Self-love

Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

Writing and reading are collaborative acts in the making and performance of space-time. Readers participate; they become, partly, writers. The reader is its co-creator. – David Morley

Hi everyone! I’ve been nominated for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award by my one and only ‘Superfan’ 🙂 – Gypsyess, blogger at Wonder Of My Worlds. I only started this blog barely 3 months now so you can imagine my surprise and excitement to hear Stella say she nominated me for a world bloggers award. I was elated to say the least. Not only has her steady readership been a huge encouragement to me, it has also inspired me every time I’m about to write a new piece…I think about Stella and I say to myself, what freshness can I bring Stella’s way today? Or whenever I’m down and not feeling like my blogging is making any difference, I remember the generosity in her comments about how she is learning a lot from my musing.

If you are a writer, you would understand how these little drops here and there can make our stream gush and bubble. They are the only reason why we keep writing, because someone somewhere is feeding off our energy and is being illuminated from inside out because of our train of thought. There is no better reward for a writer.

So thank you Stella for taking the time to read, thank you for your generous comments, they hang like little medals on my computer desktop and my vision board. Thank you for your lavish and unselfish gesture of reblogging a few of my posts and thank you for nominating me for the Sisterhood of the Worlds Bloggers Award. You are just awesome! And that is an understatement. I hope that someday soon, the travel bug will cause our paths to cross. Oh, now that would be awesome!

Since I’m expected to nominate people as well, here are mine; first I will like to nominate Wonders Of My World, Stella’s blog – as far as I am concerned, she is the worlds most generous reader and writer, and since writers cannot exist without the reader, then Stella is indeed a blessing to us writers and I am a living testimony. Again if you are a dreamer like myself and you believe that dreams do come true then you should seriously visit Wonders Of my Worlds. It embodies true tales of a dreamer who has had a taste of what it means to live her dreams. And she is still dreaming. I can’t wait to see what part of the world she would be landing next 🙂

My second nomination goes to Marc & Angel Hack Life – www.marcandangel.com . They are my muse. A friend of mine recommended them when I newly started this blog and I haven’t been disappointed. If you surf through my blog you will find a few quotes from Marc & Angel. They write about self-development matters to put it simply and I tell you no one does it better. The happily married couple reach out to thousands daily and the impact they are having is such an inspiration. I want to be like them when I grow up 🙂 Visit Marc & Angel for all your self-help matters and be sure to bring home with you a lifted spirit.

I will now go on to answer the 10 questions required for nominees:

1. What inspires you most to write?

Everything. My joys, my sorrows, my victories, my failures, life’s pleasures and backlashes. Above all, my walk with God. His mercies, his kindness, his favors, his goodness, his grace, and his righteousness. I’m inspired by how I am experiencing this beautiful life God has given me to live for as long as He’s given me to live it.


2. What it your favorite thing to do in the entire world?

LOL. My favorite thing to do in the entire world is to travel & to write. I believe very strongly that the one cannot go without the other. And even though I have managed, all these years, to survive with the other i.e. with writing only, I am certain beyond all reasonable doubt that it is only a matter of time before the ‘one’ starts to unfold. After writing, my second most happiest thing to do in the world, is traveling. Like I said earlier. I am a dreamer. And I do believe dreams come through.

3. If you could travel anywhere in our beautiful world, where would it be?

That is a tough question to answer. I am torn between Rome and the city of love. Torn between pasta and fine living. Torn between the coliseums and the Tower Eiffel. If I have to choose, I guess it would be Rome.

4. What is your favorite book?

I’ve read many books in my lifetime but my favorite still remains “A Voice in the Wind” by Francine Rivers. I’m yet to read a book or any story for that matter that has moved my heart and soul like this book did. And it was there I first met Rome in person.  I’ve been hooked ever since with curiosity and deep interest. The story is a trilogy – A Voice in the Wind, An Echo in the Darkness & As Sure as the Dawn. Set in Rome, Ephesus, and ancient Germanic settlement.

5. What are you most proud of?

So far so good. This blog is my most prestigious achievement. It is one thing to say you’re a writer and it is another thing entirely to actually write. Secondly, it is one thing to say you are something and it is another thing to be that thing to the world, and then actually give off that essence and touch lives with it. This blog has given me all of that meaning in one.

6. How has your blog helped you most?

My blog has helped me to overcome my fears; my fear of not being sure if I’m good enough. My fear of ‘do I make sense’, am I making sense’, will I be heard, will I communicate, will I touch someone, and if I did, will they be better for it? I never found answers to these questions until I started this blog and that was when I truly embraced life as a writer.

7. What is your favorite childhood memory?

My favorite childhood memory was when I wrote and completed a fully illustrated book of short-stories inspired by Enid Blyton’s mini series. It was the first book I ever authored though never published. Hahaha. I took the book to boarding house one term and I would later regret it. It was the last I would see of it. It would have been such a treasured childhood souvenir had I left it in my mum’s care. I was only 8 when I wrote that book.

8. What is your biggest passion?

My biggest passion is writing. It is how I relate with myself and the world. And sometimes, it is how I talk with God.

9. Your favorite food?

My favorite food is spaghetti and all kinds of noodle food. There’s no doubt about that.

10. What is your favorite quote?

Okay this is a tough one. I have over a thousand in archive. It is hard to say. I have several that speak straight to my heart. I will like to share one on here

“Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.” ― G.K. Chesterton

 

In closing, I will like to thank Mariam Thompson at thecandidspot.wordpress.com and Kate&James at monkeypalmtree.com who both nominated Stella who nominated me. Thanks you ladies. You are all awesome sisters of my blogging worlds!!

 

And gracias to all my awesome readers. You are  co-creators of my musings. 🙂 🙂 xoxo

IMAGINATION EQUALS IMAGE IN ACTION

Success in life is for those who are excited about where they’re going.  So find something that you love — something that gets you so excited you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning.  That’s what life is all about. – Mark & Angel


How does one stay true to dreams? By knowing exactly what you are about. Last week, I had a chat with an acquaintance. I wanted to know why she did what she did for a living. Then in the process, I realized that she was still job hunting and was only working temporarily at her current job.

I went on to ask her what kind of job she wanted and the kind of interviews she answered. After talking a while I realized that her motivation to work was because she had a goal to run a department store for everyday clothing. Her face beamed as she talked about it and I believed her.

There is always something worth while to glean off someone with a dream. Sadly though, there are a few people who tend to feel weighed by a discussion that leans towards dreams, purpose and goals. Sometimes having a good job is as far as it goes, and maybe a few other businesses by the side as alternative sources of income.

So back to our first question; How does one stay true to themselves and pursue a dream that truly defines who they are and what they should be doing? If you have trouble finding answers to what makes you happy or gives your life excitement, you can start with observing where your day dreams take you.

Everyday there is someone you dream to be, or someone you imagine you would become someday. The danger is to dismiss it as fantasy, don’t! Call it fantasy, only don’t dismiss it just yet. Fantasy is usually a good place to start. Your little daydreams about the places you wish to go and the many unique things you wish to accomplish are like tiny drops that make an ocean.

Lean in to them and the next time you enter your imaginary wardrobe, try to bring back with you a drop or two of those fantasies and begin to see how you can weave them into your reality, one thread at a time. Use your imaginations as platforms for creativity.

Yes, the dream is a very big dream, and your fantasies are crazy laudable. It is the way fantasies go, they are usually a larger than life image. Remember, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.


Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about. – Mark & Angel

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IT IS THE TOUGH TIMES THAT MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING

Good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience, and the worst days give you the best lessons. – Mark & Angel


Your life is like a book that you author alone and though you do not control the unfolding events, you control your role in them.

There was a time in my life when everything I held on to for so long began to slip from my grip and I could do nothing about it.

It felt as though I was going to lose my mind and I would cry myself to sleep. Eventually I had to let is go and move on.

Moving on wasn’t easy but I did it anyway. During that course of time, I met many obstacles along the way, a few that beat me severely, I cried in the open.

Some others where subtle, hiding beneath masking that soon wore off and I had to detour yet again.

It is easier now to talk about this here because I overcame. If I’d given in, fallen on my face and never gotten back to my feet, there would be no story to tell.

No lessons learnt and no victories won. I can talk about it only because I pulled through. Because I never gave up. Because I never cursed my darkest days.

I know that life is dotted with tough experiences, and so whatever happens I have decided to be comforted by that part of my history where the clouds were once darkest and bleakest.

I have learnt also to laugh through the most bizarre of experiences. Sometimes things can get to worse to ridiculous and the only thing left to do would be to laugh.

I have also found fortitude in prayer; form conversing with God and sharing my despair and drawing strength at the same time as I travelled along on my journey.

One tool that has helped me to literally count my blessings are my journals. In them are several accounts of where I’ve been, what I’ve seen and how each event has turned out.

Each time I read through the pages I am more than grateful to God for being there, just like he promised that he would. To never leave me nor abandon me. To be with me through deep waters and through the fire. To protect me from drowning and from burning.

My lessons would remain strong footholds in my life. Lessons like holding on to dreams, choosing your friends carefully, saying no anything that no longer defines me, walking away from negative people and relationships, staying true to my calling, and trusting my intuition.

Life lessons are priceless. They can never be bought,not with silver or with gold. They can only be acquired through tough times.


Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds. Mark & Angel

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14 WAYS TO NOT REGRET A THING IN YOUR LIFE

“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.”― Mercedes Lackey


1. Spend wisely: We each have the tendency to spend lavishly when we have money. The secret is to predetermine not to be extravagant and be prudent. No matter what is at stake, prioritize, have a weekly budget and determine to stick to it. Above all, learn to say No to sentimental triggers to spend, especially from loved ones. Delayed gratification always pay-off in the end. Tomorrow when a real need arises, they will love you more for being able to help then.

2. Save money every time you can: Money does have wings and when its gone, you can hardly account for it. Even when you can account for it, you wonder at why you had to spend so much for certain things. Discipline yourself to put money away for a long time, either true mutual funds, or with the help of a financial adviser, invest in some trusted venture. Money that isn’t stored away will be spent eventually.

3. Never have too many expectations of people or have none at all: Half of the time we are busy coloring other people all kinds of hues. And we expect them to be such and such. We expect them to speak a certain way at a certain time and when that doesn’t happen we are pissed. The only person answerable to your rules of engagement is you. Be reasonable, respect people for who they are. This is about the hardest tip on here. Still there is no harm in trying.

4. Always find a way to keep your dreams floating around you: In other to stay focused we need reminders, like a daily journal where we make notes about our daily lives; our little victories and our goals. Or a calendar or date book, where we note down all our very important to-dos or a vision board where we stick-on all kinds of pictures, notes, reminders, magazine tarots etc. Anything to remind you daily & steadily about where you are headed.

5. Have self-rule or self-government, you must have limitations of your own: We will keep tripping over ourselves if we don’t have clear cut rules and principles. If you’re not the party or the clubbing type, don’t do it because you want to make your girlfriends happy. And if you don’t enjoy going drinking alcohol or its just not ‘your thing’. Don’t do it because you suddenly realize you should live! There are many ways to catch your fun. Discover them and stick with them. There’s difference between living a lie and being adventurous. Be principled, have your point of view.

6. Always be the gracious one, be the giver: Never be the disadvantaged one. Even when you do not have the kind of money you wish to have, or are broke, jobless or sharing an apartment with a mate. Be the gracious one, the encourager, the helper, the giver, and the reasonable one. Always summon your inner power, think through your words and let your words be few. Be the sort after, the one who always knows what’s best and offers her insight with politeness.

7. Never place too much worth on things: Sometime we get too engrossed with stuff, like phones and tablets, cars, or furniture that we find ourselves lashing out heatedly at a loved one. Simply because of a scratch, crack or stain. In the end we are regretful and full of apologies and that’s if we are lucky. Sometimes we may never get the chance to take back those hurtful words no matter how sorry we are. Things can be replaced when they get shattered, but hardly can we repair the human heart once its bruised.

8. Make room for failure: It is okay to miss the target. It is okay to fall short of your deadline. It is okay to be laughed at. It is okay to be fired or jilted. It is okay to make a bluff. So long as at the end of the day, you are taking away with you, a hard learned lesson, one that would motivate to try again no matter the obstacles. Make room for tough times, they are  a part of your journey.

9. Don’t be too hard on yourself: It is good to set goals and have a calendar or timetable so long as it doesn’t become a rope around your neck. Whatever systems you put in place are to keep you motivated and on course not to sentence you and strangle you when you fall short. Stay motivated not agitated. Be easy on you, conserve your energies for greater challenges ahead.

10. Always set a goal that is bigger than you for the purpose of stretching only: When you are about to set a goal, you are usually advised to set big goals. The purpose is for you to stretch in the process of reaching that goal, not that the goal itself is an embargo on your productivity. It is not to draw blood when you don’t meet up, it is for sake of you becoming a more aware, more confident and goal oriented person. Life is about the journey no the destination.

11. Never say never to love because of heartbreak: When you shut the doors against love entirely, you put yourself susceptible to matters of the heart. You expose your life more harmful relationships more often than not because you may decide to think that so long as your heart is not involved, you are fine. The heart however is the most deceptive and slippery part of man. You cannot lie to your heart no more than you can to yourself.

12. Make it a point of duty to learn about the person you about to date: One of the easiest way to feel your beautiful life wit ‘had I knows’ & ‘If only’ is by dating someone who overpowers you by controlling you and suppressing your liberty. In most cases we are either too carried away by fluttering butterflies that we ignore all the signs. Richard Templar said, “If it walks like a duck and squawks like a duck, it is probably a duck.” Learn to read the handwriting on the wall.

13. Don’t be a people-pleaser: Mark & Angel hit the nail on the head when they said, “Learn how to say “no” to people and obligations that do not add value to your life.  Your time on this planet is precious.” Master the art of saying No to negative people, and to negative relationships, energy drainers and haters. And guess what, you don’t have to explain yourself when you do. Just say no, end of story.

14. Everything comes to an end, stay and live in the present moment: Do not get too carried away pursuing dreams that you forget to live. A life lived with fervor and deep meaning is the one that noticed the other person’s successes and found the time to congratulate him. Live life here, and now not then and there. Live life in the present. Buy someone a gift, send a text of encouragement, return a visit, sit and genuinely catch up with loved ones. Everything that truly matters is here and now, not the past, not the future, but here and now.


“Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in.”― Katherine Mansfield

here and now

THE BEST WAY TO MOVE ON IS TO MOVE ON

Yesterday I received a sad email from a very dear friend of mine. She has just broken up with her boyfriend of many years and she is hurting deeply.

I felt her pain too well because I knew exactly what she was going through. I think the saddest part of her email was the part where she explained how anxious she’d suddenly become over changing her apartment and moving to a new place.

I knew that feeling too well. And in a strange way that cut me deeper than the breakup itself. It’s hard enough to walk away from a relationship that has been on for a long time. It’s hardest when the relationship has woven itself into the very fabric of your existence. You begin to feel an overpowering urge to want to change things up with the snap of a finger. You want to change your phone number and your house address. You would even change cities if you could.

Anything to wipe out that memory card clean. The one that once held the minutest detail of you and your ex. Anything to forget he was ever part of you and that at one point in time he was the only thing you could think about and talk about and even cry over.

Anything to forget that once upon a time, he was the center of your life.

I could feel her pain and understand her anxiety because I’d been there before. Thankfully it was a couple of years ago so now I can think more objectively and speak from a place of healing and clarity.

So I replied her email. I told her it was okay to hurt, and to cry and to mourn the relationship as long as she wasn’t hurting herself further by feeling remorse or self-loath or any of the like.

I also tried to make her see that it was okay for her to want to move house and all, but that she must realize that the best move she could ever make was in her mind. The best way to move on is to move on. And it is done mentally, consciously and deliberately with the choices we are making daily not by changing our physical address.

It is all in your mind. You can remain single, confident and happy living in the same apartment, doing the same job and using the same phone line after a very disturbing breakup. Yes, it is possible.

It is also important to have a change of view after a breakup; try new experiences, change your routine and free up a little space within your living quarters. You can even move house, move into a new neighborhood, change jobs or even change cities. Smell the roses, have a new perspective to life and begin to enjoy being single again. This also is possible and as a matter of fact advisable sometimes so you can get your groove on a lot quicker.

Still, unless you have truly moved on in your inner consciousness, and holding no bounds, the latter option would only amount to a perfect finish of a facade while the interior is still a mess.

When shit hits the fan, the first thing to do is to clean up the mess, not buying of a new rug, or painting the walls. That can come later; after you have gone through the pain of taking care of the urgent.

If you are not okay, your new house will never be okay neither will the new job or the new city. If you are not completely over yourself and the breakup, the next step will always be bleak. I do know however, that getting through a breakup can be hardest and longest and that most times, the first instinct is to get away.

I want to trust that whatever decision you make would be the best decision for you, and as you go come through, remember that the most important person right now is you and that you too deserve your love more than anyone else or anything else.

So while you seek answers, remember to be kind with yourself, be gentle and be patient. Take it easy on yourself. You are in it together; you, your conscience and your heart. You all need each other. So be gentle, be reasonable and remember to be affirmative at all times.

Say the kindest words to yourself and call yourself the kindest names. We learn everyday and mostly too from mistakes. Don’t be hard on yourself. Take it easy but make sure you move on.

“FOR IRENE”

breakups

JUST SAY NO. END OF STORY.

“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” – Paulo Coelilo

I can bet that there are a ton of ladies who can identify with the negative of that statement. Me inclusive. There are more women suffering guilty and self-deprecating thoughts of always wanting to please others other than ourselves.

So that we find ourselves in gatherings, parties or other engagements that do not align with us and we end up feeling sorry for ourselves by the time its over or we regret the things we should have done but didn’t do because we had to go somewhere with someone we couldn’t say no to.

We gradually watch our lives diminish with very little confidence and gut because we are constantly blaming someone for the opportunities we missed and the chance we didn’t take.

It is a compulsive subconscious urge to self-reproach, one of self-betrayal. We make it look like we are completely helpless, that we are stuck with these people who constantly drain us and demean us.

What we must realize however, is that as long as we keep allowing these negative influences into our lives, we will keep losing grip of our ability to take hold of the reins and choose our own path.

No one has the power to make you feel inferior unless you give them the permission. When you constantly say ‘no’ to yourself and your inner truth, you give other people the permission to ruin your plans and inadvertently your life.

It is only by saying ‘no’ that you can concentrate on the things that are really important. – SPJ 1955-2011

It is okay to say no. So long as you are not saying no to your priorities, your plans, your potential and your peace of mind. As far as you are not saying no to your self-esteem, your self-confidence and your dignity, you are free to say ‘no’ to anything or anyone that volunteers otherwise.

People most of the time are not clear themselves about what they want or where they want to be so in the bid to get approval, they try to rope others into their plans and mostly they will prey on the persons they consider to be weak-willed or not having a mind of their own. They will prey on the impressionable and the wimpish but this doesn’t have to be you.

At any given moment, you have the power to say, ‘this is not how the story is going to end’. – Unknown

Decide that you will take charge of your life and that you will begin to say yes to your own priorities and values, to your own sanity and your liberty. The more you say yes to your inner truth the clearer you become about the things and or persons that do not compliment your authentic self.

You become bolder at ‘saying no’ to time wasters and busy-bodies and to negative minded people who once preyed on your ignorance. Now you know better and you don’t have to worry your head over who is upset or offended by your ‘NOs’; that becomes the least of your problems.

At every given point in time make sure you are ‘saying yes’ to yourself and ‘saying no’ to insecurity, low self-esteem and self-deprecation. Do not cower for fear of being perceived as mean or insolent either. As a matter of fact you are better off because you now see clearly, and can distinctly identify the people who need your attention, love and affection.

From now on, whenever you are faced with a situation requiring your decision or commitment and you can tell deep down that it doesn’t look like an explicit ‘yes’, just say no, end of story. Try it today; knowledge does not apply itself, we learn by doing. Begin to say No!

“If it’s not an Absolute Yes, it’s a NO.” – Cheryl Richardson

YES_NO_MAYBE

BEAUTIFUL IMPERFECTION

Broken but together, cracked but not falling apart, bitter but sweet, shaken but at peace


I am broken inside
I have survived a great crash, yet again
I have been thrown hard against the tides
I have been struck by lighting
I have been smashed against the rocks
I have been swept ashore
I am many pieces, about and without
Still I remain single, assembled, afire, astir,

I am fractured all over
I am scorched by sun, day in day out
I am frozen by night
I am constantly tauten in every instance
I am stretched thin
I am made to shrink, yet again
I am a victim of my aspirations
Still I remain single, assembled, afire, astir,

I am a vase of tulips and gall flies
I am the honeybee and the honey
I bear in my body bitter experiences, then again,
I bear in my mind sweet memories,
I am the lovely daisy,
I am alive by day and asleep at night
I am a product of two worlds
Still I remain single, assembled, afire, astir

I live in the center of insanity
I am swung north and then south
I travel through a rickety terrain
I bob along with the rapid bumps and jolts
I navigate chaotic cities and its mindless citizens in my stride
I harvest a speck of sense from their mindless babble
I am shaken about and without
Still I remain single, assembled, afire, astir

imperfectns

YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE

We can hurt
We can fight
We can deny
We can resist
We can hide
We can run
We can challenge
We can oppose
We can refuse
We can dismiss

We can’t hurt forever
We can’t fight repeatedly
We can’t deny at all times
We can’t dismiss continually
We can’t resist time after time
We can’t run endlessly
We can’t hide eternally from love

You can't hide

WAKE UP AND LIVE

It’s not about attaining your dream, it’s growing stronger through the challenges of attaining your dream and who you become through that journey

Have you ever wondered why it is often said that you are your greatest opposition and your greatest enemy? Why it is strongly believed that the most important battles in life are the battles of the mind? Why no matter what happens unless you believe in yourself very little can come out of your seemingly great efforts? Why you are constantly asked to dress the part. It is because, even though you embody this great dream or idea, you are more important than the dream or goal or idea, whatever it may be.

Often times we put too much emphasis on what we want to get, what we want to achieve and then we neglect what is most important which is, getting there. We neglect that bridge that connects us from ‘here’ to ‘there’. We forget that our ‘here’ is of as much significance as our ‘there.’  We are swayed by fantasies of the glittering ‘there’ and in an attempt to achieve this great dream, we submerge ourselves in activities rather than in growth.

Think about a child, lets say your little niece for instance, who loves to micmic roles of an actress. Every time she performs an act you laugh and pat her back, and try to encourage her fantasies by buying her things that would keep her flames alive. Still you know within yourself that it takes a grown woman to be an actress. And no matter how much she tries as a child actress, she would have to be a full grown woman, schooled thoroughly in theater, to truly become an actress.

It takes a certain kind of person to become a certain kind of person. And it takes a certain kind of person to attain a certain kind of lifestyle, or achieve a certain kind of goal. If your dream is to double your income, and earn say $5,000 as monthly income, the most important question to you, shouldn’t be about struggling for a promotion or a getting a better paying job, rather it should be thus; “Who do I need to become to earn $5000?” Other than focusing on your results, you focus on the process.

The purpose of your goal is the journey. The purpose of the pursuit is the process.

Whenever you set a new goal in life, you automatically raise the standards you operate by. With your new goal, you say to yourself, this is who I intend to become. You realize that in order to reach your goal, you must become a certain type of person. This means your goal is high up there and you are down below here and in order to reach it you must stretch. That stretch is your process, your journey; that is what is most important.

Not the $5000. Not the house by the beach. Not the fat bank account. Not fame or popularity. Instead what happens between ‘here’ and ‘there’ and who you become. That is where the transformation takes place. The exchange; that is where the price is paid. That is where you negotiate. Multi-billion dollar babies do not become billion dollar babies only because hay had a big break. They became billion dollar babies because they changed… from who they were to who they needed to be to become multi-million dollar babies.

Isn’t it obvious that the biggest reason why we never talk about what we want to become in life is become we fear being scorned and laughed at? And why are we scorned and laughed at? Why do these mediocre minds, so to speak, look you over and laugh their hardest when you tell them how you are going to build the most magnificent structure ever known to man? Simple, it is because you do not look like the sort of person who builds magnificent architectural work, even though you seem one of the best in your class.

And it isn’t so much about your appearance but your aura, your general comportment. They look at your entire make-up and they think to themselves, she must be dreaming. That is why you have to prove them wrong. And you can only do that by changing, growing, and becoming that outstanding architect. You focus more on becoming than on attaining. Allowing yourself to be totally consumed by the result of your goal can be gruesome and frustrating because you work your ass off and rake in very little rewards. Instead, you focus on becoming this awe-struck personality who achieves thus and thus a goal. That way you find that rather than fuss, you glide through your process.

We’ll never get it all done; we’ll never get it all “right”. It’s here for us to enjoy the process.

Having raised the standards in your life, you created the space you’ll need to stretch so you can reach your goal, as you stretch you change, don’t forget to enjoy the process. Don’t get too carried away working to be the part, that you forget to dress the part. That is the fun part, the dress rehearsal so to speak. When kids do make-believe, they do it with delight and with deep satisfaction. It is in that deep satisfaction that you stretch. That is where growth takes place. In the spaces where you enjoy with deep satisfaction, the little details that add up along the way.

Yes you may have to attend seminars or conferences where people who have achieved your desired milestone are found, attempt what they have done, and do what they did but far above it all is loving it while you do it. Live throughout the process don’t sleep through it and hope to suddenly wake up at the other side. You will be sorely surprised.

In this journey, you must stay awake, alive, animated. If you have to return to school, do it with fervor. If you must take a course or go on a trip to immense yourself in certain cultures or learn a new language, do it with enthusiasm and eager expectation. If you must change jobs, as you go through the process of sending out your resumes to different employers, let it be an adventure and not some boring obligation.

Who am I becoming in all of this?

Who are you becoming? Big question. Are you happier, more grateful and hopeful or are you frequently depressed, complaining, and negative every step of the way. Remember, that everything is everything; the way you do one thing is the way you will do another and consequently, who you are becoming determines the prize. You are either becoming the strong athlete who runs for the prize or you are the grumpy trainee who never makes it to the big game in the first place.

A cheerful heart and a cheerful attitude will get you to your destination faster and happier while ingratitude, complaints, blame and a disgruntled attitude will bring you disappointments, rejections and hard luck stories. What you need is a high dose of positivity and positive expectations, so that no matter how many times you fail, you know failure contributes more to your growth than anything else in the world.

Wake up and live. Be excited about your transformation and your change. Your ‘there’ is only a a few ‘heres‘ away. Enjoy this now, enjoy this moment, be grateful for today, embrace your growth. And trust me, by the time you get ‘there’ hardly will any of those laughing jackasses accept that what they see is true. They will see that you made it, and that you have become this shinning star and they will not recognize you. It is because you have grown. You have changed. You are now the sort of person who does great and amazing things.

serena-williams-wins-2013-french-open

You got to find what you LOVE!

As we come to the close of another month, I’ll like to share this piece with you. It inspires me anytime I read it and every word of it is so, so true. Many people inspire me, many things stir me to want to be better than I currently am. Like ordinary people doing extra ordinary things, like my awesome family members and their big hearts, like great books written by beautiful people, great movies with moving stories, like the author of this piece you are about to read.


“If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.”

You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.  Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.

STAY HUNGRY. STAY FOOLISH.

Selected text from the transcribed speech by Steve Jobs,
Stanford Report, June 14, 2005


I hope you’ve had an amazing July just like I’ve had.  I hope you’ve been inspired by my random musings. I hope you have learned something new. I hope you have been convinced, even if it’s just a little bit, that you are bigger inside than you could ever imagine. If you believe so, then why not, my July has certainly been awesome. Write down your goals for August, take a step of faith and reach for the stars! Be simply awesome!! XOXO

Reach for the stars