Great minds

Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

Writing and reading are collaborative acts in the making and performance of space-time. Readers participate; they become, partly, writers. The reader is its co-creator. – David Morley

Hi everyone! I’ve been nominated for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award by my one and only ‘Superfan’ 🙂 – Gypsyess, blogger at Wonder Of My Worlds. I only started this blog barely 3 months now so you can imagine my surprise and excitement to hear Stella say she nominated me for a world bloggers award. I was elated to say the least. Not only has her steady readership been a huge encouragement to me, it has also inspired me every time I’m about to write a new piece…I think about Stella and I say to myself, what freshness can I bring Stella’s way today? Or whenever I’m down and not feeling like my blogging is making any difference, I remember the generosity in her comments about how she is learning a lot from my musing.

If you are a writer, you would understand how these little drops here and there can make our stream gush and bubble. They are the only reason why we keep writing, because someone somewhere is feeding off our energy and is being illuminated from inside out because of our train of thought. There is no better reward for a writer.

So thank you Stella for taking the time to read, thank you for your generous comments, they hang like little medals on my computer desktop and my vision board. Thank you for your lavish and unselfish gesture of reblogging a few of my posts and thank you for nominating me for the Sisterhood of the Worlds Bloggers Award. You are just awesome! And that is an understatement. I hope that someday soon, the travel bug will cause our paths to cross. Oh, now that would be awesome!

Since I’m expected to nominate people as well, here are mine; first I will like to nominate Wonders Of My World, Stella’s blog – as far as I am concerned, she is the worlds most generous reader and writer, and since writers cannot exist without the reader, then Stella is indeed a blessing to us writers and I am a living testimony. Again if you are a dreamer like myself and you believe that dreams do come true then you should seriously visit Wonders Of my Worlds. It embodies true tales of a dreamer who has had a taste of what it means to live her dreams. And she is still dreaming. I can’t wait to see what part of the world she would be landing next 🙂

My second nomination goes to Marc & Angel Hack Life – www.marcandangel.com . They are my muse. A friend of mine recommended them when I newly started this blog and I haven’t been disappointed. If you surf through my blog you will find a few quotes from Marc & Angel. They write about self-development matters to put it simply and I tell you no one does it better. The happily married couple reach out to thousands daily and the impact they are having is such an inspiration. I want to be like them when I grow up 🙂 Visit Marc & Angel for all your self-help matters and be sure to bring home with you a lifted spirit.

I will now go on to answer the 10 questions required for nominees:

1. What inspires you most to write?

Everything. My joys, my sorrows, my victories, my failures, life’s pleasures and backlashes. Above all, my walk with God. His mercies, his kindness, his favors, his goodness, his grace, and his righteousness. I’m inspired by how I am experiencing this beautiful life God has given me to live for as long as He’s given me to live it.


2. What it your favorite thing to do in the entire world?

LOL. My favorite thing to do in the entire world is to travel & to write. I believe very strongly that the one cannot go without the other. And even though I have managed, all these years, to survive with the other i.e. with writing only, I am certain beyond all reasonable doubt that it is only a matter of time before the ‘one’ starts to unfold. After writing, my second most happiest thing to do in the world, is traveling. Like I said earlier. I am a dreamer. And I do believe dreams come through.

3. If you could travel anywhere in our beautiful world, where would it be?

That is a tough question to answer. I am torn between Rome and the city of love. Torn between pasta and fine living. Torn between the coliseums and the Tower Eiffel. If I have to choose, I guess it would be Rome.

4. What is your favorite book?

I’ve read many books in my lifetime but my favorite still remains “A Voice in the Wind” by Francine Rivers. I’m yet to read a book or any story for that matter that has moved my heart and soul like this book did. And it was there I first met Rome in person.  I’ve been hooked ever since with curiosity and deep interest. The story is a trilogy – A Voice in the Wind, An Echo in the Darkness & As Sure as the Dawn. Set in Rome, Ephesus, and ancient Germanic settlement.

5. What are you most proud of?

So far so good. This blog is my most prestigious achievement. It is one thing to say you’re a writer and it is another thing entirely to actually write. Secondly, it is one thing to say you are something and it is another thing to be that thing to the world, and then actually give off that essence and touch lives with it. This blog has given me all of that meaning in one.

6. How has your blog helped you most?

My blog has helped me to overcome my fears; my fear of not being sure if I’m good enough. My fear of ‘do I make sense’, am I making sense’, will I be heard, will I communicate, will I touch someone, and if I did, will they be better for it? I never found answers to these questions until I started this blog and that was when I truly embraced life as a writer.

7. What is your favorite childhood memory?

My favorite childhood memory was when I wrote and completed a fully illustrated book of short-stories inspired by Enid Blyton’s mini series. It was the first book I ever authored though never published. Hahaha. I took the book to boarding house one term and I would later regret it. It was the last I would see of it. It would have been such a treasured childhood souvenir had I left it in my mum’s care. I was only 8 when I wrote that book.

8. What is your biggest passion?

My biggest passion is writing. It is how I relate with myself and the world. And sometimes, it is how I talk with God.

9. Your favorite food?

My favorite food is spaghetti and all kinds of noodle food. There’s no doubt about that.

10. What is your favorite quote?

Okay this is a tough one. I have over a thousand in archive. It is hard to say. I have several that speak straight to my heart. I will like to share one on here

“Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.” ― G.K. Chesterton

 

In closing, I will like to thank Mariam Thompson at thecandidspot.wordpress.com and Kate&James at monkeypalmtree.com who both nominated Stella who nominated me. Thanks you ladies. You are all awesome sisters of my blogging worlds!!

 

And gracias to all my awesome readers. You are  co-creators of my musings. 🙂 🙂 xoxo

What truly matters in the end?

Everything…
Everything matters
Each word spoken and everything done matters
Everything left unsaid and everything left undone
Every transient thought
Every single day
All possible encounters fostered
Every single smile
The compliments paid
Every embrace felt
Every gratitude shared
Every gift given, even the tiniest handshake
Every promise made,
Every flimsy excuse
Every dream dreamed
Even the days that dragged on
And the nights that never seemed to end
The things you meant to do but never came around doing
And the one you did but never meant to
The things we should have done
The things we should have said
And the things we plan to do
The kindness we should have shown
The visit we should have made
Unwarranted procrastinations, and unredeemable opportunities, lost forever
The friend we could have been but failed to become
Family we could have had but were too proud to accept
Places we could have gone but too afraid to dream
The life we could have had but too short-sighted to believe
All of it matters in the end
Because everything is everything
The way we do one thing, is the way we do everything

Legacy

Of all the things I will like to be remembered by
Wisdom surpasses them all
An infinite flow of crystal soundness
Just a simple thought
That life is beautiful
And that it must be lived fully
With sheer wonder and with grace
That weakness is no sin
So long as it doesn’t become an excuse, cancerous
That strength isn’t redemption
Nonetheless it is a badge of honor
That true victory lies in overcoming one’s fear
Just as our true enemy isn’t the mortal next door
Rather it is a stealth darkness lurking within us
That in our greatest fear lies our greatest power
And that being our ability to not only love, but
Also be consumed by love in complete surrender
And it is this reality that weakens us
The knowledge of our inevitable vulnerability
Being our ability to surpass our humanity
A certitude that cripples us with great fear
And mangles our human capacity beyond reparation
So that rather than becoming superior beings we turn less human
We surrender to fear instead of love
We are subdued by darkness when we could be absorbed by light
Yet we are powerful beyond measure
Immortals dwelling in mortal suits
This is sound wisdom
This is what I would like to remembered by
That in the end, I overcame my fears

EPIPHANY

‘A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies… The man who never reads lives only one.’ – George R.R. Martin


I am reading a book that is literally turning my life inside out. I usually will like to share what book it is and who wrote it but this time around I choose not to. It feels too sacred to disclose. And too soon to uncover to the world. However I will tell you a little  something about it; it is telling me in many ways than words can describe. Still I will try to tell you as much as I can and quite simply and concisely too.

A book is a dream that you hold in your hand. –Neil Gaiman

The book is telling me to strip myself of what I think life is about, and begin to draw new connections and basically fill in the gaps in my world. It is telling me that there is so much out there for me to see and so much more for me to experience if only I will take the time to create these sceneries and these experiences for myself.

With each page I devour, I think to myself, that this author is going to kill me with pleasure — the pleasure of reading and rewriting in my mind’s eye what I am reading, is so intense. It feels as though I would suddenly orgasm and give up the ghost but each time I climax, I am revivified to relive the process over again. It is intense what this book is doing to me. I am being born again.

Whenever you read a good book, somewhere in the world a door opens to allow in more light. –Vera Nazarian

This is exactly what happens to you, whenever you pick up a book and read. Epiphany. A moment of sudden revelation and insight. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without books. The world is too large to comprehend or drink up in one big gulp. You have to learn to savor it in bits and reading books does that for us. It ushers us into new universes that only exist in the realm of the mind, and you begin to experience new truths, understand controversies, and deduce your own conclusions.

A good book on your shelf is a friend that turns its back on you and remains a friend. ~Author Unknown

Through books you are able to experience the author’s world without intruding yet still be as vivid and solid as the characters within the book, secretly observing for yourself their sacred world in the open space of your mind. You are opened to possibilities you never dared and then somehow you are almost immediately empowered to begin to dare them, you begin to challenge your own obscurities and seek your own answers, chart your own path.

In the end books empower us. And the kind of books you devour are a reflection of the depth of your hunger, the earnestness of your search, and the willingness of your will to be bigger, bolder and better. The frequency with which you read also in a way is proportional to the speed of your mind’s growth. Books in a way are our windows to the world we know, and doors into worlds yet unknown. Read a book a month and watch how it works its magic in you. A book a week or a book a month depending on your speed, brings you a step closer to your own moment of epiphany.

If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads.

–Ralph Waldo Emerson

books & reading

 

12 Secrets Game Changers Have in Common

I will do the work, it won’t be easy, it will be worthwhile

1. They are early risers
Love and cherish your mornings. There is something deep and spiritual about honoring your mornings with some reverence, like getting out of bed early enough and having some quiet all by yourself. It helps you begin your day on a fresh slate, knowing that every new day bears its possibilities as well as its challenges. You gain clarity, you set your priorities straight knowing there is only so much you can do in one day. Above all you drink in a blessing that is new, fresh, never before seen or heard or experienced, the blessing that is a new day, created for you to decorate and garnish as you so please. Ask any successful person you know and they will tell you that there is infinite power in honoring your sunrise. By rising early and quiet, with a clear mind, and a steady spirit intentionally free of worries, you are saying to the universe, “Here I am, ready yet again, to bring in a great harvest!”

2. They allow their angels to sing
Have you ever wondered why it seems like wealthy successful people have no worries? It is because they have mastered the art of giving the spotlight to their angels rather than their demons. We each have within us two voices telling us what we must do, the one you give prominence takes preeminence and that voice soon molds your personality. Do you lean more into your problems or do you lean more into your possibilities? This is not an easy thing to do especially when nothing seems to be going as planned. However it is one of the greatest strengths of game changers. When they have an idea, they plant it in their hearts and water it daily, never minding how long it takes for it to sprout. They are patient, they allow their angels sing to them with all kinds of sweet melodies, of hope, of positive eventualities, and songs about miracles, and impossibilities becoming possible. It is how Edison got through 1,000 mistakes without quitting. He did not allow his failures to trap his mind in limbo. He let his angels sing.

3. They are willing to wrestle their demons
Letting your angels sing isn’t exactly a joy ride. You are going to have demons in pursuit, your demons. Life is about an ongoing conflict between two masters, they go by different names in different circumstances. Light and darkness, truth and lies, positive thoughts and negative thoughts. In this case, they are called, angels and demons. It is a battle, a struggle, a tale of two cities. Be willing to wrestle your demons, only never give in. That is what keeps the tough going — tough times. And they are temporary, after a while your demons drawback, to fight another day. So be persistent, never let them overpower you, if you keep it up long enough, they soon mellow and bow to the stronger force — your never relenting singing angels. One way to keep your angels a gazillion steps ahead of your demons is by maintaining ‘number one’ — the early morning ritual. Angels love the lucidity of early dawns, it gives lift to their voices with their sopranos piercing through any obstacle and cracking it into bits and pieces, making room for you to spread your wings, creating new paths for you to explore, breaking new grounds for you to conquer. Never give in. Your demons are not as strong as they seem to be.

4. They hope afresh each morning

There is no greater destination in life than to have an endlessly changing horizon — for each day to have a new and different sun. — Marc & Angel

Hope keeps soul alive. Hope is food to the gladiator fighting to stay alive because he believes one day, if he pleases the crowd long enough, he might win his freedom. Have you ever been awed by a gladiators performance? The cheering crowd and the quivering coliseum are a sign that one day he could be free so in spite of the humiliation of being a pet project and a prisoner, he chooses to stay alive, all in hope of leaving the dungeon forever. A hopeless life is a meaningless life, with no pursuits, no aspirations, no pulse, only breath. One must always dream. Even when your goal falls through the cracks, derive another. Even when your treasure map goes into flames, awaken your instincts, let you intuition take over and see what surprises await you. Never wake up and just let things be, instead wake up and be awesome. Wake up and be gorgeous. Wake up and act as though it is christmas and there are tons of presents beneath the tree with your name inscribed on each.

5. They do something everyday to propel them towards their goal
Another way to put this is, they are not wishful thinkers. They are not day dreaming and snoring their way through life, cuddling their pillow and slurring about silly visions. They are real. They wake up and they pick up the axe, the pan, the golf stick, whatever it is they do for a living. They get to work. They put in another mile and then a mile extra. They give to each day, some sweat and some tears, then they put in more sweat and more tears. They keep going in this manner, day in day out, with their eyes on the big picture. They have a desired goal in mind. It is called a harvest. And we all know that harvests don’t drop from the sky, they are brought in by men who quite simply, go to work, and get their hands dirty. If Edison had 1,000 failures, it tells you how persistent he was day in, day out, trying something new in the direction of his goal and even though it seemed like he kept failing, each failure, being a result of action, only brought him closer to his eureka.

6. They recognize that the world needs them and they act accordingly

You are enormously significant. – You are one person out of seven billion people, on one planet out of eight, in one star system out of a hundred billion, in one galaxy out of another hundred billion.  And you are enormously significant! – Marc & Angel

If you’re going to be a game changer, then you must have a big ego, you must truly believe that you’re something to even think you can make a difference in your world. And that’s always a good to place to begin. Believing that you can be anything you choose to be and at any time or place or time. Its up to you. There are no special people only everyday people who have taken the courage to scribble the word special before their names. The minute you begin to realize that indeed you are special, you will move mountains, literally. Your mind opens up to all kinds of possibilities because you suddenly believe you can fly. And since you are special, it means there is something unique about you of which the world can benefit. Having this awareness will cause you to cherish your gifts and your talents, and it will make you want to invest precious time in developing these talents, so that your service is impeccable and memorable for all time.

7. They are genuinely concerned about the people they serve
It is not about you. Yes, you may get pretty comfortable in the end but this whole business isn’t all about you. It is for the greater good. For the good of mankind. Ever heard people say, that the fastest way to make money is to create better solutions for everyday problems. Little wonder food always sells, and power, and internet services in 3rd world countries, and mobile devices. Your rare talents are indeed gifts. They are what make you special and stand out in the world. They are what make you shine. They give you your luster among the stars. Gifts however are meant to be shared and not meant for you to keep away, or stored up to be eaten by moth. Successful people are genuinely concerned about their customers, audiences, subscribers and patrons. It’s always been about people and it always will. Keep improving. Keep seeking new ways to provide better solutions to the people you serve and do it with soul. Greed can only take you so far, but selflessness will continue to payoff long after you’ve left the scene.

8. They Maximize every second spent
Every second pays off. Game changers do not waste time. I read something recently, something that made me laugh silly and feel terribly sorry for myself at the same time. It said, “Ever wondered why you never see a commercial on Lamborghini cars? It’s because the people who can afford them are not sitting around watching TV.” In a generation only a few tabs away from going completely berserk with invention and creation, especially the invention and creation of entertainment, this may be a hard pill to swallow. However, there are people who have made significant impact in our world and they take their time seriously so that no second is unaccounted for, even when they play. This is going to shock you; would you believe, if I told you that the great Oprah Winfrey  never watches TV? Well she doesn’t. Google it! If the great TV content guru isn’t sitting around watching TV, then some of us have a long way to go. Then again it goes to say, that it must take some very serious commitment to ‘number 5’ for anyone to eliminate TV time. Also realize that anything that sucks up your attention and energy, like TV, is only sabotaging a significant amount of your precious 24 hours. I’m personally putting into practice the habit of placing my ‘number 5’ before any lousy indulgence.

9. They stay focused
Distractions can become a spice of life and less of a pain in the ass when you master how to hold the image of your big picture. Its like playing cards, you may deal a ton of cards and be dealt another ton in return but you never lose sight of your Aces. They are your game changers. Or like playing chess; ever watched two pros play chess before, the concentration is intense and the moves are few but intentional and deliberate. Whatever happens, your king must be kept safe from the opponent. Life can be likened to chess, your attention is your most treasured weapon. Let nothing but your target get your precious attention. Remember also, that energy flows where attention goes. Your attention is meant for making milestones and hitting a bull’s-eye. Be sure to have your focus stayed on your target at all times.

10. They make a mental note of every season in their lives
Game changers in someway, are historians. As part of their journey, they keep records, detailing every milestone that made a difference in their lives. They keep a notebook, a diary or a journal of some sort where they write down their big ideas, as well as their hopes and their conquests through life. We are able to read about the beautiful story of Anne Frank today because of the journal she kept during the war. Write down your goals, note down your mistakes, blunders and your genius discoveries. You don’t have to be a writer to keep a journal, and journals aren’t solely for heartbreaks and vendettas either. They are a place for storing your thoughts, your memories, your growth as you evolve through time. See it as a means for storing up delightful and adventurous stories of your life for the days ahead, like a road map. As a matter of fact, the journal benefits you the writer more than anyone else, because it serves as a compass for you on the days you feel lost or after you’ve taken a blow in major crises. Our experiences and our victories become to us a light and a compass when sometimes we find ourselves in the great maze of uncertainties.

11. They travel light
I first learned what it meant to travel light from my dad, rest his soul. He always placed emphasis on taking only what was needed for a trip. Likewise, on the journey that is the most important to you — the journey of your life — traveling light is essentially key. You will need your compass; your intuition, you will need your dose of inspiration, self-motivation and self-confidence among others, you will need your attention, your morning ritual, your singing angels, some soul and of course your blue print; the big picture. Anything else aside from these will be extra luggage, like guilt, regret, hate, self-pity, greed, arrogance, fear of the unknown to mention a few. Take your essentials, everything else is pretty much immaterial. Keep all your concerns to the minimal, even in your physical environment, make conscious effort to take out what’s in the way of your progress and your intentions. Too many junk at home have been proven to mentally clutter our minds with unwanted baggage. Free your living spaces and free your thought processes then welcome new horizons. There is too much good ahead to risk staying stuck in a hodgepodge of antiques.

12. They are night owls
I once read a romantic line that said, “Love, like a good cup of coffee, keeps you awake all night.” True that. If you have ever been in love, you will agree. Falling in love can be so consuming and enthralling, you lose count of time, musing, reminiscing, fantasizing, and desiring oneness. You are carried away writing poems and love letters or snuggled up in bed with your phone to your ears. It is the same with having dreams, a big idea or a goal. It feels like being high on something and you cannot sleep at night until you can place your actions on the same page with your blueprint. Until you can efficiently communicate your message to your audience. Until you have gotten it right for one day. Until you are fully satisfied, however vaguely, that you’ve had a connection with your one true love. You remain wide eyed long after everyone goes to bed and you are up first, long before the break of day. That’s the power of love. It goes to say, that one must fall in love with their dream. Sweet love that intoxicates the mind and drives the soul beyond the lengths until your image transmutes from a mere thought into tangible substance.

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14 different ways to make your dreams come true

There is no shortage of dreamers, only a shortage of people doing what it takes to make their dreams come true.

1.    Reconnect with your true self and your inner genius:

It is easy to lose sight of who you are after going through a very tough process. I remember being in a near fatal accident in 2008 on my way back to Lagos from Kano. I managed to escape with only a few bruises. I was still terrified by images of the somersaulting bus and everything when, that same night, only a few miles from home, I was mugged and everything I had on me was taken away by two street thugs. A few weeks after, a relationship I believed so much in, fell apart. The accident and the cascading events that followed, shook me so bad, for many months I was a shadow of myself. I would stare blankly into nothing, still in shock over everything that happened to me, things I’d previously only read about in books, about being dumped, about motor accidents and muggers. For a long time I was traumatized. It was almost impossible for me to expect or believe any good about myself. When tragedies hit you, your confusion paints a sudden and false image about who you are and your reality. You don’t have to accept it. You can change it. Deep within you, you know your true self. She is not lost, she’s only hidden beneath the avalanche of circumstances. There are so many voices jabbing away inside your head, you cannot begin to hear yours. You feel lost and the only way to find yourself again is to take away those layers, one at a time. This could be a slow process, of finding your quiet again and getting centered and regaining focus. A slow conscious process of letting go, letting all the weights roll off your back or simply shaking them off. It’s okay to feel a little lost after being rattled by all kinds of experiences, so long as you make the effort to get back to center. Reconnect with your inner genius.

2.    Take a leap of faith:

They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.  ~Confucius

Physically as humans, we change daily and so does our minds, and our souls. We are in constant transition and transformation. We are becoming the image that we believe the most — the ultimate picture of what success means to us. We may not shed off feathers or skin as vividly as animals do, but we are changing and we change daily. We tend to accept physical change easier than our inner growth. In fact we mostly neglect out inner growth and focus more on how we look on the outside. So we try to enhance outward beauty and clutter our spaces with stuff. Change is not a bad thing. Change is pleasant even though it can be painful and distressing at times. Accept your little moments of transformation, and dare to be better than you were yesterday. It is that stretch you make, between where you were yesterday and where you could be tomorrow, that becomes the leap of faith. Continue to take that leap and your dreams will equally leap a step closer. Faith is having confidence in what we hope for, and even though we do not physically see it, we are certain it will happen. Keep taking those leaps.

By leaving behind your old self & taking a leap of faith into the unknown, you find out what you are truly capable of becoming.

3.    Stop building walls, start building bridges:

You are a victim of the rules and beliefs you live by.

A wise saying goes, you are confined only by the walls you build yourself. They are your limiting beliefs, they are those sour, sad, unpleasant images hanging all around you, saying to you, “This is how far you get, go no further. There is nothing for you on the other side. This where it all ends for you.” The sad part is you believe those images, and you believe them because you keep reinforcing them with new ones. Every time something doesn’t work out, you go to your wall of famous defeats and hang up a new trophy of failure and you don’t attempt to give life another try. Be determined to pull down those walls that limit you and begin to build bridges into your beautiful unknown. Take your risks and let those images of failure become the granite floors you will tread upon as you pursue your dreams. Never turn your back on life, whatever happens, good or bad, use it as building material for your bridge and move on right ahead. Let every experience you encounter create for you a network of bridges that lead you to your desired destination.

4.    Trust yourself:

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. – Golda Meir

Stop thinking too much about the steps you are about to take that you end up doing nothing about your life. You flounder because you are not sure the next step  you are about to take is the correct step. Follow your heart, trust your intuition, it’s not always going to be right or genius; but how else can you sharpen your senses if you don’t utilize them? The more you trust your gut, the more correct instructions it would give you. Spend more time doing something about your life than you spend speculating about it. If you don’t trust yourself, there isn’t a chance you will trust even the most reliable sources, or even the wisest of suggestions and advices when they come along. So stop stalling, stop guessing, stop asking too many questions that lead you no way and start doing, start trusting and start acting. The more you trust yourself, the sharper your intuition, and the wiser you become and the happier you will be to live with yourself. Only a centered person can make their dreams come true.

5.    By all means mean what you say:

I try to mean every word I say when I write because what I say in my writing today, is a reflection of who I am now, whilst what I say tomorrow will be a reflection of who I have become. My words are the chronicles of my metamorphosis. A collage of my beautiful imperfections. A tapestry of my life’s revelations as they unfold. Be true to yourself and mean what you say, every word of it. Being true in your conversations will strengthen your values and beliefs and make you more of a reliable source and less a coward. Learn the art of interpreting your true essence and your value systems through the things you talk about, let the image people see of you be the one you have crafted, not a counterfeit. Let it be the person that you are inside and the person that you are becoming. Don’t say one thing and be another. Don’t say something that is in total disagreement with your beliefs simply because it is trending. Stay true to who you are, it is the only way to begin to dream, by letting your true voice be heard.

6.    Forget what you’ve lost and focus on what you’ve learned:

You probably have had great opportunities, that you squandered and misused. You feel terrible about it and most of the time you are depressed because you can’t stop thinking of the great things you could have achieved if only you hadn’t been such an idiot. You feel stupid, silly, foolish. That’s okay. We all do. Every single one of us can tell a sordid story of how we messed things up at some time in our lives. It is the difference between successful people and the ugly has-been. Successful people learn from their mistakes, depressed, dull people can’t stop thinking about what they’ve lost and how sorry they are that they lost a great opportunity in the past. Choosing to learn from experience strengthens you and pushes you a rung higher on the ladder of life. It means you are not looking back or looking down, it means you have your eyes ahead, knowing how not to do things and where not to look. Life is like a big circle of events and everything that has gone around tends to come around. It’s in that second turn of events that all your hard lessons come to play, so that in the places where you stumbled, you now leap. You have grown tougher muscles and greater resilience. Your newly acquired traits now work for you because you have learned your lessons.

7.    Live in the present moment:

Don’t completely waste the season of life you are in now, simply because you want the next one to begin

Don’t be in a hurry to arrive in your tomorrow that you miss out of your today. Today is just as important to your dreams and as a matter of fact, all the time you’ve got. The future is simply a succession of several days. The quality of your future is the dependent on the quality invested in each day. It’s a natural human instinct to want to cram into one day what you should do in a week. It happens to us all. Wisdom comes from knowing that, that isn’t possible, instead do what you can for today and leave the rest. Put into one day what you know your strength can, then do a little extra. The laws that govern our universe always reward the extra mile. When you have done your best and your extra mile, add to both fullness of mind, body and soul. Be fully present, soak in every moment and watch your days mature into a star studded sky with fireworks and balloons. The richness of our lives is generated gradually from the fullness of time savored everyday. To be in so much hurry to begin the next phase of your life, is to escape the goodness of what today holds for you and without that piece of the puzzle, your tomorrow may not be as promising as you expect. Enjoy this moment, and if it is painful circumstance, then let it sink in, lean in to your pain, be fully aware of what you are creating, in good weather and in bad weather and when that building block is fully formed and cast, set it in place and await tomorrow’s opportunity. How do you build the longest wall in the world? One brick at a time.

8.    Be thankful:

Do not take anything for granted, not one smile or one person or one rainbow, or one breath, or one night in your cozy bed.  
~Terri Guillemet

In all things, give thanks for there is good in any situation. A life of gratitude is a life that recognizes that even the worst days of our lives have some virtue in them. Recognizing this and seeking out things to be thankful for everyday puts you in a position of strength and gives you power over the worst of conditions. An attitude of gratitude shifts your focus from the negative and places it on the positive happenings around you. Gratitude is the open door to abundance. Begin to note down at least 3 or 5 things to be thankful for at the end of everyday. Make this a habit and you’ll discover that even on the gloomiest days you will find yourself going to bed lighter and happier. You can never go wrong with gratitude, they are like tiny drops of water that make an ocean. Being thankful for the small seemingly insignificant things opens doors for the bigger things. When you have a set of written goals you want to achieve, having an attitude of gratitude sets into process the laws of attraction in your favor and more and more of the good stuff you expect begin to happen for you. I’ll like to share with you a note on gratitude I’ve had for sometime now:

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life, it turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into clarity, problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

It’s not happiness that makes us thankful, but thankfulness that makes us happy. – Marc & Angel

9.    Have a positive self-image:

You can’t do what’s right while you’re telling yourself the wrong things

You must have heard it said many times; you cannot outperform your self-belief and perception of yourself. If you think you can, you can, if you think you can’t, you can’t. A good book to read for more information on negative thinking, is ‘As a man thinketh’ by James Allen. You can have the biggest dreams and the brightest of ideas and you still will not so much as scratch the surface if you don’t think much of yourself and what you can achieve. Anyone can have a big dream but not many think they can achieve their dreams, that is why only a handful of the multitude are truly successful. Another book to look out for is ‘Think and Grow Rich’ by Napoleon Hill. Having a dream is only one side of the coin, believing that you can and letting nothing crush that believe is another ball game all the together. You can be anything you want to be, the key is to realize this and decide that following your dreams can only bring you one thing – true fulfillment. Believe you can and reinforce that belief daily.

10.    Take your chances:

In the end we regret the chances we didn’t take. We wish we took that exam or went back to school. We wish we had accepted the promotion that was going to take us to a new city, we wish had the baby, went on the road trip, loved more, made that call, we wish we walked away when we could. Why do we hide? It is because we are afraid, we are afraid of making mistakes and most times when we’ve made a mistake instead of taking a chance, a step of hope ahead, we make a more dreaded mistake and our lives begin to spiral further into the darkness. We are too afraid to fail so we hide and watch our dreams wither away. You have to take a chance on your dreams, take a chance on hope and trust that even if you fail, you would have at least conquered your fear. A life spent making mistakes is not only more enjoyable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. Take as many chances as you can. The Law of Probability tells us that, if you take enough chances in the direction of your dream, you will eventually hit a bulls eye. The key is to keep taking those chances.

11.    Pave your own unique path:

With great dreams come great responsibilities and part of that responsibility is you being original. You must recognize that, just like stars, we all have our own place in the sky, and we shine differently. What will make you stand out in the world is the very thing that only you is capable of creating. It doesn’t matter how many people are doing the very same thing, the magic you bring is the difference you make and that magic is found in your interpretation of life. Decide to bring your flavor into the mix all the time, not by being overbearing but with your own little contribution. Why do does it seem like everyone who makes it big has a magic touch, well, its because they do have a magic touch and its not just them, you do too. Everyone does, you only have to discover your style, and your method and it doesn’t have to be bizarre for it to be unique, you only have to trust it and love it when you discover what it is. Don’t try to be anyone else but yourself.

12.    Stop wasting your time:

You spend your most productive moments trying to make someone love you, or you spend the entire week talking cheap about other people, what they are not doing right, what they could do better, how the last thing they did was such a downer. You are out most of the time cruising around town and catching fun, in the name of life-is-too-short, for that reason you are having a girls night out every night and yet you are going to be famous one day. You are so certain of this because when you were much younger, you were known for having such a big talent. Stop wasting your time and wake up. Nothing big happens without handwork. Stop believing that crap that someday, whatever will be, will be, the angels have got your back. If you don’t put it in, you can’t get it out, period. So stop wasting your time and get busy. Read up about your profession, follow those who have gone ahead of you, have a set of written goals, have a plan and you’ll do just fine.

13.    Never forget how special you are:

You are one in a million. You have something to offer. There is someone out there waiting for you to awaken so that they too can find themselves. People always need someone to lead them, someone to tell them they can, someone to show them how. And all of our lives we are either of such people, we are either leading or are being led. While you’re looking up to those who inspire you, others are also looking to you for inspiration. You are a beacon to someone or some place. You can make a difference in the very place you find yourself. You are the answer to someone’s questions, you carry the balm that will heal some, a relief to many who are hurting. You are special, believe that you are, it is a good place to start. Your life will begin to change the moment you come to that awareness.

14.    Keep moving forward:

Anyone can feel overwhelmed and give up; it takes a wise person to take compassionate, persistent and committed action every day. – Marc & Angel

This whole dream-come-true business is a daily thing. Let your eyes look straight ahead. When you fall down, the next thing to do is to get up right back again and continue running. If you feel weighed down, take a moment and check yourself, you may be dragging a few weights around, let them go. Anger, pettiness, grudges and lies, will weigh you down and suck out all the energy you need to keep going. There would be slow days, days you will feel you are not doing your best, that’s fine, so long as you keep on the path. Then there will be the days when your energy is at its peak and you can almost feel yourself leap into the air and fly. They are the ups and the downs, and they are normal when chasing your dreams, only never give up. Only those who keep moving forward arrive at the finish.

You can try any of these steps and your life will change. There is a magic attached to intentional learning, what it does is that, the moment you adopt one principle and begin to make it work for you, you automatically embrace the other principles. The reason is this, no one principle exists in isolation, they are all connected. So start anywhere, begin with the one that speaks directly to you and your life will begin to change. You will find that making your dreams come true is not some strange business, that is isolated from the life you already live, the one is linked to the other.

Dreams

 

If you’ve been inspired in any way by this post, kindly share your thoughts in the comment section. If you will like to also share, privately, what you are learning, or have any questions, shoot me an email — citygirl_muse@yahoo.com. XOXO

12 Quotes that tell you, you are not the first to travel this path

– Be Strong, Be brave, Always believe you can be better –


Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection,

to balance out how much of ourselves we give away – Barbara de Angelis

Always take time out to reflect on your life so you can refuel, receive from yourself and be positively charged to forge ahead. Most women are consumed by responsibilities and expectations, they forget to give to themselves, receive from themselves and love themselves back.

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. Gloria Steinem

This is usually the case when a woman finds that the man she is with is not the man she wanted to marry. It takes great faith and wisdom to take a step back and let the man become who you wanted him to be by letting him take up his responsibilities as the man whether or not he is empowered to. Men are wired to grow into manhood through tough and trying situations that prove impossible.

People think at the end of the day that a man is the only answer [to fulfillment].

Actually a job is better for me. Princess Diana

These are the thoughts of the career driven woman, the woman seeking adventure in the board room, the woman seeking first to build an empire where is queen. The woman who is mostly satisfied by what she does with her hands than by what a man’s hands can do to her senses. If this is you, these desires do not make you less a woman, you have only, to put it mildly, delayed gratification. Many would not agree with your choices, but thats okay, people will always have a different opinion. Only be true to your authentic self and always trust your intuition. They are your trusted guidance.

“If you meet a woman of whatever complexion who sails her life with strength and grace and assurance, talk to her! And what you will find is that there has been a suffering, that at some time she has left herself for hanging dead.”

― Sena Jeter Naslund

Just like men, women too are wired to learn wisdom and patience through hardship, heartbreak and disappointments. There’s hardly a woman without a past, and as much as we do not allow the past take preeminence in our lives, we live to learn from it. Our scars are our medals of conquest, of having fought a good fight.

“I am two women: one wants to have all the joy, passion and adventure that life can give me. The other wants to be a slave to routine, to family life, to the things that can be planned and achieved. I’m a housewife and a prostitute, both of us living in the same body and doing battle with each other.” ― Paulo Coelho

Our greatest strengths lie in accepting our weaknesses, conquering our fears and pursuing our dreams. Our struggles are proof that we are human and the strength to take one victorious step after another after every moment of weakness is proof that we indeed have within our selves the power to live as champions at every one point in time of our lives. If you battle, then be rest assured that within you lies the power to overcome. If you don’t overcome however, it is not because you couldn’t, rather you didn’t because you’d rather not. Nothing is beyond us. We are powerful beyond measure.

“She wore her sexuality with an older woman’s ease, and not like an awkward purse,never knowing how to hold it, where to hang it, or when to just put it down.”― Zadie Smith

I find this quote quite interesting because I see it every time in fashion magazines, in fashion police and the ‘dos and don’ts’ corner of lifestyle magazines. You see two women flaunting the same dress, one looks gorgeous, like a greek goddess, and the other looks like, well, to put it mildly, the dress was forced on her and she was pushed onto the red carpet right in front of the camera. Awkward to say the least, never knowing how to work the dress, or where to hang the purse. It all boils down to self-esteem. It is not our physical beauty that attracts others to us, is our inner beauty and the way we carry ourselves that is the magnet that pulls others to us. And we all have had our share of that silly, awkward moment.

“Nobody around here had ever seen a lady beekeeper till her. She liked to tell everybody that women made the best beekeepers, ’cause they have a special ability built into them to love creatures that sting. It comes from years of loving children and husbands.” ― Sue Monk Kidd

I’ll like to think that this quote also explains, in a way, why it seems  women struggle to disengage from  abuse relationships. It is probably because we believe we have been wired to love the pain, the weapon and the abuser above all else. We simply believe it is the way things should be. The man should cheat and it’s okay, because we cant do anything about it, because it is what men do — they cheat. We feel we must swallow the bitter pill, because it is what women do, we submit and in submission we submit to the lashing by the tongue and the whip. Yes, we are strong, but our strength is meant to build up and not tear down and worse of all, our strength is not meant for tearing down our morale and our self-esteem and self-worth. We must be brave and never be afraid to walk away from any relationship that reduces us from woman to beast.

“Never rearrange your life in order to meet Mr. Darcy half way. If he couldn’t see your worth at the moment you met then he won’t two years later. May the halls of Pemberly be filled with his regrets and your life filled with thankfulness because of this revelation” ― Shannon L. Alder

Many times, a girl will find herself in a situation where she is trying desperately to get the attention of a young man she is attracted to or in love with so to speak. And time and again I’ve witnessed in many occasions the extended persistence of feminine determination, and the disparaging, demeaning responses of the men in question. And for some absurd reason beyond comprehension, she just refuses to accept the bitter truth, that this dude does not see her at all and will not in two years if she kept up with all her gimmicks and parades. Another unsolved mystery when it comes to love and affection. It takes a wise understanding heart to walk away from the one who tolerates you so you can be found by the one who appreciates you.

“What is it about having a period that makes women so bitchy?”… It was an effort, but I said as sweetly as possible, “It isn’t that we’re bitchier, it’s that having a period makes us feel all tired and achy, so we have less tolerance for all the b***s*** we normally SUFFER IN SILENCE.” By the time the sentence ended the sweetness was long gone, my jaw was clenched, and I think my eyes were bugging out. Wyatt took a step back, belatedly looking alarmed.” ― Linda Howard

I believe this quote is quite self explanatory. On a good day, the woman may not mind being the punching bag but when she is having her period, she may not be just as patient. I also will like to believe that a man who truly cares  and knows his woman will know where to draw the line and be less of a nuisance whenever it is that time of the month.

“No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously whether she will or will not be a mother.” ― Margaret Sanger

Life is about making choices and letting those choices mold us afterwards. So choose wisely, be the hero not the victim. Trouble is, most times we are on default mode, autopilot, we just do because it is the tradition, it is the way things are, it is what people do at certain junctions of life. They get a job, they get married, they have kids, then they…well that is what life is all about family and everyone should make one. Fair explanation if you ask me, but how many women are having babies beyond their wishes at a time when they would have worked and built their careers or education for just a little stretch longer before welcoming the lovely bundles of joy? They suffer silently because somehow, babies shouldn’t be contested or planned, at least not when you are married, they should just happen because it is the way the world goes. People marry and then they have babies. To consciously choose whether you will or will not be a mother, permanently or temporarily is as big as choices go and it isn’t something you suddenly make up your mind about after you have sworn for better or worse. It takes two to tango. If you are going to  live your life a certain way, don’t put the cart before the horse, don’t wait till you are married before you pull out your workbook for happiness. Happiness is something you work at everyday. So be wise, work at being happy now not after you walk down the aisle.

“When a woman says, ‘I have nothing to wear!’, what she really means is, ‘There’s nothing here for who I’m supposed to be today.” ― Caitlin Moran, How to Be a Woman

As sweet as this statement may sound, it shows that slight lingering inside of us that keeps us looking outside of ourselves to find happiness and contentment. Everything we need, to be who we desire to be, is within us and until we are firmly aligned with our beliefs, our thoughts and our actions, we will always seek for something outside of ourselves to give us the completeness we desire. I have nothing to wear, is a popular complaint of the woman who is not happy with the way her life has turned out and is seeking to make up for it with what mundane things rather than finding inner peace and contentment.

“One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.” ― Jeanne d’Arc

Seek to live your life to the fullest, stop settling for less than you are worth, stop devaluing your potentials and your capabilities. Cease life at every moment and give every challenge your best shot. Be fearless and always throw your best punch, stretch your muscles and grow an inch taller with every feat you overcome. Believe in yourself, believe in what you can become and stay in pursuit of that dream. This life is for those who will live enthusiastically and excitedly, with hope and with determination. Decide today that you are one of such people.


 

Full life

 

Don’t pass on the lamp, the genie and your three wishes!!!

Dancing Queen

If it’s your turn to dance

Get up and swirl, glide and show us the samba

Let your voice be heard

If it’s your turn to sing

Open your mouth and let out the best melody you can summon

Our speeches come alive

When it’s your turn to speak

Be gracious and share your wisdom, take us down memory lane

When it’s your turn to show up

Be your best self and embrace us with the warmth of your presence

Dare

Watching you dance has loosened the rigidity of my limbs

Now I can sway, gyrate and tango

Listening to your mellifluous voice has awakened the music in me

Now I belt out the most harmonious rhythms

When I heard your speech, my heart suddenly shone with light

Now I can find my way through this darkened tunnel

I am blessed by the richness you bring each time you are here

Now I make certain I bring my magic touch to every moment

Let your light shine

When you let yourself shine with all its brightness and luster

You give others the permission to shine as well

Flying geese

When you unhinge yourself from your limiting beliefs

You spread your wings, and as you fly you attract a flock of geese* in your wake

Flowing stream

When you shake of the urge to stay numb and cold

You melt into a vibrant stream gushing with life and effervescence

When you find the light within and allow it flood your being

You realize that you not only light your path, you light your world

Love is sharing and receiving

Don’t pass on a rare occasion in order to hide your quirkiness

It is the doorway that enables another to accept her peculiarity

Don’t pass on the gift that is meant for you to have and cherish

It is perhaps the last key in the bunch, the one that eventually unlocks the door

Love and Affection

Don’t pass up the moment for love and affection

It may be your window to discovering the treasures you embosom

Don’t pass on the lamp, the genie and your three wishes

It is your opportunity to uncoil, and with deep breathe, air your dreams, wishes and desires

Free

*Dr. Robert McNeish, a teacher from Baltimore, MD wrote: ‘when one goose flaps its wings, it creates ‘uplift’ for the birds that follow…’