12 Quotes that tell you, you are not the first to travel this path

– Be Strong, Be brave, Always believe you can be better –

Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection,

to balance out how much of ourselves we give away – Barbara de Angelis

Always take time out to reflect on your life so you can refuel, receive from yourself and be positively charged to forge ahead. Most women are consumed by responsibilities and expectations, they forget to give to themselves, receive from themselves and love themselves back.

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. Gloria Steinem

This is usually the case when a woman finds that the man she is with is not the man she wanted to marry. It takes great faith and wisdom to take a step back and let the man become who you wanted him to be by letting him take up his responsibilities as the man whether or not he is empowered to. Men are wired to grow into manhood through tough and trying situations that prove impossible.

People think at the end of the day that a man is the only answer [to fulfillment].

Actually a job is better for me. Princess Diana

These are the thoughts of the career driven woman, the woman seeking adventure in the board room, the woman seeking first to build an empire where is queen. The woman who is mostly satisfied by what she does with her hands than by what a man’s hands can do to her senses. If this is you, these desires do not make you less a woman, you have only, to put it mildly, delayed gratification. Many would not agree with your choices, but thats okay, people will always have a different opinion. Only be true to your authentic self and always trust your intuition. They are your trusted guidance.

“If you meet a woman of whatever complexion who sails her life with strength and grace and assurance, talk to her! And what you will find is that there has been a suffering, that at some time she has left herself for hanging dead.”

― Sena Jeter Naslund

Just like men, women too are wired to learn wisdom and patience through hardship, heartbreak and disappointments. There’s hardly a woman without a past, and as much as we do not allow the past take preeminence in our lives, we live to learn from it. Our scars are our medals of conquest, of having fought a good fight.

“I am two women: one wants to have all the joy, passion and adventure that life can give me. The other wants to be a slave to routine, to family life, to the things that can be planned and achieved. I’m a housewife and a prostitute, both of us living in the same body and doing battle with each other.” ― Paulo Coelho

Our greatest strengths lie in accepting our weaknesses, conquering our fears and pursuing our dreams. Our struggles are proof that we are human and the strength to take one victorious step after another after every moment of weakness is proof that we indeed have within our selves the power to live as champions at every one point in time of our lives. If you battle, then be rest assured that within you lies the power to overcome. If you don’t overcome however, it is not because you couldn’t, rather you didn’t because you’d rather not. Nothing is beyond us. We are powerful beyond measure.

“She wore her sexuality with an older woman’s ease, and not like an awkward purse,never knowing how to hold it, where to hang it, or when to just put it down.”― Zadie Smith

I find this quote quite interesting because I see it every time in fashion magazines, in fashion police and the ‘dos and don’ts’ corner of lifestyle magazines. You see two women flaunting the same dress, one looks gorgeous, like a greek goddess, and the other looks like, well, to put it mildly, the dress was forced on her and she was pushed onto the red carpet right in front of the camera. Awkward to say the least, never knowing how to work the dress, or where to hang the purse. It all boils down to self-esteem. It is not our physical beauty that attracts others to us, is our inner beauty and the way we carry ourselves that is the magnet that pulls others to us. And we all have had our share of that silly, awkward moment.

“Nobody around here had ever seen a lady beekeeper till her. She liked to tell everybody that women made the best beekeepers, ’cause they have a special ability built into them to love creatures that sting. It comes from years of loving children and husbands.” ― Sue Monk Kidd

I’ll like to think that this quote also explains, in a way, why it seems  women struggle to disengage from  abuse relationships. It is probably because we believe we have been wired to love the pain, the weapon and the abuser above all else. We simply believe it is the way things should be. The man should cheat and it’s okay, because we cant do anything about it, because it is what men do — they cheat. We feel we must swallow the bitter pill, because it is what women do, we submit and in submission we submit to the lashing by the tongue and the whip. Yes, we are strong, but our strength is meant to build up and not tear down and worse of all, our strength is not meant for tearing down our morale and our self-esteem and self-worth. We must be brave and never be afraid to walk away from any relationship that reduces us from woman to beast.

“Never rearrange your life in order to meet Mr. Darcy half way. If he couldn’t see your worth at the moment you met then he won’t two years later. May the halls of Pemberly be filled with his regrets and your life filled with thankfulness because of this revelation” ― Shannon L. Alder

Many times, a girl will find herself in a situation where she is trying desperately to get the attention of a young man she is attracted to or in love with so to speak. And time and again I’ve witnessed in many occasions the extended persistence of feminine determination, and the disparaging, demeaning responses of the men in question. And for some absurd reason beyond comprehension, she just refuses to accept the bitter truth, that this dude does not see her at all and will not in two years if she kept up with all her gimmicks and parades. Another unsolved mystery when it comes to love and affection. It takes a wise understanding heart to walk away from the one who tolerates you so you can be found by the one who appreciates you.

“What is it about having a period that makes women so bitchy?”… It was an effort, but I said as sweetly as possible, “It isn’t that we’re bitchier, it’s that having a period makes us feel all tired and achy, so we have less tolerance for all the b***s*** we normally SUFFER IN SILENCE.” By the time the sentence ended the sweetness was long gone, my jaw was clenched, and I think my eyes were bugging out. Wyatt took a step back, belatedly looking alarmed.” ― Linda Howard

I believe this quote is quite self explanatory. On a good day, the woman may not mind being the punching bag but when she is having her period, she may not be just as patient. I also will like to believe that a man who truly cares  and knows his woman will know where to draw the line and be less of a nuisance whenever it is that time of the month.

“No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously whether she will or will not be a mother.” ― Margaret Sanger

Life is about making choices and letting those choices mold us afterwards. So choose wisely, be the hero not the victim. Trouble is, most times we are on default mode, autopilot, we just do because it is the tradition, it is the way things are, it is what people do at certain junctions of life. They get a job, they get married, they have kids, then they…well that is what life is all about family and everyone should make one. Fair explanation if you ask me, but how many women are having babies beyond their wishes at a time when they would have worked and built their careers or education for just a little stretch longer before welcoming the lovely bundles of joy? They suffer silently because somehow, babies shouldn’t be contested or planned, at least not when you are married, they should just happen because it is the way the world goes. People marry and then they have babies. To consciously choose whether you will or will not be a mother, permanently or temporarily is as big as choices go and it isn’t something you suddenly make up your mind about after you have sworn for better or worse. It takes two to tango. If you are going to  live your life a certain way, don’t put the cart before the horse, don’t wait till you are married before you pull out your workbook for happiness. Happiness is something you work at everyday. So be wise, work at being happy now not after you walk down the aisle.

“When a woman says, ‘I have nothing to wear!’, what she really means is, ‘There’s nothing here for who I’m supposed to be today.” ― Caitlin Moran, How to Be a Woman

As sweet as this statement may sound, it shows that slight lingering inside of us that keeps us looking outside of ourselves to find happiness and contentment. Everything we need, to be who we desire to be, is within us and until we are firmly aligned with our beliefs, our thoughts and our actions, we will always seek for something outside of ourselves to give us the completeness we desire. I have nothing to wear, is a popular complaint of the woman who is not happy with the way her life has turned out and is seeking to make up for it with what mundane things rather than finding inner peace and contentment.

“One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.” ― Jeanne d’Arc

Seek to live your life to the fullest, stop settling for less than you are worth, stop devaluing your potentials and your capabilities. Cease life at every moment and give every challenge your best shot. Be fearless and always throw your best punch, stretch your muscles and grow an inch taller with every feat you overcome. Believe in yourself, believe in what you can become and stay in pursuit of that dream. This life is for those who will live enthusiastically and excitedly, with hope and with determination. Decide today that you are one of such people.


Full life



A forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart – Ashley Lorenzana

You can be the super-duper ‘it girl’ and still be lost in your reality. How? Lets take a typical scenario. Say you’re a top model in the fashion industry with a gazillion runways and photo spreads to your portfolio. You are one of the successful minorities, with daily shoots and weekly traveling schedules, and a seasonal engagement with top fashion shows across the world. You have made your agent richer than he ever dreamed he would be in years. You are no longer the girl from the ghetto and your vocabulary has dramatically switched from local lingua to Ferragamo and Christian Louboutin. Your career is every girl’s dream because you make it seem so easy by gliding through your routines with such enviable grace. Seems like a perfect picture right? Yes it does but guess what?


Louboutin Stiletto

Louboutin Stiletto


Half the time, you are constantly self-motivating and gingering yourself to stay the haul. You get to work and you wish the hours would fly by so you can get back to where your day started, which is your cozy bed; So, to achieve that quicker and faster you switch to daydream and fantasy mode – hibernation mode. The place where you are happiest and calm, anywhere but what you are meant to do in the present. Anywhere but work. Your escape destination has become your favorite mind-travel destination. Do you love your job? Yes, but lately you’d rather not be dressing up and strutting the runway. Do you love the glamorous designer clothes? Yes, but you’d rather be in a jumper and sweats, having drinks with the girls all weekend. Do you love the shoes, bags and accessories that accrue to you courtesy your fab job? Yes, but somehow that’s been the only exciting things in your life for a very long time now, they’ve soon blurred into bore! That popular saying, “A million girls would kill for that job”, no longer thrills you and make your stomach tizzy. The joke that cracked everyone up is no longer funny; everyone is laughing his or her guts out but you. Maybe the joke is on you! You are in all the right places but for the wrong reasons. If this is your story then two things are correct; you are the ‘Super-duper it-girl’ and you are absent from your reality. Your repeated forced smile is a dire sign that something is dreadfully wrongly with everything. That picture isn’t good.


Ferragamo Shoe



So what do you do, quit your job? Not really, at least not immediately. A job like this one comes with a lot of prospects, cherry and bubbly people, maybe happy, maybe optimistic. I guess it takes some dose of optimism and positivity and cheeriness to survive in an industry as tough and demanding as the fashion industry or any industry for that matter. Back to the question, what do you do? Let’s have a second look at that quote by Ashley Lorenzana.


Never try to do anything that is outside of who you are. A forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart, so recognize it when it happens. Living a lie will reduce you to one. – Ashley Lorenzana

Yeah the first line at the top was only a part of the original quote. Now with the complete text, what do you think you should do?

Here is what, I think I’d do if I found myself in situations where I am supposedly having a good time but can’t seem to drown the slightest nudge that implies I’m having a ‘not-so-bad’ time. Bad is bad! Whether it is the ‘not-so-bad’ or ‘not-as-bad’ type. I’ll begin first by asking myself, why do I feel a tad sad? Why do I feel very low after laughing so hard? Why is my heartbeat anxious at the thought of sunrise? ‘Why’ is always a good place to begin when seeking answers? What is the secret to my happiness? What gives me fulfillment; Status or purpose?





Sometimes awareness can be painful, especially when we judge ourselves so harshly by what we are becoming aware of in our lives. 


As the light begins to shine on you and you begin to find answers, try not to beat yourself up. Give yourself a hug and tell yourself, you are going to work this out and in doing so, you will surely find the strength to work out of limbo.


The words “I am” are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you. ~A.L. Kitselman


Avoid the temptation to say silly words like, ‘Gosh! How dumb have I been? The answers’ been staring me in the face all this time’, ‘If only I’d read this post before now’, ‘How could I have been so cowardly, and stupid?’ No, that’s unacceptable. Instead say to yourself, ‘Awesome, truly sewing gives me so much joy! I am going to reach out to all my top designer friends and begin my journey to stardom on a new path! Whoohoo! This feels real good!’   Say only what you want to become. You don’t want stupid and cowardly to come chasing you in broad day light like Freddie Kruger. Most certainly not, rather awesome, joy and victory cries will come after you to claim you.





Stay in the present moment


Finally, stay in the present moment. Be here, this moment and now, be fully aware and engaged with your thoughts, your actions and how you are evolving. Embrace the life that is your own. Choose the life that you want not the life that you need. There’s a difference.