A forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart – Ashley Lorenzana

You can be the super-duper ‘it girl’ and still be lost in your reality. How? Lets take a typical scenario. Say you’re a top model in the fashion industry with a gazillion runways and photo spreads to your portfolio. You are one of the successful minorities, with daily shoots and weekly traveling schedules, and a seasonal engagement with top fashion shows across the world. You have made your agent richer than he ever dreamed he would be in years. You are no longer the girl from the ghetto and your vocabulary has dramatically switched from local lingua to Ferragamo and Christian Louboutin. Your career is every girl’s dream because you make it seem so easy by gliding through your routines with such enviable grace. Seems like a perfect picture right? Yes it does but guess what?


Louboutin Stiletto

Louboutin Stiletto


Half the time, you are constantly self-motivating and gingering yourself to stay the haul. You get to work and you wish the hours would fly by so you can get back to where your day started, which is your cozy bed; So, to achieve that quicker and faster you switch to daydream and fantasy mode – hibernation mode. The place where you are happiest and calm, anywhere but what you are meant to do in the present. Anywhere but work. Your escape destination has become your favorite mind-travel destination. Do you love your job? Yes, but lately you’d rather not be dressing up and strutting the runway. Do you love the glamorous designer clothes? Yes, but you’d rather be in a jumper and sweats, having drinks with the girls all weekend. Do you love the shoes, bags and accessories that accrue to you courtesy your fab job? Yes, but somehow that’s been the only exciting things in your life for a very long time now, they’ve soon blurred into bore! That popular saying, “A million girls would kill for that job”, no longer thrills you and make your stomach tizzy. The joke that cracked everyone up is no longer funny; everyone is laughing his or her guts out but you. Maybe the joke is on you! You are in all the right places but for the wrong reasons. If this is your story then two things are correct; you are the ‘Super-duper it-girl’ and you are absent from your reality. Your repeated forced smile is a dire sign that something is dreadfully wrongly with everything. That picture isn’t good.


Ferragamo Shoe



So what do you do, quit your job? Not really, at least not immediately. A job like this one comes with a lot of prospects, cherry and bubbly people, maybe happy, maybe optimistic. I guess it takes some dose of optimism and positivity and cheeriness to survive in an industry as tough and demanding as the fashion industry or any industry for that matter. Back to the question, what do you do? Let’s have a second look at that quote by Ashley Lorenzana.


Never try to do anything that is outside of who you are. A forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart, so recognize it when it happens. Living a lie will reduce you to one. – Ashley Lorenzana

Yeah the first line at the top was only a part of the original quote. Now with the complete text, what do you think you should do?

Here is what, I think I’d do if I found myself in situations where I am supposedly having a good time but can’t seem to drown the slightest nudge that implies I’m having a ‘not-so-bad’ time. Bad is bad! Whether it is the ‘not-so-bad’ or ‘not-as-bad’ type. I’ll begin first by asking myself, why do I feel a tad sad? Why do I feel very low after laughing so hard? Why is my heartbeat anxious at the thought of sunrise? ‘Why’ is always a good place to begin when seeking answers? What is the secret to my happiness? What gives me fulfillment; Status or purpose?





Sometimes awareness can be painful, especially when we judge ourselves so harshly by what we are becoming aware of in our lives. 


As the light begins to shine on you and you begin to find answers, try not to beat yourself up. Give yourself a hug and tell yourself, you are going to work this out and in doing so, you will surely find the strength to work out of limbo.


The words “I am” are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you. ~A.L. Kitselman


Avoid the temptation to say silly words like, ‘Gosh! How dumb have I been? The answers’ been staring me in the face all this time’, ‘If only I’d read this post before now’, ‘How could I have been so cowardly, and stupid?’ No, that’s unacceptable. Instead say to yourself, ‘Awesome, truly sewing gives me so much joy! I am going to reach out to all my top designer friends and begin my journey to stardom on a new path! Whoohoo! This feels real good!’   Say only what you want to become. You don’t want stupid and cowardly to come chasing you in broad day light like Freddie Kruger. Most certainly not, rather awesome, joy and victory cries will come after you to claim you.





Stay in the present moment


Finally, stay in the present moment. Be here, this moment and now, be fully aware and engaged with your thoughts, your actions and how you are evolving. Embrace the life that is your own. Choose the life that you want not the life that you need. There’s a difference.




  1. I think many times women are at a loss of who or what they want to be. They are stuck, stuck in the expectations of others, stuck in the loss of self and self worth — as a wife, a mother, an employee, etc. It is often said “it’s a man’s world” I say “it’s a man’s world, but with a woman’s influence” No man no matter what rank he holds who has a wife is leading in his capacity alone. His wife is the silent partner, the unheard voice the real leader. Men believe they rule the world but when ever a man lays his head on that pillow beside his wife, when he unburdens his heart to her, when she takes him in her arms and begins cooing words of encouragement, like it or not, she has just influenced his decisions for when the day breaks.

    Women, we are more powerful than we believe. Why smile a forced smile when hilarious joy can be yours? What does it take for you to realize you are uniquely made? It’s a man’s world—-but with woman’s influence!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good question! – What does it take for you to realize you are uniquely made?

      Women spend most of their lives giving…a duty we take on from very tender ages… little wonder why your typical everyday woman would freeze, when asked, “what do you really want?” ….women are usually not accustomed to receiving, much less demand something for themselves…


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