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Alive Yet Among The Dead – Bukkie Allison

Hello City-girls!

Be Inspired! Read and be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Let us not live like orphans, for we are God’s precious children…

Thank you Jasmine for this opportunity to be a blessing!

Celibate Sisters

 “If you follow her, she will lead you down to the world of the dead.” | Proverbs 5:5

The truth about sexual sin is that it is a growing cancer that soon eats up your heart like a grizzly bear eats up his prey. It’s like spiraling down a dark hole and without being able to stop yourself.

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Goodbyes

We turn a new leaf
We ache all over from the changes we’ve embraced
We know what we must now do
We brace ourselves for what lies ahead
We move on
We have no pity, we feel no remorse
We see where the road ahead is going to bend
We know we must follow its course
We sense the struggle between two evils
We must soon let go of the other
We choose the pain of change over the pain of loss
We read the handwriting on the wall
We must now follow our dreams even if it takes us far apart
We cannot stop this river of tears
We know it is time to say goodbye

EPIPHANY

‘A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies… The man who never reads lives only one.’ – George R.R. Martin


I am reading a book that is literally turning my life inside out. I usually will like to share what book it is and who wrote it but this time around I choose not to. It feels too sacred to disclose. And too soon to uncover to the world. However I will tell you a little  something about it; it is telling me in many ways than words can describe. Still I will try to tell you as much as I can and quite simply and concisely too.

A book is a dream that you hold in your hand. –Neil Gaiman

The book is telling me to strip myself of what I think life is about, and begin to draw new connections and basically fill in the gaps in my world. It is telling me that there is so much out there for me to see and so much more for me to experience if only I will take the time to create these sceneries and these experiences for myself.

With each page I devour, I think to myself, that this author is going to kill me with pleasure — the pleasure of reading and rewriting in my mind’s eye what I am reading, is so intense. It feels as though I would suddenly orgasm and give up the ghost but each time I climax, I am revivified to relive the process over again. It is intense what this book is doing to me. I am being born again.

Whenever you read a good book, somewhere in the world a door opens to allow in more light. –Vera Nazarian

This is exactly what happens to you, whenever you pick up a book and read. Epiphany. A moment of sudden revelation and insight. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without books. The world is too large to comprehend or drink up in one big gulp. You have to learn to savor it in bits and reading books does that for us. It ushers us into new universes that only exist in the realm of the mind, and you begin to experience new truths, understand controversies, and deduce your own conclusions.

A good book on your shelf is a friend that turns its back on you and remains a friend. ~Author Unknown

Through books you are able to experience the author’s world without intruding yet still be as vivid and solid as the characters within the book, secretly observing for yourself their sacred world in the open space of your mind. You are opened to possibilities you never dared and then somehow you are almost immediately empowered to begin to dare them, you begin to challenge your own obscurities and seek your own answers, chart your own path.

In the end books empower us. And the kind of books you devour are a reflection of the depth of your hunger, the earnestness of your search, and the willingness of your will to be bigger, bolder and better. The frequency with which you read also in a way is proportional to the speed of your mind’s growth. Books in a way are our windows to the world we know, and doors into worlds yet unknown. Read a book a month and watch how it works its magic in you. A book a week or a book a month depending on your speed, brings you a step closer to your own moment of epiphany.

If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads.

–Ralph Waldo Emerson

books & reading

 

THE LOVER BENEATH

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth
Let him hold me with his strong arms and cuddle me with his tender embrace
Let him look in my eyes with that piercing stare that freezes me in time and melts my heart
Let him speak softly into my ears with words so tender they loosen my body and rock my soul
Let him say my name and as the wind lifts the heaviness in his voice, let it come to rest upon my bosom
Let him take my hand and lead me to the furnace within his heart where his love for me is kindled
Let him love me like no one ever dared, like no man ever will


UNDERCOVER VICTIM

I’m thinking about a horrifying story I heard recently about an undergraduate who took the life of his father; stabbed him and chopped him up into bits. This is not a crime story on TV, it happened real in Nigeria, in a country I live in, a real life horror. And all I could think of was, “Whatever went wrong?…How did he get there?”


Unearthed earth
Underwater casket
Deadly secrets
Underlying dirt
Caked clay
Hidden weapon
Covered corpses
Glossed surfaces
Layered strata

Concealed issues
Hidden murders
Secret hatred
Smoldering embers
Unresolved riddles
Colored perceptions
Twisted images
Silent rage
Sleeping volcano

Breaking and entering
Bloody vendetta
Stained carpets
Seared consciences
Broken fences
Broken hearts
Shattered confidence
Death


“Death of the human soul, death of friendship, death of trust, death of a loved one, death of peace, death of love, death of truth. Death is inevitable when we do not speak out in the open, when we do not speak up with courage, when we let things slide, go under. Death is inevitable when we don’t allow the light to shine through.

Underwater

FAILURE IS A FRIEND

FAIL FIRST, FAIL FAST, FAIL OFTEN – Paul Martinelli


If you are going to make it big, then you must make room for failure or you will be miserable. Failure is inevitable and unless you create room in your heart to embrace your failures, you will become disgruntled, bitter and a quitter.

Why do we fail? Simple, it is because we do not know better. When we fail, what happens; we learn. However that isn’t always the case, because not many people realize they have learnt a new genius. They allow the downside of failure keep them down. They do not realize that there is the upside to failure; which is the lesson learnt.

Whatever you learn every time you fail is your lift to success. It is your ticket to greatness and your  key to success. This means  you must fail if you must do any better than you currently are. This may be hard for you especially if you are used to winning. If for instance, you are an athlete who is used to winning all the time, and suddenly you fail, it doesn’t mean karma has caught up with you, it only means you have reached your threshold and need to step up your game. You need to stretch. Become a bigger star. Get a new tune. Create a better groove.

We fear failure majorly because it shows us our limits and we hate it because we love our routine and detest change. Change is good but hardly comfortable. That is why we love our comfort zones. It is natural. We don’t like to go out in the rain or get scorched in the sun, but a little of both gives us the opportunity to appreciate the better part of life.

Failure helps you see your deficiency and then inspires you to improve. At least that is what it is meant to do. We only stay defeated because we choose to be defeated by failure. Failure is hardly defeat, only a hard blow. You can take that blow, recover, and move on. Or you can take that blow, be offended and remain bitter. The choice is yours. A good friend will always tell you the truth and that is what failure does for us — it shows to us our weakness and our shortcomings. Quit your hard luck stories and start doing something to change it. Get better.

If you are going to be great, you will have to go beyond good. If you are going to be awesome, you will have to go beyond fabulous. If you are going to do the supernatural, you will have to get past natural and become super. If you are going to do wonders, you will have to step up from being a local champion and become the 8th wonder of the world. If you would be anything worthwhile in life, you must as a matter of fact, fail first, fail fast and fail often.

 

Try the extraordinary

 

 

 

5 DISCOVERIES YOU WILL MAKE ON YOUR LIFE’S JOURNEY


A hero is born among a hundred, a wise man is found among a thousand, but an accomplished one might not be found even among a hundred thousand men. – Plato


1. There is always an extra mile, an extra push

Never think for once in your life that being mediocre has got its advantages. Maybe it does. In that case you will live a quiet meaningless life with not a single bother. You will spend most of your days a spectator, hardly a commentator because that would require a ginormous dose of gusto. But of course that isn’t in your plan. You may be thinking though, that well I am not Oprah, I cannot stand before a crowd and speak. Who says that’s what being a hero is all about? Who says it’s about trying to be someone else? Heroism is found within us. We become heroes when we realize that we matter in the world and in our own little way begin to make that impression on every soul we meet. We spread our pixie dust everywhere we go, we lift a dark cloud and leave behind some laughter, a soft touch, a big hug. We become wise when we embrace the joy of living with zest and with a niggling compulsion to be the soprano in every day’s symphony. This is a fact of life, that heroes and the wise can be spotted among a thousand. But the one who has gone the extra mile to hone her skills, and harness her innate power, is so hard to find. And isn’t it so, that the nurse in the small clinic downtown is known by her patients as one-in-a-million. And the teacher in the local school with broken windows, will always remain the favorite and most loved by her poor pupils, she is to them more than gold, a one-of-a-kind. And the single mum whose kids at Christmas would always inscribe in the card greatest-mum-ever. What is your purpose, what is your reason for being, what is your high calling? Is it to merely drift through life and bob at every opinion that wings its way through the air? Is it to be uninspired neither by sunshine or by rain? Is it to exude a lackluster vibe and be hidden from the stars above? Can you begin to discover the beauty muddled in disorder and find peace in chaos? Can you begin to make sense of your dilemmas? Can you find within you the courage, to piece together an image worthy of praise, with the fragments from your misfortune? Can you become a one-of-a-kind? Will you go that extra mile and be the one in one hundred thousand? Not the spectator.


You will learn as you get older, that the rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms and never, ever apologize for it. Mandy Hale


2. Rules are meant to be broken

Be unstoppable. Be brave. Be bold. As you evolve and your muscles toughen, you will begin to appreciate your journey more and love yourself even better. At every milestone you will realize how much you have grown, how much you have learnt and how lonely you have sojourned. You realize that indeed you have taken the road less traveled and even though it hasn’t been easy it’s been worth it. You have chosen the path that is uniquely yours and uniquely you. You have overcome the urge to trim off the very shoots that give you zing. You have embraced your quirkiness and in it you have discovered your greatest potential and now with it you will impact the world with wonder. But first you must travel this road, this rarely beaten path where the rules that exist are the ones you have chosen and designed, suitable for you and tolerable only by your quirkiness. You will learn this fact of life, first to be the unbearable pain and fear of being estranged, then later as an incredible reward; the joys of imperfections and the beauty of idiosyncrasies.


You will find your voice in so many places, it doesn’t mean you are insane, it only means that deep down, you recognize who you are and soon you will become at peace with that image. It means you are growing and are mastering your rhythm


3. You must make the effort to find yourself first, then everything else follows

As you journey through life you will see many wonders and creations that make you dance within. A line of thought, a song, a whisper. When you hear them, your heart leaps. In your search for yourself and what you love, you will meet many people, different origins and with different values yet something inside of them is recognizable to you. Something they say or do is familiar, like a faint memory, something in the way they interpret the world, aligns with something deep inside of you. In the myriad of hues, you find and choose the textures and patterns that are uniquely you and reflect your deepest desires. In the cacophony of tunes, you can single out the notes and tempos that resonate with you. In the midst of the dissonance, you find melody that only you can relate to the world. And within a jungle of views and values, from little pieces collected over time, you find rhythm, in it all there is concordance. As the puzzle assembles together, you begin to find yourself, your image is clearer, your voice is fine-tuned and your identity is certain. You have become a true citizen of the world. You have mastered your rhythm, now you can sing your song with audaciousness and grace. You have taken your place in the world.


You will learn that true love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion but on the contrary, an element calm and deep. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. – Ellen G. White


4. Your perspective about love will continue to evolve

A woman will discover love in the most awkward place, in the most unusual person, at the most unexpected time, and in the most defining moments of her life. If her life weren’t a defining moment at the time of falling in love, then finding love at the time, would certainly give it some definiteness. She would experience love in many colors, and many shades. At some point it is a roaring fire, some other time it is a ravaging beast, for some it is like the wind, never knowing where it is going or where it is coming from. For many it is a wild fire, it comes and licks up every ounce of their being. Life is saturated with tragedies and fairytale endings alike, where some have lost their senses, others have made sense of their lives, where some lose their reasoning, others found their paradise. Love is many things to different people, and overtime the wise ones among us have come to the conclusion that our perception of love is probably the last thing on the list. And time and again we will discover as we journey along, that love can be calm, and deep, like still waters running through rocky crevices. That it does after all, have eyes that can see, and it looks beyond the externals to discover emotions, gestures, motives and sensibilities within the person that is about to become lover or foe. True love is a mystery yet. One that will continually awe us for as long as the human race exists.

 


You won’t always get where you intended to go in life, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be. – Marc & Angel


5. You won’t always arrive where you intended, but it would be just fine

If truly this is a journey, then in your hands are a map, and a compass, telling you what turn to take and what bridge to follow. Your destination is new to you, you have never been there before but with the map, you know just how to get there, so you prepare and you begin your journey. You have a picture in your mind’s eye of what this utopia will look like, you have painted one and possible etched it unto a board you carry with you as you journey. You follow the trail as directed by your map, you take each day at a time, you encounter all kinds of hazards and eventualities on the road, you meet a few other travelers, you exchange values and notes. You are making progress, you are persistent, and after what seems like a gazillion miles, you arrive at a certain city, bustling with so much exuberance and the people  there bounced with enthusiasm and optimism. You thought to yourself that perhaps you would camp there a while and then get on your journey, then you realized how you loved this place, somehow everything seemed fine and perfect and in place. You fit in like a cut out rock in the temple walls in Jerusalem. You thought that perhaps, it wouldn’t be so bad after all if you chose to call this place home and then like a Christmas miracle, you are told not to worry your little head over nothing. You discover that this place that you have grown to love is apparently the only existing city along this route. And  that though it can be spotted on the map it certainly isn’t on ground. Far from disappointed, you are overwhelmed with joy, that even though it isn’t like you painted it, you are happy just being there. These sort of adventures will happen many times throughout your life journey. You will have plans like school, canning your masters or your PHD, then somewhere in between, you fall crazily in love, get married and have a set of twins. You set goals to start a business, then a prospective client turns out to be a fantastic boss, you’re hired by the big guns and now you live and work abroad. It wasn’t what you intended but it fits like a glove, you are happy, satisfied, and moving along your course with contentment and joy.

Mysteries

LOST BUT NOT LOST

Don’t be afraid to lose yourself in what you love, you’ll find yourself there right back again – Marc & Angel

This is a typical case of finding a needle in a haystack, how does that happen? By a miracle. Simple. Only a miracle will suddenly bring you to the spot, at a time when you aren’t even looking, and voila, your needle. You pick it up and you laugh to yourself because you know that sort of thing doesn’t just happen and not to everyone. You think for a moment that perhaps, you are special after all.

There are moments in life when, like the needle in a haystack, you are lost and completely clueless. When you first started out, it was fun and dazzling, now it is well… a step away from crazy and insane as in really bad. Not good kinda bad.

You are wondering, wasn’t I supposed to be on this job for two years and then return to my home country? Why isn’t that happening? Why haven’t I made a move to quit? Wasn’t this supposed to be a casual date, why do I suddenly want more than just a casual date? Why do I suddenly harbor thoughts of satin dresses and cakes? This wasn’t part of the plan? Didn’t I say no babies until I had my second degree? How come I don’t feel a tinge of regret since the third baby arrived?

What is wrong with me? Am I losing my zip? Is this what happens when, you feel you are on the right track only to discover  you’ve  made a wrong decision, and then before you know it, everything collapses on you? What is happening to me? Why do I feel lost? I do love my life, but this new path was never part of the plan, how much longer before I lose my joy? Trust me, I can tell that something is awfully wrong, I usually don’t do this, I’m  usually not like this. I used to be the life of the party. The person everyone wants to talk to. The one who always dressed the sexiest. My days were brighter and funner.

What’s happening is that, we shift and we morph and we change, and when we change, everything changes. We stop loving peppers and start obsessing over garlic. We suddenly don’t want to travel the world again, we want to build a family. We wake up with a new urge and we start to draw a new map. We are loving it, but we are scared. We are frightened. We are terrified because we do not know where this new yearn will take us, how far it will throw us and maybe too far from the original plan, too far from the original goal.

It is true that our goals do evolve. It may look like a different goal but it is the same target, same aim. Same dream to be, do and have more in life. The dream to be all that we can. The sheer knowing that we can do all things, causes our subconscious mind to constantly bring our way all kinds of possibilities to ensure that we drink our fill of life.

So, it’s okay to feel lost sometimes, that things aren’t going as planned and what’s even scarier is that you aren’t inclined to stop it. You love the change. You secretly enjoy what it is doing to you, but you feel deep inside that you may have betrayed your dreams, no you haven’t. Don’t be afraid to lose yourself in what you love, you will find yourself there, right back again. Meaning, it’s only a matter of time and then the fog will clear and you find that you are right where you should be at the very place where it all adds up.

Lost but not lost

 

FIND WHAT YOU LOVE AND TAME YOUR HORSE

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die life is a broken-winged bird, that cannot fly – Marc and Angel

Dreams. Isn’t that what we all live for? You see a guy working so hard, killing himself over every dollar he makes just so he can make more. If you are lucky and you get him in a corner, you’ll discover it’s all because of this girl he’s met, she’s stolen his heart, she’s said yes and they’re going to be married. Nothing else matters to him than making her happy. You think to yourself that he’s stupid, that there are better things to kill one’s self over. Really? Better things like what? How else can we rev the engines of our lives if there is nothing driving us, anything?

Believe it or not, even the cold blooded robbers or the assassins have got dreams and they too probably have the girls they love   motivating them to take more lives and break into more homes. They have the city’s law enforcement on their heels, they don’t sleep easy, they are constantly on the run, yet they wouldn’t stop, because there is something driving them. A deep strong desire to be, do and have, that nothing would deter them. My point is, What is your strong desire? I’m not interested in knowing if its love, more money or a house by the beach, my point is there  has to be something driving you. There has to be something keeping you on the move or you’re finished because if you aren’t moving forward, then you’re retreating down hill. If you’re not retreating then worse still you’re on a standstill and standstill is synonymous to extinction.

A stale life is a dead life. If there’s nothing driving you, than you must be driving something, its got to be one of the two. Take a minute and think and ask yourself, why am I here? Here as in the very spot you are while you read this post. What took you there? Where are you going from there? What is the pivot of all your movements? And to what end? Remember, movement is not the same as motion. You could be a rocking chair going nowhere. So think about this a minute; what is your life about? Why do you do the things you do? Take some time to ask yourself some serious questions, and try quitting laughing about others when they talk about what drives them, when they share their dreams or where they hope to be in the next 5 years. Stop making fun of them and calling them names, like dreamer, or joker. If they are jokers for saying something about what they hope to make of their lives, then what does that make you, seeing you probably have none of such aspirations yourself?

Maybe you once had a dream and for some reason, some very, very good reason, you stopped and gave it all up. Don’t be a quitter, quitting can’t make dreams come true, but failing can. A failure can make her dream come true if she keeps trying and never stops believing her dream can be possible. While a quitter can do nothing more but go back to base, and become another has-been. It’s okay to fail, only don’t quit.

Here is how I see it, have a dream, live every moment for the cheer reason that you want to feel life coursing through your veins, because of what you are giving and what you are adding, because of who you are making happy, because of what you love and how it makes you big inside, because of the magic you bring to every moment, because of the colors you add to the world around you.

Life gets boring and painful when every night we go to bed, there is nothing to look forward to. When there is nothing bubbling inside of us, or simmering below the surface, waiting to be birthed, or hatched, when there is no excitement, no energy, no pulse, then there is concurrently no life, no meaning, no essence. Begin believing today that your life is for a reason, a meaning only you can give it. Do not be distracted or swayed by the meanings others have made of their lives, choose to create yours, you can make major leaps in life when you ride the right horse, the one that connects with you. Not someone’s. Find what you love and tame your own horse. There is so much ground ahead awaiting you, awaiting to be conquered by you.

 

Behind me is infinite power, before me is endless possibility, around me is boundless opportunity – Mac Anderson

Cowgirl

10 tough decisions you will have to make in pursuit of happiness

In matters of style, swim with the current;
in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson


1.    Follow your heart to your dreams:

Have a set of written goals. The one who seeks to be anything in life will first dream and then after dreaming will have a plan to attain that dream otherwise, as the saying goes, she would have planned to fail. Deep within you is a familiar rhythm, your in born music, the one you have been humming from the word go. You know what makes you happy. There is a place for everyone on the grande stage of life and every time you look at the stars, you see a glimpse of  who you want to be and that image gets clearer as you take consistent steps towards your goals.

When you follow your heart ,you find your voice…and opportunity, love and a world of difference will be there to greet you!

Follow your dreams to reach your goals, and then follow your goals to reach your dreams. Hold your image. Life’s storms will always rise to rock your boat, and when life happens, hold fast to dreams. You will make many turns that turn out to be dead ends, you will start-over plenty of times, you will try many ideas that would last only a few moments of success like fireworks, you will fail many times. It sounds scary but it is true. It is the beauty of dreams and that is the price you pay for staying committed to them.You’ll face lots of mountains to climb, and you’ll have the strength and belief to do it.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.~Les Brown.

2.    Walking away from anything that no longer defines you

Life is in phases and some of the best decisions you will ever make in life is knowing when a phase is closing and then trusting your intuition to lead you into the next phase of your life. These change in seasons are like the changing tracks of a rail road, they are not in the least easy transitions to make. Once you fail to turn your wheels ever so slightly to take that new course, you will continue on a course that has no plan, and no future for you but routine which leads to staleness, unproductively and inevitably extinction. The only constant thing in life is change and to find true happiness you must keep changing, keep trusting your gut to walk away from overdue liabilities, obligations and interactions that no longer resonate with you. Sometimes life calls for you to adapt, grow new skills and adaptable traits. As you keep making these changes, you will learn the difference, to know when to adapt and when to walk away. One way to know, is to listen to your inner yearnings and longings, they never lie. Its like hunger to food, when you feel those pangs you know you have to eat. Ignoring your hunger will lead to ulcers.

You can find your way in life by start listening to the wisdom of your body, and your intuition when feelings of joy appear it’s a good thing to trust that you are on the right way

And once you succeed in making that change, you develop adaptable traits to adjust into a new territory of influence. You will be misunderstood and sometimes be seen as confused or ridiculous. In the last couple of years, I’ve changed jobs quite frequently, and even though many have seen this trait as unethical, I have somehow been able to make sense of all the transitions that occur in my career. As unethical as those changes seemed, each phase brought with it new experiences that have enriched my growth. Making these choices come at different stages for all of us, for one person it could mean saying goodbye to a job, while for another it could be changing location or moving house, it could be the close of one business and the start of another. Whatever it is, you must trust your instincts to make the right move once it is time. Also remember, if you aren’t on a journey, hardly will any of these make any difference to you. You have to be going somewhere before the road signs can make any sense to you.

3.    Staying true to relationships that grow you

Even the finest dreams and the biggest ideas, like great ships, can be sunk because of the slightest shift in focus. You must recognize for yourself people who continue to point you in the direction of your dreams and then nurture those relationships. These are the people who keep telling you how good you are at something even when you don’t see the good yourself. They are the ones who always remind you of promises you have made to achieving certain goals and they never condemn you when you fail. These people are usually the minority, they are hardly among the general crowd seeking entertainment. They’re only concerned to see you begin to live up to their expectations of you which is — you can do better than you are doing now! They are like your sounding boards, they help you stay in line, and caution you when you are drifting away from your own blueprints. They sense when you’re off track and then help you get back on course. They keep you accountable. They believe in you, in your talents and in your dreams. There’s no point crowding your life with a bunch of people who literally have no use in your growth. Stick with the ones who do and nurture these friendships. Remember to return the favor when opportunity presents itself. Be a trusted friend and encourager.

4.    Choosing your circles wisely

If you want to fly like an eagle, you’ll know then that your place isn’t with the chickens. And to desire to fly like an eagle, will mean you are an eaglet needing the skill an assistance of a full grown eagle. In choosing your circles, you will be deliberating creating for yourself an environment that will help you achieve your goals. There will be a lot of friction along this path, because your priorities begin to change and when your priorities change, the company you keep changes automatically. The places you go to begin to matter and your entire outlook begins to conform to your new rules of engagement. With your new ‘highly experienced’ associations you are not afraid to stretch beyond your comfort zone. Be prepared for backlashes at this junction, because a few people would begin to say the dreadful ‘you-have-changed’ and not too many people are comfortable with being told they have changed. It is a statement of betrayal that puts you in the position of the betrayer. However, in life, when in pursuit of happiness – the fulfillment of our dreams – many things would shift and if we don’t shift with the seasons, we put ourselves at the risk of simply existing.

Everything feeds you; food, music, environments, people. Let the best surround you

5.    Consciously shutting out negativity and toxic relationships:

Our minds have a default negative thinking pattern. It is usually easier for the human mind to think negative thoughts than positive thoughts. It is easier to feel fear than bravery, to anticipate the worse than to have faith. We sight the flaws very quickly than the pluses. However true happiness only comes to those who anticipate it not those who talk about it. You have to consciously expect to be happy to be happy, in that case happiness becomes a choice not a feeling. You have to make conscious efforts to shut out the nagging thoughts of doubt and crippling fear that show up anytime you  think about your goals. It is like a daily routine of workout, you keep at it daily, reminding yourself of  what you hope to achieve and repeatedly exchanging one negative thought for a positive one. If a thought says, “what makes you think you will succeed?”, you say “what’s stopping me from trying?” In the other hand, you have dream killers, and they come in different forms, sometimes they are simply negative people telling you your dreams are absurd, other times they could be a relationship that has gone from casual misunderstanding to poisonous. When someone keeps bringing up the past in peaceful times, that person does not align with your center, and continuous references to the past draw you back, you need to stay focused. It could be letting go of someone who continues to hurt you, a relationship you have to genuinely admit is over and can only do you more harm than good. Sometimes because we are deeply in love with someone, we are unable to see objectively but if we are in love with our dreams just as much, we can find the strength to let go of an abusive relationship and then take hold of our dreams. This can be a wrenching and extremely painful process but one you will be thankful for in the end.

6.    Let bygones be bygones:

Regret is the most wasted human emotion.  It removes energy, leads you down the wrong path.

Hold no one to ransom. Have no place for hate in your hate, hate is a poison that kills you slowly and sucks you dry of joy and peace. Forgive the offender. Blame no one for your misfortunes. Forgive the past, and believe that people can be better than they are and that your circumstances can change if you remain consistent and don’t look back. Make amends and build bridges, embrace new opportunities to experience the best out of every circumstance and and every individual. Look straight ahead and careless about people or stuff whose association you may lose along the way, consider them to be weights, as you must travel light on this journey if you must reach your destination.

7.    Love what you’ve got while seeking what you love

Be thankful for today, embrace the gift that is today and have hope for tomorrow. Cherish the gift of time you have now, and the chances and circumstances that come your way to bring you closer to your dreams. Nurture your youth and your health while you have the chance, spend time with your loved ones, and continue to remain loyal and committed to your dreams. And when tomorrow comes, you will be more than ready to harvest its fully bloomed fruits and goodness.

8.    Take responsibility for your actions:

Nobody but you is responsible for your life. When you’re in the wrong, apologize with deep sincerity and whether or not the other person is appeased, choose to forgive yourself and move on. When you’ve made a mistake, accept that you made a wrong call and learn from your misfortunes. Be kind to people you meet along the way even though you may be having the worse of the days. Always speak a kind word or say nothing at all. If words don’t come easily for you, then try smiling, a smile speaks many languages and never goes wrong.  Avoid giving excuses, only say sorry or thank you. Avoid explanations, accept the rebuke with graciousness. Work hard, stay focused and be consistent. Be a giver, give of yourself and expect less in return; the law of giving says, the more you give of yourself without expecting anything in return, the more will come back to you from the most unexpected sources. Take no prisoners. Take your own risks, trust your instincts, don’t wait to be spoon fed with the ideas of others. Follow your path, tell your unique story with each day that unfolds and trust that your own experiences will lead you to your grande finale.

9.    Be patient:

Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not.  It just takes some time to connect all the dots. – Marc & Angel.

Patience is a great virtue that comes with a very great price. It means that sometimes you will chose to walk the distance and not hitch a ride because you know that walking will toughen your muscles. Other times it will mean you will go the full length, encountering bumps, potholes and ditches, bushes and dry patches instead of using the shortcuts because you know the end will justify the means. Also patience means, putting in the work, because if you don’t put it in, you are getting nothing out. You will do well to have patience, because patience always carries within itself great rewards that only reveal themselves in the end.

Nature  does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
– Lao Tzu

10.    Whatever happens, choose happiness

In your pursuit of happiness, you will suffer many trials, you will have bad days, and bad weather. You will encounter dead ends, and negative people. You will fail many times, you will make silly and embarrassing mistakes. You will let people down, your priorities will change, you will change as well. You will keep changing, it is the one thing that remains constant, every other thing shifts to conform to your transitions and as you move along, some people will go, others will stay, many will disappear, and a few new ones will show up. Sometimes you will not understand what you are feeling or what you are doing nor where you are going, whatever happens, remember to choose happiness. Whether you’re down, or your just living, at every moment and at every junction, choose happiness. Make no exchange for less, trade it for nothing. Stay thankful, stay grateful, stay hopeful and ultimately, stay happy.

 

Choose happiness