Learning

WAKE UP AND LIVE

It’s not about attaining your dream, it’s growing stronger through the challenges of attaining your dream and who you become through that journey

Have you ever wondered why it is often said that you are your greatest opposition and your greatest enemy? Why it is strongly believed that the most important battles in life are the battles of the mind? Why no matter what happens unless you believe in yourself very little can come out of your seemingly great efforts? Why you are constantly asked to dress the part. It is because, even though you embody this great dream or idea, you are more important than the dream or goal or idea, whatever it may be.

Often times we put too much emphasis on what we want to get, what we want to achieve and then we neglect what is most important which is, getting there. We neglect that bridge that connects us from ‘here’ to ‘there’. We forget that our ‘here’ is of as much significance as our ‘there.’  We are swayed by fantasies of the glittering ‘there’ and in an attempt to achieve this great dream, we submerge ourselves in activities rather than in growth.

Think about a child, lets say your little niece for instance, who loves to micmic roles of an actress. Every time she performs an act you laugh and pat her back, and try to encourage her fantasies by buying her things that would keep her flames alive. Still you know within yourself that it takes a grown woman to be an actress. And no matter how much she tries as a child actress, she would have to be a full grown woman, schooled thoroughly in theater, to truly become an actress.

It takes a certain kind of person to become a certain kind of person. And it takes a certain kind of person to attain a certain kind of lifestyle, or achieve a certain kind of goal. If your dream is to double your income, and earn say $5,000 as monthly income, the most important question to you, shouldn’t be about struggling for a promotion or a getting a better paying job, rather it should be thus; “Who do I need to become to earn $5000?” Other than focusing on your results, you focus on the process.

The purpose of your goal is the journey. The purpose of the pursuit is the process.

Whenever you set a new goal in life, you automatically raise the standards you operate by. With your new goal, you say to yourself, this is who I intend to become. You realize that in order to reach your goal, you must become a certain type of person. This means your goal is high up there and you are down below here and in order to reach it you must stretch. That stretch is your process, your journey; that is what is most important.

Not the $5000. Not the house by the beach. Not the fat bank account. Not fame or popularity. Instead what happens between ‘here’ and ‘there’ and who you become. That is where the transformation takes place. The exchange; that is where the price is paid. That is where you negotiate. Multi-billion dollar babies do not become billion dollar babies only because hay had a big break. They became billion dollar babies because they changed… from who they were to who they needed to be to become multi-million dollar babies.

Isn’t it obvious that the biggest reason why we never talk about what we want to become in life is become we fear being scorned and laughed at? And why are we scorned and laughed at? Why do these mediocre minds, so to speak, look you over and laugh their hardest when you tell them how you are going to build the most magnificent structure ever known to man? Simple, it is because you do not look like the sort of person who builds magnificent architectural work, even though you seem one of the best in your class.

And it isn’t so much about your appearance but your aura, your general comportment. They look at your entire make-up and they think to themselves, she must be dreaming. That is why you have to prove them wrong. And you can only do that by changing, growing, and becoming that outstanding architect. You focus more on becoming than on attaining. Allowing yourself to be totally consumed by the result of your goal can be gruesome and frustrating because you work your ass off and rake in very little rewards. Instead, you focus on becoming this awe-struck personality who achieves thus and thus a goal. That way you find that rather than fuss, you glide through your process.

We’ll never get it all done; we’ll never get it all “right”. It’s here for us to enjoy the process.

Having raised the standards in your life, you created the space you’ll need to stretch so you can reach your goal, as you stretch you change, don’t forget to enjoy the process. Don’t get too carried away working to be the part, that you forget to dress the part. That is the fun part, the dress rehearsal so to speak. When kids do make-believe, they do it with delight and with deep satisfaction. It is in that deep satisfaction that you stretch. That is where growth takes place. In the spaces where you enjoy with deep satisfaction, the little details that add up along the way.

Yes you may have to attend seminars or conferences where people who have achieved your desired milestone are found, attempt what they have done, and do what they did but far above it all is loving it while you do it. Live throughout the process don’t sleep through it and hope to suddenly wake up at the other side. You will be sorely surprised.

In this journey, you must stay awake, alive, animated. If you have to return to school, do it with fervor. If you must take a course or go on a trip to immense yourself in certain cultures or learn a new language, do it with enthusiasm and eager expectation. If you must change jobs, as you go through the process of sending out your resumes to different employers, let it be an adventure and not some boring obligation.

Who am I becoming in all of this?

Who are you becoming? Big question. Are you happier, more grateful and hopeful or are you frequently depressed, complaining, and negative every step of the way. Remember, that everything is everything; the way you do one thing is the way you will do another and consequently, who you are becoming determines the prize. You are either becoming the strong athlete who runs for the prize or you are the grumpy trainee who never makes it to the big game in the first place.

A cheerful heart and a cheerful attitude will get you to your destination faster and happier while ingratitude, complaints, blame and a disgruntled attitude will bring you disappointments, rejections and hard luck stories. What you need is a high dose of positivity and positive expectations, so that no matter how many times you fail, you know failure contributes more to your growth than anything else in the world.

Wake up and live. Be excited about your transformation and your change. Your ‘there’ is only a a few ‘heres‘ away. Enjoy this now, enjoy this moment, be grateful for today, embrace your growth. And trust me, by the time you get ‘there’ hardly will any of those laughing jackasses accept that what they see is true. They will see that you made it, and that you have become this shinning star and they will not recognize you. It is because you have grown. You have changed. You are now the sort of person who does great and amazing things.

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10 WEIRD HABITS OF SUCCESS GURUS WORTH LEARNING

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”― Mahatma Gandhi


1. Weird moments of solitude, staring into nothing
Have you ever tried thinking of all the bits of information that your brain has to analyze, ignore, memorize and retain? Hold that thought. Now think of these gurus and all the handwork they put into their businesses, lifestyles, relationships, managing their staff, clientele base, and the ever evolving big idea, finding a balance between them and making loads of cash at the same time. Cool. Now imagine the ginormous amount of information they have to analyze, ignore, memorize and retain? Seriously, for the success guru, silence is paramount. Moments when the mind is free from thinking and free from thinking about thinking are highly essential to anyone who’s going to make a difference in his sphere of influence. Silence will recharge your energy while your body and mind is at rest. One of the secrets of silence; finding some quiet and sitting in a complete hushed state, is that it boosts creativity. And creativity requires solitude. If you are having major blocks in your creative work as an artist or entrepreneur, or even as a stay-at-home mum, you should try silence; find a quiet spot and sit still for just 10 minutes, try it once a day everyday, and watch how the magic unfolds inner peace, clarity, creativity and self-discovery into your life.

2. Weird long hours writing and writing, stacking piles of notebooks
The journal. I think I might do a separate piece on the power of the journal soon. Perhaps next month in August. There is power in writing your thoughts, your goals, your dreams, your aspirations, your challenges and how you tackled them, your intentions and how the miracles that follow, your big idea and its exponential potential, your growth, your journey, your little victories, your gratitude. The list is endless. Only write. Great successes of history can attest to having stacks and stacks of notebooks about their dreams and then in turn, show you how those dreams have unfolded. A friend of mine, a politician and entrepreneur, who encourages me to keep writing, once said to me; whatever you do not write does not exist. Likewise, I say to you, whatever your dreams or your desires, or your hopes or your visions, even your little victories (the ones you so often ignore), unless you write them down, they do not exist. Writing down your goals among other things, gives you power. It is you reinforcing your voice, and your voice is your power. So begin today, get a notebook.

3.Weird moments of asking questions, inquiring
They are always curious. The desire to want to know, to understand, to seek out, to discover, to uncover, to find out, to grasp, to unearth, to comprehend is never ending for the one who will make it big even for the one who already has. The law of Curiosity by John C. Maxwell explains; Growth begins by asking why? Solutions come only to those who ask why? Great inventions happened to great inventors because they asked why? The secret to your success or  to greater success for you may actual lie in you becoming a complete nuisance so to speak, asking too many questions at a conference and becoming a pain in the ass. So long as you do it with the intention to learn more, know more, understand better and solve more problems. And guess what, the more problems you solve, the more success you attract. Good luck with getting more curious.

4. Weird quiet moments of observation
They have their eyes open at all times. They study everything and anything that is within the sphere of their vision. They are good at studying human behavior. They can look you over and in a moment and read you like a book. This quality gives them the edge in almost everything they do, from hiring the right staff to choosing a business partner. They read the small prints and are always reading between the lines. Nothing goes unnoticed. Therefore nothing takes them by surprise. They possess the characteristics of the lion and the lamb. They play the fool long enough to glean off as much as they need, then they crouch like the lion waiting to pounce on the next opportunity. Understand that you do no know everything and sometimes situation warrants, you learn by just watching, observing and absorbing, without speaking a single word. Make mental notes of your observations and then go back to the drawing board. Curiosity in asking why is awesome but asking in order to learn, isn’t always about speaking, it can be observing too. It pays to know what scenarios to apply either of both qualities.

5. Weird dietary routines and workout routines
They are ‘keep fit’ freaks. I guess they realize that they need to stay alive and healthy to make any difference in the world and the higher they go the more disciplined they get with what they eat, how they eat and the more concerned they are about how they look. In spite of their busy schedules they get to workout and go for frequent checkups with the doctor. Something Brian Tracy said come to mind; in life, the moment who make money, you begin to think less about money and start to spend your time doing other things that are most important. True. You begin to think about  family time more, your health and your well being and other pleasures of life. Money becomes the least of your concerns. On the contrary, if you haven’t made any money, it is all you think about.  Working out and eating right may be the last things on your to-do-list. We will do well though, to start taking our health and physical fitness a lot more serious and not wait till the time is perfect.

6. Weird obsessions about punctuality
I learned quiet recently that one can never go wrong with punctuality. It says too much about you when you’re late to an important appointment. Note the word, important. If you’re late then it probably wasn’t important after all. And worst still if the important meeting was with an important figure. I also learnt a new line of wisdom that goes thus; everything is everything. They way you do anything is the way you do everything. So you see why arriving late all the time tells so much about you. Sometimes you seem to just do things and barely think through your actions, meanwhile, someone somewhere is watching and writing a new chapter about you everyday by simply observing you and the things you do.  When people say no to you, think it through, what are they seeing? Likewise when they yes, what could you be doing right?

7. Weird simple appearances at social gatherings
My coach once said to me, when you go to a gathering, the person who is overly dressed is probably the poorest person in the room. Appearance is everything. This doesn’t mean you go everywhere looking anyhow and untidy. Sometimes people feel that caring less about their appearance is part of humility or it is their way of saying to the world, ‘I have better things on my mind’. Not a good idea. Appearance speaks volumes. And as humans we are usually ruthless with the rule called first impression. We can glance an individual over and decide what or how to feel about that person without even hearing them speak in the first instance. And our perception about that person is immediately colored forever by that initial judgement. The key is too always look good, look your best but don’t over do it. Over doing it is a hint on low self-esteem. Be big on the inside. Be confident and be awesome and you will be just fine. Most times, what is usually perceived is your aura not the clothing. When you have a strong positive aura, the clothing becomes of less importance.

8. Weird intense concentration when listening to anything
You can be talking trash and have the full attention of the big guns. It only means you will never fool them into bearing your company again. They listen to every thing said and unsaid. They are concerned more about what you are not saying with your mouth; what your body language seems to be bawling. Now imagine if you were talking sense, and you had the full hearing of the senator. Be sure to get invited for dinner, or expect a phone call from his secretary. Even if you don’t know what the hell you where saying , you must have said something right. Another trick is to keep silent if you have nothing to say. Silence is powerful and it takes a lot of character to stay quiet in a rowdy conversation where everyone seems to have something to say. Your silence soon presents you with an open mic and a platform in no time. Apart from loving wise words bold presentations, successful folks also know how to spot the quiet one who has chosen to remain confident in his non-vocal state.

9. Weird moments of silence when having a conversation, and fewer words
When speaking to someone of great importance, and he or she tends to respond with long moments of silence, don’t get uncomfortable and fill in all the gaps with gibberish. Just be silent in return. Especially if you have noting to say. Your quiet steadiness will, more often than not, pass off as confidence rather than stupid. Trying to fill in the gaps of silence will indicate restlessness or insecurity and a low self-esteem. Be still in your skin and you will be respected for surviving the steady gaze of the observing guru. Make it your turn to learn through observation as well. And when asked a question, try to make your responses as brief and detailed as you can. Remember to be honest too. You never know what they know. Don’t shoot yourself in the leg.

10. Weird humongous collection of books, always reading and reading
They never stop learning. Period. The moment you begin to think you have arrived you begin to diminish in value. Knowledge is inexhaustible and so is wisdom. There can never be enough of both. Like the proverbial saying of King Solomon; Of making many books there is no end, and too much study wearies the body. Humans will always continue to learn and want more information. It is the only way we can grow. Growth on the inside is the growth that is most important. Expand your mind, expand your horizon. Choose to improve daily. Begin with a book a month and then increase your speed. What qualifies a person as wise? Wisdom. Knowing. Understanding. It comes form reading, asking why, and observing. There is some much you do not know and so much you will never learn until you pick up a book and read.

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”― Dr. Seuss

I’m often told by my coach that the secret to success is so simple, that many people pass it off as ineffective and inefficient. That is why only few people are truly successful and wealthy. Like reading books for instance, or listening to audio programs. Don’t expect your 20 something or 30 something year old minds to suddenly want to turn around and begin to read a book or workout every week. It takes persistence to teach your already set mind to begin imbibing a new way of doing things. That is where the handwork comes in — persistence.

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RULES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN

“Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.”
― Dalai Lama XIV


Maybe I’m a rebel at heart. Maybe we all should be rebels at some point in our lives. Maybe that is the way it should be if we must hone our unique abilities. You should be ready to break the rules when it gets to your turn. This isn’t suggesting you become a mindless rebel, like going without clothes because it is your unique ability to wade off the scorching sun or freezing weather! That would be insanity wouldn’t it? Even though following your heart sometimes can be likened to insanity, but of course you do know what I mean right?

Once, I use to think that people who did great things were special people. That they had, literally, a silver spoon in their mouths when they where born. No kidding. I used to be that clueless. I would stare at these images in glossy magazines and would spend tons of hours in front of the TV because I had to have my dose of mesmerization and there was never enough to go round. My eyelids would hang wide open in awe,  gaping with my mouth dripping, my internal senses stirred and roused, desiring to be like these superstars. These awfully lucky superstars.

Of course now, I know better. Now I know that people only become special because of handwork. Persistent handwork and mind drilling intentions. Now I know that I too can be special no matter the circumstance and that I can be a superstar if only I do the work, and then of course break some rules.

It’s a lot clearer now what I mean by breaking rules, isn’t it? It has to do with being great, being special and being a superstar. You probably have heard this before, that there is no such thing as luck only hard work. And that there is no such thing as talent, only persistence. Meaning if you work hard at it long enough, developing your skills and all you’ll become talented and you’ll be successful and then people will say, “oh look how lucky she is…”

Well, now you know the secret, that the only reason why you are still a spectator, observing all the wonders happen to the minority other than yourself is well, one of several things. You need to start breaking rules. You need to leave your confort zone and try the unusual, which is relative of course, I mean how do you try the unusual when you don’t even know whats usual for you. Big question.

Rules are good, don’t get me wrong. Rules are good because they show to you your limits, and what better growth is there than the one that stretches you beyond your limits. Rules show to you what others have done to get their own results, and in a way gives you clues of what you can do that no one has ever attempted. Rules show to you a road map of the routes available that you can take to reach your destination, and if you studied them long enough, you will begin to see new routes that no one ever knew existed.

It is the whole essence of life, to create and co-create. The process is on going and that is what makes life exciting — breaking the rules. If you are still feeling uneasy about this, then perhaps you are thinking about principles and not rules. Rules are man-made, and anything that is made by man is subject to errors, and alteration by another human. While principles operate by laws and laws exist by nature so whatever you do, no matter how ground breaking your intentions are, you can never cheat the laws of the universe. They are constant, they are real and they are alive.

So congratulations! Now you are free to break any rules that have kept you in the dark, held you back from shining like the star you were born to be. Only follow your heart and your big dream, you may rip a muscle or two in the process, but it would be worth it. Also find someone who can help guide you, someone who has gone ahead of you and believes in you, that is so important. As you go in pursuit of your goals, its always great to have a guide, like a coach or a mentor who is willing to support you and helps you navigate the thorn bushes of life. Again, congratulations!


“Following all the rules leaves a completed checklist. Following your heart achieves a completed you.”― Ray Davis


Eleanor Roosevelt 1884-1962

12 Secrets Game Changers Have in Common

I will do the work, it won’t be easy, it will be worthwhile

1. They are early risers
Love and cherish your mornings. There is something deep and spiritual about honoring your mornings with some reverence, like getting out of bed early enough and having some quiet all by yourself. It helps you begin your day on a fresh slate, knowing that every new day bears its possibilities as well as its challenges. You gain clarity, you set your priorities straight knowing there is only so much you can do in one day. Above all you drink in a blessing that is new, fresh, never before seen or heard or experienced, the blessing that is a new day, created for you to decorate and garnish as you so please. Ask any successful person you know and they will tell you that there is infinite power in honoring your sunrise. By rising early and quiet, with a clear mind, and a steady spirit intentionally free of worries, you are saying to the universe, “Here I am, ready yet again, to bring in a great harvest!”

2. They allow their angels to sing
Have you ever wondered why it seems like wealthy successful people have no worries? It is because they have mastered the art of giving the spotlight to their angels rather than their demons. We each have within us two voices telling us what we must do, the one you give prominence takes preeminence and that voice soon molds your personality. Do you lean more into your problems or do you lean more into your possibilities? This is not an easy thing to do especially when nothing seems to be going as planned. However it is one of the greatest strengths of game changers. When they have an idea, they plant it in their hearts and water it daily, never minding how long it takes for it to sprout. They are patient, they allow their angels sing to them with all kinds of sweet melodies, of hope, of positive eventualities, and songs about miracles, and impossibilities becoming possible. It is how Edison got through 1,000 mistakes without quitting. He did not allow his failures to trap his mind in limbo. He let his angels sing.

3. They are willing to wrestle their demons
Letting your angels sing isn’t exactly a joy ride. You are going to have demons in pursuit, your demons. Life is about an ongoing conflict between two masters, they go by different names in different circumstances. Light and darkness, truth and lies, positive thoughts and negative thoughts. In this case, they are called, angels and demons. It is a battle, a struggle, a tale of two cities. Be willing to wrestle your demons, only never give in. That is what keeps the tough going — tough times. And they are temporary, after a while your demons drawback, to fight another day. So be persistent, never let them overpower you, if you keep it up long enough, they soon mellow and bow to the stronger force — your never relenting singing angels. One way to keep your angels a gazillion steps ahead of your demons is by maintaining ‘number one’ — the early morning ritual. Angels love the lucidity of early dawns, it gives lift to their voices with their sopranos piercing through any obstacle and cracking it into bits and pieces, making room for you to spread your wings, creating new paths for you to explore, breaking new grounds for you to conquer. Never give in. Your demons are not as strong as they seem to be.

4. They hope afresh each morning

There is no greater destination in life than to have an endlessly changing horizon — for each day to have a new and different sun. — Marc & Angel

Hope keeps soul alive. Hope is food to the gladiator fighting to stay alive because he believes one day, if he pleases the crowd long enough, he might win his freedom. Have you ever been awed by a gladiators performance? The cheering crowd and the quivering coliseum are a sign that one day he could be free so in spite of the humiliation of being a pet project and a prisoner, he chooses to stay alive, all in hope of leaving the dungeon forever. A hopeless life is a meaningless life, with no pursuits, no aspirations, no pulse, only breath. One must always dream. Even when your goal falls through the cracks, derive another. Even when your treasure map goes into flames, awaken your instincts, let you intuition take over and see what surprises await you. Never wake up and just let things be, instead wake up and be awesome. Wake up and be gorgeous. Wake up and act as though it is christmas and there are tons of presents beneath the tree with your name inscribed on each.

5. They do something everyday to propel them towards their goal
Another way to put this is, they are not wishful thinkers. They are not day dreaming and snoring their way through life, cuddling their pillow and slurring about silly visions. They are real. They wake up and they pick up the axe, the pan, the golf stick, whatever it is they do for a living. They get to work. They put in another mile and then a mile extra. They give to each day, some sweat and some tears, then they put in more sweat and more tears. They keep going in this manner, day in day out, with their eyes on the big picture. They have a desired goal in mind. It is called a harvest. And we all know that harvests don’t drop from the sky, they are brought in by men who quite simply, go to work, and get their hands dirty. If Edison had 1,000 failures, it tells you how persistent he was day in, day out, trying something new in the direction of his goal and even though it seemed like he kept failing, each failure, being a result of action, only brought him closer to his eureka.

6. They recognize that the world needs them and they act accordingly

You are enormously significant. – You are one person out of seven billion people, on one planet out of eight, in one star system out of a hundred billion, in one galaxy out of another hundred billion.  And you are enormously significant! – Marc & Angel

If you’re going to be a game changer, then you must have a big ego, you must truly believe that you’re something to even think you can make a difference in your world. And that’s always a good to place to begin. Believing that you can be anything you choose to be and at any time or place or time. Its up to you. There are no special people only everyday people who have taken the courage to scribble the word special before their names. The minute you begin to realize that indeed you are special, you will move mountains, literally. Your mind opens up to all kinds of possibilities because you suddenly believe you can fly. And since you are special, it means there is something unique about you of which the world can benefit. Having this awareness will cause you to cherish your gifts and your talents, and it will make you want to invest precious time in developing these talents, so that your service is impeccable and memorable for all time.

7. They are genuinely concerned about the people they serve
It is not about you. Yes, you may get pretty comfortable in the end but this whole business isn’t all about you. It is for the greater good. For the good of mankind. Ever heard people say, that the fastest way to make money is to create better solutions for everyday problems. Little wonder food always sells, and power, and internet services in 3rd world countries, and mobile devices. Your rare talents are indeed gifts. They are what make you special and stand out in the world. They are what make you shine. They give you your luster among the stars. Gifts however are meant to be shared and not meant for you to keep away, or stored up to be eaten by moth. Successful people are genuinely concerned about their customers, audiences, subscribers and patrons. It’s always been about people and it always will. Keep improving. Keep seeking new ways to provide better solutions to the people you serve and do it with soul. Greed can only take you so far, but selflessness will continue to payoff long after you’ve left the scene.

8. They Maximize every second spent
Every second pays off. Game changers do not waste time. I read something recently, something that made me laugh silly and feel terribly sorry for myself at the same time. It said, “Ever wondered why you never see a commercial on Lamborghini cars? It’s because the people who can afford them are not sitting around watching TV.” In a generation only a few tabs away from going completely berserk with invention and creation, especially the invention and creation of entertainment, this may be a hard pill to swallow. However, there are people who have made significant impact in our world and they take their time seriously so that no second is unaccounted for, even when they play. This is going to shock you; would you believe, if I told you that the great Oprah Winfrey  never watches TV? Well she doesn’t. Google it! If the great TV content guru isn’t sitting around watching TV, then some of us have a long way to go. Then again it goes to say, that it must take some very serious commitment to ‘number 5’ for anyone to eliminate TV time. Also realize that anything that sucks up your attention and energy, like TV, is only sabotaging a significant amount of your precious 24 hours. I’m personally putting into practice the habit of placing my ‘number 5’ before any lousy indulgence.

9. They stay focused
Distractions can become a spice of life and less of a pain in the ass when you master how to hold the image of your big picture. Its like playing cards, you may deal a ton of cards and be dealt another ton in return but you never lose sight of your Aces. They are your game changers. Or like playing chess; ever watched two pros play chess before, the concentration is intense and the moves are few but intentional and deliberate. Whatever happens, your king must be kept safe from the opponent. Life can be likened to chess, your attention is your most treasured weapon. Let nothing but your target get your precious attention. Remember also, that energy flows where attention goes. Your attention is meant for making milestones and hitting a bull’s-eye. Be sure to have your focus stayed on your target at all times.

10. They make a mental note of every season in their lives
Game changers in someway, are historians. As part of their journey, they keep records, detailing every milestone that made a difference in their lives. They keep a notebook, a diary or a journal of some sort where they write down their big ideas, as well as their hopes and their conquests through life. We are able to read about the beautiful story of Anne Frank today because of the journal she kept during the war. Write down your goals, note down your mistakes, blunders and your genius discoveries. You don’t have to be a writer to keep a journal, and journals aren’t solely for heartbreaks and vendettas either. They are a place for storing your thoughts, your memories, your growth as you evolve through time. See it as a means for storing up delightful and adventurous stories of your life for the days ahead, like a road map. As a matter of fact, the journal benefits you the writer more than anyone else, because it serves as a compass for you on the days you feel lost or after you’ve taken a blow in major crises. Our experiences and our victories become to us a light and a compass when sometimes we find ourselves in the great maze of uncertainties.

11. They travel light
I first learned what it meant to travel light from my dad, rest his soul. He always placed emphasis on taking only what was needed for a trip. Likewise, on the journey that is the most important to you — the journey of your life — traveling light is essentially key. You will need your compass; your intuition, you will need your dose of inspiration, self-motivation and self-confidence among others, you will need your attention, your morning ritual, your singing angels, some soul and of course your blue print; the big picture. Anything else aside from these will be extra luggage, like guilt, regret, hate, self-pity, greed, arrogance, fear of the unknown to mention a few. Take your essentials, everything else is pretty much immaterial. Keep all your concerns to the minimal, even in your physical environment, make conscious effort to take out what’s in the way of your progress and your intentions. Too many junk at home have been proven to mentally clutter our minds with unwanted baggage. Free your living spaces and free your thought processes then welcome new horizons. There is too much good ahead to risk staying stuck in a hodgepodge of antiques.

12. They are night owls
I once read a romantic line that said, “Love, like a good cup of coffee, keeps you awake all night.” True that. If you have ever been in love, you will agree. Falling in love can be so consuming and enthralling, you lose count of time, musing, reminiscing, fantasizing, and desiring oneness. You are carried away writing poems and love letters or snuggled up in bed with your phone to your ears. It is the same with having dreams, a big idea or a goal. It feels like being high on something and you cannot sleep at night until you can place your actions on the same page with your blueprint. Until you can efficiently communicate your message to your audience. Until you have gotten it right for one day. Until you are fully satisfied, however vaguely, that you’ve had a connection with your one true love. You remain wide eyed long after everyone goes to bed and you are up first, long before the break of day. That’s the power of love. It goes to say, that one must fall in love with their dream. Sweet love that intoxicates the mind and drives the soul beyond the lengths until your image transmutes from a mere thought into tangible substance.

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The power of gratitude

A   Poem on Gratitude
Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.
It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.
GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.
Author Unknown

 

Gratitude

If you’ve been inspired in any way by this post, kindly share your thoughts in the comment section. If you will like to also share, privately, what you are learning, or have any questions, shoot me an email — citygirl_muse@yahoo.com. XOXO

14 different ways to make your dreams come true

There is no shortage of dreamers, only a shortage of people doing what it takes to make their dreams come true.

1.    Reconnect with your true self and your inner genius:

It is easy to lose sight of who you are after going through a very tough process. I remember being in a near fatal accident in 2008 on my way back to Lagos from Kano. I managed to escape with only a few bruises. I was still terrified by images of the somersaulting bus and everything when, that same night, only a few miles from home, I was mugged and everything I had on me was taken away by two street thugs. A few weeks after, a relationship I believed so much in, fell apart. The accident and the cascading events that followed, shook me so bad, for many months I was a shadow of myself. I would stare blankly into nothing, still in shock over everything that happened to me, things I’d previously only read about in books, about being dumped, about motor accidents and muggers. For a long time I was traumatized. It was almost impossible for me to expect or believe any good about myself. When tragedies hit you, your confusion paints a sudden and false image about who you are and your reality. You don’t have to accept it. You can change it. Deep within you, you know your true self. She is not lost, she’s only hidden beneath the avalanche of circumstances. There are so many voices jabbing away inside your head, you cannot begin to hear yours. You feel lost and the only way to find yourself again is to take away those layers, one at a time. This could be a slow process, of finding your quiet again and getting centered and regaining focus. A slow conscious process of letting go, letting all the weights roll off your back or simply shaking them off. It’s okay to feel a little lost after being rattled by all kinds of experiences, so long as you make the effort to get back to center. Reconnect with your inner genius.

2.    Take a leap of faith:

They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.  ~Confucius

Physically as humans, we change daily and so does our minds, and our souls. We are in constant transition and transformation. We are becoming the image that we believe the most — the ultimate picture of what success means to us. We may not shed off feathers or skin as vividly as animals do, but we are changing and we change daily. We tend to accept physical change easier than our inner growth. In fact we mostly neglect out inner growth and focus more on how we look on the outside. So we try to enhance outward beauty and clutter our spaces with stuff. Change is not a bad thing. Change is pleasant even though it can be painful and distressing at times. Accept your little moments of transformation, and dare to be better than you were yesterday. It is that stretch you make, between where you were yesterday and where you could be tomorrow, that becomes the leap of faith. Continue to take that leap and your dreams will equally leap a step closer. Faith is having confidence in what we hope for, and even though we do not physically see it, we are certain it will happen. Keep taking those leaps.

By leaving behind your old self & taking a leap of faith into the unknown, you find out what you are truly capable of becoming.

3.    Stop building walls, start building bridges:

You are a victim of the rules and beliefs you live by.

A wise saying goes, you are confined only by the walls you build yourself. They are your limiting beliefs, they are those sour, sad, unpleasant images hanging all around you, saying to you, “This is how far you get, go no further. There is nothing for you on the other side. This where it all ends for you.” The sad part is you believe those images, and you believe them because you keep reinforcing them with new ones. Every time something doesn’t work out, you go to your wall of famous defeats and hang up a new trophy of failure and you don’t attempt to give life another try. Be determined to pull down those walls that limit you and begin to build bridges into your beautiful unknown. Take your risks and let those images of failure become the granite floors you will tread upon as you pursue your dreams. Never turn your back on life, whatever happens, good or bad, use it as building material for your bridge and move on right ahead. Let every experience you encounter create for you a network of bridges that lead you to your desired destination.

4.    Trust yourself:

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. – Golda Meir

Stop thinking too much about the steps you are about to take that you end up doing nothing about your life. You flounder because you are not sure the next step  you are about to take is the correct step. Follow your heart, trust your intuition, it’s not always going to be right or genius; but how else can you sharpen your senses if you don’t utilize them? The more you trust your gut, the more correct instructions it would give you. Spend more time doing something about your life than you spend speculating about it. If you don’t trust yourself, there isn’t a chance you will trust even the most reliable sources, or even the wisest of suggestions and advices when they come along. So stop stalling, stop guessing, stop asking too many questions that lead you no way and start doing, start trusting and start acting. The more you trust yourself, the sharper your intuition, and the wiser you become and the happier you will be to live with yourself. Only a centered person can make their dreams come true.

5.    By all means mean what you say:

I try to mean every word I say when I write because what I say in my writing today, is a reflection of who I am now, whilst what I say tomorrow will be a reflection of who I have become. My words are the chronicles of my metamorphosis. A collage of my beautiful imperfections. A tapestry of my life’s revelations as they unfold. Be true to yourself and mean what you say, every word of it. Being true in your conversations will strengthen your values and beliefs and make you more of a reliable source and less a coward. Learn the art of interpreting your true essence and your value systems through the things you talk about, let the image people see of you be the one you have crafted, not a counterfeit. Let it be the person that you are inside and the person that you are becoming. Don’t say one thing and be another. Don’t say something that is in total disagreement with your beliefs simply because it is trending. Stay true to who you are, it is the only way to begin to dream, by letting your true voice be heard.

6.    Forget what you’ve lost and focus on what you’ve learned:

You probably have had great opportunities, that you squandered and misused. You feel terrible about it and most of the time you are depressed because you can’t stop thinking of the great things you could have achieved if only you hadn’t been such an idiot. You feel stupid, silly, foolish. That’s okay. We all do. Every single one of us can tell a sordid story of how we messed things up at some time in our lives. It is the difference between successful people and the ugly has-been. Successful people learn from their mistakes, depressed, dull people can’t stop thinking about what they’ve lost and how sorry they are that they lost a great opportunity in the past. Choosing to learn from experience strengthens you and pushes you a rung higher on the ladder of life. It means you are not looking back or looking down, it means you have your eyes ahead, knowing how not to do things and where not to look. Life is like a big circle of events and everything that has gone around tends to come around. It’s in that second turn of events that all your hard lessons come to play, so that in the places where you stumbled, you now leap. You have grown tougher muscles and greater resilience. Your newly acquired traits now work for you because you have learned your lessons.

7.    Live in the present moment:

Don’t completely waste the season of life you are in now, simply because you want the next one to begin

Don’t be in a hurry to arrive in your tomorrow that you miss out of your today. Today is just as important to your dreams and as a matter of fact, all the time you’ve got. The future is simply a succession of several days. The quality of your future is the dependent on the quality invested in each day. It’s a natural human instinct to want to cram into one day what you should do in a week. It happens to us all. Wisdom comes from knowing that, that isn’t possible, instead do what you can for today and leave the rest. Put into one day what you know your strength can, then do a little extra. The laws that govern our universe always reward the extra mile. When you have done your best and your extra mile, add to both fullness of mind, body and soul. Be fully present, soak in every moment and watch your days mature into a star studded sky with fireworks and balloons. The richness of our lives is generated gradually from the fullness of time savored everyday. To be in so much hurry to begin the next phase of your life, is to escape the goodness of what today holds for you and without that piece of the puzzle, your tomorrow may not be as promising as you expect. Enjoy this moment, and if it is painful circumstance, then let it sink in, lean in to your pain, be fully aware of what you are creating, in good weather and in bad weather and when that building block is fully formed and cast, set it in place and await tomorrow’s opportunity. How do you build the longest wall in the world? One brick at a time.

8.    Be thankful:

Do not take anything for granted, not one smile or one person or one rainbow, or one breath, or one night in your cozy bed.  
~Terri Guillemet

In all things, give thanks for there is good in any situation. A life of gratitude is a life that recognizes that even the worst days of our lives have some virtue in them. Recognizing this and seeking out things to be thankful for everyday puts you in a position of strength and gives you power over the worst of conditions. An attitude of gratitude shifts your focus from the negative and places it on the positive happenings around you. Gratitude is the open door to abundance. Begin to note down at least 3 or 5 things to be thankful for at the end of everyday. Make this a habit and you’ll discover that even on the gloomiest days you will find yourself going to bed lighter and happier. You can never go wrong with gratitude, they are like tiny drops of water that make an ocean. Being thankful for the small seemingly insignificant things opens doors for the bigger things. When you have a set of written goals you want to achieve, having an attitude of gratitude sets into process the laws of attraction in your favor and more and more of the good stuff you expect begin to happen for you. I’ll like to share with you a note on gratitude I’ve had for sometime now:

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life, it turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into clarity, problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

It’s not happiness that makes us thankful, but thankfulness that makes us happy. – Marc & Angel

9.    Have a positive self-image:

You can’t do what’s right while you’re telling yourself the wrong things

You must have heard it said many times; you cannot outperform your self-belief and perception of yourself. If you think you can, you can, if you think you can’t, you can’t. A good book to read for more information on negative thinking, is ‘As a man thinketh’ by James Allen. You can have the biggest dreams and the brightest of ideas and you still will not so much as scratch the surface if you don’t think much of yourself and what you can achieve. Anyone can have a big dream but not many think they can achieve their dreams, that is why only a handful of the multitude are truly successful. Another book to look out for is ‘Think and Grow Rich’ by Napoleon Hill. Having a dream is only one side of the coin, believing that you can and letting nothing crush that believe is another ball game all the together. You can be anything you want to be, the key is to realize this and decide that following your dreams can only bring you one thing – true fulfillment. Believe you can and reinforce that belief daily.

10.    Take your chances:

In the end we regret the chances we didn’t take. We wish we took that exam or went back to school. We wish we had accepted the promotion that was going to take us to a new city, we wish had the baby, went on the road trip, loved more, made that call, we wish we walked away when we could. Why do we hide? It is because we are afraid, we are afraid of making mistakes and most times when we’ve made a mistake instead of taking a chance, a step of hope ahead, we make a more dreaded mistake and our lives begin to spiral further into the darkness. We are too afraid to fail so we hide and watch our dreams wither away. You have to take a chance on your dreams, take a chance on hope and trust that even if you fail, you would have at least conquered your fear. A life spent making mistakes is not only more enjoyable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. Take as many chances as you can. The Law of Probability tells us that, if you take enough chances in the direction of your dream, you will eventually hit a bulls eye. The key is to keep taking those chances.

11.    Pave your own unique path:

With great dreams come great responsibilities and part of that responsibility is you being original. You must recognize that, just like stars, we all have our own place in the sky, and we shine differently. What will make you stand out in the world is the very thing that only you is capable of creating. It doesn’t matter how many people are doing the very same thing, the magic you bring is the difference you make and that magic is found in your interpretation of life. Decide to bring your flavor into the mix all the time, not by being overbearing but with your own little contribution. Why do does it seem like everyone who makes it big has a magic touch, well, its because they do have a magic touch and its not just them, you do too. Everyone does, you only have to discover your style, and your method and it doesn’t have to be bizarre for it to be unique, you only have to trust it and love it when you discover what it is. Don’t try to be anyone else but yourself.

12.    Stop wasting your time:

You spend your most productive moments trying to make someone love you, or you spend the entire week talking cheap about other people, what they are not doing right, what they could do better, how the last thing they did was such a downer. You are out most of the time cruising around town and catching fun, in the name of life-is-too-short, for that reason you are having a girls night out every night and yet you are going to be famous one day. You are so certain of this because when you were much younger, you were known for having such a big talent. Stop wasting your time and wake up. Nothing big happens without handwork. Stop believing that crap that someday, whatever will be, will be, the angels have got your back. If you don’t put it in, you can’t get it out, period. So stop wasting your time and get busy. Read up about your profession, follow those who have gone ahead of you, have a set of written goals, have a plan and you’ll do just fine.

13.    Never forget how special you are:

You are one in a million. You have something to offer. There is someone out there waiting for you to awaken so that they too can find themselves. People always need someone to lead them, someone to tell them they can, someone to show them how. And all of our lives we are either of such people, we are either leading or are being led. While you’re looking up to those who inspire you, others are also looking to you for inspiration. You are a beacon to someone or some place. You can make a difference in the very place you find yourself. You are the answer to someone’s questions, you carry the balm that will heal some, a relief to many who are hurting. You are special, believe that you are, it is a good place to start. Your life will begin to change the moment you come to that awareness.

14.    Keep moving forward:

Anyone can feel overwhelmed and give up; it takes a wise person to take compassionate, persistent and committed action every day. – Marc & Angel

This whole dream-come-true business is a daily thing. Let your eyes look straight ahead. When you fall down, the next thing to do is to get up right back again and continue running. If you feel weighed down, take a moment and check yourself, you may be dragging a few weights around, let them go. Anger, pettiness, grudges and lies, will weigh you down and suck out all the energy you need to keep going. There would be slow days, days you will feel you are not doing your best, that’s fine, so long as you keep on the path. Then there will be the days when your energy is at its peak and you can almost feel yourself leap into the air and fly. They are the ups and the downs, and they are normal when chasing your dreams, only never give up. Only those who keep moving forward arrive at the finish.

You can try any of these steps and your life will change. There is a magic attached to intentional learning, what it does is that, the moment you adopt one principle and begin to make it work for you, you automatically embrace the other principles. The reason is this, no one principle exists in isolation, they are all connected. So start anywhere, begin with the one that speaks directly to you and your life will begin to change. You will find that making your dreams come true is not some strange business, that is isolated from the life you already live, the one is linked to the other.

Dreams

 

If you’ve been inspired in any way by this post, kindly share your thoughts in the comment section. If you will like to also share, privately, what you are learning, or have any questions, shoot me an email — citygirl_muse@yahoo.com. XOXO

I am going to make the rest of my life the best of my life

Here is the heartfelt cry of the girl who has decided the mistakes of her yesterdays will not keep her stuck in regrets and the soiled state of had-I-known. Here is the deep longing of the woman who has swallowed the bitter pill of truth, that says, yes I messed up at such and such a time and that’s okay because I can change.

It is the moment of truth for the girl who is done crying over spilt milk and decides right after wiping her face and nursing her wounds, that it is time; time to clean up her mess and move on. It is the voice of a resolute determination and an unshakable stance, that spits in the face of the accuser, saying, “You cannot put me down. I’m going on ahead and you cannot stop me.”

She is looking in the mirror and saying to herself; I may not be proud of my past, I may not be proud of the silly mistakes I’ve made, I may not be proud of the pitfalls I’ve encountered, and all the traps I walked blindly into, I may not be proud of my past choices and how they always resulted in the worse of circumstances, I may not be proud of the previous years but I am going to make the rest of my life the best of my life!

She is in a quiet place, and in deep thought she summons the fragile pieces of her broken dreams, beliefs, value systems and aspirations. With steady hands, she pieces them back together, she will make a lovely collage of these shards and splinters. Like the coat of many colors, she will sew each piece with love, not condemnation, with patience, not anxiety, with gentleness, not brashness, with hope, not fear.

She will remain in that still quiet state of being, where her dreams are safe, where they can recover, where they can breed, where they can blossom. Like a gardener, with diligent hands, she will prune and trim, she will nurture her dreams within the confines of her most delightful thoughts.

And if per chance her thoughts begin to drift to where dreams are snatched and snuffed out, into the dark alleys of doubt, crippling fear and unbelief, she will quickly retrieve them with the crook of the shepherd’s staff, the staff of her strong-will and determination.

She will remain in control. This is her life and she will dress it and grow it. She will cherish the gift of one glorious day after another and with persistence and focus she will tell a new story, plant a new garden, create a new reputation, create a new life.

And when days turn into weeks, and weeks into months, and months into years, her life is a huge blooming victory garden. When her pretty face lights up a room, and her strong voice echoes with power before a great multitude, when her collage of patched dreams becomes a great masterpiece, then the world would say, “Look, there goes a vision…”

They are oblivious of her dark days, the long nights of toil and crafting, of planting and watering, of watching and believing, of pain and of joy all mingled together. They did not see what went on in those quiet places beside still waters. They only see her lit up face, hear her soothing rhetorics, and her graceful gait.

This could be you. This could be your story. It doesn’t matter where you’ve been, where your past has landed you, or if you’ve been washed up unto distant shores, far, far, way from home. You can begin all over, right at the bottom and work your way to the top. You can make the rest of your life the best of your life.

Best smile

If you’ve been inspired in any way by this post, kindly share your thoughts in the comment section. If you will like to also share privately, what you are learning, or have any questions, shoot me an email — citygirl_muse@yahoo.com. XOXO

10 tough decisions you will have to make in pursuit of happiness

In matters of style, swim with the current;
in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson


1.    Follow your heart to your dreams:

Have a set of written goals. The one who seeks to be anything in life will first dream and then after dreaming will have a plan to attain that dream otherwise, as the saying goes, she would have planned to fail. Deep within you is a familiar rhythm, your in born music, the one you have been humming from the word go. You know what makes you happy. There is a place for everyone on the grande stage of life and every time you look at the stars, you see a glimpse of  who you want to be and that image gets clearer as you take consistent steps towards your goals.

When you follow your heart ,you find your voice…and opportunity, love and a world of difference will be there to greet you!

Follow your dreams to reach your goals, and then follow your goals to reach your dreams. Hold your image. Life’s storms will always rise to rock your boat, and when life happens, hold fast to dreams. You will make many turns that turn out to be dead ends, you will start-over plenty of times, you will try many ideas that would last only a few moments of success like fireworks, you will fail many times. It sounds scary but it is true. It is the beauty of dreams and that is the price you pay for staying committed to them.You’ll face lots of mountains to climb, and you’ll have the strength and belief to do it.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.~Les Brown.

2.    Walking away from anything that no longer defines you

Life is in phases and some of the best decisions you will ever make in life is knowing when a phase is closing and then trusting your intuition to lead you into the next phase of your life. These change in seasons are like the changing tracks of a rail road, they are not in the least easy transitions to make. Once you fail to turn your wheels ever so slightly to take that new course, you will continue on a course that has no plan, and no future for you but routine which leads to staleness, unproductively and inevitably extinction. The only constant thing in life is change and to find true happiness you must keep changing, keep trusting your gut to walk away from overdue liabilities, obligations and interactions that no longer resonate with you. Sometimes life calls for you to adapt, grow new skills and adaptable traits. As you keep making these changes, you will learn the difference, to know when to adapt and when to walk away. One way to know, is to listen to your inner yearnings and longings, they never lie. Its like hunger to food, when you feel those pangs you know you have to eat. Ignoring your hunger will lead to ulcers.

You can find your way in life by start listening to the wisdom of your body, and your intuition when feelings of joy appear it’s a good thing to trust that you are on the right way

And once you succeed in making that change, you develop adaptable traits to adjust into a new territory of influence. You will be misunderstood and sometimes be seen as confused or ridiculous. In the last couple of years, I’ve changed jobs quite frequently, and even though many have seen this trait as unethical, I have somehow been able to make sense of all the transitions that occur in my career. As unethical as those changes seemed, each phase brought with it new experiences that have enriched my growth. Making these choices come at different stages for all of us, for one person it could mean saying goodbye to a job, while for another it could be changing location or moving house, it could be the close of one business and the start of another. Whatever it is, you must trust your instincts to make the right move once it is time. Also remember, if you aren’t on a journey, hardly will any of these make any difference to you. You have to be going somewhere before the road signs can make any sense to you.

3.    Staying true to relationships that grow you

Even the finest dreams and the biggest ideas, like great ships, can be sunk because of the slightest shift in focus. You must recognize for yourself people who continue to point you in the direction of your dreams and then nurture those relationships. These are the people who keep telling you how good you are at something even when you don’t see the good yourself. They are the ones who always remind you of promises you have made to achieving certain goals and they never condemn you when you fail. These people are usually the minority, they are hardly among the general crowd seeking entertainment. They’re only concerned to see you begin to live up to their expectations of you which is — you can do better than you are doing now! They are like your sounding boards, they help you stay in line, and caution you when you are drifting away from your own blueprints. They sense when you’re off track and then help you get back on course. They keep you accountable. They believe in you, in your talents and in your dreams. There’s no point crowding your life with a bunch of people who literally have no use in your growth. Stick with the ones who do and nurture these friendships. Remember to return the favor when opportunity presents itself. Be a trusted friend and encourager.

4.    Choosing your circles wisely

If you want to fly like an eagle, you’ll know then that your place isn’t with the chickens. And to desire to fly like an eagle, will mean you are an eaglet needing the skill an assistance of a full grown eagle. In choosing your circles, you will be deliberating creating for yourself an environment that will help you achieve your goals. There will be a lot of friction along this path, because your priorities begin to change and when your priorities change, the company you keep changes automatically. The places you go to begin to matter and your entire outlook begins to conform to your new rules of engagement. With your new ‘highly experienced’ associations you are not afraid to stretch beyond your comfort zone. Be prepared for backlashes at this junction, because a few people would begin to say the dreadful ‘you-have-changed’ and not too many people are comfortable with being told they have changed. It is a statement of betrayal that puts you in the position of the betrayer. However, in life, when in pursuit of happiness – the fulfillment of our dreams – many things would shift and if we don’t shift with the seasons, we put ourselves at the risk of simply existing.

Everything feeds you; food, music, environments, people. Let the best surround you

5.    Consciously shutting out negativity and toxic relationships:

Our minds have a default negative thinking pattern. It is usually easier for the human mind to think negative thoughts than positive thoughts. It is easier to feel fear than bravery, to anticipate the worse than to have faith. We sight the flaws very quickly than the pluses. However true happiness only comes to those who anticipate it not those who talk about it. You have to consciously expect to be happy to be happy, in that case happiness becomes a choice not a feeling. You have to make conscious efforts to shut out the nagging thoughts of doubt and crippling fear that show up anytime you  think about your goals. It is like a daily routine of workout, you keep at it daily, reminding yourself of  what you hope to achieve and repeatedly exchanging one negative thought for a positive one. If a thought says, “what makes you think you will succeed?”, you say “what’s stopping me from trying?” In the other hand, you have dream killers, and they come in different forms, sometimes they are simply negative people telling you your dreams are absurd, other times they could be a relationship that has gone from casual misunderstanding to poisonous. When someone keeps bringing up the past in peaceful times, that person does not align with your center, and continuous references to the past draw you back, you need to stay focused. It could be letting go of someone who continues to hurt you, a relationship you have to genuinely admit is over and can only do you more harm than good. Sometimes because we are deeply in love with someone, we are unable to see objectively but if we are in love with our dreams just as much, we can find the strength to let go of an abusive relationship and then take hold of our dreams. This can be a wrenching and extremely painful process but one you will be thankful for in the end.

6.    Let bygones be bygones:

Regret is the most wasted human emotion.  It removes energy, leads you down the wrong path.

Hold no one to ransom. Have no place for hate in your hate, hate is a poison that kills you slowly and sucks you dry of joy and peace. Forgive the offender. Blame no one for your misfortunes. Forgive the past, and believe that people can be better than they are and that your circumstances can change if you remain consistent and don’t look back. Make amends and build bridges, embrace new opportunities to experience the best out of every circumstance and and every individual. Look straight ahead and careless about people or stuff whose association you may lose along the way, consider them to be weights, as you must travel light on this journey if you must reach your destination.

7.    Love what you’ve got while seeking what you love

Be thankful for today, embrace the gift that is today and have hope for tomorrow. Cherish the gift of time you have now, and the chances and circumstances that come your way to bring you closer to your dreams. Nurture your youth and your health while you have the chance, spend time with your loved ones, and continue to remain loyal and committed to your dreams. And when tomorrow comes, you will be more than ready to harvest its fully bloomed fruits and goodness.

8.    Take responsibility for your actions:

Nobody but you is responsible for your life. When you’re in the wrong, apologize with deep sincerity and whether or not the other person is appeased, choose to forgive yourself and move on. When you’ve made a mistake, accept that you made a wrong call and learn from your misfortunes. Be kind to people you meet along the way even though you may be having the worse of the days. Always speak a kind word or say nothing at all. If words don’t come easily for you, then try smiling, a smile speaks many languages and never goes wrong.  Avoid giving excuses, only say sorry or thank you. Avoid explanations, accept the rebuke with graciousness. Work hard, stay focused and be consistent. Be a giver, give of yourself and expect less in return; the law of giving says, the more you give of yourself without expecting anything in return, the more will come back to you from the most unexpected sources. Take no prisoners. Take your own risks, trust your instincts, don’t wait to be spoon fed with the ideas of others. Follow your path, tell your unique story with each day that unfolds and trust that your own experiences will lead you to your grande finale.

9.    Be patient:

Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not.  It just takes some time to connect all the dots. – Marc & Angel.

Patience is a great virtue that comes with a very great price. It means that sometimes you will chose to walk the distance and not hitch a ride because you know that walking will toughen your muscles. Other times it will mean you will go the full length, encountering bumps, potholes and ditches, bushes and dry patches instead of using the shortcuts because you know the end will justify the means. Also patience means, putting in the work, because if you don’t put it in, you are getting nothing out. You will do well to have patience, because patience always carries within itself great rewards that only reveal themselves in the end.

Nature  does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
– Lao Tzu

10.    Whatever happens, choose happiness

In your pursuit of happiness, you will suffer many trials, you will have bad days, and bad weather. You will encounter dead ends, and negative people. You will fail many times, you will make silly and embarrassing mistakes. You will let people down, your priorities will change, you will change as well. You will keep changing, it is the one thing that remains constant, every other thing shifts to conform to your transitions and as you move along, some people will go, others will stay, many will disappear, and a few new ones will show up. Sometimes you will not understand what you are feeling or what you are doing nor where you are going, whatever happens, remember to choose happiness. Whether you’re down, or your just living, at every moment and at every junction, choose happiness. Make no exchange for less, trade it for nothing. Stay thankful, stay grateful, stay hopeful and ultimately, stay happy.

 

Choose happiness

3 important questions that sum up your entire existence

Did I love? Did I live? Did I matter? – Brendon Burchard

Did I love?

True love that is genuine and whole, is love that is first, love of self before it can be shared with another. Love that is truly pure, giving, and selfless must first love the being that embodies it. If you don’t love yourself, you cannot truly love another. In the bible, it says, Love your neighbor as your self. You can only know how to love another when you have immersed yourself in self-love. Did I love myself for myself? Did I love myself for who I am and what I am? Did I love my self with all its imperfections and inconsistencies? Did I love myself and believe in what I could become? Did I love?

Let’s continue doing good things for ourselves and each other, and dance to the wonderful tune of life

The answers you find, will tell you what to expect when you take the question to the next level. Did I love the people I came across during my life’s walk? Did I encourage or demoralize? Did I embrace or push away? Did I give or did I selfishly drain? Did I love or did I judge? Did I love or did I hurt? It goes to say, if you loved and accepted yourself, you will love and accept others. However, if you are in conflict with yourself most of the time, you will inevitably be in conflict with others. If you are a loving, centered, happy person, you will only give to others what you have not what you don’t have.

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate – Oprah Winfrey

When answering this very personal, and intimate question, remember to shine the flashlight on yourself first. Have you connected with your inner self enough to love who you are for yourself? Be kind with yourself, rather than being brash and mean, be gracious. There is no condemnation, discover your truth and make amends, after all it isn’t the end of your life yet. There is plenty of time to make amends. Begin now.

 

Did I live?

Create your own life story and make it a real epic adventure

I am an advocate for living life to the fullest. My friends know me well for taking risks and preaching the gospel of ‘risk taking’. Some say I am a free spirit, no actually the statement in question actually went thus “You are too much of a free spirit.” I still laugh at the memory of that conversation because I know a large part of it is true.

I just cannot stand for a moment anything that looks like or threatens to take away my freedom. Why should I be a caged bird when I can have the sky? Why should I be content with being someone’s pet — a gold fish in a fishbowl — when I can be my own boss in the deep blue sea? It is a risk I am willing to take, to be thrown into the deep blue and discover new territories of dominion. It’s been scientifically proven that a gold fish will grow more than twice its size when it is made to live in a swimming pool. Imagine what it could become if it were thrown into the ocean. I am all for taking risks and stretching beyond our comfort zones.

Dream no small dreams, for they have no power to move the hearts of men.
~Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Dream big and live life outside the glamorous, comfort of being a show piece in a fish bowl. Take your risks, write your our stories and be brave to tell them. And when you do, watch how it moves the hearts of men. Did I live? Did I give my best? Did I try all I could? Did I seize my opportunities? Did I play my cards or did I shy away in denial? Did I live or did I settle for less? Did I live or did I succumb to fear? Did I live or did I remain a coward? Did I live or did I fade into mediocrity? Did I live or did I give up my rights to be heard?

Life was meant to be lived and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn their back on life. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Again be kind to yourself, and be true as being true can get. Find what gives you the most fulfillment, pursue it because you love it, and in doing so you will achieve it. And whatever that means to you, make it your mantra to seek out what you love, and follow it till the end. Dare to go on your own adventure of self-discovery.

It could be taking photographs, and freezing moments of special memories for people and their loved ones, that may be the very thing that gives you zing. Or teaching in a local school and providing free education for poor children in a distant village. If that is what makes your heart beat faster, by all means be that person. Live!

To die is poignantly bitter, but the idea of having to die without having lived is unbearable. – Erich Fromm

Did I matter?

Life is service to humanity. Therefore finding the balance between self-gratification and that service is the place where your life begins to matter. Did I matter or did I simply sail by? Did I matter or did I fade into the background? Did I matter or was I only a spot on the huge canvass of life?

If you can not feed a million people, then feed just one. – Mother Teresa

There is wisdom in beginning right where you are while you keep your eyes on your big picture. Start with a loved one, a friend needing assistance, begin to spread your magic with your little circle of influence and witness the effect of your small touch spread into large waves of transformation. You can enlarge your circle of influence with just one meaningful action of purpose like the drop of a single stone in still water, the rippling effect will always spread beyond your physical effort.

However, if you get carried away chasing your dreams and riding your white horse to utopia, busying yourself with checking off your adventure list, harvesting and gathering, filling your truck with stuff and more stuff, and proudly waving the flag of having worked hard to deserve all your plunder; you adorn yourself with medals and with pride gaze upon your trophies and rewards, remember this,

Remember happiness is a way of travel, not a destination. – Roy Goodman

Remember that true happiness is not in what we acquire but in what we relinquish for the happiness of others. It lies in the reason why you have been beautifully endowed with so many talents, and ideas and genius. It is so you can fill empty cups, seal up leaking roofs, provide lamps for those in the dark, some gratification for people who follow you, a bit of hope to those who look up to you, and providing fishing nets to as many as you can teach to fish.

It is so that you can matter. Isn’t that the reason why we work so hard, so that our lives can have some sort of meaning, so that we can feel some essence bubble up our souls and flow through us to as many as possible, quenching their thirsts and satisfying their patched lips? Isn’t that why we spend so much time putting in the work and staying up at night?

We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. – Mother Teresa

In the long run, never hold back, never pull back, always be doing and always be giving, never feel you are not doing enough, always try to do your best. Remember the law of giving; give and expect nothing in return, give your best, give your all and your reward will come from places you least expect.

Did I love? Did I live? Did I matter? – Brendon Burchard

Angel's friend

The joys of imperfection

God, grant me the serenity to Accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I Can and the Wisdom to know the difference.

With pain comes scars, and our scars bear lessons and reminders of what can hurt us or break us. With much tears come clarity, and vulnerability that frees us from the hurt that plagues us. You beat yourself for the dents in your personality. You smack your head over with contempt for the rough edges in your makeup and the inconsistencies in your progress through life.

You are shy to look up and confront your battles because you feel your opponent will see your weaknesses and sneer at you with contempt. You cover your scars with layers of clothing, you are shamed by the memory of the battles you have survived. You focus on the reality that you’ve taken a few blows and forget the actual fact that you are a brave survivor.

You throw a veil over your face, you are either embarrassed by a blemish on your skin or ashamed of the innocence in our eyes. You become a victim of your own existence, imprisoned by your limiting beliefs and self-imposed denouncements. You cannot see the good in you, because you hold  your weaknesses too close to your eyes.

You are too busy feeling sorry for yourself, too busy trying to repair your flaws and fix the dents in your image. Little do you realize, that all the crookedness and unevenness sum up the amazing person that you are. That is what makes you so attractive. Your beauty is a collage of all your imperfections and right there at its center lies your true essence.

Your imperfections form a magnetic field drawing toward you the very opposites that complete you. It is the joy of imperfections, where you embrace all your flaws knowing that accepting they exist is a step towards a deeper awareness, that reveals to you different levels of strength and all the possibilities that can be yours.

Embracing your weaknesses and blemishes is a step towards completeness. Completeness is not the absence of flaws neither is perfection the elimination of it. Your imperfections can lead you to wholeness if you will choose to embrace them, change your perspective and begin to see them differently.

The Law of Opposites says that within every disadvantage is an equal and opposite advantage. What that means is this, your weaknesses are a sign that you can be twice as much stronger, twice as much a victor, twice as much a success. If you are so afraid and terrified, then you can be so brave and dauntless, you only need to find the courage to flip the coin.

At the very spot where you believe you can’t, that is where you are strongest. You possess just as much bravery to overcome at the very same spot where you have been beaten down to a pulp. You can rise a champ, like a phoenix, if only you can find the strength to flip the coin.

These are the joys of imperfections, to embrace your imperfections is to embrace yourself, be in love with yourself, and be at peace with yourself. You are grateful for your scars because they are medals of having conquered in the battles of your past. They remind you of your bravery, that once upon a time, you stood your ground and fought, and even though you took a beating, you survived.

Begin to see your flaws as the door way to your inner mojo, like super heroes, you can save the world using the very thing that once maimed you. It is time to wake up and answer your call, lift up those eyes and see the chaos that only you can fix.

Rise up to your responsibilities today, don’t wait for perfection, there is no such thing as being perfect. Only imperfections, woven beautifully into a magnificent piece of tapestry for all the world to behold with wonder.

Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart, don’t know how to laugh either. – Golda Meir

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