Tough choices

IMAGINATION EQUALS IMAGE IN ACTION

Success in life is for those who are excited about where they’re going.  So find something that you love — something that gets you so excited you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning.  That’s what life is all about. – Mark & Angel


How does one stay true to dreams? By knowing exactly what you are about. Last week, I had a chat with an acquaintance. I wanted to know why she did what she did for a living. Then in the process, I realized that she was still job hunting and was only working temporarily at her current job.

I went on to ask her what kind of job she wanted and the kind of interviews she answered. After talking a while I realized that her motivation to work was because she had a goal to run a department store for everyday clothing. Her face beamed as she talked about it and I believed her.

There is always something worth while to glean off someone with a dream. Sadly though, there are a few people who tend to feel weighed by a discussion that leans towards dreams, purpose and goals. Sometimes having a good job is as far as it goes, and maybe a few other businesses by the side as alternative sources of income.

So back to our first question; How does one stay true to themselves and pursue a dream that truly defines who they are and what they should be doing? If you have trouble finding answers to what makes you happy or gives your life excitement, you can start with observing where your day dreams take you.

Everyday there is someone you dream to be, or someone you imagine you would become someday. The danger is to dismiss it as fantasy, don’t! Call it fantasy, only don’t dismiss it just yet. Fantasy is usually a good place to start. Your little daydreams about the places you wish to go and the many unique things you wish to accomplish are like tiny drops that make an ocean.

Lean in to them and the next time you enter your imaginary wardrobe, try to bring back with you a drop or two of those fantasies and begin to see how you can weave them into your reality, one thread at a time. Use your imaginations as platforms for creativity.

Yes, the dream is a very big dream, and your fantasies are crazy laudable. It is the way fantasies go, they are usually a larger than life image. Remember, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.


Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about. – Mark & Angel

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SOMEONE SOMEWHERE LOVES YOU IN SPITE OF IT ALL

“That’s what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you’re not so lovable.”― Deb Caletti


The most memorable people in your life will be the ones who loved you when you weren’t very loveable.  Pay attention to who these people are in your life, and love them back, even when they aren’t acting lovable. – Mark & Angel

Today I want you to think about your life and see if there are any such people as mentioned in the quote above. Perhaps you can already count a couple and a faint smile is beginning to curve the corners of your lips.

I will like to try and bring to you attention a few people you may not consider as part of your list. Yet they are there, loving you helplessly and hopelessly. You probably don’t see them often or notice them enough to know how madly in love they are with you.

I am talking about your little niece and your little nephew, who literally worship the ground you walk on. They are hysterical and nuts whenever you are around and wont let you see the light of day because they want to tell you about the newest video game their dad has just downloaded for them.

I am talking about your loving siblings, the ones you constantly fight tooth and nail with every other week. There has never been a decent phone conversation between you guys. They are either pestering your life with their needs or with their presence. Visiting you when it is most inconvenient and you can’t wait for them to leave so you have your space back.

I am talking about your beloved dad, the one whose calls you  always avoide and the one with whom the best line of conversation was always about the stock exchange and how you won’t be staying home longer than a couple of days.

I am talking about your loving mother. The one you constantly send money to but never have any real conversation with and the only time you ring her phone is to tell her how sorry you are that you can’t be home for Christmas, yet again.

It is easy to loose sight of what matters especially when they are people very close to us, sometimes we go through many phases without speaking to members of our family. And it becomes normal because we believe the subtle lie that family is more of a burden than a joy. That family is far from perfect. Well, isn’t everyone else?

Today I want to remind you about the people who probably love you the dearest. I hope this is true for you. And if it is, begin to take deliberate action and start caring more for your family. They are the people who love you even when you aren’t lovable. Remember to return to the favor…


“I don’t care about whose DNA has recombined with whose. When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching–they are your family.”― Jim Butcher

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14 WAYS TO NOT REGRET A THING IN YOUR LIFE

“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.”― Mercedes Lackey


1. Spend wisely: We each have the tendency to spend lavishly when we have money. The secret is to predetermine not to be extravagant and be prudent. No matter what is at stake, prioritize, have a weekly budget and determine to stick to it. Above all, learn to say No to sentimental triggers to spend, especially from loved ones. Delayed gratification always pay-off in the end. Tomorrow when a real need arises, they will love you more for being able to help then.

2. Save money every time you can: Money does have wings and when its gone, you can hardly account for it. Even when you can account for it, you wonder at why you had to spend so much for certain things. Discipline yourself to put money away for a long time, either true mutual funds, or with the help of a financial adviser, invest in some trusted venture. Money that isn’t stored away will be spent eventually.

3. Never have too many expectations of people or have none at all: Half of the time we are busy coloring other people all kinds of hues. And we expect them to be such and such. We expect them to speak a certain way at a certain time and when that doesn’t happen we are pissed. The only person answerable to your rules of engagement is you. Be reasonable, respect people for who they are. This is about the hardest tip on here. Still there is no harm in trying.

4. Always find a way to keep your dreams floating around you: In other to stay focused we need reminders, like a daily journal where we make notes about our daily lives; our little victories and our goals. Or a calendar or date book, where we note down all our very important to-dos or a vision board where we stick-on all kinds of pictures, notes, reminders, magazine tarots etc. Anything to remind you daily & steadily about where you are headed.

5. Have self-rule or self-government, you must have limitations of your own: We will keep tripping over ourselves if we don’t have clear cut rules and principles. If you’re not the party or the clubbing type, don’t do it because you want to make your girlfriends happy. And if you don’t enjoy going drinking alcohol or its just not ‘your thing’. Don’t do it because you suddenly realize you should live! There are many ways to catch your fun. Discover them and stick with them. There’s difference between living a lie and being adventurous. Be principled, have your point of view.

6. Always be the gracious one, be the giver: Never be the disadvantaged one. Even when you do not have the kind of money you wish to have, or are broke, jobless or sharing an apartment with a mate. Be the gracious one, the encourager, the helper, the giver, and the reasonable one. Always summon your inner power, think through your words and let your words be few. Be the sort after, the one who always knows what’s best and offers her insight with politeness.

7. Never place too much worth on things: Sometime we get too engrossed with stuff, like phones and tablets, cars, or furniture that we find ourselves lashing out heatedly at a loved one. Simply because of a scratch, crack or stain. In the end we are regretful and full of apologies and that’s if we are lucky. Sometimes we may never get the chance to take back those hurtful words no matter how sorry we are. Things can be replaced when they get shattered, but hardly can we repair the human heart once its bruised.

8. Make room for failure: It is okay to miss the target. It is okay to fall short of your deadline. It is okay to be laughed at. It is okay to be fired or jilted. It is okay to make a bluff. So long as at the end of the day, you are taking away with you, a hard learned lesson, one that would motivate to try again no matter the obstacles. Make room for tough times, they are  a part of your journey.

9. Don’t be too hard on yourself: It is good to set goals and have a calendar or timetable so long as it doesn’t become a rope around your neck. Whatever systems you put in place are to keep you motivated and on course not to sentence you and strangle you when you fall short. Stay motivated not agitated. Be easy on you, conserve your energies for greater challenges ahead.

10. Always set a goal that is bigger than you for the purpose of stretching only: When you are about to set a goal, you are usually advised to set big goals. The purpose is for you to stretch in the process of reaching that goal, not that the goal itself is an embargo on your productivity. It is not to draw blood when you don’t meet up, it is for sake of you becoming a more aware, more confident and goal oriented person. Life is about the journey no the destination.

11. Never say never to love because of heartbreak: When you shut the doors against love entirely, you put yourself susceptible to matters of the heart. You expose your life more harmful relationships more often than not because you may decide to think that so long as your heart is not involved, you are fine. The heart however is the most deceptive and slippery part of man. You cannot lie to your heart no more than you can to yourself.

12. Make it a point of duty to learn about the person you about to date: One of the easiest way to feel your beautiful life wit ‘had I knows’ & ‘If only’ is by dating someone who overpowers you by controlling you and suppressing your liberty. In most cases we are either too carried away by fluttering butterflies that we ignore all the signs. Richard Templar said, “If it walks like a duck and squawks like a duck, it is probably a duck.” Learn to read the handwriting on the wall.

13. Don’t be a people-pleaser: Mark & Angel hit the nail on the head when they said, “Learn how to say “no” to people and obligations that do not add value to your life.  Your time on this planet is precious.” Master the art of saying No to negative people, and to negative relationships, energy drainers and haters. And guess what, you don’t have to explain yourself when you do. Just say no, end of story.

14. Everything comes to an end, stay and live in the present moment: Do not get too carried away pursuing dreams that you forget to live. A life lived with fervor and deep meaning is the one that noticed the other person’s successes and found the time to congratulate him. Live life here, and now not then and there. Live life in the present. Buy someone a gift, send a text of encouragement, return a visit, sit and genuinely catch up with loved ones. Everything that truly matters is here and now, not the past, not the future, but here and now.


“Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in.”― Katherine Mansfield

here and now

ANGER MANAGEMENT 101

The man who cannot control his anger is like a city without walls – Proverbs 25:28


When people are rude to your or talk carelessly with very little restraint it usually because they too have only received judgements and accusations from the world.

The thing however is not so much that the world handed them misjudgments and ill treatments, but that in the process of being underrated, they chose to absorb the hurt rather than reject it.

Therefore, it would be  wise to not overreact when certain people blowout on you. While you tell yourself that there is absolutely no cause to react, also remember not to stay too long in the poisoned atmosphere or it’s only a matter of time before you too are infected by the same misjudgment.

The next time the cashier at the supermarket or the front desk secretary acts up again, other than muttering ‘bitch’, remember this lesson and be grateful that you can understand her better.

Choose to be uninfluenced. Be the gracious one. Kindness is the magic touch. Some people may want to resist this as well, don’t cuss and say, ‘Ha! I was even being nice!’ Just smile and go your way. They probably do not know how to react to kindness either. Thank God you can and that you even know how to express it.


Most people can only give others what they have received themselves – Mark & Angel

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A TALE OF TWO CITIES

Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your children might live! – Deuteronomy 30:19


Light and darkness
Truth and lies
Positive and negative
White and black
True or false
Up and down
Good and evil
Right or wrong
Happy and sad
Peace and war
Birth or murder
Beginning and end
Laughter or sorrow
Blessing or curse
Wisdom and folly
Abundance and Scarcity
Wealth and penury
Riches and poverty
Health or disease
Above or beneath
Love and hate
Pleasure or hardship
Enjoyment and suffering
Success and failure
Contentment or misery
Generous or miserly
Joyful or miserable
Life and death


There are no grey shades, only black or white – Bukkie Allison

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Bless The Past & Say Hello to Your Future

You have to make peace with your past in order to keep your present and future from becoming hopeless battles. – Mark & Angel


I spent some quality time with my mum today. Talking about the challenges I’ve had in the work environment and sharing the victimizing experiences I’d had with former work colleagues over the years. I found myself laughing as I recounted the bizarre stories, and quietly but briefly, relived a few of the demeaning and humiliating moments.

I felt sweet gratitude wash over me as I shared these incidences because somehow it was hard to believe that I actually did survive them. I felt immensely thankful that they would now forever remain in my past.

I also felt hopeful about the future, knowing that the lessons I’ve learnt can only bring me good and gracious rewards. Just hearing myself laugh as I related these stories of meanness gave me a sense of contentment and tranquility that meant I was at peace with that part of my past.

Another thing that was so comforting during the conversation with my mum was hearing her share about her own sordid experiences in the work place. Many years ago as a young military corporal, and practicing Dental nurse, she had the devil for a boss.

She told me about the unrelenting sexual harassment and unwarranted punishments she had to endure and eventually, foregoing a promising career was the only way to end the continuing coercion.

Years later, she would later to be told by friends and former colleagues, about how the said officer was paid back in his own coin and severely too by time and chance. At the time, she had regained back her profession, and had had many more promising opportunities, some of which she voluntarily relinquished because she wanted to spend more time with us her children.

Today I’m reminded again, that life itself has got its own memory bank where it stores our dos and don’ts and then processes our wages alike. In due time it will give to each of us a corresponding feedback. Everyone in his own coin.

In this regard, I am reminded to consider my present moments as blessings, no matter how they turns out, because I know one day they would be my past. I am reminded also to bless the hardest and toughest of memories and to never hold on to pain, rather release them completely.

My mum also shared about another very disturbing encounter of victimization which she suffered from the hands of two female instructors at the Army Training School in Ojo cantonment, Lagos; in the 1970s. I wasn’t born at the time.

They were both her junior in age but she never spoke back in defense nor did she act rudely in any way. She was the only girl in her class, and for some reason, these instructors decided that they would make her life a living hell. In an attempt to explain how cruel they were, mum said that the only thing that kept her going was because she was bent on becoming a dental nurse by all means. Otherwise under normal circumstances, she would have quit.

Unbeknownst to them my mum’s uncle was a LT. Colonel at the time and as a result she had the acquaintance of several officers who knew her to be his niece. Still she never for once, did she fight back. Least of all make a boast or threaten to use her connections against these female instructors.

They would finally come to this knowledge during an unfortunate encounter with a third party and senior officer who witnessed the ill treatment they rendered to my mum. It was only then that the mistreatment stopped.

Several years down the line, their paths would cross again; they met at the military hospital in Yaba. Mum was visiting an old military acquaintance who worked there as a senior nurse. The story that ensues is one of soberness and regret with tons of apologies to my mum.

That nothing truly goes unnoticed will be my solemn conclusion from these stories. Life sucks it all in into its master memory board and each one of us must tread carefully as each step is a written code in that drive.

How about me and you? We too have also played our sordid roles one way or the other; somehow we have hurt others, mistreated another and betrayed some. Though the memories remain in the past, even so that past too should be blessed and released.

Today as you reminisce upon your own toughest and most engraving encounters, remember to bless them and release them, so that you can embrace the future. Life is too short to hold on to pain and too brief to hold back from liberation.


 

Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clearer vision – Mark & Angel

Bless the past

THE BEST WAY TO MOVE ON IS TO MOVE ON

Yesterday I received a sad email from a very dear friend of mine. She has just broken up with her boyfriend of many years and she is hurting deeply.

I felt her pain too well because I knew exactly what she was going through. I think the saddest part of her email was the part where she explained how anxious she’d suddenly become over changing her apartment and moving to a new place.

I knew that feeling too well. And in a strange way that cut me deeper than the breakup itself. It’s hard enough to walk away from a relationship that has been on for a long time. It’s hardest when the relationship has woven itself into the very fabric of your existence. You begin to feel an overpowering urge to want to change things up with the snap of a finger. You want to change your phone number and your house address. You would even change cities if you could.

Anything to wipe out that memory card clean. The one that once held the minutest detail of you and your ex. Anything to forget he was ever part of you and that at one point in time he was the only thing you could think about and talk about and even cry over.

Anything to forget that once upon a time, he was the center of your life.

I could feel her pain and understand her anxiety because I’d been there before. Thankfully it was a couple of years ago so now I can think more objectively and speak from a place of healing and clarity.

So I replied her email. I told her it was okay to hurt, and to cry and to mourn the relationship as long as she wasn’t hurting herself further by feeling remorse or self-loath or any of the like.

I also tried to make her see that it was okay for her to want to move house and all, but that she must realize that the best move she could ever make was in her mind. The best way to move on is to move on. And it is done mentally, consciously and deliberately with the choices we are making daily not by changing our physical address.

It is all in your mind. You can remain single, confident and happy living in the same apartment, doing the same job and using the same phone line after a very disturbing breakup. Yes, it is possible.

It is also important to have a change of view after a breakup; try new experiences, change your routine and free up a little space within your living quarters. You can even move house, move into a new neighborhood, change jobs or even change cities. Smell the roses, have a new perspective to life and begin to enjoy being single again. This also is possible and as a matter of fact advisable sometimes so you can get your groove on a lot quicker.

Still, unless you have truly moved on in your inner consciousness, and holding no bounds, the latter option would only amount to a perfect finish of a facade while the interior is still a mess.

When shit hits the fan, the first thing to do is to clean up the mess, not buying of a new rug, or painting the walls. That can come later; after you have gone through the pain of taking care of the urgent.

If you are not okay, your new house will never be okay neither will the new job or the new city. If you are not completely over yourself and the breakup, the next step will always be bleak. I do know however, that getting through a breakup can be hardest and longest and that most times, the first instinct is to get away.

I want to trust that whatever decision you make would be the best decision for you, and as you go come through, remember that the most important person right now is you and that you too deserve your love more than anyone else or anything else.

So while you seek answers, remember to be kind with yourself, be gentle and be patient. Take it easy on yourself. You are in it together; you, your conscience and your heart. You all need each other. So be gentle, be reasonable and remember to be affirmative at all times.

Say the kindest words to yourself and call yourself the kindest names. We learn everyday and mostly too from mistakes. Don’t be hard on yourself. Take it easy but make sure you move on.

“FOR IRENE”

breakups

7 Things You Should Never Compromise In Life

    “One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.” ― Jeanne d’Arc


Having rule over your life is like running a personal government with your self where you determine the rules of engagement. It is important to have certain principles you live by; they are like your ‘yeses’ and they determine what the ‘NOs’ would be. They are the solid rock upon which everything else is founded, the foundation that forms the underlying basis of your entire life. They are like written codes of conduct that must never be comprised by you and neither would you give anyone the permission to question your resolve on the matter.

1.    Your Faith: Being a christian myself, faith here stands for the profession of faith in Christ as the son of God. Faith also stands for the scriptures; the prophets in the bible, the gospels, the apostles and all the ordinances by which we are expected to live by. Faith represents the life of sacrifice we are expected to emulated which was exemplified by christ in scripture. Faith represents the power of the gospel which is able to save and give eternal life. This I cannot compromise. A man’s faith has the power to direct the entire course of his life, acting ever so subtly yet powerfully.

2.    True Love: True love is perhaps the second most influential principle anyone should never trade, not for a false security, not for material gain, not for a disguised comfort. True love should be valued highly and revered. It should be believed that it exists and it should be expected to manifest come what may. It should never be relinquished neither should it be renounced. One must always believe in their ability to love and accept that they too in turn deserve to be loved.

3.    Family: Family are your first friends, first companions, first encouragers as well as first discouragers. They are your first crowd and your first judges. They are also your threshing floor and your quarry. Your true test for charity begins at home. Family should be the one place where your security is certain, where love is never lacking and where the fire should never go out especially in winter. Family is the place where you are clothed with blankets, nursed back to good health and given warm food even when you hit rock bottom. Family is the only place where you stand bare chested and walk barefooted not expecting to be stabbed or trapped. Family is the one place were our vulnerability is bare before all; where we can be loser then winner, villain and then hero. We can prodigal and then be molded into the good son. Family is our succor and our forerunner; the predecessor that prepares us for the families we will eventually raise. Never turn your back on your family, no matter what. Love never fails.

4.    Your Passion: Your passion make up the hot coals that warm your heart and brighten up your eyes. They make your hands firm and swift from continuous engagement and tough from repeated trial and error. They give life to weakened muscles and clothe your dry bones with flesh. Your passion gives your life a meaning. Like clean fresh water drawn from a deep well, your passion draws out from within you the very source of livelihood and nourishment. When you are patched and dry, your passion is a living stream watering the coarse grounds of the desert. When you are a budding garden, your passion is a living stream; like the garden of eden, the river which watered it flowed from within itself. Your passion is a gift from God, a gifting planted within you to give you both pleasure and essence, so that you can in turn give the world pleasure and essence. Never trade your passion for anything, not for gold, not for silver. There is nothing that compares to it. It is a life source, upon which many souls are dependent even yours.

5.    The Truth: What is truth? What is false? What is agreeable? What is acceptable? What is right and what is wrong? What is permissible what is resistible? Our world is gravely evolving and values and norms we once accepted as proper, like the family unit for example is daily being mutilated and subtly being relegated as secondary. While other poignant and shamed practices that we never could own up to even in the darkness of our minds are now being celebrated and tolerated in the open. Homosexuality and same sex marriages have taken center stage as a human rights attribute. It is becoming the voice of the majority to absorb a pattern simply because it is radically advancing and occupying our spaces. It is no longer a question of whether it is right or wrong. In the face of viral perversion and criminal artistry, where does your vote go? Is it secretly to endorse this merciless evil or do you vote openly to denounce it with every ounce of your sanity? The truth cannot be relative, white is never relative, it is either white or black or grey, if it isn’t white then it is black or grey. Grey can never take the place of white and call its self relative. It is either the truth or a lie. Always stand for the truth. Our future depends on it.

6.    Your Dream: Who are you and why are you here? What is your mission here on earth. Are you here as a consumer, or a servant. Are you here to satisfy your belly and be gratified alone or are you here to make a difference? What is your work and why do you do what you do? Is it just for the cheddar; why do you work so hard? Why do rise early and why do stay up late at night? What problems are you solving or what solutions are you creating? How many lives are you changing, what services are you offering? Your calling is your purpose, it is that problem you were created to fix. Who are your beneficiaries and what are your special gifts to your generation? No matter how tough it gets, never give up on your dream, never trade your calling, never shove aside the very reason of your existence.

7.    Your Time: We are all different and each one is unique in his or her own way. We are all sojourners here on earth, renting temporary time amounting to 24 hours each per day. Each day we are credited with another fresh set of 24 hours, with no carryovers from the previous day. We can neither bank or save from what we receive daily, and the only way to profit greatly from each chunk of 24 hours we are given is to invest it wisely by the way we think, what we say and what we do. Never compromise your share of eternity’s daily generous offerings. Don’t grub it up ravenously that you don’t remember what the heck you did with it. They are life seeds meant to be planted. Instead, get to work, put your seeds to the ground, to the test, and expect a good harvest.

Your beliefs are your basis, your truth, your essence, your beginning and your ending. Everything you are and will ever be rises and falls on your beliefs. Life is too short. Therefore it would be menace to live carelessly, and live our lives as we wish without caring for right or wrong, what is acceptable by one’s standard’s and what isn’t. It is only by having beliefs that each person is able to determine for himself what paths he must follow and in whose company, so that our beliefs and our principles can stand the test of time.


Never compromise your values – Steve Maraboli

Lifestory

7 DEADLY SINS

You can be whatever you chose, that is true. You can chose your path, you can take on whatever pursuit that gives you pleasure, that is also true. If you believe anything is possible, that is the way inventions were created by great minds. However, there is one general clause, one question that sums it all in one — to what end? Is it for good a good cause or is it simply for self-gratification? Within every man is the potential to be either good or evil, to exude light or be consumed by darkness. We live in times that threaten to erode man of his conscience, will you be victim or victor?

1. Wealth without work
Many want to have lots of money. Many wish to live the good life – La Dolce Vita! Many desire to have the poshest of stuff and live in comfort, good health and abundance. How many have written-goals or how many have goals towards a worthy ideal? Our greatest asset is our mind and from harnessing this great power come the secret to great riches. Yet as simple as that may sound, many still do not find it easy. It requires man to think and thinking itself can be hard work. The ability to stay on a puzzle long enough to bring it to fruition is definitely not a walk in the park. It requires discipline; to persist, to stay consistent, to believe and to consciously shut out from your consciousness anything that tells you your goal is unachievable. What then is a goal? A goal is the pursuit of purpose done within the constraints of time. It is an unwavering desire to give to humanity something special, something that is a piece of yourself. When goals aren’t properly defined and priorities are misplaced, when the means becomes an end, then men begin to indulge in all kinds of misfits which become a glitch in the system, causing more harm than good. To want wealth without paying the price of hard work, is like being a stillborn — the light is snatched away from it before it is ever given a chance to breathe. It is sucked into the darkness from the womb. Nothing good can come from a stillborn. Only darkness, weeping, and mourning.

2. Pleasure without conscience
We are spiritual beings living in a physical body. We are living in a temporary space with borrowed time. What rocks out world is our ability to love, to be compassionate and to create solutions. That is what sums up our humanity; our ability to feel, to sense, and to believe. It is the extraordinary things we dare and the remarkable risks we take to be that difference, to impart the next generation, to heal, to mend, to forgive, that gives our lives meaning. It is not in the accumulation of wealth or in amassing treasures. It is not found in narcissism nor is it in revelry, in orgies and in extreme indulgences. When we immerse ourselves into pleasure rather than service what we gain in return is a patched soul, lean, drained and whitened as though the blood had been literally sucked out from us. We become a shadow of ourselves. Without conscience we become brute beasts, chasing and devouring prey after prey, seeking to consume only, having no beliefs, no principles, no standards.

3. Science without humanity
The science evolution is a perfect proof that man can do anything and be anything he wishes so long as he believes it is possible and  is determined to stay on the cause of his pursuits. Through reckless living we have endangered our world and with each disaster we allow, a greater evil is ignited and in the process is a loop of inexorable catastrophe. We are in a viscous circle, quietly going mad with our genius yet desperately yearning to showoff our ingeniousness. In an attempt to give expression to our brilliance and life to our creation, we have more often than not created a monster and have unintentionally made one another the victims. When purpose is overcome by ambition and service by self-gratification the result is usually chaos, confusion, and war.

4. Knowledge without character
King Solomon in the bible said, ‘Of making many books , there is no end, and too much study wearies the body’…  Which much knowledge comes great responsibilities. What shame it would be for us to know what is acceptable, what is tolerable, what is needful and yet live ourselves beneath the very principles that govern us. With knowledge comes growth and change. What horror it would be to subject ourselves to deformation rather than formation. To have knowledge without character is like allowing a children run free with a loaded ammunition — just think what might ensue in the process — especially since he has an idea of what it is. Knowledge without character is a social disaster.

5. Politics without principle
Mankind has never been more puppeteered by a greater force — politics. Man also has never demonstrated a greater crave for power and influence like he has through politics. It is true that mankind needs governance and guidance otherwise anarchy would be the other of the day. Still what is truer is that mankind is in dire need of good governance; governance within reason, that is logical and that has soul. Governance that demonstrates fundamental truths and systems of belief without depriving the people of their rights and their freedom. Politics that milks the people it is meant to serve and ruins the very foundations of their beliefs and norms is malicious and unkind. Politics that is built upon the innocence and suppressed voice of the masses is foul and detestable. Politics that is drunken with orgy is offensive and politics that is blood thirsty is abominable and objectionable.

6. Commerce without morality
I have often heard this debate over money; when can one call a transaction a rip-off? Is it when the merchant has conveniently sold a low quality merchandise with an outrageous gain or is it when a high quality article is sold at an overtly costly price? If the merchant can find buyers for his highly priced, high quality merchandise, would it still be a rip-off? This sixth unforgivable sin reminds me sorely of Lagos, where commerce is no longer an activity but a god, an idol; one that requires a worship quite similar to the worship of Chemosh, the ancient Moabite god. Chemosh requires humans to sacrifice their loved ones by burning them alive. An act of obsession that completely smears the human of his conscience and humanness, so that what is left of him is merely his own fixation and fetish for villainous profits.

7. Worship without sacrifice.
Here is the law of substitution calling for audience. If worship truly is full surrender to an unseen force, where our will becomes secondary then sacrifice will become second nature to us. Faith is rooted in the solid rock of belief and faith requires us to launch into unknown territories believing we will grow our adaptabilities as we move along. Worship is an act of faith. It is believing that in spite of our unworthy humanity, we can become worthy. It is believing that in spite of what we may consider valuable and of great importance, we can attempt to relinquish our comfort believing that as we cast our bread upon the waters, we do not lose but gain, even though the profit might take many days in appearing.

Our purpose is rooted in service. Our goals should be governed by discipline. Our profit should be the deep satisfaction that springs from fulfillment. Let us make belief the driving force towards the impossible. Let us also allow our process to give us form and mold us into character. Let us remember to listen to our conscience and our intuition. Let us give room for the still small voice within us, for it has enormous potential to stir us away from becoming immoral, malicious and numb.

“’Seven Deadly Sins’
Wealth without work
Pleasure without conscience
Science without humanity
Knowledge without character
Politics without principle
Commerce without morality
Worship without sacrifice.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

candlelight

Shush!! I Have Something To Say…

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use. ~Søren Kierkegaard


Victory is usually birth in silence, sometimes in darkness or in a cave dimly lit by a candle. It is not won in the open, with the parade of horses and shining swords. Most of all, victory isn’t found in a multitude of words.

King Solomon in the bible said, “The man that has no control over his tongue is like a city without a fence.” Picture that. What does that tell you? It tells you that there is something more eminent required to win a battle or overcome any challenge for that matter.

The reason we often fail is because we are too quick to speak, too eager to show off, too restless to stay still. If we can find the discipline to save our grand speech for later and harness the power of silence, solitude and observation, we will be surprised at our own confidence and overall success.

When you find yourself in harrowing times of conflict, racketing misunderstandings and disturbing accusations, it is not the time to put on a show and brag about your cunning intelligence. Sometimes cunningness is mostly effective in silence.

Moments of chaos and confusion are usually the best time to think. That is when you withdraw into your subconscious to seek guidance. It is the moment for the still small voice. It is time to summon your angels. A time for peace.

Our minds are lazier than our bodies. ~François VI de la Rochefoucault

This may sound like gibberish to a few people, especially those who believe life is about taking a tooth for a tooth and eye for an eye. It isn’t because we are too upset or too busy or too in a hurry that we always prefer to speak than to think. Rather it is because it takes more energy and hard work to summon our minds to action by taking some time to think. Why go through the trouble when you can simply react, right?

So instead of summoning our inner genius to the rescue, we lean in to what is easier — reaction. Reaction doesn’t need thinking for it to manifest. It only requires spontaneity and spontaneity never requires thinking. It is taking action that requires thinking and processing and planning.

It is always easier to react than to take action. To react is to remain unconscious and take no responsibility for your reactions. While to take action is to evaluate your stance and make deductions, while realizing that whatever happens is up to you. It is always easier to volunteer a fancy pun that everyone laughs about than to do the right thing and be the adult.

The trouble with most people is that they think with their hopes or fears or wishes rather than with their minds. ~Will Durant

The next time you find yourself in a mess where it is so dang obvious that you have made a mess of yourself because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut, ask yourself this; what was motivating me? Was it my fears, my insecurities or my pride? Did I feel intimidated to brag about my hopes and my dreams or was I wishing out loud in the open so that everyone can see that I’m doing okay and have need of nothing?

Are you thinking with your emotions or are you thinking with your mind? You will soon agree that thinking correctly, i.e. thinking with your mind, is a solitary journey. It is nothing like the karaoke night or a sleepover party. It is pretty much you, yourself and you.

Solitary