day dreaming

To crave fulfillment

To embrace tomorrow

and the promises it holds

To truly become

To live for something

and truly make a living

To embrace life

and the best things are free

To love, to freely give

To lend a hand, to invoke a smile

To forgive, to put out a fire

To have a friend

and build bridges

To explore, to travel far and wide

To live and live life to its fullest

To do all of this and more…

is to live out of your fish bowl

Life’s good

It’s time to spread your wings…



Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it. – Groucho Marx

I find that so much, if not everything, is hinged upon the choices we make, the choices we have made and the choices we are going to make. Our lives will go in the direction of our thoughts, yes, just as our thoughts determine our decisions. So conversely, our lives will go in the direction of our choices.

So if you are wondering where your life has gone, check the choices you have been making. If you are looking at your life and are wondering, how did I get here, well, you did by way of your choices. Some people may want to chip in and say, but hey, ‘shit happens’, sometimes things never go the way you expect. True. Then what do you do with the space that exist between what happened and what you do next? That space is called ‘choice’.

When misfortune happens to us, our greatest power to change our fate, lies in the choice we make at the point of impact. Do we scream out loud and wail and pull at our hair and curse everyone we can blame for our misfortune or do we cry, nurse our wounds and with every step, try the best way we can to clean up our mess?

If by a silly mistake, which turns out to be a big bluff on our part, we lose something dare, a great opportunity, or a big break; do we beat ourselves up relentlessly until we bleed out with shame and self-hate? Or do we sit still for a single moment, take a deep breathe and ask ourselves the inevitable question — “How did I mess up so?”

Having big dreams and a dogged spirit is not enough to effectively live the life of our dreams. We must realize that a lot is dependent on our ability to choose. When we feel lost and then it turns out we have taken a wrong turn, do we murmur in defeat and stomp on in the wrong direction or do we bite our lip, turn around and begin the painful process of retracing our steps?

However painful your growth process, can you at least accept that this journey you are on, is the path to your dreams and that on this journey, you alone are the driver while your choices form the vehicle. You should also realize that before you can reach your plateau, make a conscious effort to remember that at every smooth turn and rough climb, at the point of defeat and at the place of conquest, you have the power to choose your life at every moment.

You choose your life at every turn and at every bump by deliberately choosing over and again your dreams, your values and your reason and purpose for being, no matter what happens; in both the good times and the bad times, you never forget the bigger picture — the picture of your summit, the place where the sky meets the earth.

You arrive at the place of effortless bounds, where you do not flap your wings in the struggle to rise above inhibitions, rather you spread them out and soar above the storms. We can either choose to live in the moment, conquer our fears and rise above all prejudice or we can choose to simply exist and allow anything and everything determine how we feel.

The choice is up to you. You can choose your life at every moment and be the best girl you can be no matter what happens or you can choose to react your way through life. What will you do with that space called choice?

Choose Your Life


A forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart – Ashley Lorenzana

You can be the super-duper ‘it girl’ and still be lost in your reality. How? Lets take a typical scenario. Say you’re a top model in the fashion industry with a gazillion runways and photo spreads to your portfolio. You are one of the successful minorities, with daily shoots and weekly traveling schedules, and a seasonal engagement with top fashion shows across the world. You have made your agent richer than he ever dreamed he would be in years. You are no longer the girl from the ghetto and your vocabulary has dramatically switched from local lingua to Ferragamo and Christian Louboutin. Your career is every girl’s dream because you make it seem so easy by gliding through your routines with such enviable grace. Seems like a perfect picture right? Yes it does but guess what?


Louboutin Stiletto

Louboutin Stiletto


Half the time, you are constantly self-motivating and gingering yourself to stay the haul. You get to work and you wish the hours would fly by so you can get back to where your day started, which is your cozy bed; So, to achieve that quicker and faster you switch to daydream and fantasy mode – hibernation mode. The place where you are happiest and calm, anywhere but what you are meant to do in the present. Anywhere but work. Your escape destination has become your favorite mind-travel destination. Do you love your job? Yes, but lately you’d rather not be dressing up and strutting the runway. Do you love the glamorous designer clothes? Yes, but you’d rather be in a jumper and sweats, having drinks with the girls all weekend. Do you love the shoes, bags and accessories that accrue to you courtesy your fab job? Yes, but somehow that’s been the only exciting things in your life for a very long time now, they’ve soon blurred into bore! That popular saying, “A million girls would kill for that job”, no longer thrills you and make your stomach tizzy. The joke that cracked everyone up is no longer funny; everyone is laughing his or her guts out but you. Maybe the joke is on you! You are in all the right places but for the wrong reasons. If this is your story then two things are correct; you are the ‘Super-duper it-girl’ and you are absent from your reality. Your repeated forced smile is a dire sign that something is dreadfully wrongly with everything. That picture isn’t good.


Ferragamo Shoe



So what do you do, quit your job? Not really, at least not immediately. A job like this one comes with a lot of prospects, cherry and bubbly people, maybe happy, maybe optimistic. I guess it takes some dose of optimism and positivity and cheeriness to survive in an industry as tough and demanding as the fashion industry or any industry for that matter. Back to the question, what do you do? Let’s have a second look at that quote by Ashley Lorenzana.


Never try to do anything that is outside of who you are. A forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart, so recognize it when it happens. Living a lie will reduce you to one. – Ashley Lorenzana

Yeah the first line at the top was only a part of the original quote. Now with the complete text, what do you think you should do?

Here is what, I think I’d do if I found myself in situations where I am supposedly having a good time but can’t seem to drown the slightest nudge that implies I’m having a ‘not-so-bad’ time. Bad is bad! Whether it is the ‘not-so-bad’ or ‘not-as-bad’ type. I’ll begin first by asking myself, why do I feel a tad sad? Why do I feel very low after laughing so hard? Why is my heartbeat anxious at the thought of sunrise? ‘Why’ is always a good place to begin when seeking answers? What is the secret to my happiness? What gives me fulfillment; Status or purpose?





Sometimes awareness can be painful, especially when we judge ourselves so harshly by what we are becoming aware of in our lives. 


As the light begins to shine on you and you begin to find answers, try not to beat yourself up. Give yourself a hug and tell yourself, you are going to work this out and in doing so, you will surely find the strength to work out of limbo.


The words “I am” are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you. ~A.L. Kitselman


Avoid the temptation to say silly words like, ‘Gosh! How dumb have I been? The answers’ been staring me in the face all this time’, ‘If only I’d read this post before now’, ‘How could I have been so cowardly, and stupid?’ No, that’s unacceptable. Instead say to yourself, ‘Awesome, truly sewing gives me so much joy! I am going to reach out to all my top designer friends and begin my journey to stardom on a new path! Whoohoo! This feels real good!’   Say only what you want to become. You don’t want stupid and cowardly to come chasing you in broad day light like Freddie Kruger. Most certainly not, rather awesome, joy and victory cries will come after you to claim you.





Stay in the present moment


Finally, stay in the present moment. Be here, this moment and now, be fully aware and engaged with your thoughts, your actions and how you are evolving. Embrace the life that is your own. Choose the life that you want not the life that you need. There’s a difference.




And remember, no matter where you go, there you are – Confucius

If you’re going to attend the baby shower, don’t go there if you’re going to leave your spirit and soul in your up-side-down closet. Your friends can see you at the event, with your morphed smiles and monologues but your mind is at home, rummaging the overturned closet your body left behind. If you have decided to spend the weekend at your best friend’s so you can let your hair down and get some sleep, take time off from the crazy 9 to 5 routine, then do just that. Don’t be there in body while your mind is busy running through the folders on your computer, the one you left at your office desk Friday before! Stay in the present moment. You may be wondering what that means. It means simply, don’t be in one place in body whilst your mind goes on a cross-country cruise fixing all the issues you left behind at home, at the office, with the kids, with your ex etc. Do not live perpetually in the past and do not permanently daydream about the future. If that’s your reality then where have you stashed your today, at the Laundromat? You may have heard it said before; the mind exists in the present moment. You bring what is needed to every circumstance and situation of your life. You can either choose to bring light, and brighten the shadows cast by your past or you can escape your current reality by refusing to participate in what is here this moment and now. You can choose to engage in piecing the puzzle together and to find answers or you can give excuses why you can’t. You can choose to be present or absent. It’s up to you.


Get involved. You don’t want to look back on your life and realize that you successfully managed to stay out of it. – Robert Brault


Say you are sitting down on a bench in the park and watching this chain of events happen, one surreal event after another. A few hours later, what seemed like a few hours have actually been days and weeks and years. Then you realize, what a long walk in the park that was and all those events you sat watching gloomily and tiredly had actually been your life. Scary isn’t? Wouldn’t you be in such a frantic frenzy to find out at the end of your life that you successfully managed to stay out it? Have you ever heard the frequent saying, “You don’t want to wake up one day and realize…” Well that is what happens when you elude the nitty-gritty of your existence; when you are present in body but absent in thought. When you simply let things be and tell yourself, “Somehow, it all works out…” well… it certainly does work out, but what essentially happens is that, you are left out of the game and you never have the full detail of how you spent your generous amount of days. Your life is lived in fragments and shards. You become a sad sorely has-been.

Bring you

It would be really sad as much as scary to suddenly realize that everything you have done and everywhere you have been to wasn’t exactly done consciously, that you were perpetually influenced by someone or something or by the trends. What’s worse is if you can’t even remember why you did those things or why you chose to go to those places. You are completely oblivious to the reasons why you have been such and such a person. You have become the forgetful one among your peers. Never truly listening. Never truly there. You are here but always somewhere else at the same time. No one moment is entirely good enough for you. No one moment is entirely real. If you can relate to this, then it is time you begin to ask the real questions. Everyday when you wake up, try saying to yourself, “This is where I am right now in my life, and this is what I am going to make of it. I am going to be happy being here because I know I can and will make the best out of it. Although I may be here now, it is not where I hope to be, but I will be here anyway because it is only by being here fully that I can find the strength to get there timely and adequately.” It sounds like blabbing but if you give it a try it is sure better  than daydreaming your way through life, and it sure beats sulking away in regret of the mistakes of your past. Richard Templar said in ” The Rules of Life”: The past should be a doorway where you go through for only a few minutes not a room where you reside! Same goes to saying your fantasies should energize you to work towards achieving your dreams, not the other part of your bipolar residence. So the next time you are off to an event or thing, remember to take ‘you’ along. Spirit, soul, and body.


Up to a point, a man’s life is shaped by environment, heredity, and movements and changes in the world about him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, “This I am today; that I will be tomorrow.” ~Louis L’Amour


There comes a time when YOU, not me, not your mum or your aunt or your boyfriend but you have to come to that place where you grab the clay of your life out of the hands of whoever’s got it and become the potter of your life. Only you can shape it into what you wish, what you want and what you desire. Going to college or university isn’t going to do that for you. Neither are all the fine things in this world. Some of us got it backwards. We have the cart before the horse and we wonder why our life is torn in different directions. We do everything and anything but take responsibility for our actions and what we are becoming as a result. Its time to wake up! Stop being the on looker, or the apprentice, in the workshop that is meant to be your own life; it’s time to resume the prestigious duty of being the potter of your life. Take responsibility. Face your demons. Make those changes. Be fully engaged in the nuances of your days, a day at a time. Choose to bring the bubbly, vibrant energy you need into your everyday. Enjoy the richness of every moment, celebrate your little victories and see how gorgeous and encouraging it all turns out in the end.


Be the puppeteer of your life

Look at it this way; you are either the puppet or the puppeteer. If you are the puppet, then who, or what is puppeteering your life? That’s something to think about.