Take responsibility

IT IS THE TOUGH TIMES THAT MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING

Good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience, and the worst days give you the best lessons. – Mark & Angel


Your life is like a book that you author alone and though you do not control the unfolding events, you control your role in them.

There was a time in my life when everything I held on to for so long began to slip from my grip and I could do nothing about it.

It felt as though I was going to lose my mind and I would cry myself to sleep. Eventually I had to let is go and move on.

Moving on wasn’t easy but I did it anyway. During that course of time, I met many obstacles along the way, a few that beat me severely, I cried in the open.

Some others where subtle, hiding beneath masking that soon wore off and I had to detour yet again.

It is easier now to talk about this here because I overcame. If I’d given in, fallen on my face and never gotten back to my feet, there would be no story to tell.

No lessons learnt and no victories won. I can talk about it only because I pulled through. Because I never gave up. Because I never cursed my darkest days.

I know that life is dotted with tough experiences, and so whatever happens I have decided to be comforted by that part of my history where the clouds were once darkest and bleakest.

I have learnt also to laugh through the most bizarre of experiences. Sometimes things can get to worse to ridiculous and the only thing left to do would be to laugh.

I have also found fortitude in prayer; form conversing with God and sharing my despair and drawing strength at the same time as I travelled along on my journey.

One tool that has helped me to literally count my blessings are my journals. In them are several accounts of where I’ve been, what I’ve seen and how each event has turned out.

Each time I read through the pages I am more than grateful to God for being there, just like he promised that he would. To never leave me nor abandon me. To be with me through deep waters and through the fire. To protect me from drowning and from burning.

My lessons would remain strong footholds in my life. Lessons like holding on to dreams, choosing your friends carefully, saying no anything that no longer defines me, walking away from negative people and relationships, staying true to my calling, and trusting my intuition.

Life lessons are priceless. They can never be bought,not with silver or with gold. They can only be acquired through tough times.


Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds. Mark & Angel

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Every Seed Takes Time To Grow, So Do Your Goals

The best time to plant a tree is 20 years year ago… – Chinese proverb


 

Time is life’s determining factor. One thing that has killed many spirits and snuffed out many brightly lit and promising lives, is impatience, unreasonable thinking and fuzziness.

Have you ever written and sent a business proposal to a client and the reply delays in coming and then you begin to fidget and become restless, not sure what to expect, you begin to anticipate the worse of scenarios?

Do you find that you have the same attitude towards your goals? Say you have written down a few things you will like to achieve within the next 24 months; like change jobs, buy a car and move into a decent neighborhood.

You send out applications and go for interviews and in the midst of it all, you  get temperamental and high-strung. Cussing the companies that call you up for a chat or those who did but didn’t call you for the job.

If this is who you are when you expect results then you are rightly being impatient and unreasonable.

Think about the trees you see around and think about the gardeners who planted them. You think that there would be any trees at all if they cussed and dug out every seed they planted out of agitation?

Think a minute about the seed and listen to this; what do you think happens when a seed is planted? I am going to take my time to share some insight I learned about seeds and germination.

When a seed is planted, any type of seed; the first thing that happens is this; the seed first announces its potential to the universe and begins to attract unto itself what it needs for growth — water, sunlight, nutrients etc. It absorbs all of these, swells, splits up, cracks open and dies so that its inner energy can sprout, breakthrough the earth, push out the dirt and grow upward.

Depending on the seed type, the time frame for this underground phases usually differ. The seed type here is synonymous to your goals, long-term, short-term or mid-term, depending on what is at stake, because sometimes we are unreasonable with our timing and deadlines.

Brian Tracy says, there are no unreasonable goals, only unreasonable deadlines. Take a Baobab tree for example; it is very slow in growing. Yet when it  does, however, the tree reaches heights of 5 to 30 metres (16 to 98 ft) and trunk diameters of 7 to 11 metres (23 to 36 ft). Plus its trunk can hold up to 120,000 litres of water.

The growth pattern of the Baobab tree teaches us a lot about patience and the potency of acknowledging the time factor. If our goals and our dreams will become any good at all, we must learn to put in the work, one day at time, trusting that the potential of our seed will shoot out in exactly the right time.

You must however plant that seed first. Believe in your dream enough to have goals, written goals with stipulated time frames. If you don’t meet your deadline, set a new one. Revisit, re-examine, re-estimate, and keep tweaking till you find what works.

When you don’t meet up to deadlines, it is not a time to cuss and kill yourself with worry. Give it time. Trust that, all the applications and the interviews will all workout one way or another. One day, it will be exactly the right time for you and nothing will stop it.


 The best time to plant a tree is 20 years year ago, the second best time is now – Chinese proverb

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LIFE IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME

Change is inevitable but personal growth is a choice – Bob Proctor


I will like to share something about time and growth that I’ve come to appreciate very much. Let’s say you are a frequent visitor of this blog and overtime you read something new, you consciously take something away. Let’s assume that before now, you rarely gave much to thought to the choices you are making and or how you spend your time.

Let’s also assume that even though you have heard severally about goal setting you have never really seen any through and quite sincerely, have never truly had goals before.

Then you begin a journey toward a worthy ideal; you say to yourself, oh, I’m going to put these things I’m learning to the test. I am going to set a goal for myself, along side that, I will also begin to take my choices and decision making a lot more seriously. I will also begin to stay conscious of time and cherish my time more.

Next you get a journal and begin to write down your goals, you big idea, and basically begin to take account of your little victories. You begin to practice saying No to anyone or anything that doesn’t align with your you or your goal.

You also begin to take more risk like you’ve never attempted before, you attend those nerve-racking events where you are required to walk the room, make new acquaintances or talk about your business in the speed networking segment.

You take the leap and even though you are a nervous wreck inside, you put on your best smile and adorn your best colors, inside and outside. You slowly begin to grow a new circle of acquaintances, friends and business pals. You develop a new interest in books and self-development materials by gurus like John C. Maxwell & Brian Tracy.

Slowly but steadily you realize that many of your dreams which you once relegated as mere fantasies or have completely forgotten about begin to resurface in your mind. You are stirred up by a new enthusiasm. Your life has a new zip to it and you suddenly know what it is you want out of life and how you want to go about this new goal of yours.

The picture gets clearer and less blurrier by the day. You fill up one journal, then another. You find that your once very shy and introverted self has now become the life of every social gathering you find yourself. You find yourself taking the grand stage and carrying others along.

You are embracing your new intentions, to be focused and goal, to be clear in your choices, to take charge of your life, to appreciate and utilize your opportunities, to associate with people who grow you, to invest your time wisely and staying happy in spite of the odds.

Then one day, from the blue, you meet an old acquaintance and you guys have lunch, then she says to you, whoa, you are so different, I almost didn’t recognize you when I saw you, and now I can hardly believe you are the same person I’ve been talking  with all afternoon. You are different. There is something new and fresh about you.

The following week, your old acquaintance refers you to a top organization who in turn call you up for an interview for one of their top management positions. You go and you’re taken. You begin and your finance is transformed almost immediately. You take a look at your journal and you realize that you have not only exceeded a your 12 month goal in six months, you have also begun ticking off the 2 year goals.

You sit back and you wonder when and how you got there. You try to understand what it was you did differently, you reflect on the events of synchronicities and think to yourself that each of the steps you have taken weren’t exactly rocket science. Which is true; it only took a little shift of your mind and attention to make the huge difference.

It also didn’t happen overnight. You remember quite vividly it was about two birthdays ago that you made a true resolution to change your life and begin to apply the tips you read on my blog. You smile and decidedly concluded that they work after all. That one can begin to make a difference in their lives if they decided to.

You can tell just by looking at your life. You cannot explain how it happened, but you can tell for yourself that your life is different. That is the thing about time  I thought you should know.

Though this is only a theoretical example, you can decide that this could be your story. You can begin to take your life more seriously and apply the things you read here to your life. Start here, start now. Persistence + Consistency + Time = successful results.


 

  “The body grows slowly and steadily but the soul grows by leaps and bounds. It may come to its full stature in an hour.” ― L.M. Montgomery

Success is time

Rachel McAdams in movie – Morning Glory… One of my favs about believing in dreams!!

 

END THE BLAME GAME

Thinking is like loving and dying. Each of us must do it for himself.
– Josiah Royce

The moment you begin to realize that truly, truly, only you are responsible for the decisions you take and the choices you make, you will cease to assign blames. You will experience many unpleasant circumstances in life, many people will take you for a ride, people you trust will let you down.

Question is who do you become in all of it? What kind of thoughts do you allow in those dreary seasons of your life? What do you begin to secretly call yourself and the people who victimize you? What kind of picture do you begin to paint of the future?

What decisions do you take then and what would be the outcome of your choices? These are deep questions calling for deep thinking; speaking of which, thinking is a chore that only you can do for yourself.

The trouble with most people is that they think with their hopes or fears or wishes rather than with their minds. – Will Durant

You can reel out a long tape of how ‘A’ was a bitch and how ‘C’ got away with crap. You can write a notebook full of all your sore ordeals and sour deals and attribute an entire phase of your life to someone’s inconsistencies. The ball still will remain in your court, waiting for you to call the shot.

Its like falling in love; you meet someone, you like his persona, you find that he is smooth talking and easy going, he is intelligent and very responsible or whatever. You begin to grow fond of him, and in spite of what people say, you fall in love with him and you become his woman. Now whose fault is that?

Whose fault would it be if it doesn’t work out in the end or who would be responsible if it did work out? The dating site or the matchmaker? Yeah, they probably had a hand in it, but really whose decision was it to go along with it in the first place?

It is same thing with choosing your thoughts and deciding which thought would be the dominant one. Do you lean in to regret, hate yourself for being such a fool or do you decide that the situation doesn’t have to get worse than it already is?

Do you stir-up arguments and heat up the bitching to prove a point or do you choose to loose the debate in order to save what is most important to you. Do you choose defeat for friendship sake or do you choose victory and rip apart an alliance?

Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought. – John F. Kennedy

Your whole life is hinged upon the choices you make daily. It is your responsibility to make exactly the right choice for you. You can ask for opinions from others, seek their counsel and crave their indulgence or whatever. After all said and done, the onus is on you to choose exactly the path you will follow and the action you will take.

Just as much as loving and dying, thinking also must be done independently and solitary. It is like molding a piece of pottery, you have all the details in your head and ll the patterns that inspire the design. Yet it is your ability to take one thought at a time while you work on that clay and the wheel, that determines the final outcome.

Choose one thought at a time, take life one day at a time. Don’t be afraid to make those choices. Even when you go wrong, realize where you missed it and choose afresh. Keep trusting your intuition and your super-consciousness to help you with the correct choice every time. You will never learn how until you try.

Never be afraid to sit awhile and think. – Lorraine Hansberry

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FAILURE IS A FRIEND

FAIL FIRST, FAIL FAST, FAIL OFTEN – Paul Martinelli


If you are going to make it big, then you must make room for failure or you will be miserable. Failure is inevitable and unless you create room in your heart to embrace your failures, you will become disgruntled, bitter and a quitter.

Why do we fail? Simple, it is because we do not know better. When we fail, what happens; we learn. However that isn’t always the case, because not many people realize they have learnt a new genius. They allow the downside of failure keep them down. They do not realize that there is the upside to failure; which is the lesson learnt.

Whatever you learn every time you fail is your lift to success. It is your ticket to greatness and your  key to success. This means  you must fail if you must do any better than you currently are. This may be hard for you especially if you are used to winning. If for instance, you are an athlete who is used to winning all the time, and suddenly you fail, it doesn’t mean karma has caught up with you, it only means you have reached your threshold and need to step up your game. You need to stretch. Become a bigger star. Get a new tune. Create a better groove.

We fear failure majorly because it shows us our limits and we hate it because we love our routine and detest change. Change is good but hardly comfortable. That is why we love our comfort zones. It is natural. We don’t like to go out in the rain or get scorched in the sun, but a little of both gives us the opportunity to appreciate the better part of life.

Failure helps you see your deficiency and then inspires you to improve. At least that is what it is meant to do. We only stay defeated because we choose to be defeated by failure. Failure is hardly defeat, only a hard blow. You can take that blow, recover, and move on. Or you can take that blow, be offended and remain bitter. The choice is yours. A good friend will always tell you the truth and that is what failure does for us — it shows to us our weakness and our shortcomings. Quit your hard luck stories and start doing something to change it. Get better.

If you are going to be great, you will have to go beyond good. If you are going to be awesome, you will have to go beyond fabulous. If you are going to do the supernatural, you will have to get past natural and become super. If you are going to do wonders, you will have to step up from being a local champion and become the 8th wonder of the world. If you would be anything worthwhile in life, you must as a matter of fact, fail first, fail fast and fail often.

 

Try the extraordinary

 

 

 

WAKE UP AND LIVE

It’s not about attaining your dream, it’s growing stronger through the challenges of attaining your dream and who you become through that journey

Have you ever wondered why it is often said that you are your greatest opposition and your greatest enemy? Why it is strongly believed that the most important battles in life are the battles of the mind? Why no matter what happens unless you believe in yourself very little can come out of your seemingly great efforts? Why you are constantly asked to dress the part. It is because, even though you embody this great dream or idea, you are more important than the dream or goal or idea, whatever it may be.

Often times we put too much emphasis on what we want to get, what we want to achieve and then we neglect what is most important which is, getting there. We neglect that bridge that connects us from ‘here’ to ‘there’. We forget that our ‘here’ is of as much significance as our ‘there.’  We are swayed by fantasies of the glittering ‘there’ and in an attempt to achieve this great dream, we submerge ourselves in activities rather than in growth.

Think about a child, lets say your little niece for instance, who loves to micmic roles of an actress. Every time she performs an act you laugh and pat her back, and try to encourage her fantasies by buying her things that would keep her flames alive. Still you know within yourself that it takes a grown woman to be an actress. And no matter how much she tries as a child actress, she would have to be a full grown woman, schooled thoroughly in theater, to truly become an actress.

It takes a certain kind of person to become a certain kind of person. And it takes a certain kind of person to attain a certain kind of lifestyle, or achieve a certain kind of goal. If your dream is to double your income, and earn say $5,000 as monthly income, the most important question to you, shouldn’t be about struggling for a promotion or a getting a better paying job, rather it should be thus; “Who do I need to become to earn $5000?” Other than focusing on your results, you focus on the process.

The purpose of your goal is the journey. The purpose of the pursuit is the process.

Whenever you set a new goal in life, you automatically raise the standards you operate by. With your new goal, you say to yourself, this is who I intend to become. You realize that in order to reach your goal, you must become a certain type of person. This means your goal is high up there and you are down below here and in order to reach it you must stretch. That stretch is your process, your journey; that is what is most important.

Not the $5000. Not the house by the beach. Not the fat bank account. Not fame or popularity. Instead what happens between ‘here’ and ‘there’ and who you become. That is where the transformation takes place. The exchange; that is where the price is paid. That is where you negotiate. Multi-billion dollar babies do not become billion dollar babies only because hay had a big break. They became billion dollar babies because they changed… from who they were to who they needed to be to become multi-million dollar babies.

Isn’t it obvious that the biggest reason why we never talk about what we want to become in life is become we fear being scorned and laughed at? And why are we scorned and laughed at? Why do these mediocre minds, so to speak, look you over and laugh their hardest when you tell them how you are going to build the most magnificent structure ever known to man? Simple, it is because you do not look like the sort of person who builds magnificent architectural work, even though you seem one of the best in your class.

And it isn’t so much about your appearance but your aura, your general comportment. They look at your entire make-up and they think to themselves, she must be dreaming. That is why you have to prove them wrong. And you can only do that by changing, growing, and becoming that outstanding architect. You focus more on becoming than on attaining. Allowing yourself to be totally consumed by the result of your goal can be gruesome and frustrating because you work your ass off and rake in very little rewards. Instead, you focus on becoming this awe-struck personality who achieves thus and thus a goal. That way you find that rather than fuss, you glide through your process.

We’ll never get it all done; we’ll never get it all “right”. It’s here for us to enjoy the process.

Having raised the standards in your life, you created the space you’ll need to stretch so you can reach your goal, as you stretch you change, don’t forget to enjoy the process. Don’t get too carried away working to be the part, that you forget to dress the part. That is the fun part, the dress rehearsal so to speak. When kids do make-believe, they do it with delight and with deep satisfaction. It is in that deep satisfaction that you stretch. That is where growth takes place. In the spaces where you enjoy with deep satisfaction, the little details that add up along the way.

Yes you may have to attend seminars or conferences where people who have achieved your desired milestone are found, attempt what they have done, and do what they did but far above it all is loving it while you do it. Live throughout the process don’t sleep through it and hope to suddenly wake up at the other side. You will be sorely surprised.

In this journey, you must stay awake, alive, animated. If you have to return to school, do it with fervor. If you must take a course or go on a trip to immense yourself in certain cultures or learn a new language, do it with enthusiasm and eager expectation. If you must change jobs, as you go through the process of sending out your resumes to different employers, let it be an adventure and not some boring obligation.

Who am I becoming in all of this?

Who are you becoming? Big question. Are you happier, more grateful and hopeful or are you frequently depressed, complaining, and negative every step of the way. Remember, that everything is everything; the way you do one thing is the way you will do another and consequently, who you are becoming determines the prize. You are either becoming the strong athlete who runs for the prize or you are the grumpy trainee who never makes it to the big game in the first place.

A cheerful heart and a cheerful attitude will get you to your destination faster and happier while ingratitude, complaints, blame and a disgruntled attitude will bring you disappointments, rejections and hard luck stories. What you need is a high dose of positivity and positive expectations, so that no matter how many times you fail, you know failure contributes more to your growth than anything else in the world.

Wake up and live. Be excited about your transformation and your change. Your ‘there’ is only a a few ‘heres‘ away. Enjoy this now, enjoy this moment, be grateful for today, embrace your growth. And trust me, by the time you get ‘there’ hardly will any of those laughing jackasses accept that what they see is true. They will see that you made it, and that you have become this shinning star and they will not recognize you. It is because you have grown. You have changed. You are now the sort of person who does great and amazing things.

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SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LOOK AWAY TO STAY FOCUSED

STAY HUNGRY. STAY FOOLISH – Steve Jobs


I made a major shift recently in my life that probably confused a handful of people and a few of my friends. I realized that I was constantly stressed, repeatedly drained and overly busy doing a lot of stuff in pursuit of my goals. I was stretched in so many directions trying to build my PR business, grow my clientele, and pursue my passion as a writer at the same time.

My emotions were stretched thin and so was my perseverance, especially because living a city like Lagos, (the busiest, craziest and the most insanely bustling city in Nigeria) you are forced to contend with many oppositions; its dynamic and infuriated demography, the mad rush and the endemic competitive residents. It can be crazy. It is crazy. And commuting within the city was one of my most dreaded ventures. It was hostile and it sucked out the very life out of you.

I knew I needed to take a break, a breather, something, anything to transfuse the life back into me. So I made major decisions, I dropped everything as in everything. And disappeared. LOL. Yeah, that was what I did. I had to find my Mojo, get back my zip and my tang. I had to revive those dead cells, regenerate the very tissues that gave me my uniqueness, so I did what only me was known to do at the very odd times and the very unexpected moments. I shifted.

My friends thought, “Oh dear, here she goes again.” My new acquaintances thought, “What the hell is wrong with her, is she okay?” My family members, didn’t understand it but supported me all the same. They give me that look that says, “hey babe, we don’t know what the hell you’re about right now but we can tell its going to be gorgeous.”

Before I dropped everything and disappeared, everything weirdly, seemed to be working out. I’d just closed two fabulous deals that seemed like the bomb. They were the bomb. And the clients were nothing short of extraordinary, breathtaking and awesome. They were the kind of people you wanted to spend your lunch time with everyday and in every way. Two stunning and spectacular female entrepreneurs who called the shots in their fields.

Still I dropped it all and disappeared. Why? Something wasn’t right. Something wasn’t in place. Everything wasn’t in place even though everything seemed to workout. I wasn’t in place. I was out of focus. And if you’re into filmmaking, you’ll know that isn’t right. I’m the movie star here. I’m the protagonist. I’m the life of the party. Why should I be out of focus, be the blur? I was off balance. I was tilting to the edge, about to fall off.

That certainly wasn’t right. So in order to get it all back together, to stand still, erect and solid, I had to take my eyes off the chaos in spite of the spotted fabulosity. I had to look away to set my eyes on what was most important and most crucial — me. I had to get back to center. Take my eyes off the exterior and place it on the interior.

Oh, and its been amazing. My muscles are healing, stretching and growing. And this blog happens to be the first fruits of that transformation. I have found my voice and I am building my tribe. It is so easy and insanely fulfilling, I can hardly contain myself. I mean I am so in touch with my inner self, and alive like never before, I am awed by my own growth.

My coach always told me that the inner growth was the most crucial and the most important. Everything else springs from your inner growth. She gave an illustration with workouts; when you workout, you are advised to do it every other day because the space in between is when your muscles heal and grow. Growth happens in silence and quite. You only have to believe, and find the courage to take your eyes off whats weighing you to find what will reenergize you.

It’s never easy to leave the familiar and chase after the unknown. It is perhaps the scariest thing you will ever do. Yet it promises to be good — in the long run. That is where staying focused comes in. Once you find your center, stay on it. Once you find what you love, stay with it. Once you find your silence, never comprise it. Once you take your eyes off the distracting exterior, keep your eyes on your internal core. Let everything else flow from your epicenter.

Stay on that goal, water that seed, and keep watering it, never mind that the shoots take forever to sprout. The seed itself needs to draw from the earth, its nutrients, the sunlight, and the water you give it and these take a significant amount of time. Your seed needs sometime to announce its potential to the universe in order to draw just what it needs for its development, and trust me that doesn’t happen in one day, or one month. It could take years. (More about the seed soon)

So, like my role model, Steve Jobs said, stay foolish — disappear if you have to but find your Mojo, stay hungry — keep chasing after the unknown. You can hardly go wrong. You cannot connect the dots now, I hardly can myself. Still, I’m certain that in a few years from now, I would be most grateful to God, that I made that shift when I did. Stay foolish — you will be misunderstood sometimes, but stay focused. Welcome to August!

Desert girl

 

5 DISCOVERIES YOU WILL MAKE ON YOUR LIFE’S JOURNEY


A hero is born among a hundred, a wise man is found among a thousand, but an accomplished one might not be found even among a hundred thousand men. – Plato


1. There is always an extra mile, an extra push

Never think for once in your life that being mediocre has got its advantages. Maybe it does. In that case you will live a quiet meaningless life with not a single bother. You will spend most of your days a spectator, hardly a commentator because that would require a ginormous dose of gusto. But of course that isn’t in your plan. You may be thinking though, that well I am not Oprah, I cannot stand before a crowd and speak. Who says that’s what being a hero is all about? Who says it’s about trying to be someone else? Heroism is found within us. We become heroes when we realize that we matter in the world and in our own little way begin to make that impression on every soul we meet. We spread our pixie dust everywhere we go, we lift a dark cloud and leave behind some laughter, a soft touch, a big hug. We become wise when we embrace the joy of living with zest and with a niggling compulsion to be the soprano in every day’s symphony. This is a fact of life, that heroes and the wise can be spotted among a thousand. But the one who has gone the extra mile to hone her skills, and harness her innate power, is so hard to find. And isn’t it so, that the nurse in the small clinic downtown is known by her patients as one-in-a-million. And the teacher in the local school with broken windows, will always remain the favorite and most loved by her poor pupils, she is to them more than gold, a one-of-a-kind. And the single mum whose kids at Christmas would always inscribe in the card greatest-mum-ever. What is your purpose, what is your reason for being, what is your high calling? Is it to merely drift through life and bob at every opinion that wings its way through the air? Is it to be uninspired neither by sunshine or by rain? Is it to exude a lackluster vibe and be hidden from the stars above? Can you begin to discover the beauty muddled in disorder and find peace in chaos? Can you begin to make sense of your dilemmas? Can you find within you the courage, to piece together an image worthy of praise, with the fragments from your misfortune? Can you become a one-of-a-kind? Will you go that extra mile and be the one in one hundred thousand? Not the spectator.


You will learn as you get older, that the rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms and never, ever apologize for it. Mandy Hale


2. Rules are meant to be broken

Be unstoppable. Be brave. Be bold. As you evolve and your muscles toughen, you will begin to appreciate your journey more and love yourself even better. At every milestone you will realize how much you have grown, how much you have learnt and how lonely you have sojourned. You realize that indeed you have taken the road less traveled and even though it hasn’t been easy it’s been worth it. You have chosen the path that is uniquely yours and uniquely you. You have overcome the urge to trim off the very shoots that give you zing. You have embraced your quirkiness and in it you have discovered your greatest potential and now with it you will impact the world with wonder. But first you must travel this road, this rarely beaten path where the rules that exist are the ones you have chosen and designed, suitable for you and tolerable only by your quirkiness. You will learn this fact of life, first to be the unbearable pain and fear of being estranged, then later as an incredible reward; the joys of imperfections and the beauty of idiosyncrasies.


You will find your voice in so many places, it doesn’t mean you are insane, it only means that deep down, you recognize who you are and soon you will become at peace with that image. It means you are growing and are mastering your rhythm


3. You must make the effort to find yourself first, then everything else follows

As you journey through life you will see many wonders and creations that make you dance within. A line of thought, a song, a whisper. When you hear them, your heart leaps. In your search for yourself and what you love, you will meet many people, different origins and with different values yet something inside of them is recognizable to you. Something they say or do is familiar, like a faint memory, something in the way they interpret the world, aligns with something deep inside of you. In the myriad of hues, you find and choose the textures and patterns that are uniquely you and reflect your deepest desires. In the cacophony of tunes, you can single out the notes and tempos that resonate with you. In the midst of the dissonance, you find melody that only you can relate to the world. And within a jungle of views and values, from little pieces collected over time, you find rhythm, in it all there is concordance. As the puzzle assembles together, you begin to find yourself, your image is clearer, your voice is fine-tuned and your identity is certain. You have become a true citizen of the world. You have mastered your rhythm, now you can sing your song with audaciousness and grace. You have taken your place in the world.


You will learn that true love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion but on the contrary, an element calm and deep. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. – Ellen G. White


4. Your perspective about love will continue to evolve

A woman will discover love in the most awkward place, in the most unusual person, at the most unexpected time, and in the most defining moments of her life. If her life weren’t a defining moment at the time of falling in love, then finding love at the time, would certainly give it some definiteness. She would experience love in many colors, and many shades. At some point it is a roaring fire, some other time it is a ravaging beast, for some it is like the wind, never knowing where it is going or where it is coming from. For many it is a wild fire, it comes and licks up every ounce of their being. Life is saturated with tragedies and fairytale endings alike, where some have lost their senses, others have made sense of their lives, where some lose their reasoning, others found their paradise. Love is many things to different people, and overtime the wise ones among us have come to the conclusion that our perception of love is probably the last thing on the list. And time and again we will discover as we journey along, that love can be calm, and deep, like still waters running through rocky crevices. That it does after all, have eyes that can see, and it looks beyond the externals to discover emotions, gestures, motives and sensibilities within the person that is about to become lover or foe. True love is a mystery yet. One that will continually awe us for as long as the human race exists.

 


You won’t always get where you intended to go in life, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be. – Marc & Angel


5. You won’t always arrive where you intended, but it would be just fine

If truly this is a journey, then in your hands are a map, and a compass, telling you what turn to take and what bridge to follow. Your destination is new to you, you have never been there before but with the map, you know just how to get there, so you prepare and you begin your journey. You have a picture in your mind’s eye of what this utopia will look like, you have painted one and possible etched it unto a board you carry with you as you journey. You follow the trail as directed by your map, you take each day at a time, you encounter all kinds of hazards and eventualities on the road, you meet a few other travelers, you exchange values and notes. You are making progress, you are persistent, and after what seems like a gazillion miles, you arrive at a certain city, bustling with so much exuberance and the people  there bounced with enthusiasm and optimism. You thought to yourself that perhaps you would camp there a while and then get on your journey, then you realized how you loved this place, somehow everything seemed fine and perfect and in place. You fit in like a cut out rock in the temple walls in Jerusalem. You thought that perhaps, it wouldn’t be so bad after all if you chose to call this place home and then like a Christmas miracle, you are told not to worry your little head over nothing. You discover that this place that you have grown to love is apparently the only existing city along this route. And  that though it can be spotted on the map it certainly isn’t on ground. Far from disappointed, you are overwhelmed with joy, that even though it isn’t like you painted it, you are happy just being there. These sort of adventures will happen many times throughout your life journey. You will have plans like school, canning your masters or your PHD, then somewhere in between, you fall crazily in love, get married and have a set of twins. You set goals to start a business, then a prospective client turns out to be a fantastic boss, you’re hired by the big guns and now you live and work abroad. It wasn’t what you intended but it fits like a glove, you are happy, satisfied, and moving along your course with contentment and joy.

Mysteries

12 Secrets Game Changers Have in Common

I will do the work, it won’t be easy, it will be worthwhile

1. They are early risers
Love and cherish your mornings. There is something deep and spiritual about honoring your mornings with some reverence, like getting out of bed early enough and having some quiet all by yourself. It helps you begin your day on a fresh slate, knowing that every new day bears its possibilities as well as its challenges. You gain clarity, you set your priorities straight knowing there is only so much you can do in one day. Above all you drink in a blessing that is new, fresh, never before seen or heard or experienced, the blessing that is a new day, created for you to decorate and garnish as you so please. Ask any successful person you know and they will tell you that there is infinite power in honoring your sunrise. By rising early and quiet, with a clear mind, and a steady spirit intentionally free of worries, you are saying to the universe, “Here I am, ready yet again, to bring in a great harvest!”

2. They allow their angels to sing
Have you ever wondered why it seems like wealthy successful people have no worries? It is because they have mastered the art of giving the spotlight to their angels rather than their demons. We each have within us two voices telling us what we must do, the one you give prominence takes preeminence and that voice soon molds your personality. Do you lean more into your problems or do you lean more into your possibilities? This is not an easy thing to do especially when nothing seems to be going as planned. However it is one of the greatest strengths of game changers. When they have an idea, they plant it in their hearts and water it daily, never minding how long it takes for it to sprout. They are patient, they allow their angels sing to them with all kinds of sweet melodies, of hope, of positive eventualities, and songs about miracles, and impossibilities becoming possible. It is how Edison got through 1,000 mistakes without quitting. He did not allow his failures to trap his mind in limbo. He let his angels sing.

3. They are willing to wrestle their demons
Letting your angels sing isn’t exactly a joy ride. You are going to have demons in pursuit, your demons. Life is about an ongoing conflict between two masters, they go by different names in different circumstances. Light and darkness, truth and lies, positive thoughts and negative thoughts. In this case, they are called, angels and demons. It is a battle, a struggle, a tale of two cities. Be willing to wrestle your demons, only never give in. That is what keeps the tough going — tough times. And they are temporary, after a while your demons drawback, to fight another day. So be persistent, never let them overpower you, if you keep it up long enough, they soon mellow and bow to the stronger force — your never relenting singing angels. One way to keep your angels a gazillion steps ahead of your demons is by maintaining ‘number one’ — the early morning ritual. Angels love the lucidity of early dawns, it gives lift to their voices with their sopranos piercing through any obstacle and cracking it into bits and pieces, making room for you to spread your wings, creating new paths for you to explore, breaking new grounds for you to conquer. Never give in. Your demons are not as strong as they seem to be.

4. They hope afresh each morning

There is no greater destination in life than to have an endlessly changing horizon — for each day to have a new and different sun. — Marc & Angel

Hope keeps soul alive. Hope is food to the gladiator fighting to stay alive because he believes one day, if he pleases the crowd long enough, he might win his freedom. Have you ever been awed by a gladiators performance? The cheering crowd and the quivering coliseum are a sign that one day he could be free so in spite of the humiliation of being a pet project and a prisoner, he chooses to stay alive, all in hope of leaving the dungeon forever. A hopeless life is a meaningless life, with no pursuits, no aspirations, no pulse, only breath. One must always dream. Even when your goal falls through the cracks, derive another. Even when your treasure map goes into flames, awaken your instincts, let you intuition take over and see what surprises await you. Never wake up and just let things be, instead wake up and be awesome. Wake up and be gorgeous. Wake up and act as though it is christmas and there are tons of presents beneath the tree with your name inscribed on each.

5. They do something everyday to propel them towards their goal
Another way to put this is, they are not wishful thinkers. They are not day dreaming and snoring their way through life, cuddling their pillow and slurring about silly visions. They are real. They wake up and they pick up the axe, the pan, the golf stick, whatever it is they do for a living. They get to work. They put in another mile and then a mile extra. They give to each day, some sweat and some tears, then they put in more sweat and more tears. They keep going in this manner, day in day out, with their eyes on the big picture. They have a desired goal in mind. It is called a harvest. And we all know that harvests don’t drop from the sky, they are brought in by men who quite simply, go to work, and get their hands dirty. If Edison had 1,000 failures, it tells you how persistent he was day in, day out, trying something new in the direction of his goal and even though it seemed like he kept failing, each failure, being a result of action, only brought him closer to his eureka.

6. They recognize that the world needs them and they act accordingly

You are enormously significant. – You are one person out of seven billion people, on one planet out of eight, in one star system out of a hundred billion, in one galaxy out of another hundred billion.  And you are enormously significant! – Marc & Angel

If you’re going to be a game changer, then you must have a big ego, you must truly believe that you’re something to even think you can make a difference in your world. And that’s always a good to place to begin. Believing that you can be anything you choose to be and at any time or place or time. Its up to you. There are no special people only everyday people who have taken the courage to scribble the word special before their names. The minute you begin to realize that indeed you are special, you will move mountains, literally. Your mind opens up to all kinds of possibilities because you suddenly believe you can fly. And since you are special, it means there is something unique about you of which the world can benefit. Having this awareness will cause you to cherish your gifts and your talents, and it will make you want to invest precious time in developing these talents, so that your service is impeccable and memorable for all time.

7. They are genuinely concerned about the people they serve
It is not about you. Yes, you may get pretty comfortable in the end but this whole business isn’t all about you. It is for the greater good. For the good of mankind. Ever heard people say, that the fastest way to make money is to create better solutions for everyday problems. Little wonder food always sells, and power, and internet services in 3rd world countries, and mobile devices. Your rare talents are indeed gifts. They are what make you special and stand out in the world. They are what make you shine. They give you your luster among the stars. Gifts however are meant to be shared and not meant for you to keep away, or stored up to be eaten by moth. Successful people are genuinely concerned about their customers, audiences, subscribers and patrons. It’s always been about people and it always will. Keep improving. Keep seeking new ways to provide better solutions to the people you serve and do it with soul. Greed can only take you so far, but selflessness will continue to payoff long after you’ve left the scene.

8. They Maximize every second spent
Every second pays off. Game changers do not waste time. I read something recently, something that made me laugh silly and feel terribly sorry for myself at the same time. It said, “Ever wondered why you never see a commercial on Lamborghini cars? It’s because the people who can afford them are not sitting around watching TV.” In a generation only a few tabs away from going completely berserk with invention and creation, especially the invention and creation of entertainment, this may be a hard pill to swallow. However, there are people who have made significant impact in our world and they take their time seriously so that no second is unaccounted for, even when they play. This is going to shock you; would you believe, if I told you that the great Oprah Winfrey  never watches TV? Well she doesn’t. Google it! If the great TV content guru isn’t sitting around watching TV, then some of us have a long way to go. Then again it goes to say, that it must take some very serious commitment to ‘number 5’ for anyone to eliminate TV time. Also realize that anything that sucks up your attention and energy, like TV, is only sabotaging a significant amount of your precious 24 hours. I’m personally putting into practice the habit of placing my ‘number 5’ before any lousy indulgence.

9. They stay focused
Distractions can become a spice of life and less of a pain in the ass when you master how to hold the image of your big picture. Its like playing cards, you may deal a ton of cards and be dealt another ton in return but you never lose sight of your Aces. They are your game changers. Or like playing chess; ever watched two pros play chess before, the concentration is intense and the moves are few but intentional and deliberate. Whatever happens, your king must be kept safe from the opponent. Life can be likened to chess, your attention is your most treasured weapon. Let nothing but your target get your precious attention. Remember also, that energy flows where attention goes. Your attention is meant for making milestones and hitting a bull’s-eye. Be sure to have your focus stayed on your target at all times.

10. They make a mental note of every season in their lives
Game changers in someway, are historians. As part of their journey, they keep records, detailing every milestone that made a difference in their lives. They keep a notebook, a diary or a journal of some sort where they write down their big ideas, as well as their hopes and their conquests through life. We are able to read about the beautiful story of Anne Frank today because of the journal she kept during the war. Write down your goals, note down your mistakes, blunders and your genius discoveries. You don’t have to be a writer to keep a journal, and journals aren’t solely for heartbreaks and vendettas either. They are a place for storing your thoughts, your memories, your growth as you evolve through time. See it as a means for storing up delightful and adventurous stories of your life for the days ahead, like a road map. As a matter of fact, the journal benefits you the writer more than anyone else, because it serves as a compass for you on the days you feel lost or after you’ve taken a blow in major crises. Our experiences and our victories become to us a light and a compass when sometimes we find ourselves in the great maze of uncertainties.

11. They travel light
I first learned what it meant to travel light from my dad, rest his soul. He always placed emphasis on taking only what was needed for a trip. Likewise, on the journey that is the most important to you — the journey of your life — traveling light is essentially key. You will need your compass; your intuition, you will need your dose of inspiration, self-motivation and self-confidence among others, you will need your attention, your morning ritual, your singing angels, some soul and of course your blue print; the big picture. Anything else aside from these will be extra luggage, like guilt, regret, hate, self-pity, greed, arrogance, fear of the unknown to mention a few. Take your essentials, everything else is pretty much immaterial. Keep all your concerns to the minimal, even in your physical environment, make conscious effort to take out what’s in the way of your progress and your intentions. Too many junk at home have been proven to mentally clutter our minds with unwanted baggage. Free your living spaces and free your thought processes then welcome new horizons. There is too much good ahead to risk staying stuck in a hodgepodge of antiques.

12. They are night owls
I once read a romantic line that said, “Love, like a good cup of coffee, keeps you awake all night.” True that. If you have ever been in love, you will agree. Falling in love can be so consuming and enthralling, you lose count of time, musing, reminiscing, fantasizing, and desiring oneness. You are carried away writing poems and love letters or snuggled up in bed with your phone to your ears. It is the same with having dreams, a big idea or a goal. It feels like being high on something and you cannot sleep at night until you can place your actions on the same page with your blueprint. Until you can efficiently communicate your message to your audience. Until you have gotten it right for one day. Until you are fully satisfied, however vaguely, that you’ve had a connection with your one true love. You remain wide eyed long after everyone goes to bed and you are up first, long before the break of day. That’s the power of love. It goes to say, that one must fall in love with their dream. Sweet love that intoxicates the mind and drives the soul beyond the lengths until your image transmutes from a mere thought into tangible substance.

O_Magazine_cover

 

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right

Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you are right – Henry Ford

There is really no over emphasizing the fact that you are what you think about. If you are the kind that keeps saying to herself, ‘”people like us are not as lucky… ” or  “I know myself, if I try it, it won’t work… ” Oh, it wont work all right. Take a look at your life, and if you are sincere with yourself, you will see that everything you see is exactly as you have expected it to be.  Are you familiar with the phrase, “Didn’t I say so?” or ” what did I say before we got here?” or “I told you we would be asked to leave… ” And truly, you were spotted and bounced at the party like search dogs would sniff out cocaine.

Perhaps that  would serve as a perfect illustration for how our thoughts play out and how our outcomes sniff us out and take hold of us, just like the search dog. When you think you can’t, automatically, every difficulty known to man haunts you down and overwhelms you till you quit. When you think you can, no obstacle is big enough to stop you and each time, opportunity will sniff you out to help you to the next leave. So whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you attract the equivalent.

Its like throwing a soccer ball into the air and expecting a basket ball to drop back into your hands. Nope, that’s not the way it works, you get back what you put in and with cascading effects. The power of thought is so potent that a simple thought can have enormous impact on your life. A thought as simple as “I’m a failure” said with deep emotions of regret and heavy with disappointment, can attract to you a series of life events that shake you so hard, you are at the brink of losing your mind.

On the other hand, a thought as simple as “I’m the best” emotionalized during a very high season of your life will attract to you tons of happy outcomes, happening in sequence as though a door of fortune was opened unto you. Our emotions bear enormous power, they charge our thoughts with the equivalent energy it needs to produce results. They are like the honey to bees, like fireflies to light. Be careful what you think you are, especially at times when you are lowest in spirit. Don’t call to yourself anything you won’t be pleased to live with. Like dumb, stupid, failure, loser.

It is not our feelings that create our thoughts, its our thoughts that create our feelings. If you fell and hit your knee hard against a rough surface and it bled, during the scramble to get your car keys, and be on your way to pick up a check of a hundred thousand (choose your currency), would you suddenly slump and begin to cry “boohoo, I hurt my knee, Look its bleeding. Please don’t speak to me about any stupid check, I’m in a low state right now, my feelings are hurt… ” Of course not, you will spring back  to your feet and race for that check, cash it and bank it, and chances are you would have gone through the entire day before you realized that you hurt your knee when you fell.

Why didn’t you get sad and depressed when you fell? It’s because your thoughts were happy and jubilant thoughts, you’d just won a jack pot. Now imagine the opposite, imagine you get a mail, that you were being queried and that your job was on the line, and that you were needed at an executive meeting to explain yourself, and out of anxiety you race for your keys, and in the process you miss a step and tumble down the stairs and hurt your ankle. What will be your reaction? Easy isn’t it, you will feel a lot of pain, you will swear and curse and of course cry and you will anticipate the worse of the current situation.

You will probably miss the said meeting especially if your car decides not to start and by the time you arrive, limping and looking miserable, it would be too late, the meeting would be over and your boss tells you how your attitude to issues is appalling and that the board has agreed to let you go.

Now these are two very peculiar situations likable to happen to anyone. And you are probably saying to yourself, well, shit happens and either of the two couldn’t have thought otherwise. Maybe yes, maybe not. Let’s look at the second scenario again, say, you hear the news and before reacting, like running to get your car keys and make it early to the meeting, say you take a breath and think of the whole situation for a moment, just a second, to pull yourself together. You say quite simply, “this can only get better” and then proceed to get the keys, even if you eventually fall and hurt your ankle, and your car wouldn’t start, and you make it late, and you lose the job all the same, I can bet that you would be in a better state of mind to face what’s ahead than the one who let fear take the center stage.

Whatever happens to us, at whatever stage in our lives, we have the power to control what we think and what we expect. We are indeed powerful beyond measure, if only we will take the time to gather our power together and begin to harness our thoughts, and like search dogs, order them to bring to us exactly what we want to see in our lives.

Most times however we are lazy and let anything and everything travel through our minds like an unguarded path, haunted every now and then by robbers, and thieves and buglers. Negative thinking is mostly the byproduct of lazy thinking. It doesn’t take anything to think negative, it is the easiest thing to do.

However thinking positive and expecting positive results in our lives, takes discipline to harness its power, with persistence and consistent commitment. If you forget everything you’ve read, remember this, whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.

Courage