Successful people

Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

Writing and reading are collaborative acts in the making and performance of space-time. Readers participate; they become, partly, writers. The reader is its co-creator. – David Morley

Hi everyone! I’ve been nominated for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award by my one and only ‘Superfan’ 🙂 – Gypsyess, blogger at Wonder Of My Worlds. I only started this blog barely 3 months now so you can imagine my surprise and excitement to hear Stella say she nominated me for a world bloggers award. I was elated to say the least. Not only has her steady readership been a huge encouragement to me, it has also inspired me every time I’m about to write a new piece…I think about Stella and I say to myself, what freshness can I bring Stella’s way today? Or whenever I’m down and not feeling like my blogging is making any difference, I remember the generosity in her comments about how she is learning a lot from my musing.

If you are a writer, you would understand how these little drops here and there can make our stream gush and bubble. They are the only reason why we keep writing, because someone somewhere is feeding off our energy and is being illuminated from inside out because of our train of thought. There is no better reward for a writer.

So thank you Stella for taking the time to read, thank you for your generous comments, they hang like little medals on my computer desktop and my vision board. Thank you for your lavish and unselfish gesture of reblogging a few of my posts and thank you for nominating me for the Sisterhood of the Worlds Bloggers Award. You are just awesome! And that is an understatement. I hope that someday soon, the travel bug will cause our paths to cross. Oh, now that would be awesome!

Since I’m expected to nominate people as well, here are mine; first I will like to nominate Wonders Of My World, Stella’s blog – as far as I am concerned, she is the worlds most generous reader and writer, and since writers cannot exist without the reader, then Stella is indeed a blessing to us writers and I am a living testimony. Again if you are a dreamer like myself and you believe that dreams do come true then you should seriously visit Wonders Of my Worlds. It embodies true tales of a dreamer who has had a taste of what it means to live her dreams. And she is still dreaming. I can’t wait to see what part of the world she would be landing next 🙂

My second nomination goes to Marc & Angel Hack Life – www.marcandangel.com . They are my muse. A friend of mine recommended them when I newly started this blog and I haven’t been disappointed. If you surf through my blog you will find a few quotes from Marc & Angel. They write about self-development matters to put it simply and I tell you no one does it better. The happily married couple reach out to thousands daily and the impact they are having is such an inspiration. I want to be like them when I grow up 🙂 Visit Marc & Angel for all your self-help matters and be sure to bring home with you a lifted spirit.

I will now go on to answer the 10 questions required for nominees:

1. What inspires you most to write?

Everything. My joys, my sorrows, my victories, my failures, life’s pleasures and backlashes. Above all, my walk with God. His mercies, his kindness, his favors, his goodness, his grace, and his righteousness. I’m inspired by how I am experiencing this beautiful life God has given me to live for as long as He’s given me to live it.


2. What it your favorite thing to do in the entire world?

LOL. My favorite thing to do in the entire world is to travel & to write. I believe very strongly that the one cannot go without the other. And even though I have managed, all these years, to survive with the other i.e. with writing only, I am certain beyond all reasonable doubt that it is only a matter of time before the ‘one’ starts to unfold. After writing, my second most happiest thing to do in the world, is traveling. Like I said earlier. I am a dreamer. And I do believe dreams come through.

3. If you could travel anywhere in our beautiful world, where would it be?

That is a tough question to answer. I am torn between Rome and the city of love. Torn between pasta and fine living. Torn between the coliseums and the Tower Eiffel. If I have to choose, I guess it would be Rome.

4. What is your favorite book?

I’ve read many books in my lifetime but my favorite still remains “A Voice in the Wind” by Francine Rivers. I’m yet to read a book or any story for that matter that has moved my heart and soul like this book did. And it was there I first met Rome in person.  I’ve been hooked ever since with curiosity and deep interest. The story is a trilogy – A Voice in the Wind, An Echo in the Darkness & As Sure as the Dawn. Set in Rome, Ephesus, and ancient Germanic settlement.

5. What are you most proud of?

So far so good. This blog is my most prestigious achievement. It is one thing to say you’re a writer and it is another thing entirely to actually write. Secondly, it is one thing to say you are something and it is another thing to be that thing to the world, and then actually give off that essence and touch lives with it. This blog has given me all of that meaning in one.

6. How has your blog helped you most?

My blog has helped me to overcome my fears; my fear of not being sure if I’m good enough. My fear of ‘do I make sense’, am I making sense’, will I be heard, will I communicate, will I touch someone, and if I did, will they be better for it? I never found answers to these questions until I started this blog and that was when I truly embraced life as a writer.

7. What is your favorite childhood memory?

My favorite childhood memory was when I wrote and completed a fully illustrated book of short-stories inspired by Enid Blyton’s mini series. It was the first book I ever authored though never published. Hahaha. I took the book to boarding house one term and I would later regret it. It was the last I would see of it. It would have been such a treasured childhood souvenir had I left it in my mum’s care. I was only 8 when I wrote that book.

8. What is your biggest passion?

My biggest passion is writing. It is how I relate with myself and the world. And sometimes, it is how I talk with God.

9. Your favorite food?

My favorite food is spaghetti and all kinds of noodle food. There’s no doubt about that.

10. What is your favorite quote?

Okay this is a tough one. I have over a thousand in archive. It is hard to say. I have several that speak straight to my heart. I will like to share one on here

“Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.” ― G.K. Chesterton

 

In closing, I will like to thank Mariam Thompson at thecandidspot.wordpress.com and Kate&James at monkeypalmtree.com who both nominated Stella who nominated me. Thanks you ladies. You are all awesome sisters of my blogging worlds!!

 

And gracias to all my awesome readers. You are  co-creators of my musings. 🙂 🙂 xoxo

Every Seed Takes Time To Grow, So Do Your Goals

The best time to plant a tree is 20 years year ago… – Chinese proverb


 

Time is life’s determining factor. One thing that has killed many spirits and snuffed out many brightly lit and promising lives, is impatience, unreasonable thinking and fuzziness.

Have you ever written and sent a business proposal to a client and the reply delays in coming and then you begin to fidget and become restless, not sure what to expect, you begin to anticipate the worse of scenarios?

Do you find that you have the same attitude towards your goals? Say you have written down a few things you will like to achieve within the next 24 months; like change jobs, buy a car and move into a decent neighborhood.

You send out applications and go for interviews and in the midst of it all, you  get temperamental and high-strung. Cussing the companies that call you up for a chat or those who did but didn’t call you for the job.

If this is who you are when you expect results then you are rightly being impatient and unreasonable.

Think about the trees you see around and think about the gardeners who planted them. You think that there would be any trees at all if they cussed and dug out every seed they planted out of agitation?

Think a minute about the seed and listen to this; what do you think happens when a seed is planted? I am going to take my time to share some insight I learned about seeds and germination.

When a seed is planted, any type of seed; the first thing that happens is this; the seed first announces its potential to the universe and begins to attract unto itself what it needs for growth — water, sunlight, nutrients etc. It absorbs all of these, swells, splits up, cracks open and dies so that its inner energy can sprout, breakthrough the earth, push out the dirt and grow upward.

Depending on the seed type, the time frame for this underground phases usually differ. The seed type here is synonymous to your goals, long-term, short-term or mid-term, depending on what is at stake, because sometimes we are unreasonable with our timing and deadlines.

Brian Tracy says, there are no unreasonable goals, only unreasonable deadlines. Take a Baobab tree for example; it is very slow in growing. Yet when it  does, however, the tree reaches heights of 5 to 30 metres (16 to 98 ft) and trunk diameters of 7 to 11 metres (23 to 36 ft). Plus its trunk can hold up to 120,000 litres of water.

The growth pattern of the Baobab tree teaches us a lot about patience and the potency of acknowledging the time factor. If our goals and our dreams will become any good at all, we must learn to put in the work, one day at time, trusting that the potential of our seed will shoot out in exactly the right time.

You must however plant that seed first. Believe in your dream enough to have goals, written goals with stipulated time frames. If you don’t meet your deadline, set a new one. Revisit, re-examine, re-estimate, and keep tweaking till you find what works.

When you don’t meet up to deadlines, it is not a time to cuss and kill yourself with worry. Give it time. Trust that, all the applications and the interviews will all workout one way or another. One day, it will be exactly the right time for you and nothing will stop it.


 The best time to plant a tree is 20 years year ago, the second best time is now – Chinese proverb

girlhuggingtree1

LIFE IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME

Change is inevitable but personal growth is a choice – Bob Proctor


I will like to share something about time and growth that I’ve come to appreciate very much. Let’s say you are a frequent visitor of this blog and overtime you read something new, you consciously take something away. Let’s assume that before now, you rarely gave much to thought to the choices you are making and or how you spend your time.

Let’s also assume that even though you have heard severally about goal setting you have never really seen any through and quite sincerely, have never truly had goals before.

Then you begin a journey toward a worthy ideal; you say to yourself, oh, I’m going to put these things I’m learning to the test. I am going to set a goal for myself, along side that, I will also begin to take my choices and decision making a lot more seriously. I will also begin to stay conscious of time and cherish my time more.

Next you get a journal and begin to write down your goals, you big idea, and basically begin to take account of your little victories. You begin to practice saying No to anyone or anything that doesn’t align with your you or your goal.

You also begin to take more risk like you’ve never attempted before, you attend those nerve-racking events where you are required to walk the room, make new acquaintances or talk about your business in the speed networking segment.

You take the leap and even though you are a nervous wreck inside, you put on your best smile and adorn your best colors, inside and outside. You slowly begin to grow a new circle of acquaintances, friends and business pals. You develop a new interest in books and self-development materials by gurus like John C. Maxwell & Brian Tracy.

Slowly but steadily you realize that many of your dreams which you once relegated as mere fantasies or have completely forgotten about begin to resurface in your mind. You are stirred up by a new enthusiasm. Your life has a new zip to it and you suddenly know what it is you want out of life and how you want to go about this new goal of yours.

The picture gets clearer and less blurrier by the day. You fill up one journal, then another. You find that your once very shy and introverted self has now become the life of every social gathering you find yourself. You find yourself taking the grand stage and carrying others along.

You are embracing your new intentions, to be focused and goal, to be clear in your choices, to take charge of your life, to appreciate and utilize your opportunities, to associate with people who grow you, to invest your time wisely and staying happy in spite of the odds.

Then one day, from the blue, you meet an old acquaintance and you guys have lunch, then she says to you, whoa, you are so different, I almost didn’t recognize you when I saw you, and now I can hardly believe you are the same person I’ve been talking  with all afternoon. You are different. There is something new and fresh about you.

The following week, your old acquaintance refers you to a top organization who in turn call you up for an interview for one of their top management positions. You go and you’re taken. You begin and your finance is transformed almost immediately. You take a look at your journal and you realize that you have not only exceeded a your 12 month goal in six months, you have also begun ticking off the 2 year goals.

You sit back and you wonder when and how you got there. You try to understand what it was you did differently, you reflect on the events of synchronicities and think to yourself that each of the steps you have taken weren’t exactly rocket science. Which is true; it only took a little shift of your mind and attention to make the huge difference.

It also didn’t happen overnight. You remember quite vividly it was about two birthdays ago that you made a true resolution to change your life and begin to apply the tips you read on my blog. You smile and decidedly concluded that they work after all. That one can begin to make a difference in their lives if they decided to.

You can tell just by looking at your life. You cannot explain how it happened, but you can tell for yourself that your life is different. That is the thing about time  I thought you should know.

Though this is only a theoretical example, you can decide that this could be your story. You can begin to take your life more seriously and apply the things you read here to your life. Start here, start now. Persistence + Consistency + Time = successful results.


 

  “The body grows slowly and steadily but the soul grows by leaps and bounds. It may come to its full stature in an hour.” ― L.M. Montgomery

Success is time

Rachel McAdams in movie – Morning Glory… One of my favs about believing in dreams!!

 

FAILURE IS A FRIEND

FAIL FIRST, FAIL FAST, FAIL OFTEN – Paul Martinelli


If you are going to make it big, then you must make room for failure or you will be miserable. Failure is inevitable and unless you create room in your heart to embrace your failures, you will become disgruntled, bitter and a quitter.

Why do we fail? Simple, it is because we do not know better. When we fail, what happens; we learn. However that isn’t always the case, because not many people realize they have learnt a new genius. They allow the downside of failure keep them down. They do not realize that there is the upside to failure; which is the lesson learnt.

Whatever you learn every time you fail is your lift to success. It is your ticket to greatness and your  key to success. This means  you must fail if you must do any better than you currently are. This may be hard for you especially if you are used to winning. If for instance, you are an athlete who is used to winning all the time, and suddenly you fail, it doesn’t mean karma has caught up with you, it only means you have reached your threshold and need to step up your game. You need to stretch. Become a bigger star. Get a new tune. Create a better groove.

We fear failure majorly because it shows us our limits and we hate it because we love our routine and detest change. Change is good but hardly comfortable. That is why we love our comfort zones. It is natural. We don’t like to go out in the rain or get scorched in the sun, but a little of both gives us the opportunity to appreciate the better part of life.

Failure helps you see your deficiency and then inspires you to improve. At least that is what it is meant to do. We only stay defeated because we choose to be defeated by failure. Failure is hardly defeat, only a hard blow. You can take that blow, recover, and move on. Or you can take that blow, be offended and remain bitter. The choice is yours. A good friend will always tell you the truth and that is what failure does for us — it shows to us our weakness and our shortcomings. Quit your hard luck stories and start doing something to change it. Get better.

If you are going to be great, you will have to go beyond good. If you are going to be awesome, you will have to go beyond fabulous. If you are going to do the supernatural, you will have to get past natural and become super. If you are going to do wonders, you will have to step up from being a local champion and become the 8th wonder of the world. If you would be anything worthwhile in life, you must as a matter of fact, fail first, fail fast and fail often.

 

Try the extraordinary

 

 

 

WAKE UP AND LIVE

It’s not about attaining your dream, it’s growing stronger through the challenges of attaining your dream and who you become through that journey

Have you ever wondered why it is often said that you are your greatest opposition and your greatest enemy? Why it is strongly believed that the most important battles in life are the battles of the mind? Why no matter what happens unless you believe in yourself very little can come out of your seemingly great efforts? Why you are constantly asked to dress the part. It is because, even though you embody this great dream or idea, you are more important than the dream or goal or idea, whatever it may be.

Often times we put too much emphasis on what we want to get, what we want to achieve and then we neglect what is most important which is, getting there. We neglect that bridge that connects us from ‘here’ to ‘there’. We forget that our ‘here’ is of as much significance as our ‘there.’  We are swayed by fantasies of the glittering ‘there’ and in an attempt to achieve this great dream, we submerge ourselves in activities rather than in growth.

Think about a child, lets say your little niece for instance, who loves to micmic roles of an actress. Every time she performs an act you laugh and pat her back, and try to encourage her fantasies by buying her things that would keep her flames alive. Still you know within yourself that it takes a grown woman to be an actress. And no matter how much she tries as a child actress, she would have to be a full grown woman, schooled thoroughly in theater, to truly become an actress.

It takes a certain kind of person to become a certain kind of person. And it takes a certain kind of person to attain a certain kind of lifestyle, or achieve a certain kind of goal. If your dream is to double your income, and earn say $5,000 as monthly income, the most important question to you, shouldn’t be about struggling for a promotion or a getting a better paying job, rather it should be thus; “Who do I need to become to earn $5000?” Other than focusing on your results, you focus on the process.

The purpose of your goal is the journey. The purpose of the pursuit is the process.

Whenever you set a new goal in life, you automatically raise the standards you operate by. With your new goal, you say to yourself, this is who I intend to become. You realize that in order to reach your goal, you must become a certain type of person. This means your goal is high up there and you are down below here and in order to reach it you must stretch. That stretch is your process, your journey; that is what is most important.

Not the $5000. Not the house by the beach. Not the fat bank account. Not fame or popularity. Instead what happens between ‘here’ and ‘there’ and who you become. That is where the transformation takes place. The exchange; that is where the price is paid. That is where you negotiate. Multi-billion dollar babies do not become billion dollar babies only because hay had a big break. They became billion dollar babies because they changed… from who they were to who they needed to be to become multi-million dollar babies.

Isn’t it obvious that the biggest reason why we never talk about what we want to become in life is become we fear being scorned and laughed at? And why are we scorned and laughed at? Why do these mediocre minds, so to speak, look you over and laugh their hardest when you tell them how you are going to build the most magnificent structure ever known to man? Simple, it is because you do not look like the sort of person who builds magnificent architectural work, even though you seem one of the best in your class.

And it isn’t so much about your appearance but your aura, your general comportment. They look at your entire make-up and they think to themselves, she must be dreaming. That is why you have to prove them wrong. And you can only do that by changing, growing, and becoming that outstanding architect. You focus more on becoming than on attaining. Allowing yourself to be totally consumed by the result of your goal can be gruesome and frustrating because you work your ass off and rake in very little rewards. Instead, you focus on becoming this awe-struck personality who achieves thus and thus a goal. That way you find that rather than fuss, you glide through your process.

We’ll never get it all done; we’ll never get it all “right”. It’s here for us to enjoy the process.

Having raised the standards in your life, you created the space you’ll need to stretch so you can reach your goal, as you stretch you change, don’t forget to enjoy the process. Don’t get too carried away working to be the part, that you forget to dress the part. That is the fun part, the dress rehearsal so to speak. When kids do make-believe, they do it with delight and with deep satisfaction. It is in that deep satisfaction that you stretch. That is where growth takes place. In the spaces where you enjoy with deep satisfaction, the little details that add up along the way.

Yes you may have to attend seminars or conferences where people who have achieved your desired milestone are found, attempt what they have done, and do what they did but far above it all is loving it while you do it. Live throughout the process don’t sleep through it and hope to suddenly wake up at the other side. You will be sorely surprised.

In this journey, you must stay awake, alive, animated. If you have to return to school, do it with fervor. If you must take a course or go on a trip to immense yourself in certain cultures or learn a new language, do it with enthusiasm and eager expectation. If you must change jobs, as you go through the process of sending out your resumes to different employers, let it be an adventure and not some boring obligation.

Who am I becoming in all of this?

Who are you becoming? Big question. Are you happier, more grateful and hopeful or are you frequently depressed, complaining, and negative every step of the way. Remember, that everything is everything; the way you do one thing is the way you will do another and consequently, who you are becoming determines the prize. You are either becoming the strong athlete who runs for the prize or you are the grumpy trainee who never makes it to the big game in the first place.

A cheerful heart and a cheerful attitude will get you to your destination faster and happier while ingratitude, complaints, blame and a disgruntled attitude will bring you disappointments, rejections and hard luck stories. What you need is a high dose of positivity and positive expectations, so that no matter how many times you fail, you know failure contributes more to your growth than anything else in the world.

Wake up and live. Be excited about your transformation and your change. Your ‘there’ is only a a few ‘heres‘ away. Enjoy this now, enjoy this moment, be grateful for today, embrace your growth. And trust me, by the time you get ‘there’ hardly will any of those laughing jackasses accept that what they see is true. They will see that you made it, and that you have become this shinning star and they will not recognize you. It is because you have grown. You have changed. You are now the sort of person who does great and amazing things.

serena-williams-wins-2013-french-open

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LOOK AWAY TO STAY FOCUSED

STAY HUNGRY. STAY FOOLISH – Steve Jobs


I made a major shift recently in my life that probably confused a handful of people and a few of my friends. I realized that I was constantly stressed, repeatedly drained and overly busy doing a lot of stuff in pursuit of my goals. I was stretched in so many directions trying to build my PR business, grow my clientele, and pursue my passion as a writer at the same time.

My emotions were stretched thin and so was my perseverance, especially because living a city like Lagos, (the busiest, craziest and the most insanely bustling city in Nigeria) you are forced to contend with many oppositions; its dynamic and infuriated demography, the mad rush and the endemic competitive residents. It can be crazy. It is crazy. And commuting within the city was one of my most dreaded ventures. It was hostile and it sucked out the very life out of you.

I knew I needed to take a break, a breather, something, anything to transfuse the life back into me. So I made major decisions, I dropped everything as in everything. And disappeared. LOL. Yeah, that was what I did. I had to find my Mojo, get back my zip and my tang. I had to revive those dead cells, regenerate the very tissues that gave me my uniqueness, so I did what only me was known to do at the very odd times and the very unexpected moments. I shifted.

My friends thought, “Oh dear, here she goes again.” My new acquaintances thought, “What the hell is wrong with her, is she okay?” My family members, didn’t understand it but supported me all the same. They give me that look that says, “hey babe, we don’t know what the hell you’re about right now but we can tell its going to be gorgeous.”

Before I dropped everything and disappeared, everything weirdly, seemed to be working out. I’d just closed two fabulous deals that seemed like the bomb. They were the bomb. And the clients were nothing short of extraordinary, breathtaking and awesome. They were the kind of people you wanted to spend your lunch time with everyday and in every way. Two stunning and spectacular female entrepreneurs who called the shots in their fields.

Still I dropped it all and disappeared. Why? Something wasn’t right. Something wasn’t in place. Everything wasn’t in place even though everything seemed to workout. I wasn’t in place. I was out of focus. And if you’re into filmmaking, you’ll know that isn’t right. I’m the movie star here. I’m the protagonist. I’m the life of the party. Why should I be out of focus, be the blur? I was off balance. I was tilting to the edge, about to fall off.

That certainly wasn’t right. So in order to get it all back together, to stand still, erect and solid, I had to take my eyes off the chaos in spite of the spotted fabulosity. I had to look away to set my eyes on what was most important and most crucial — me. I had to get back to center. Take my eyes off the exterior and place it on the interior.

Oh, and its been amazing. My muscles are healing, stretching and growing. And this blog happens to be the first fruits of that transformation. I have found my voice and I am building my tribe. It is so easy and insanely fulfilling, I can hardly contain myself. I mean I am so in touch with my inner self, and alive like never before, I am awed by my own growth.

My coach always told me that the inner growth was the most crucial and the most important. Everything else springs from your inner growth. She gave an illustration with workouts; when you workout, you are advised to do it every other day because the space in between is when your muscles heal and grow. Growth happens in silence and quite. You only have to believe, and find the courage to take your eyes off whats weighing you to find what will reenergize you.

It’s never easy to leave the familiar and chase after the unknown. It is perhaps the scariest thing you will ever do. Yet it promises to be good — in the long run. That is where staying focused comes in. Once you find your center, stay on it. Once you find what you love, stay with it. Once you find your silence, never comprise it. Once you take your eyes off the distracting exterior, keep your eyes on your internal core. Let everything else flow from your epicenter.

Stay on that goal, water that seed, and keep watering it, never mind that the shoots take forever to sprout. The seed itself needs to draw from the earth, its nutrients, the sunlight, and the water you give it and these take a significant amount of time. Your seed needs sometime to announce its potential to the universe in order to draw just what it needs for its development, and trust me that doesn’t happen in one day, or one month. It could take years. (More about the seed soon)

So, like my role model, Steve Jobs said, stay foolish — disappear if you have to but find your Mojo, stay hungry — keep chasing after the unknown. You can hardly go wrong. You cannot connect the dots now, I hardly can myself. Still, I’m certain that in a few years from now, I would be most grateful to God, that I made that shift when I did. Stay foolish — you will be misunderstood sometimes, but stay focused. Welcome to August!

Desert girl

 

You got to find what you LOVE!

As we come to the close of another month, I’ll like to share this piece with you. It inspires me anytime I read it and every word of it is so, so true. Many people inspire me, many things stir me to want to be better than I currently am. Like ordinary people doing extra ordinary things, like my awesome family members and their big hearts, like great books written by beautiful people, great movies with moving stories, like the author of this piece you are about to read.


“If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.”

You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.  Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.

STAY HUNGRY. STAY FOOLISH.

Selected text from the transcribed speech by Steve Jobs,
Stanford Report, June 14, 2005


I hope you’ve had an amazing July just like I’ve had.  I hope you’ve been inspired by my random musings. I hope you have learned something new. I hope you have been convinced, even if it’s just a little bit, that you are bigger inside than you could ever imagine. If you believe so, then why not, my July has certainly been awesome. Write down your goals for August, take a step of faith and reach for the stars! Be simply awesome!! XOXO

Reach for the stars

10 WEIRD HABITS OF SUCCESS GURUS WORTH LEARNING

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”― Mahatma Gandhi


1. Weird moments of solitude, staring into nothing
Have you ever tried thinking of all the bits of information that your brain has to analyze, ignore, memorize and retain? Hold that thought. Now think of these gurus and all the handwork they put into their businesses, lifestyles, relationships, managing their staff, clientele base, and the ever evolving big idea, finding a balance between them and making loads of cash at the same time. Cool. Now imagine the ginormous amount of information they have to analyze, ignore, memorize and retain? Seriously, for the success guru, silence is paramount. Moments when the mind is free from thinking and free from thinking about thinking are highly essential to anyone who’s going to make a difference in his sphere of influence. Silence will recharge your energy while your body and mind is at rest. One of the secrets of silence; finding some quiet and sitting in a complete hushed state, is that it boosts creativity. And creativity requires solitude. If you are having major blocks in your creative work as an artist or entrepreneur, or even as a stay-at-home mum, you should try silence; find a quiet spot and sit still for just 10 minutes, try it once a day everyday, and watch how the magic unfolds inner peace, clarity, creativity and self-discovery into your life.

2. Weird long hours writing and writing, stacking piles of notebooks
The journal. I think I might do a separate piece on the power of the journal soon. Perhaps next month in August. There is power in writing your thoughts, your goals, your dreams, your aspirations, your challenges and how you tackled them, your intentions and how the miracles that follow, your big idea and its exponential potential, your growth, your journey, your little victories, your gratitude. The list is endless. Only write. Great successes of history can attest to having stacks and stacks of notebooks about their dreams and then in turn, show you how those dreams have unfolded. A friend of mine, a politician and entrepreneur, who encourages me to keep writing, once said to me; whatever you do not write does not exist. Likewise, I say to you, whatever your dreams or your desires, or your hopes or your visions, even your little victories (the ones you so often ignore), unless you write them down, they do not exist. Writing down your goals among other things, gives you power. It is you reinforcing your voice, and your voice is your power. So begin today, get a notebook.

3.Weird moments of asking questions, inquiring
They are always curious. The desire to want to know, to understand, to seek out, to discover, to uncover, to find out, to grasp, to unearth, to comprehend is never ending for the one who will make it big even for the one who already has. The law of Curiosity by John C. Maxwell explains; Growth begins by asking why? Solutions come only to those who ask why? Great inventions happened to great inventors because they asked why? The secret to your success or  to greater success for you may actual lie in you becoming a complete nuisance so to speak, asking too many questions at a conference and becoming a pain in the ass. So long as you do it with the intention to learn more, know more, understand better and solve more problems. And guess what, the more problems you solve, the more success you attract. Good luck with getting more curious.

4. Weird quiet moments of observation
They have their eyes open at all times. They study everything and anything that is within the sphere of their vision. They are good at studying human behavior. They can look you over and in a moment and read you like a book. This quality gives them the edge in almost everything they do, from hiring the right staff to choosing a business partner. They read the small prints and are always reading between the lines. Nothing goes unnoticed. Therefore nothing takes them by surprise. They possess the characteristics of the lion and the lamb. They play the fool long enough to glean off as much as they need, then they crouch like the lion waiting to pounce on the next opportunity. Understand that you do no know everything and sometimes situation warrants, you learn by just watching, observing and absorbing, without speaking a single word. Make mental notes of your observations and then go back to the drawing board. Curiosity in asking why is awesome but asking in order to learn, isn’t always about speaking, it can be observing too. It pays to know what scenarios to apply either of both qualities.

5. Weird dietary routines and workout routines
They are ‘keep fit’ freaks. I guess they realize that they need to stay alive and healthy to make any difference in the world and the higher they go the more disciplined they get with what they eat, how they eat and the more concerned they are about how they look. In spite of their busy schedules they get to workout and go for frequent checkups with the doctor. Something Brian Tracy said come to mind; in life, the moment who make money, you begin to think less about money and start to spend your time doing other things that are most important. True. You begin to think about  family time more, your health and your well being and other pleasures of life. Money becomes the least of your concerns. On the contrary, if you haven’t made any money, it is all you think about.  Working out and eating right may be the last things on your to-do-list. We will do well though, to start taking our health and physical fitness a lot more serious and not wait till the time is perfect.

6. Weird obsessions about punctuality
I learned quiet recently that one can never go wrong with punctuality. It says too much about you when you’re late to an important appointment. Note the word, important. If you’re late then it probably wasn’t important after all. And worst still if the important meeting was with an important figure. I also learnt a new line of wisdom that goes thus; everything is everything. They way you do anything is the way you do everything. So you see why arriving late all the time tells so much about you. Sometimes you seem to just do things and barely think through your actions, meanwhile, someone somewhere is watching and writing a new chapter about you everyday by simply observing you and the things you do.  When people say no to you, think it through, what are they seeing? Likewise when they yes, what could you be doing right?

7. Weird simple appearances at social gatherings
My coach once said to me, when you go to a gathering, the person who is overly dressed is probably the poorest person in the room. Appearance is everything. This doesn’t mean you go everywhere looking anyhow and untidy. Sometimes people feel that caring less about their appearance is part of humility or it is their way of saying to the world, ‘I have better things on my mind’. Not a good idea. Appearance speaks volumes. And as humans we are usually ruthless with the rule called first impression. We can glance an individual over and decide what or how to feel about that person without even hearing them speak in the first instance. And our perception about that person is immediately colored forever by that initial judgement. The key is too always look good, look your best but don’t over do it. Over doing it is a hint on low self-esteem. Be big on the inside. Be confident and be awesome and you will be just fine. Most times, what is usually perceived is your aura not the clothing. When you have a strong positive aura, the clothing becomes of less importance.

8. Weird intense concentration when listening to anything
You can be talking trash and have the full attention of the big guns. It only means you will never fool them into bearing your company again. They listen to every thing said and unsaid. They are concerned more about what you are not saying with your mouth; what your body language seems to be bawling. Now imagine if you were talking sense, and you had the full hearing of the senator. Be sure to get invited for dinner, or expect a phone call from his secretary. Even if you don’t know what the hell you where saying , you must have said something right. Another trick is to keep silent if you have nothing to say. Silence is powerful and it takes a lot of character to stay quiet in a rowdy conversation where everyone seems to have something to say. Your silence soon presents you with an open mic and a platform in no time. Apart from loving wise words bold presentations, successful folks also know how to spot the quiet one who has chosen to remain confident in his non-vocal state.

9. Weird moments of silence when having a conversation, and fewer words
When speaking to someone of great importance, and he or she tends to respond with long moments of silence, don’t get uncomfortable and fill in all the gaps with gibberish. Just be silent in return. Especially if you have noting to say. Your quiet steadiness will, more often than not, pass off as confidence rather than stupid. Trying to fill in the gaps of silence will indicate restlessness or insecurity and a low self-esteem. Be still in your skin and you will be respected for surviving the steady gaze of the observing guru. Make it your turn to learn through observation as well. And when asked a question, try to make your responses as brief and detailed as you can. Remember to be honest too. You never know what they know. Don’t shoot yourself in the leg.

10. Weird humongous collection of books, always reading and reading
They never stop learning. Period. The moment you begin to think you have arrived you begin to diminish in value. Knowledge is inexhaustible and so is wisdom. There can never be enough of both. Like the proverbial saying of King Solomon; Of making many books there is no end, and too much study wearies the body. Humans will always continue to learn and want more information. It is the only way we can grow. Growth on the inside is the growth that is most important. Expand your mind, expand your horizon. Choose to improve daily. Begin with a book a month and then increase your speed. What qualifies a person as wise? Wisdom. Knowing. Understanding. It comes form reading, asking why, and observing. There is some much you do not know and so much you will never learn until you pick up a book and read.

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”― Dr. Seuss

I’m often told by my coach that the secret to success is so simple, that many people pass it off as ineffective and inefficient. That is why only few people are truly successful and wealthy. Like reading books for instance, or listening to audio programs. Don’t expect your 20 something or 30 something year old minds to suddenly want to turn around and begin to read a book or workout every week. It takes persistence to teach your already set mind to begin imbibing a new way of doing things. That is where the handwork comes in — persistence.

reading

RULES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN

“Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.”
― Dalai Lama XIV


Maybe I’m a rebel at heart. Maybe we all should be rebels at some point in our lives. Maybe that is the way it should be if we must hone our unique abilities. You should be ready to break the rules when it gets to your turn. This isn’t suggesting you become a mindless rebel, like going without clothes because it is your unique ability to wade off the scorching sun or freezing weather! That would be insanity wouldn’t it? Even though following your heart sometimes can be likened to insanity, but of course you do know what I mean right?

Once, I use to think that people who did great things were special people. That they had, literally, a silver spoon in their mouths when they where born. No kidding. I used to be that clueless. I would stare at these images in glossy magazines and would spend tons of hours in front of the TV because I had to have my dose of mesmerization and there was never enough to go round. My eyelids would hang wide open in awe,  gaping with my mouth dripping, my internal senses stirred and roused, desiring to be like these superstars. These awfully lucky superstars.

Of course now, I know better. Now I know that people only become special because of handwork. Persistent handwork and mind drilling intentions. Now I know that I too can be special no matter the circumstance and that I can be a superstar if only I do the work, and then of course break some rules.

It’s a lot clearer now what I mean by breaking rules, isn’t it? It has to do with being great, being special and being a superstar. You probably have heard this before, that there is no such thing as luck only hard work. And that there is no such thing as talent, only persistence. Meaning if you work hard at it long enough, developing your skills and all you’ll become talented and you’ll be successful and then people will say, “oh look how lucky she is…”

Well, now you know the secret, that the only reason why you are still a spectator, observing all the wonders happen to the minority other than yourself is well, one of several things. You need to start breaking rules. You need to leave your confort zone and try the unusual, which is relative of course, I mean how do you try the unusual when you don’t even know whats usual for you. Big question.

Rules are good, don’t get me wrong. Rules are good because they show to you your limits, and what better growth is there than the one that stretches you beyond your limits. Rules show to you what others have done to get their own results, and in a way gives you clues of what you can do that no one has ever attempted. Rules show to you a road map of the routes available that you can take to reach your destination, and if you studied them long enough, you will begin to see new routes that no one ever knew existed.

It is the whole essence of life, to create and co-create. The process is on going and that is what makes life exciting — breaking the rules. If you are still feeling uneasy about this, then perhaps you are thinking about principles and not rules. Rules are man-made, and anything that is made by man is subject to errors, and alteration by another human. While principles operate by laws and laws exist by nature so whatever you do, no matter how ground breaking your intentions are, you can never cheat the laws of the universe. They are constant, they are real and they are alive.

So congratulations! Now you are free to break any rules that have kept you in the dark, held you back from shining like the star you were born to be. Only follow your heart and your big dream, you may rip a muscle or two in the process, but it would be worth it. Also find someone who can help guide you, someone who has gone ahead of you and believes in you, that is so important. As you go in pursuit of your goals, its always great to have a guide, like a coach or a mentor who is willing to support you and helps you navigate the thorn bushes of life. Again, congratulations!


“Following all the rules leaves a completed checklist. Following your heart achieves a completed you.”― Ray Davis


Eleanor Roosevelt 1884-1962

5 DISCOVERIES YOU WILL MAKE ON YOUR LIFE’S JOURNEY


A hero is born among a hundred, a wise man is found among a thousand, but an accomplished one might not be found even among a hundred thousand men. – Plato


1. There is always an extra mile, an extra push

Never think for once in your life that being mediocre has got its advantages. Maybe it does. In that case you will live a quiet meaningless life with not a single bother. You will spend most of your days a spectator, hardly a commentator because that would require a ginormous dose of gusto. But of course that isn’t in your plan. You may be thinking though, that well I am not Oprah, I cannot stand before a crowd and speak. Who says that’s what being a hero is all about? Who says it’s about trying to be someone else? Heroism is found within us. We become heroes when we realize that we matter in the world and in our own little way begin to make that impression on every soul we meet. We spread our pixie dust everywhere we go, we lift a dark cloud and leave behind some laughter, a soft touch, a big hug. We become wise when we embrace the joy of living with zest and with a niggling compulsion to be the soprano in every day’s symphony. This is a fact of life, that heroes and the wise can be spotted among a thousand. But the one who has gone the extra mile to hone her skills, and harness her innate power, is so hard to find. And isn’t it so, that the nurse in the small clinic downtown is known by her patients as one-in-a-million. And the teacher in the local school with broken windows, will always remain the favorite and most loved by her poor pupils, she is to them more than gold, a one-of-a-kind. And the single mum whose kids at Christmas would always inscribe in the card greatest-mum-ever. What is your purpose, what is your reason for being, what is your high calling? Is it to merely drift through life and bob at every opinion that wings its way through the air? Is it to be uninspired neither by sunshine or by rain? Is it to exude a lackluster vibe and be hidden from the stars above? Can you begin to discover the beauty muddled in disorder and find peace in chaos? Can you begin to make sense of your dilemmas? Can you find within you the courage, to piece together an image worthy of praise, with the fragments from your misfortune? Can you become a one-of-a-kind? Will you go that extra mile and be the one in one hundred thousand? Not the spectator.


You will learn as you get older, that the rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms and never, ever apologize for it. Mandy Hale


2. Rules are meant to be broken

Be unstoppable. Be brave. Be bold. As you evolve and your muscles toughen, you will begin to appreciate your journey more and love yourself even better. At every milestone you will realize how much you have grown, how much you have learnt and how lonely you have sojourned. You realize that indeed you have taken the road less traveled and even though it hasn’t been easy it’s been worth it. You have chosen the path that is uniquely yours and uniquely you. You have overcome the urge to trim off the very shoots that give you zing. You have embraced your quirkiness and in it you have discovered your greatest potential and now with it you will impact the world with wonder. But first you must travel this road, this rarely beaten path where the rules that exist are the ones you have chosen and designed, suitable for you and tolerable only by your quirkiness. You will learn this fact of life, first to be the unbearable pain and fear of being estranged, then later as an incredible reward; the joys of imperfections and the beauty of idiosyncrasies.


You will find your voice in so many places, it doesn’t mean you are insane, it only means that deep down, you recognize who you are and soon you will become at peace with that image. It means you are growing and are mastering your rhythm


3. You must make the effort to find yourself first, then everything else follows

As you journey through life you will see many wonders and creations that make you dance within. A line of thought, a song, a whisper. When you hear them, your heart leaps. In your search for yourself and what you love, you will meet many people, different origins and with different values yet something inside of them is recognizable to you. Something they say or do is familiar, like a faint memory, something in the way they interpret the world, aligns with something deep inside of you. In the myriad of hues, you find and choose the textures and patterns that are uniquely you and reflect your deepest desires. In the cacophony of tunes, you can single out the notes and tempos that resonate with you. In the midst of the dissonance, you find melody that only you can relate to the world. And within a jungle of views and values, from little pieces collected over time, you find rhythm, in it all there is concordance. As the puzzle assembles together, you begin to find yourself, your image is clearer, your voice is fine-tuned and your identity is certain. You have become a true citizen of the world. You have mastered your rhythm, now you can sing your song with audaciousness and grace. You have taken your place in the world.


You will learn that true love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion but on the contrary, an element calm and deep. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. – Ellen G. White


4. Your perspective about love will continue to evolve

A woman will discover love in the most awkward place, in the most unusual person, at the most unexpected time, and in the most defining moments of her life. If her life weren’t a defining moment at the time of falling in love, then finding love at the time, would certainly give it some definiteness. She would experience love in many colors, and many shades. At some point it is a roaring fire, some other time it is a ravaging beast, for some it is like the wind, never knowing where it is going or where it is coming from. For many it is a wild fire, it comes and licks up every ounce of their being. Life is saturated with tragedies and fairytale endings alike, where some have lost their senses, others have made sense of their lives, where some lose their reasoning, others found their paradise. Love is many things to different people, and overtime the wise ones among us have come to the conclusion that our perception of love is probably the last thing on the list. And time and again we will discover as we journey along, that love can be calm, and deep, like still waters running through rocky crevices. That it does after all, have eyes that can see, and it looks beyond the externals to discover emotions, gestures, motives and sensibilities within the person that is about to become lover or foe. True love is a mystery yet. One that will continually awe us for as long as the human race exists.

 


You won’t always get where you intended to go in life, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be. – Marc & Angel


5. You won’t always arrive where you intended, but it would be just fine

If truly this is a journey, then in your hands are a map, and a compass, telling you what turn to take and what bridge to follow. Your destination is new to you, you have never been there before but with the map, you know just how to get there, so you prepare and you begin your journey. You have a picture in your mind’s eye of what this utopia will look like, you have painted one and possible etched it unto a board you carry with you as you journey. You follow the trail as directed by your map, you take each day at a time, you encounter all kinds of hazards and eventualities on the road, you meet a few other travelers, you exchange values and notes. You are making progress, you are persistent, and after what seems like a gazillion miles, you arrive at a certain city, bustling with so much exuberance and the people  there bounced with enthusiasm and optimism. You thought to yourself that perhaps you would camp there a while and then get on your journey, then you realized how you loved this place, somehow everything seemed fine and perfect and in place. You fit in like a cut out rock in the temple walls in Jerusalem. You thought that perhaps, it wouldn’t be so bad after all if you chose to call this place home and then like a Christmas miracle, you are told not to worry your little head over nothing. You discover that this place that you have grown to love is apparently the only existing city along this route. And  that though it can be spotted on the map it certainly isn’t on ground. Far from disappointed, you are overwhelmed with joy, that even though it isn’t like you painted it, you are happy just being there. These sort of adventures will happen many times throughout your life journey. You will have plans like school, canning your masters or your PHD, then somewhere in between, you fall crazily in love, get married and have a set of twins. You set goals to start a business, then a prospective client turns out to be a fantastic boss, you’re hired by the big guns and now you live and work abroad. It wasn’t what you intended but it fits like a glove, you are happy, satisfied, and moving along your course with contentment and joy.

Mysteries