purpose

I’m happy with what I found…

 

5_n

Question is, are you happy with what you found?

Have you any clue what you are about?

Abuse is inevitable when the purpose of a being is unknown

The greatest tragedy in life is not death

But a life without purpose

I hope you find it

I hope you will be happy with what you find

Your life…whose is it really?

Steve-Jobs-Quotes-on-Life

May I crave your indulgence a moment…

Take a few minutes to think about your life; who you are, what you do, where you’ve been, where you’re at now…

Can you sincerely say to yourself, “This is my life, and I am here now…its not there yet but it is ‘my’ life… one day at a time, and I am thankful…”

But if you can’t quite recognize who you are or where you are at…

Then perhaps the real question you should be asking yourself is… “Is this my life?” or “Where is my life?” “Which way did it go?” “Whose script have I been playing?” “Whose stage has this been all along?”

It is thin line between conformity and reality… you could be living out someone else’s script and have misunderstood it to be your reality.

It doesn’t have to be that way…

That is my revelation to you tonight >>

To tell you that, really!, seriously!, it doesn’t have to be that way…

 

A Pursuit of Purpose

Standing at the center of nowhere
With eyes on a target that only the mind can see
Sniffing out a lingering scent only the heart can smell
From a place the feet has never been yet the soul recognizes
A path never before traveled yet so familiar
I follow an intimate trail from my future
My senses, I find, are perfectly au courant with my trackway
Knowing where to turn and how not to swing
What bliss, even the dead-ends are a Godsend
Then the night comes, when physical sight fails me
Nevertheless, I am guarded along the path of purpose
Steadily and steadfastly, I listen for that still small voice

Does it really matter

I’m beginning to wonder about the things I expect
And all the many things I feel I deserve
How I regard them with high esteem
And then debase myself for their absence or delay
Then I read about great minds like Harriet Tubman, U.S. abolitionist
And I begin to wonder if all life is about are flimsy expectations
I ask myself if there is perhaps something different that I could do
To tilt my attention a little bit away from my selfish ambition
That maybe somehow I can allow my thoughts to be consumed by a worthy ideal
And if that happens, maybe my life will be different
Maybe the things I expect do not matter after all
Perhaps all this time I have only succeeded in losing myself in a lie
So I’m thinking about Harriet Tubman, about her bravery and her conquest
I’m thinking about the menacing risk she took and her unyielding faith
I’m thinking about the people she lead to safety following that underground railroad
And following direct messages from God,
I’m thinking about this brave heroine and I cannot help but wonder
If the superficial things that troubled me triggered her
I think that I know better than anyone what the answer is
So I’m thinking, does any of it really matter?

7 Reasons Why Work Is A Girl’s Most Important Companion Not The Man

People think at the end of the day that a man is the only answer [to fulfillment]. Actually a job is better for me. ― Princess Diana


I have a bone of contention. It is about young promising intelligent girls being eager for marriage before they even get a hang of what they are about. I think it is a big, big problem, and the consequences of this putting-the-cart-before-the-horse disease are enormous as they are poisonous and deadly.

I hear about many young women, who were once lovely innocent brides become devious wives because of this short-sightedness and miscalculation of purpose. I see others who have found themselves in marriages that became mirages overnight. I’ve seen young independent city-girls become frail, lost and confused wives.

Although a good number of marriages today have their roots solid in mutual understanding and reciprocal affirmations, there are a silent majority, in which the woman is on the receiving end of this misfortune. Where she is either deprived of work entirely, or is deprived of work that aligns with her purpose.

Below are 7 solid reasons why I believe that the first most important discovery the twenty-first century girl will ever make in her life is work and not a man.

1.    First and foremost never in human history has idleness ever being a good omen: I’ve heard of cases where a father protests the marriage of his young daughter soon after university because he feels she should enjoy her liberty a little longer in form of work or traveling before resigning herself completely to the duties of marriage. I think there is some sense in that. I know also that there are a few exceptions to the rule, but then again, this post isn’t for the exception. This post is for the girl who believes that when it comes to marriage, one can simply wing it, and that life goes on as normal, fair weather and all. And somehow expects that the man will give her what she wants. Well, that isn’t entirely true. If you are going to be happy in marriage, you will first have to be happy with work. Work gives you a sense of responsibility, improves your thinking faculties and above all keeps you busy. You are often likely to be found by your ideal man when you are busy than when you are idle. When you’re busy you have the liberty to choose and be certain of your choice because you’re not pressured. When you’re idle, you’re constantly pressured by wants and needs and your thoughts are usually one of escape other than a wise, well thought-out decision for the next level.

2.    Work that you love doing is one door away from work you were created to do: We were each created for a purpose and the earlier you discover what yours is the better and brighter your future — whether single or married. It is only when you realize that you are here for a reason that you begin to appreciate your life better. When you discover something you love, you soon begin to discover the greater potential that lies within your work and within yourself. You begin to see possibilities and life is a lot more exciting as you begin pursuing these possibilities. When you become appreciative of the life you have, you will seldom make silly mistakes like condescending to a relationship that doesn’t compliment you. The most exciting and successful relationships are usually founded on platforms of similarities where both partners enormously compliment each other mainly because they serve in the same field. Life is usually easier and sweeter when you discover a spouse in the line of duty so to speak. Allow yourself the liberty of discovering yourself first before you allow another human being into the equation. If you don not have a clue of what you are about why expect that your significant other would?

3.    When you begin to solve problems through your work, you increase your level of awareness, your worth and your relevance: Imagine that you begin to do very serious work as a youth, like running an NGO for instance. Such selfless work has tremendous spiral effect on your self-development as a person. I know a former schoolmate of mine who over 14 years ago, in her early 20s, began a health based NGO after her youth service. Today that NGO is recognized by respectable bodies such as the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, and has been a succor to several communities in Northern Nigeria. She is also happily married with kids and she’s still a part and parcel of the beautiful work she founded. You can have it both ways and be happy. Well, some people will say my friend is the exception; well in this case you can aim to be that exception, you can have it both ways; you can begin a booming career, get married and continue your booming career. Yes, it is possible. I really do not see the sense in throwing away passion, and the pursuit of purpose in the name of marriage. It has caused more hearts to break than it has mended or molded any. Our life essence flows from our ability to become channels of this essence and your work, your mission in life, is one of such channels. Wake up and live! The only reason why anyone would continue to nurture a dream even after they are married is because they believe that their lives is worth much more and that there is so much more to life than a mere status.

The thing women have yet to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it. Roseanne Barr

4.    When your life is stirred by purpose, you make better choices: From the moment you begin to appreciate life as a journey of purpose and a meaningful transition you will begin to make intelligent and wise decisions. You begin to think in terms of service, and on a longterm basis than on self-gratifying short-term pleasures. You will become wiser than your peers. Your heart is set on the future and the thought of marriage and starting a family begins to flow from a place of maturity other than a place of childlike fantasy. Your years of work and experience during or after school has helped to exercise your mental muscles and toughen your emotions so you do not have a fragile grip on reality.

5.    The contentment that comes from service that gives deep fulfillment also gives you self-confidence and self-assurance: Nothing entraps a girl more than being desperate to marry. Nine out of ten she ends up with the wrong guy. Anxiety is not the place to make any kind of decision, worse still marriage decisions. You need to be exceptionally or decidedly self-assured when you about to marry and begin a new life with your partner. Otherwise you will end up with a half-baked future and a routinely sad life. On the other hand, if you would rather not be desperate or insecure at the point when you make that life-time decision of choosing a partner, you must first find deep fulfillment in yourself. One way of achieving that is by finding contentment in your life through work and service that gives you deep fulfillment.

6.     Extremely positive and evolving work exposes you to learning and growth: The process of immersing one’s self in work is a transformational procession in its own. Work exposes you to new ideas, new possibilities and new challenges. These in turn cause you to explore your mind more by thinking a lot more and a lot deeper. You begin to discover possibilities about your capabilities that you never knew existed and this improves your self-esteem. A girl who is proud of herself is a girl who doesn’t need anybody’s approval to feel good about herself. And one way to begin to appreciate your amazing self is by standing up to solve more problems and being more relevant in your field of expertise. A simply vocation as being a school teacher who loves and understands children and is well versed in the subject she teaches her pupils can expose the young teacher to greater levels of growth within a year than she could ever have imagined. The key is to desire work that you love and to evolve with your work because work that is meaningful is never static, it is always in motion. The lessons you learn along the way, when you barely have responsibilities as choking as child rearing, will come handy when you finally decide to raise a family.

7.    Once you become self-assured and self-assertive of your purpose and invaluable potentials, you will inevitably attract suitors like yourself: There is a difference between being self-assured and self-assertiveness. The first is to be confident in your abilities or character, the latter is the confident and forceful expression of oneself, views and desires. When you become these two combined, you create around yourself a force field that attracts to you, your ideal man, who is equally confident in his skin and fearless about his confidence. It takes an insecure and fearful human being to impose upon another human being and constantly bully their right to live bravely. However, a person who is self-assured and self-assertive in his or her own skin will have no reason to want to control or put out the light of the other individual. That is the kind of man you deserve and to have such a man, you must become such a person. Like attract like.

There are probably a number of girls who do not consider work a serious piece of the puzzle that makes up our lives, you don’t have to agree with their school of thought. They probably think that purpose is secondary to finding the right suitor or getting settled, you don’t have to be one of them. You can be different. You can choose to see reason with the reasons listed above and become to take your life as a single girl a lot more serious. You can love work and do work you love because now you know it is only one door away from the life you were created to live.

Why is it men are permitted to be obsessed about their work, but women are only permitted to be obsessed about men? Barbara Streisand

barbra-streisand

Discover the woman you want to be and be that person with pride

People don’t want to see women doing things they don’t think women should do. Joan Jett

One of the best things that has happened in my little over 3 decades on earth is finding the courage to always walk away from something that no longer resonates with my core. It is my greatest strength. Many times I have heard people say to me, oh you are so spontaneous, but that is what makes me attractive, that is what makes me unique. That is where my beauty lies, right there in that messy spontaneity. Look out for my post, (coming soon on my blog) – “The Joys of Imperfection”.

So, yes, I have found strength, not once, not twice, in this flawed nature of mine called ‘spontaneous’. I find that my most beautiful creations have come from the bumping and bruising that occurred from suddenly stepping on the breaks and making a quick turnaround, exit, dash out whatever you choose to call it. And yes, my life has been the better for it. I am happier each day because I find myself growing into the woman I desire to be, brave, determined, focused, and creative, to mention a few of my most dearest pursuits.

I have been able, however tough or dreary, to find my own voice in the midst of the racket that is other people’s opinion, and I have thankfully, emerged right where I needed to be. At the very place that connects me to the next phase of my journey. These fragments of decisions made here and there, supposedly on the spur of the moment stages-of-my-life, make up the little things that I’m most grateful for today. The little things that have brought me most of my biggest rewards in my little over 3 decades on earth.

For this reason, the morale-boost of my musing today is, no matter what people may think you should be doing or think you shouldn’t be doing because they are convinced you don’t have what it takes or because they feel you should know better, remember this — the only person who can convince you into being awesome at whatever you have chosen to be is you. And since you cannot out perform your expectations of yourself, then be sure you have a good picture of what your definition of awesomeness is and begin to walk that belief.

I like being a woman, even in a man’s world.

After all, men can’t wear dresses,

but we can wear the pants. – Whitney Houston

The world is filled with all kinds of wonders in display, every opportunity you encounter is your canvass and you are the artist while your perception about life and its issues are the colors you have to work with. Whatever ensues is up to you, a portrait, or landscape, in oil paint or pastel, painted with brush or palette-knife, whatever medium you choose, remember that the outcome is up to you. It’s all about perspective. You can have joy in your pursuit of purpose, that is if you can find it, however bumpy it turns out or you can be depressed and allow your life to be influenced by stereotypes and old wive’s tales.

We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean.

But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. – Mother Teresa

If you don’t know what to do with your life, start by first appreciating what it is you got. As simple as that sounds, it can be difficult because most times we are preoccupied with what others have that we don’t, what others have done while we are yet to find our path, muchless begin. If this is a daunting task for you to do, to appreciate what you have, so you can discover what you want out of life, that’s fine, you are not alone. We mostly are lost, and not sure where to begin to look for our reasons for gratitude, because we have begun believing the lie that others are better off than we can ever be.

Look at it this way, if you feel what you have isn’t good enough to be noticed, singled out and appreciated, and if you feel you need some motivation to nudge you into believing even the very least about your potential, then remember that your uniqueness is one thing that nobody else has and that is a magic that is yours alone. A magic that can make all the difference, if you harness it and bring it to the bigger picture where the rest of your world awaits your unique contribution. The unique contribution, that only you, has the power to unearth and claim.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams – Eleanor Roosevelt

There is beauty in your dream, beauty not mediocrity or folly or stupidity or any of the silly things you keep calling your aspirations in life. Begin to believe that there is something worthwhile in that lovely little head of yours and that in the midst of all your ramblings is pure unharnessed power and gracious beauty . Be kind to yourself and begin a journey of self-discovery, take a step or two back and look at your life. Take  a moment and look within your heart. Be brave and ask the scary question, “Is this the person I truly will like to be? Am I being that person I truly will love to be? When my days here on earth are over, will I be among the majority who sigh with deep regret and wished they lived their lives differently or will I be among the fulfilled few who will close their eyes solemnly with a quiet whisper, and yearn they had dared a little more than they lived?”

Which one would you be? Dare to live your life the hero and not the victim. Discover the woman you want to be and be that woman with pride and with purpose. You can start today, love what you have, so you can have what you want. Become the magic your world awaits. Be that difference.

Make a firm choice to choose differently, be the hero not the victim – Marc & Angel

Blackwidow

 

SUPER-DUPER “IT GIRL” OR LOST GIRL

A forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart – Ashley Lorenzana

You can be the super-duper ‘it girl’ and still be lost in your reality. How? Lets take a typical scenario. Say you’re a top model in the fashion industry with a gazillion runways and photo spreads to your portfolio. You are one of the successful minorities, with daily shoots and weekly traveling schedules, and a seasonal engagement with top fashion shows across the world. You have made your agent richer than he ever dreamed he would be in years. You are no longer the girl from the ghetto and your vocabulary has dramatically switched from local lingua to Ferragamo and Christian Louboutin. Your career is every girl’s dream because you make it seem so easy by gliding through your routines with such enviable grace. Seems like a perfect picture right? Yes it does but guess what?

 

Louboutin Stiletto

Louboutin Stiletto

 

Half the time, you are constantly self-motivating and gingering yourself to stay the haul. You get to work and you wish the hours would fly by so you can get back to where your day started, which is your cozy bed; So, to achieve that quicker and faster you switch to daydream and fantasy mode – hibernation mode. The place where you are happiest and calm, anywhere but what you are meant to do in the present. Anywhere but work. Your escape destination has become your favorite mind-travel destination. Do you love your job? Yes, but lately you’d rather not be dressing up and strutting the runway. Do you love the glamorous designer clothes? Yes, but you’d rather be in a jumper and sweats, having drinks with the girls all weekend. Do you love the shoes, bags and accessories that accrue to you courtesy your fab job? Yes, but somehow that’s been the only exciting things in your life for a very long time now, they’ve soon blurred into bore! That popular saying, “A million girls would kill for that job”, no longer thrills you and make your stomach tizzy. The joke that cracked everyone up is no longer funny; everyone is laughing his or her guts out but you. Maybe the joke is on you! You are in all the right places but for the wrong reasons. If this is your story then two things are correct; you are the ‘Super-duper it-girl’ and you are absent from your reality. Your repeated forced smile is a dire sign that something is dreadfully wrongly with everything. That picture isn’t good.

 

Ferragamo Shoe

Ferragamo

 

So what do you do, quit your job? Not really, at least not immediately. A job like this one comes with a lot of prospects, cherry and bubbly people, maybe happy, maybe optimistic. I guess it takes some dose of optimism and positivity and cheeriness to survive in an industry as tough and demanding as the fashion industry or any industry for that matter. Back to the question, what do you do? Let’s have a second look at that quote by Ashley Lorenzana.

 

Never try to do anything that is outside of who you are. A forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart, so recognize it when it happens. Living a lie will reduce you to one. – Ashley Lorenzana

Yeah the first line at the top was only a part of the original quote. Now with the complete text, what do you think you should do?

Here is what, I think I’d do if I found myself in situations where I am supposedly having a good time but can’t seem to drown the slightest nudge that implies I’m having a ‘not-so-bad’ time. Bad is bad! Whether it is the ‘not-so-bad’ or ‘not-as-bad’ type. I’ll begin first by asking myself, why do I feel a tad sad? Why do I feel very low after laughing so hard? Why is my heartbeat anxious at the thought of sunrise? ‘Why’ is always a good place to begin when seeking answers? What is the secret to my happiness? What gives me fulfillment; Status or purpose?

 

Ferragamo

Ferragamo

 

Sometimes awareness can be painful, especially when we judge ourselves so harshly by what we are becoming aware of in our lives. 

 

As the light begins to shine on you and you begin to find answers, try not to beat yourself up. Give yourself a hug and tell yourself, you are going to work this out and in doing so, you will surely find the strength to work out of limbo.

 

The words “I am” are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you. ~A.L. Kitselman

 

Avoid the temptation to say silly words like, ‘Gosh! How dumb have I been? The answers’ been staring me in the face all this time’, ‘If only I’d read this post before now’, ‘How could I have been so cowardly, and stupid?’ No, that’s unacceptable. Instead say to yourself, ‘Awesome, truly sewing gives me so much joy! I am going to reach out to all my top designer friends and begin my journey to stardom on a new path! Whoohoo! This feels real good!’   Say only what you want to become. You don’t want stupid and cowardly to come chasing you in broad day light like Freddie Kruger. Most certainly not, rather awesome, joy and victory cries will come after you to claim you.

 

 

Ferragamo

Ferragamo

Stay in the present moment

 

Finally, stay in the present moment. Be here, this moment and now, be fully aware and engaged with your thoughts, your actions and how you are evolving. Embrace the life that is your own. Choose the life that you want not the life that you need. There’s a difference.

louboutin