Present moment

Missing Angels

At every one point in time there is a way

However when we aren’t looking we miss:

An answer

A helper

A provision

A spring

If only we will look closely to the nuances of the moment

If only we believe, we will see angels ascending and descending upon the Son of man

TRAVELING SOLO

There is an interesting story about a man on a journey from Jerusalem to Jericho. Along the way, robbers attacked him; they stripped him, beat him and left him half-dead. Other travelers encountered him but refused to help until along came the Samaritan. He took pity on him and went to him. He treated his wounds with oil and wine and bandaged his wounds. Then he put the wounded man on his donkey and took him to the inn where he cared for him for the rest of the day. The following day he gave the innkeeper some money and instructed him to ‘Look after him’. As he was about to leave, he promised he’d return and pay up any extra expense.

What moving story about love, compassion and selflessness. I have a theory and that’s what I’m going to be sharing with you this December. I do believe that like that man, each one of us is on a lonely journey at some point in our lives. In fact I do believe that our journeys, however crowded, are still lonely and even though we may not know it, we are actually traveling solo. And that on these solo journeys, no matter how far we travel, I believe the Samaritan comes along.

Have you ever wondered about how you survived the darkest seasons of your life? How badly you were broken and down trodden yet you survived. You woke up one morning and there you were, bandaged and cared for with no clue how you pulled through. How that everyone who mattered had deserted you and you were left confused and distraught.

You take one look at yourself today and you know you would be a fool to deny that at some point you weren’t really alone. That in fact you were never alone even though it seemed you traveled solo.

So join me as I explore the mysterious working of the Good Samaritan and how all through time, the Lord God has remained an ever-present help in trouble. I am a living testimony and phase after phase I can clearly trace the footprints of the Samaritan in my life’s journeys. As we move along, I hope that you too would be able to make that discovery for yourself.

Read Luke 10:30-35

 

Selah

OPEN THE GATES

This is the last of the ember months and the final month for this year. And as the gates were shut for November at 11:59pm on the 30th, a new set of gates opened at 12:00am on the 1st of December to usher in a new season, a new epistle, and new grace for those who would walk through the gates.

Gates are opening and closing all through our lives. The question is; are you aware of this phenomenon of life? It just clocked twelve midnight as I write and it occurred to me that a new gate for a new day had just opened. As one day ends and another gate shuts, it is my earnest desire to do my work diligently as the clock ticks, to live life fervently and serve devotedly, to love unconditionally and forgive 70 x 7 times as along as offenses persists, to give generously, and allow my heart to ponder those things that matter most – like faith, love, hope and eternal peace. To pray fervently and to be a faithful steward unto God and humanity. And after all is said and done, either for one day or just a month, I want to be found standing at the gate with an outcry of expectation – “Open the Gates!!!”

So today in this month of December, perhaps you were never conscious of these gates in the initial stages, you can be aware now as another day is set to dusk so the new can dawn. With outstretched arms let the heavens hear your outcry “Open the Gates!!!” say it with faith and expectation so that the Lord of the gates can be Lord over your day as you walk through with great expectation.

Selah

Sings with me

Beautiful melodies well up from within
Mellifluous voices join the rhythm
I hear sweet tenors ring through the room
I step to the beat of your tapping feet
I gyrate to the harmonious chanting of a celestial host
Your love is better than wine
And when you sing with me
In that soft and gentle way you do
Mouthing a familiar melody
My heart swells with gratitude
As your voice pitches with mine
The room is filled with incense from my praise

RAIN ON ME

The past year had me broken in pieces
Torn in many places
Yet He reassures me
That He will heal me
And bind my wounds
That He will shower on me like the winter rains
That He will bathe me,
Like the spring rains that water the earth

– Hosea 6:1-3

JUST SAY NO. END OF STORY.

“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” – Paulo Coelilo

I can bet that there are a ton of ladies who can identify with the negative of that statement. Me inclusive. There are more women suffering guilty and self-deprecating thoughts of always wanting to please others other than ourselves.

So that we find ourselves in gatherings, parties or other engagements that do not align with us and we end up feeling sorry for ourselves by the time its over or we regret the things we should have done but didn’t do because we had to go somewhere with someone we couldn’t say no to.

We gradually watch our lives diminish with very little confidence and gut because we are constantly blaming someone for the opportunities we missed and the chance we didn’t take.

It is a compulsive subconscious urge to self-reproach, one of self-betrayal. We make it look like we are completely helpless, that we are stuck with these people who constantly drain us and demean us.

What we must realize however, is that as long as we keep allowing these negative influences into our lives, we will keep losing grip of our ability to take hold of the reins and choose our own path.

No one has the power to make you feel inferior unless you give them the permission. When you constantly say ‘no’ to yourself and your inner truth, you give other people the permission to ruin your plans and inadvertently your life.

It is only by saying ‘no’ that you can concentrate on the things that are really important. – SPJ 1955-2011

It is okay to say no. So long as you are not saying no to your priorities, your plans, your potential and your peace of mind. As far as you are not saying no to your self-esteem, your self-confidence and your dignity, you are free to say ‘no’ to anything or anyone that volunteers otherwise.

People most of the time are not clear themselves about what they want or where they want to be so in the bid to get approval, they try to rope others into their plans and mostly they will prey on the persons they consider to be weak-willed or not having a mind of their own. They will prey on the impressionable and the wimpish but this doesn’t have to be you.

At any given moment, you have the power to say, ‘this is not how the story is going to end’. – Unknown

Decide that you will take charge of your life and that you will begin to say yes to your own priorities and values, to your own sanity and your liberty. The more you say yes to your inner truth the clearer you become about the things and or persons that do not compliment your authentic self.

You become bolder at ‘saying no’ to time wasters and busy-bodies and to negative minded people who once preyed on your ignorance. Now you know better and you don’t have to worry your head over who is upset or offended by your ‘NOs’; that becomes the least of your problems.

At every given point in time make sure you are ‘saying yes’ to yourself and ‘saying no’ to insecurity, low self-esteem and self-deprecation. Do not cower for fear of being perceived as mean or insolent either. As a matter of fact you are better off because you now see clearly, and can distinctly identify the people who need your attention, love and affection.

From now on, whenever you are faced with a situation requiring your decision or commitment and you can tell deep down that it doesn’t look like an explicit ‘yes’, just say no, end of story. Try it today; knowledge does not apply itself, we learn by doing. Begin to say No!

“If it’s not an Absolute Yes, it’s a NO.” – Cheryl Richardson

YES_NO_MAYBE

EPIPHANY

‘A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies… The man who never reads lives only one.’ – George R.R. Martin


I am reading a book that is literally turning my life inside out. I usually will like to share what book it is and who wrote it but this time around I choose not to. It feels too sacred to disclose. And too soon to uncover to the world. However I will tell you a little  something about it; it is telling me in many ways than words can describe. Still I will try to tell you as much as I can and quite simply and concisely too.

A book is a dream that you hold in your hand. –Neil Gaiman

The book is telling me to strip myself of what I think life is about, and begin to draw new connections and basically fill in the gaps in my world. It is telling me that there is so much out there for me to see and so much more for me to experience if only I will take the time to create these sceneries and these experiences for myself.

With each page I devour, I think to myself, that this author is going to kill me with pleasure — the pleasure of reading and rewriting in my mind’s eye what I am reading, is so intense. It feels as though I would suddenly orgasm and give up the ghost but each time I climax, I am revivified to relive the process over again. It is intense what this book is doing to me. I am being born again.

Whenever you read a good book, somewhere in the world a door opens to allow in more light. –Vera Nazarian

This is exactly what happens to you, whenever you pick up a book and read. Epiphany. A moment of sudden revelation and insight. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without books. The world is too large to comprehend or drink up in one big gulp. You have to learn to savor it in bits and reading books does that for us. It ushers us into new universes that only exist in the realm of the mind, and you begin to experience new truths, understand controversies, and deduce your own conclusions.

A good book on your shelf is a friend that turns its back on you and remains a friend. ~Author Unknown

Through books you are able to experience the author’s world without intruding yet still be as vivid and solid as the characters within the book, secretly observing for yourself their sacred world in the open space of your mind. You are opened to possibilities you never dared and then somehow you are almost immediately empowered to begin to dare them, you begin to challenge your own obscurities and seek your own answers, chart your own path.

In the end books empower us. And the kind of books you devour are a reflection of the depth of your hunger, the earnestness of your search, and the willingness of your will to be bigger, bolder and better. The frequency with which you read also in a way is proportional to the speed of your mind’s growth. Books in a way are our windows to the world we know, and doors into worlds yet unknown. Read a book a month and watch how it works its magic in you. A book a week or a book a month depending on your speed, brings you a step closer to your own moment of epiphany.

If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads.

–Ralph Waldo Emerson

books & reading

 

A WORD FOR THE WISE, A KIND WORD FROM MOI

“Promise Yourself”

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”
― Christian D. Larson

Life is beautiful

WAKE UP AND LIVE

It’s not about attaining your dream, it’s growing stronger through the challenges of attaining your dream and who you become through that journey

Have you ever wondered why it is often said that you are your greatest opposition and your greatest enemy? Why it is strongly believed that the most important battles in life are the battles of the mind? Why no matter what happens unless you believe in yourself very little can come out of your seemingly great efforts? Why you are constantly asked to dress the part. It is because, even though you embody this great dream or idea, you are more important than the dream or goal or idea, whatever it may be.

Often times we put too much emphasis on what we want to get, what we want to achieve and then we neglect what is most important which is, getting there. We neglect that bridge that connects us from ‘here’ to ‘there’. We forget that our ‘here’ is of as much significance as our ‘there.’  We are swayed by fantasies of the glittering ‘there’ and in an attempt to achieve this great dream, we submerge ourselves in activities rather than in growth.

Think about a child, lets say your little niece for instance, who loves to micmic roles of an actress. Every time she performs an act you laugh and pat her back, and try to encourage her fantasies by buying her things that would keep her flames alive. Still you know within yourself that it takes a grown woman to be an actress. And no matter how much she tries as a child actress, she would have to be a full grown woman, schooled thoroughly in theater, to truly become an actress.

It takes a certain kind of person to become a certain kind of person. And it takes a certain kind of person to attain a certain kind of lifestyle, or achieve a certain kind of goal. If your dream is to double your income, and earn say $5,000 as monthly income, the most important question to you, shouldn’t be about struggling for a promotion or a getting a better paying job, rather it should be thus; “Who do I need to become to earn $5000?” Other than focusing on your results, you focus on the process.

The purpose of your goal is the journey. The purpose of the pursuit is the process.

Whenever you set a new goal in life, you automatically raise the standards you operate by. With your new goal, you say to yourself, this is who I intend to become. You realize that in order to reach your goal, you must become a certain type of person. This means your goal is high up there and you are down below here and in order to reach it you must stretch. That stretch is your process, your journey; that is what is most important.

Not the $5000. Not the house by the beach. Not the fat bank account. Not fame or popularity. Instead what happens between ‘here’ and ‘there’ and who you become. That is where the transformation takes place. The exchange; that is where the price is paid. That is where you negotiate. Multi-billion dollar babies do not become billion dollar babies only because hay had a big break. They became billion dollar babies because they changed… from who they were to who they needed to be to become multi-million dollar babies.

Isn’t it obvious that the biggest reason why we never talk about what we want to become in life is become we fear being scorned and laughed at? And why are we scorned and laughed at? Why do these mediocre minds, so to speak, look you over and laugh their hardest when you tell them how you are going to build the most magnificent structure ever known to man? Simple, it is because you do not look like the sort of person who builds magnificent architectural work, even though you seem one of the best in your class.

And it isn’t so much about your appearance but your aura, your general comportment. They look at your entire make-up and they think to themselves, she must be dreaming. That is why you have to prove them wrong. And you can only do that by changing, growing, and becoming that outstanding architect. You focus more on becoming than on attaining. Allowing yourself to be totally consumed by the result of your goal can be gruesome and frustrating because you work your ass off and rake in very little rewards. Instead, you focus on becoming this awe-struck personality who achieves thus and thus a goal. That way you find that rather than fuss, you glide through your process.

We’ll never get it all done; we’ll never get it all “right”. It’s here for us to enjoy the process.

Having raised the standards in your life, you created the space you’ll need to stretch so you can reach your goal, as you stretch you change, don’t forget to enjoy the process. Don’t get too carried away working to be the part, that you forget to dress the part. That is the fun part, the dress rehearsal so to speak. When kids do make-believe, they do it with delight and with deep satisfaction. It is in that deep satisfaction that you stretch. That is where growth takes place. In the spaces where you enjoy with deep satisfaction, the little details that add up along the way.

Yes you may have to attend seminars or conferences where people who have achieved your desired milestone are found, attempt what they have done, and do what they did but far above it all is loving it while you do it. Live throughout the process don’t sleep through it and hope to suddenly wake up at the other side. You will be sorely surprised.

In this journey, you must stay awake, alive, animated. If you have to return to school, do it with fervor. If you must take a course or go on a trip to immense yourself in certain cultures or learn a new language, do it with enthusiasm and eager expectation. If you must change jobs, as you go through the process of sending out your resumes to different employers, let it be an adventure and not some boring obligation.

Who am I becoming in all of this?

Who are you becoming? Big question. Are you happier, more grateful and hopeful or are you frequently depressed, complaining, and negative every step of the way. Remember, that everything is everything; the way you do one thing is the way you will do another and consequently, who you are becoming determines the prize. You are either becoming the strong athlete who runs for the prize or you are the grumpy trainee who never makes it to the big game in the first place.

A cheerful heart and a cheerful attitude will get you to your destination faster and happier while ingratitude, complaints, blame and a disgruntled attitude will bring you disappointments, rejections and hard luck stories. What you need is a high dose of positivity and positive expectations, so that no matter how many times you fail, you know failure contributes more to your growth than anything else in the world.

Wake up and live. Be excited about your transformation and your change. Your ‘there’ is only a a few ‘heres‘ away. Enjoy this now, enjoy this moment, be grateful for today, embrace your growth. And trust me, by the time you get ‘there’ hardly will any of those laughing jackasses accept that what they see is true. They will see that you made it, and that you have become this shinning star and they will not recognize you. It is because you have grown. You have changed. You are now the sort of person who does great and amazing things.

serena-williams-wins-2013-french-open

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LOOK AWAY TO STAY FOCUSED

STAY HUNGRY. STAY FOOLISH – Steve Jobs


I made a major shift recently in my life that probably confused a handful of people and a few of my friends. I realized that I was constantly stressed, repeatedly drained and overly busy doing a lot of stuff in pursuit of my goals. I was stretched in so many directions trying to build my PR business, grow my clientele, and pursue my passion as a writer at the same time.

My emotions were stretched thin and so was my perseverance, especially because living a city like Lagos, (the busiest, craziest and the most insanely bustling city in Nigeria) you are forced to contend with many oppositions; its dynamic and infuriated demography, the mad rush and the endemic competitive residents. It can be crazy. It is crazy. And commuting within the city was one of my most dreaded ventures. It was hostile and it sucked out the very life out of you.

I knew I needed to take a break, a breather, something, anything to transfuse the life back into me. So I made major decisions, I dropped everything as in everything. And disappeared. LOL. Yeah, that was what I did. I had to find my Mojo, get back my zip and my tang. I had to revive those dead cells, regenerate the very tissues that gave me my uniqueness, so I did what only me was known to do at the very odd times and the very unexpected moments. I shifted.

My friends thought, “Oh dear, here she goes again.” My new acquaintances thought, “What the hell is wrong with her, is she okay?” My family members, didn’t understand it but supported me all the same. They give me that look that says, “hey babe, we don’t know what the hell you’re about right now but we can tell its going to be gorgeous.”

Before I dropped everything and disappeared, everything weirdly, seemed to be working out. I’d just closed two fabulous deals that seemed like the bomb. They were the bomb. And the clients were nothing short of extraordinary, breathtaking and awesome. They were the kind of people you wanted to spend your lunch time with everyday and in every way. Two stunning and spectacular female entrepreneurs who called the shots in their fields.

Still I dropped it all and disappeared. Why? Something wasn’t right. Something wasn’t in place. Everything wasn’t in place even though everything seemed to workout. I wasn’t in place. I was out of focus. And if you’re into filmmaking, you’ll know that isn’t right. I’m the movie star here. I’m the protagonist. I’m the life of the party. Why should I be out of focus, be the blur? I was off balance. I was tilting to the edge, about to fall off.

That certainly wasn’t right. So in order to get it all back together, to stand still, erect and solid, I had to take my eyes off the chaos in spite of the spotted fabulosity. I had to look away to set my eyes on what was most important and most crucial — me. I had to get back to center. Take my eyes off the exterior and place it on the interior.

Oh, and its been amazing. My muscles are healing, stretching and growing. And this blog happens to be the first fruits of that transformation. I have found my voice and I am building my tribe. It is so easy and insanely fulfilling, I can hardly contain myself. I mean I am so in touch with my inner self, and alive like never before, I am awed by my own growth.

My coach always told me that the inner growth was the most crucial and the most important. Everything else springs from your inner growth. She gave an illustration with workouts; when you workout, you are advised to do it every other day because the space in between is when your muscles heal and grow. Growth happens in silence and quite. You only have to believe, and find the courage to take your eyes off whats weighing you to find what will reenergize you.

It’s never easy to leave the familiar and chase after the unknown. It is perhaps the scariest thing you will ever do. Yet it promises to be good — in the long run. That is where staying focused comes in. Once you find your center, stay on it. Once you find what you love, stay with it. Once you find your silence, never comprise it. Once you take your eyes off the distracting exterior, keep your eyes on your internal core. Let everything else flow from your epicenter.

Stay on that goal, water that seed, and keep watering it, never mind that the shoots take forever to sprout. The seed itself needs to draw from the earth, its nutrients, the sunlight, and the water you give it and these take a significant amount of time. Your seed needs sometime to announce its potential to the universe in order to draw just what it needs for its development, and trust me that doesn’t happen in one day, or one month. It could take years. (More about the seed soon)

So, like my role model, Steve Jobs said, stay foolish — disappear if you have to but find your Mojo, stay hungry — keep chasing after the unknown. You can hardly go wrong. You cannot connect the dots now, I hardly can myself. Still, I’m certain that in a few years from now, I would be most grateful to God, that I made that shift when I did. Stay foolish — you will be misunderstood sometimes, but stay focused. Welcome to August!

Desert girl