Self-confidence

Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

Writing and reading are collaborative acts in the making and performance of space-time. Readers participate; they become, partly, writers. The reader is its co-creator. – David Morley

Hi everyone! I’ve been nominated for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award by my one and only ‘Superfan’ 🙂 – Gypsyess, blogger at Wonder Of My Worlds. I only started this blog barely 3 months now so you can imagine my surprise and excitement to hear Stella say she nominated me for a world bloggers award. I was elated to say the least. Not only has her steady readership been a huge encouragement to me, it has also inspired me every time I’m about to write a new piece…I think about Stella and I say to myself, what freshness can I bring Stella’s way today? Or whenever I’m down and not feeling like my blogging is making any difference, I remember the generosity in her comments about how she is learning a lot from my musing.

If you are a writer, you would understand how these little drops here and there can make our stream gush and bubble. They are the only reason why we keep writing, because someone somewhere is feeding off our energy and is being illuminated from inside out because of our train of thought. There is no better reward for a writer.

So thank you Stella for taking the time to read, thank you for your generous comments, they hang like little medals on my computer desktop and my vision board. Thank you for your lavish and unselfish gesture of reblogging a few of my posts and thank you for nominating me for the Sisterhood of the Worlds Bloggers Award. You are just awesome! And that is an understatement. I hope that someday soon, the travel bug will cause our paths to cross. Oh, now that would be awesome!

Since I’m expected to nominate people as well, here are mine; first I will like to nominate Wonders Of My World, Stella’s blog – as far as I am concerned, she is the worlds most generous reader and writer, and since writers cannot exist without the reader, then Stella is indeed a blessing to us writers and I am a living testimony. Again if you are a dreamer like myself and you believe that dreams do come true then you should seriously visit Wonders Of my Worlds. It embodies true tales of a dreamer who has had a taste of what it means to live her dreams. And she is still dreaming. I can’t wait to see what part of the world she would be landing next 🙂

My second nomination goes to Marc & Angel Hack Life – www.marcandangel.com . They are my muse. A friend of mine recommended them when I newly started this blog and I haven’t been disappointed. If you surf through my blog you will find a few quotes from Marc & Angel. They write about self-development matters to put it simply and I tell you no one does it better. The happily married couple reach out to thousands daily and the impact they are having is such an inspiration. I want to be like them when I grow up 🙂 Visit Marc & Angel for all your self-help matters and be sure to bring home with you a lifted spirit.

I will now go on to answer the 10 questions required for nominees:

1. What inspires you most to write?

Everything. My joys, my sorrows, my victories, my failures, life’s pleasures and backlashes. Above all, my walk with God. His mercies, his kindness, his favors, his goodness, his grace, and his righteousness. I’m inspired by how I am experiencing this beautiful life God has given me to live for as long as He’s given me to live it.


2. What it your favorite thing to do in the entire world?

LOL. My favorite thing to do in the entire world is to travel & to write. I believe very strongly that the one cannot go without the other. And even though I have managed, all these years, to survive with the other i.e. with writing only, I am certain beyond all reasonable doubt that it is only a matter of time before the ‘one’ starts to unfold. After writing, my second most happiest thing to do in the world, is traveling. Like I said earlier. I am a dreamer. And I do believe dreams come through.

3. If you could travel anywhere in our beautiful world, where would it be?

That is a tough question to answer. I am torn between Rome and the city of love. Torn between pasta and fine living. Torn between the coliseums and the Tower Eiffel. If I have to choose, I guess it would be Rome.

4. What is your favorite book?

I’ve read many books in my lifetime but my favorite still remains “A Voice in the Wind” by Francine Rivers. I’m yet to read a book or any story for that matter that has moved my heart and soul like this book did. And it was there I first met Rome in person.  I’ve been hooked ever since with curiosity and deep interest. The story is a trilogy – A Voice in the Wind, An Echo in the Darkness & As Sure as the Dawn. Set in Rome, Ephesus, and ancient Germanic settlement.

5. What are you most proud of?

So far so good. This blog is my most prestigious achievement. It is one thing to say you’re a writer and it is another thing entirely to actually write. Secondly, it is one thing to say you are something and it is another thing to be that thing to the world, and then actually give off that essence and touch lives with it. This blog has given me all of that meaning in one.

6. How has your blog helped you most?

My blog has helped me to overcome my fears; my fear of not being sure if I’m good enough. My fear of ‘do I make sense’, am I making sense’, will I be heard, will I communicate, will I touch someone, and if I did, will they be better for it? I never found answers to these questions until I started this blog and that was when I truly embraced life as a writer.

7. What is your favorite childhood memory?

My favorite childhood memory was when I wrote and completed a fully illustrated book of short-stories inspired by Enid Blyton’s mini series. It was the first book I ever authored though never published. Hahaha. I took the book to boarding house one term and I would later regret it. It was the last I would see of it. It would have been such a treasured childhood souvenir had I left it in my mum’s care. I was only 8 when I wrote that book.

8. What is your biggest passion?

My biggest passion is writing. It is how I relate with myself and the world. And sometimes, it is how I talk with God.

9. Your favorite food?

My favorite food is spaghetti and all kinds of noodle food. There’s no doubt about that.

10. What is your favorite quote?

Okay this is a tough one. I have over a thousand in archive. It is hard to say. I have several that speak straight to my heart. I will like to share one on here

“Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.” ― G.K. Chesterton

 

In closing, I will like to thank Mariam Thompson at thecandidspot.wordpress.com and Kate&James at monkeypalmtree.com who both nominated Stella who nominated me. Thanks you ladies. You are all awesome sisters of my blogging worlds!!

 

And gracias to all my awesome readers. You are  co-creators of my musings. 🙂 🙂 xoxo

A Pursuit of Purpose

Standing at the center of nowhere
With eyes on a target that only the mind can see
Sniffing out a lingering scent only the heart can smell
From a place the feet has never been yet the soul recognizes
A path never before traveled yet so familiar
I follow an intimate trail from my future
My senses, I find, are perfectly au courant with my trackway
Knowing where to turn and how not to swing
What bliss, even the dead-ends are a Godsend
Then the night comes, when physical sight fails me
Nevertheless, I am guarded along the path of purpose
Steadily and steadfastly, I listen for that still small voice

IMAGINATION EQUALS IMAGE IN ACTION

Success in life is for those who are excited about where they’re going.  So find something that you love — something that gets you so excited you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning.  That’s what life is all about. – Mark & Angel


How does one stay true to dreams? By knowing exactly what you are about. Last week, I had a chat with an acquaintance. I wanted to know why she did what she did for a living. Then in the process, I realized that she was still job hunting and was only working temporarily at her current job.

I went on to ask her what kind of job she wanted and the kind of interviews she answered. After talking a while I realized that her motivation to work was because she had a goal to run a department store for everyday clothing. Her face beamed as she talked about it and I believed her.

There is always something worth while to glean off someone with a dream. Sadly though, there are a few people who tend to feel weighed by a discussion that leans towards dreams, purpose and goals. Sometimes having a good job is as far as it goes, and maybe a few other businesses by the side as alternative sources of income.

So back to our first question; How does one stay true to themselves and pursue a dream that truly defines who they are and what they should be doing? If you have trouble finding answers to what makes you happy or gives your life excitement, you can start with observing where your day dreams take you.

Everyday there is someone you dream to be, or someone you imagine you would become someday. The danger is to dismiss it as fantasy, don’t! Call it fantasy, only don’t dismiss it just yet. Fantasy is usually a good place to start. Your little daydreams about the places you wish to go and the many unique things you wish to accomplish are like tiny drops that make an ocean.

Lean in to them and the next time you enter your imaginary wardrobe, try to bring back with you a drop or two of those fantasies and begin to see how you can weave them into your reality, one thread at a time. Use your imaginations as platforms for creativity.

Yes, the dream is a very big dream, and your fantasies are crazy laudable. It is the way fantasies go, they are usually a larger than life image. Remember, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.


Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about. – Mark & Angel

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IT IS THE TOUGH TIMES THAT MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING

Good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience, and the worst days give you the best lessons. – Mark & Angel


Your life is like a book that you author alone and though you do not control the unfolding events, you control your role in them.

There was a time in my life when everything I held on to for so long began to slip from my grip and I could do nothing about it.

It felt as though I was going to lose my mind and I would cry myself to sleep. Eventually I had to let is go and move on.

Moving on wasn’t easy but I did it anyway. During that course of time, I met many obstacles along the way, a few that beat me severely, I cried in the open.

Some others where subtle, hiding beneath masking that soon wore off and I had to detour yet again.

It is easier now to talk about this here because I overcame. If I’d given in, fallen on my face and never gotten back to my feet, there would be no story to tell.

No lessons learnt and no victories won. I can talk about it only because I pulled through. Because I never gave up. Because I never cursed my darkest days.

I know that life is dotted with tough experiences, and so whatever happens I have decided to be comforted by that part of my history where the clouds were once darkest and bleakest.

I have learnt also to laugh through the most bizarre of experiences. Sometimes things can get to worse to ridiculous and the only thing left to do would be to laugh.

I have also found fortitude in prayer; form conversing with God and sharing my despair and drawing strength at the same time as I travelled along on my journey.

One tool that has helped me to literally count my blessings are my journals. In them are several accounts of where I’ve been, what I’ve seen and how each event has turned out.

Each time I read through the pages I am more than grateful to God for being there, just like he promised that he would. To never leave me nor abandon me. To be with me through deep waters and through the fire. To protect me from drowning and from burning.

My lessons would remain strong footholds in my life. Lessons like holding on to dreams, choosing your friends carefully, saying no anything that no longer defines me, walking away from negative people and relationships, staying true to my calling, and trusting my intuition.

Life lessons are priceless. They can never be bought,not with silver or with gold. They can only be acquired through tough times.


Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds. Mark & Angel

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14 WAYS TO NOT REGRET A THING IN YOUR LIFE

“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.”― Mercedes Lackey


1. Spend wisely: We each have the tendency to spend lavishly when we have money. The secret is to predetermine not to be extravagant and be prudent. No matter what is at stake, prioritize, have a weekly budget and determine to stick to it. Above all, learn to say No to sentimental triggers to spend, especially from loved ones. Delayed gratification always pay-off in the end. Tomorrow when a real need arises, they will love you more for being able to help then.

2. Save money every time you can: Money does have wings and when its gone, you can hardly account for it. Even when you can account for it, you wonder at why you had to spend so much for certain things. Discipline yourself to put money away for a long time, either true mutual funds, or with the help of a financial adviser, invest in some trusted venture. Money that isn’t stored away will be spent eventually.

3. Never have too many expectations of people or have none at all: Half of the time we are busy coloring other people all kinds of hues. And we expect them to be such and such. We expect them to speak a certain way at a certain time and when that doesn’t happen we are pissed. The only person answerable to your rules of engagement is you. Be reasonable, respect people for who they are. This is about the hardest tip on here. Still there is no harm in trying.

4. Always find a way to keep your dreams floating around you: In other to stay focused we need reminders, like a daily journal where we make notes about our daily lives; our little victories and our goals. Or a calendar or date book, where we note down all our very important to-dos or a vision board where we stick-on all kinds of pictures, notes, reminders, magazine tarots etc. Anything to remind you daily & steadily about where you are headed.

5. Have self-rule or self-government, you must have limitations of your own: We will keep tripping over ourselves if we don’t have clear cut rules and principles. If you’re not the party or the clubbing type, don’t do it because you want to make your girlfriends happy. And if you don’t enjoy going drinking alcohol or its just not ‘your thing’. Don’t do it because you suddenly realize you should live! There are many ways to catch your fun. Discover them and stick with them. There’s difference between living a lie and being adventurous. Be principled, have your point of view.

6. Always be the gracious one, be the giver: Never be the disadvantaged one. Even when you do not have the kind of money you wish to have, or are broke, jobless or sharing an apartment with a mate. Be the gracious one, the encourager, the helper, the giver, and the reasonable one. Always summon your inner power, think through your words and let your words be few. Be the sort after, the one who always knows what’s best and offers her insight with politeness.

7. Never place too much worth on things: Sometime we get too engrossed with stuff, like phones and tablets, cars, or furniture that we find ourselves lashing out heatedly at a loved one. Simply because of a scratch, crack or stain. In the end we are regretful and full of apologies and that’s if we are lucky. Sometimes we may never get the chance to take back those hurtful words no matter how sorry we are. Things can be replaced when they get shattered, but hardly can we repair the human heart once its bruised.

8. Make room for failure: It is okay to miss the target. It is okay to fall short of your deadline. It is okay to be laughed at. It is okay to be fired or jilted. It is okay to make a bluff. So long as at the end of the day, you are taking away with you, a hard learned lesson, one that would motivate to try again no matter the obstacles. Make room for tough times, they are  a part of your journey.

9. Don’t be too hard on yourself: It is good to set goals and have a calendar or timetable so long as it doesn’t become a rope around your neck. Whatever systems you put in place are to keep you motivated and on course not to sentence you and strangle you when you fall short. Stay motivated not agitated. Be easy on you, conserve your energies for greater challenges ahead.

10. Always set a goal that is bigger than you for the purpose of stretching only: When you are about to set a goal, you are usually advised to set big goals. The purpose is for you to stretch in the process of reaching that goal, not that the goal itself is an embargo on your productivity. It is not to draw blood when you don’t meet up, it is for sake of you becoming a more aware, more confident and goal oriented person. Life is about the journey no the destination.

11. Never say never to love because of heartbreak: When you shut the doors against love entirely, you put yourself susceptible to matters of the heart. You expose your life more harmful relationships more often than not because you may decide to think that so long as your heart is not involved, you are fine. The heart however is the most deceptive and slippery part of man. You cannot lie to your heart no more than you can to yourself.

12. Make it a point of duty to learn about the person you about to date: One of the easiest way to feel your beautiful life wit ‘had I knows’ & ‘If only’ is by dating someone who overpowers you by controlling you and suppressing your liberty. In most cases we are either too carried away by fluttering butterflies that we ignore all the signs. Richard Templar said, “If it walks like a duck and squawks like a duck, it is probably a duck.” Learn to read the handwriting on the wall.

13. Don’t be a people-pleaser: Mark & Angel hit the nail on the head when they said, “Learn how to say “no” to people and obligations that do not add value to your life.  Your time on this planet is precious.” Master the art of saying No to negative people, and to negative relationships, energy drainers and haters. And guess what, you don’t have to explain yourself when you do. Just say no, end of story.

14. Everything comes to an end, stay and live in the present moment: Do not get too carried away pursuing dreams that you forget to live. A life lived with fervor and deep meaning is the one that noticed the other person’s successes and found the time to congratulate him. Live life here, and now not then and there. Live life in the present. Buy someone a gift, send a text of encouragement, return a visit, sit and genuinely catch up with loved ones. Everything that truly matters is here and now, not the past, not the future, but here and now.


“Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in.”― Katherine Mansfield

here and now

5 LOVE LESSONS THAT CAN GUIDE YOU 5 YEARS AHEAD

Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clearer vision again.  Don’t settle. – Mark & Angel


1. “Relationships must be chosen wisely.  Don’t rush love.  Wait until you truly find it”: – Take it one step at a time. Take time to reflect too. Sometimes in the frenzy of the moment you do not hear everything that was said or done. It is only when you are alone, that you can put the pieces together. Look out for patterns and red flags. Don’t feel afraid to walk away if don’t like what you’re sensing. Our instincts often never lie. Don’t let your emotions overpower you and don’t deny them either. Only let your head be clear. If he is not your idle man or if he’s beginning to show traits that make you feel the slightest uneasy. Go no further. Wait. There is true love for everyone, sometimes you have to wait longer to find yours.

2. “Don’t let loneliness drive you back into the arms of someone you know you don’t belong with”: – You’ve been with someone before and you know he is all wrong, wrong for you, wrong for your peace of mind, wrong for your life, yet you go back because you need someone. I’ve heard a few whining in that direction, ‘I don’t have anyone else and I need someone…’ If that someone isn’t meant for you, there is no way it is going to get better, only worse. Save yourself from trouble, save your precious time and save your precious heart from ache that can wreck it beyond repair.

3. “Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely”: – When you are ready for love, you will know. It means you have resolve all your past conflicts, and have let go of past weights of pain, hurt, regrets and are now whole. True harmony with oneself is a platform of strength. Such inner peace can only attract to you equal peace and wholeness. There is not saying you should deny being sometimes lonely, just don’t make that your criteria for getting hooked. Wait till you are ready. A chinese proverb says, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Same goes for finding true love, when you seek love from a place of consciousness instead of hypnotizing yourself with self-made assumptions, you attract to yourself exactly the right man for you.

4. “Some relationships and situations just can’t be fixed.  If you try to force them back together, things will only get worse”: — if your relationship is going down hill for the umpteen time stop trying to rescue it by pulling it back uphill with your teeth. Let it go and get a grip of yourself before you do something to hurt yourself badly. Some relationships can’t be helped. But you can be, so save yourself and take care of yourself. Care for your physical body, feed your mind with affirmations about yourself. Don’t stop loving the things that make you special. Get your groove back.

5. “Sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something better.  Strength shows not only in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over again with a smile on your face and passion in your heart”: – Do yourself a favor and accept that every ending is a new beginning. For every door that closes, somewhere God opens a window. Never give up on life. Never give up on you. Never give up on love. That you’ve had it bad doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist for you. You have to have faith in the impossible and that can only begin to unfold for you the moment you begin to tell yourself it is okay to start over. Life is about endings and beginnings. That is what makes it so exciting. To know that somewhere out there, there is someone who is going to be madly in love with you for you.


P.S. All quotes by Mark & Angel.

Love lessons

Every Seed Takes Time To Grow, So Do Your Goals

The best time to plant a tree is 20 years year ago… – Chinese proverb


 

Time is life’s determining factor. One thing that has killed many spirits and snuffed out many brightly lit and promising lives, is impatience, unreasonable thinking and fuzziness.

Have you ever written and sent a business proposal to a client and the reply delays in coming and then you begin to fidget and become restless, not sure what to expect, you begin to anticipate the worse of scenarios?

Do you find that you have the same attitude towards your goals? Say you have written down a few things you will like to achieve within the next 24 months; like change jobs, buy a car and move into a decent neighborhood.

You send out applications and go for interviews and in the midst of it all, you  get temperamental and high-strung. Cussing the companies that call you up for a chat or those who did but didn’t call you for the job.

If this is who you are when you expect results then you are rightly being impatient and unreasonable.

Think about the trees you see around and think about the gardeners who planted them. You think that there would be any trees at all if they cussed and dug out every seed they planted out of agitation?

Think a minute about the seed and listen to this; what do you think happens when a seed is planted? I am going to take my time to share some insight I learned about seeds and germination.

When a seed is planted, any type of seed; the first thing that happens is this; the seed first announces its potential to the universe and begins to attract unto itself what it needs for growth — water, sunlight, nutrients etc. It absorbs all of these, swells, splits up, cracks open and dies so that its inner energy can sprout, breakthrough the earth, push out the dirt and grow upward.

Depending on the seed type, the time frame for this underground phases usually differ. The seed type here is synonymous to your goals, long-term, short-term or mid-term, depending on what is at stake, because sometimes we are unreasonable with our timing and deadlines.

Brian Tracy says, there are no unreasonable goals, only unreasonable deadlines. Take a Baobab tree for example; it is very slow in growing. Yet when it  does, however, the tree reaches heights of 5 to 30 metres (16 to 98 ft) and trunk diameters of 7 to 11 metres (23 to 36 ft). Plus its trunk can hold up to 120,000 litres of water.

The growth pattern of the Baobab tree teaches us a lot about patience and the potency of acknowledging the time factor. If our goals and our dreams will become any good at all, we must learn to put in the work, one day at time, trusting that the potential of our seed will shoot out in exactly the right time.

You must however plant that seed first. Believe in your dream enough to have goals, written goals with stipulated time frames. If you don’t meet your deadline, set a new one. Revisit, re-examine, re-estimate, and keep tweaking till you find what works.

When you don’t meet up to deadlines, it is not a time to cuss and kill yourself with worry. Give it time. Trust that, all the applications and the interviews will all workout one way or another. One day, it will be exactly the right time for you and nothing will stop it.


 The best time to plant a tree is 20 years year ago, the second best time is now – Chinese proverb

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LIFE IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME

Change is inevitable but personal growth is a choice – Bob Proctor


I will like to share something about time and growth that I’ve come to appreciate very much. Let’s say you are a frequent visitor of this blog and overtime you read something new, you consciously take something away. Let’s assume that before now, you rarely gave much to thought to the choices you are making and or how you spend your time.

Let’s also assume that even though you have heard severally about goal setting you have never really seen any through and quite sincerely, have never truly had goals before.

Then you begin a journey toward a worthy ideal; you say to yourself, oh, I’m going to put these things I’m learning to the test. I am going to set a goal for myself, along side that, I will also begin to take my choices and decision making a lot more seriously. I will also begin to stay conscious of time and cherish my time more.

Next you get a journal and begin to write down your goals, you big idea, and basically begin to take account of your little victories. You begin to practice saying No to anyone or anything that doesn’t align with your you or your goal.

You also begin to take more risk like you’ve never attempted before, you attend those nerve-racking events where you are required to walk the room, make new acquaintances or talk about your business in the speed networking segment.

You take the leap and even though you are a nervous wreck inside, you put on your best smile and adorn your best colors, inside and outside. You slowly begin to grow a new circle of acquaintances, friends and business pals. You develop a new interest in books and self-development materials by gurus like John C. Maxwell & Brian Tracy.

Slowly but steadily you realize that many of your dreams which you once relegated as mere fantasies or have completely forgotten about begin to resurface in your mind. You are stirred up by a new enthusiasm. Your life has a new zip to it and you suddenly know what it is you want out of life and how you want to go about this new goal of yours.

The picture gets clearer and less blurrier by the day. You fill up one journal, then another. You find that your once very shy and introverted self has now become the life of every social gathering you find yourself. You find yourself taking the grand stage and carrying others along.

You are embracing your new intentions, to be focused and goal, to be clear in your choices, to take charge of your life, to appreciate and utilize your opportunities, to associate with people who grow you, to invest your time wisely and staying happy in spite of the odds.

Then one day, from the blue, you meet an old acquaintance and you guys have lunch, then she says to you, whoa, you are so different, I almost didn’t recognize you when I saw you, and now I can hardly believe you are the same person I’ve been talking  with all afternoon. You are different. There is something new and fresh about you.

The following week, your old acquaintance refers you to a top organization who in turn call you up for an interview for one of their top management positions. You go and you’re taken. You begin and your finance is transformed almost immediately. You take a look at your journal and you realize that you have not only exceeded a your 12 month goal in six months, you have also begun ticking off the 2 year goals.

You sit back and you wonder when and how you got there. You try to understand what it was you did differently, you reflect on the events of synchronicities and think to yourself that each of the steps you have taken weren’t exactly rocket science. Which is true; it only took a little shift of your mind and attention to make the huge difference.

It also didn’t happen overnight. You remember quite vividly it was about two birthdays ago that you made a true resolution to change your life and begin to apply the tips you read on my blog. You smile and decidedly concluded that they work after all. That one can begin to make a difference in their lives if they decided to.

You can tell just by looking at your life. You cannot explain how it happened, but you can tell for yourself that your life is different. That is the thing about time  I thought you should know.

Though this is only a theoretical example, you can decide that this could be your story. You can begin to take your life more seriously and apply the things you read here to your life. Start here, start now. Persistence + Consistency + Time = successful results.


 

  “The body grows slowly and steadily but the soul grows by leaps and bounds. It may come to its full stature in an hour.” ― L.M. Montgomery

Success is time

Rachel McAdams in movie – Morning Glory… One of my favs about believing in dreams!!

 

Bless The Past & Say Hello to Your Future

You have to make peace with your past in order to keep your present and future from becoming hopeless battles. – Mark & Angel


I spent some quality time with my mum today. Talking about the challenges I’ve had in the work environment and sharing the victimizing experiences I’d had with former work colleagues over the years. I found myself laughing as I recounted the bizarre stories, and quietly but briefly, relived a few of the demeaning and humiliating moments.

I felt sweet gratitude wash over me as I shared these incidences because somehow it was hard to believe that I actually did survive them. I felt immensely thankful that they would now forever remain in my past.

I also felt hopeful about the future, knowing that the lessons I’ve learnt can only bring me good and gracious rewards. Just hearing myself laugh as I related these stories of meanness gave me a sense of contentment and tranquility that meant I was at peace with that part of my past.

Another thing that was so comforting during the conversation with my mum was hearing her share about her own sordid experiences in the work place. Many years ago as a young military corporal, and practicing Dental nurse, she had the devil for a boss.

She told me about the unrelenting sexual harassment and unwarranted punishments she had to endure and eventually, foregoing a promising career was the only way to end the continuing coercion.

Years later, she would later to be told by friends and former colleagues, about how the said officer was paid back in his own coin and severely too by time and chance. At the time, she had regained back her profession, and had had many more promising opportunities, some of which she voluntarily relinquished because she wanted to spend more time with us her children.

Today I’m reminded again, that life itself has got its own memory bank where it stores our dos and don’ts and then processes our wages alike. In due time it will give to each of us a corresponding feedback. Everyone in his own coin.

In this regard, I am reminded to consider my present moments as blessings, no matter how they turns out, because I know one day they would be my past. I am reminded also to bless the hardest and toughest of memories and to never hold on to pain, rather release them completely.

My mum also shared about another very disturbing encounter of victimization which she suffered from the hands of two female instructors at the Army Training School in Ojo cantonment, Lagos; in the 1970s. I wasn’t born at the time.

They were both her junior in age but she never spoke back in defense nor did she act rudely in any way. She was the only girl in her class, and for some reason, these instructors decided that they would make her life a living hell. In an attempt to explain how cruel they were, mum said that the only thing that kept her going was because she was bent on becoming a dental nurse by all means. Otherwise under normal circumstances, she would have quit.

Unbeknownst to them my mum’s uncle was a LT. Colonel at the time and as a result she had the acquaintance of several officers who knew her to be his niece. Still she never for once, did she fight back. Least of all make a boast or threaten to use her connections against these female instructors.

They would finally come to this knowledge during an unfortunate encounter with a third party and senior officer who witnessed the ill treatment they rendered to my mum. It was only then that the mistreatment stopped.

Several years down the line, their paths would cross again; they met at the military hospital in Yaba. Mum was visiting an old military acquaintance who worked there as a senior nurse. The story that ensues is one of soberness and regret with tons of apologies to my mum.

That nothing truly goes unnoticed will be my solemn conclusion from these stories. Life sucks it all in into its master memory board and each one of us must tread carefully as each step is a written code in that drive.

How about me and you? We too have also played our sordid roles one way or the other; somehow we have hurt others, mistreated another and betrayed some. Though the memories remain in the past, even so that past too should be blessed and released.

Today as you reminisce upon your own toughest and most engraving encounters, remember to bless them and release them, so that you can embrace the future. Life is too short to hold on to pain and too brief to hold back from liberation.


 

Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clearer vision – Mark & Angel

Bless the past