Career fulfillment

Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

Writing and reading are collaborative acts in the making and performance of space-time. Readers participate; they become, partly, writers. The reader is its co-creator. – David Morley

Hi everyone! I’ve been nominated for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award by my one and only ‘Superfan’ 🙂 – Gypsyess, blogger at Wonder Of My Worlds. I only started this blog barely 3 months now so you can imagine my surprise and excitement to hear Stella say she nominated me for a world bloggers award. I was elated to say the least. Not only has her steady readership been a huge encouragement to me, it has also inspired me every time I’m about to write a new piece…I think about Stella and I say to myself, what freshness can I bring Stella’s way today? Or whenever I’m down and not feeling like my blogging is making any difference, I remember the generosity in her comments about how she is learning a lot from my musing.

If you are a writer, you would understand how these little drops here and there can make our stream gush and bubble. They are the only reason why we keep writing, because someone somewhere is feeding off our energy and is being illuminated from inside out because of our train of thought. There is no better reward for a writer.

So thank you Stella for taking the time to read, thank you for your generous comments, they hang like little medals on my computer desktop and my vision board. Thank you for your lavish and unselfish gesture of reblogging a few of my posts and thank you for nominating me for the Sisterhood of the Worlds Bloggers Award. You are just awesome! And that is an understatement. I hope that someday soon, the travel bug will cause our paths to cross. Oh, now that would be awesome!

Since I’m expected to nominate people as well, here are mine; first I will like to nominate Wonders Of My World, Stella’s blog – as far as I am concerned, she is the worlds most generous reader and writer, and since writers cannot exist without the reader, then Stella is indeed a blessing to us writers and I am a living testimony. Again if you are a dreamer like myself and you believe that dreams do come true then you should seriously visit Wonders Of my Worlds. It embodies true tales of a dreamer who has had a taste of what it means to live her dreams. And she is still dreaming. I can’t wait to see what part of the world she would be landing next 🙂

My second nomination goes to Marc & Angel Hack Life – www.marcandangel.com . They are my muse. A friend of mine recommended them when I newly started this blog and I haven’t been disappointed. If you surf through my blog you will find a few quotes from Marc & Angel. They write about self-development matters to put it simply and I tell you no one does it better. The happily married couple reach out to thousands daily and the impact they are having is such an inspiration. I want to be like them when I grow up 🙂 Visit Marc & Angel for all your self-help matters and be sure to bring home with you a lifted spirit.

I will now go on to answer the 10 questions required for nominees:

1. What inspires you most to write?

Everything. My joys, my sorrows, my victories, my failures, life’s pleasures and backlashes. Above all, my walk with God. His mercies, his kindness, his favors, his goodness, his grace, and his righteousness. I’m inspired by how I am experiencing this beautiful life God has given me to live for as long as He’s given me to live it.


2. What it your favorite thing to do in the entire world?

LOL. My favorite thing to do in the entire world is to travel & to write. I believe very strongly that the one cannot go without the other. And even though I have managed, all these years, to survive with the other i.e. with writing only, I am certain beyond all reasonable doubt that it is only a matter of time before the ‘one’ starts to unfold. After writing, my second most happiest thing to do in the world, is traveling. Like I said earlier. I am a dreamer. And I do believe dreams come through.

3. If you could travel anywhere in our beautiful world, where would it be?

That is a tough question to answer. I am torn between Rome and the city of love. Torn between pasta and fine living. Torn between the coliseums and the Tower Eiffel. If I have to choose, I guess it would be Rome.

4. What is your favorite book?

I’ve read many books in my lifetime but my favorite still remains “A Voice in the Wind” by Francine Rivers. I’m yet to read a book or any story for that matter that has moved my heart and soul like this book did. And it was there I first met Rome in person.  I’ve been hooked ever since with curiosity and deep interest. The story is a trilogy – A Voice in the Wind, An Echo in the Darkness & As Sure as the Dawn. Set in Rome, Ephesus, and ancient Germanic settlement.

5. What are you most proud of?

So far so good. This blog is my most prestigious achievement. It is one thing to say you’re a writer and it is another thing entirely to actually write. Secondly, it is one thing to say you are something and it is another thing to be that thing to the world, and then actually give off that essence and touch lives with it. This blog has given me all of that meaning in one.

6. How has your blog helped you most?

My blog has helped me to overcome my fears; my fear of not being sure if I’m good enough. My fear of ‘do I make sense’, am I making sense’, will I be heard, will I communicate, will I touch someone, and if I did, will they be better for it? I never found answers to these questions until I started this blog and that was when I truly embraced life as a writer.

7. What is your favorite childhood memory?

My favorite childhood memory was when I wrote and completed a fully illustrated book of short-stories inspired by Enid Blyton’s mini series. It was the first book I ever authored though never published. Hahaha. I took the book to boarding house one term and I would later regret it. It was the last I would see of it. It would have been such a treasured childhood souvenir had I left it in my mum’s care. I was only 8 when I wrote that book.

8. What is your biggest passion?

My biggest passion is writing. It is how I relate with myself and the world. And sometimes, it is how I talk with God.

9. Your favorite food?

My favorite food is spaghetti and all kinds of noodle food. There’s no doubt about that.

10. What is your favorite quote?

Okay this is a tough one. I have over a thousand in archive. It is hard to say. I have several that speak straight to my heart. I will like to share one on here

“Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.” ― G.K. Chesterton

 

In closing, I will like to thank Mariam Thompson at thecandidspot.wordpress.com and Kate&James at monkeypalmtree.com who both nominated Stella who nominated me. Thanks you ladies. You are all awesome sisters of my blogging worlds!!

 

And gracias to all my awesome readers. You are  co-creators of my musings. 🙂 🙂 xoxo

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What truly matters in the end?

Everything…
Everything matters
Each word spoken and everything done matters
Everything left unsaid and everything left undone
Every transient thought
Every single day
All possible encounters fostered
Every single smile
The compliments paid
Every embrace felt
Every gratitude shared
Every gift given, even the tiniest handshake
Every promise made,
Every flimsy excuse
Every dream dreamed
Even the days that dragged on
And the nights that never seemed to end
The things you meant to do but never came around doing
And the one you did but never meant to
The things we should have done
The things we should have said
And the things we plan to do
The kindness we should have shown
The visit we should have made
Unwarranted procrastinations, and unredeemable opportunities, lost forever
The friend we could have been but failed to become
Family we could have had but were too proud to accept
Places we could have gone but too afraid to dream
The life we could have had but too short-sighted to believe
All of it matters in the end
Because everything is everything
The way we do one thing, is the way we do everything

Does it really matter

I’m beginning to wonder about the things I expect
And all the many things I feel I deserve
How I regard them with high esteem
And then debase myself for their absence or delay
Then I read about great minds like Harriet Tubman, U.S. abolitionist
And I begin to wonder if all life is about are flimsy expectations
I ask myself if there is perhaps something different that I could do
To tilt my attention a little bit away from my selfish ambition
That maybe somehow I can allow my thoughts to be consumed by a worthy ideal
And if that happens, maybe my life will be different
Maybe the things I expect do not matter after all
Perhaps all this time I have only succeeded in losing myself in a lie
So I’m thinking about Harriet Tubman, about her bravery and her conquest
I’m thinking about the menacing risk she took and her unyielding faith
I’m thinking about the people she lead to safety following that underground railroad
And following direct messages from God,
I’m thinking about this brave heroine and I cannot help but wonder
If the superficial things that troubled me triggered her
I think that I know better than anyone what the answer is
So I’m thinking, does any of it really matter?

Bless The Past & Say Hello to Your Future

You have to make peace with your past in order to keep your present and future from becoming hopeless battles. – Mark & Angel


I spent some quality time with my mum today. Talking about the challenges I’ve had in the work environment and sharing the victimizing experiences I’d had with former work colleagues over the years. I found myself laughing as I recounted the bizarre stories, and quietly but briefly, relived a few of the demeaning and humiliating moments.

I felt sweet gratitude wash over me as I shared these incidences because somehow it was hard to believe that I actually did survive them. I felt immensely thankful that they would now forever remain in my past.

I also felt hopeful about the future, knowing that the lessons I’ve learnt can only bring me good and gracious rewards. Just hearing myself laugh as I related these stories of meanness gave me a sense of contentment and tranquility that meant I was at peace with that part of my past.

Another thing that was so comforting during the conversation with my mum was hearing her share about her own sordid experiences in the work place. Many years ago as a young military corporal, and practicing Dental nurse, she had the devil for a boss.

She told me about the unrelenting sexual harassment and unwarranted punishments she had to endure and eventually, foregoing a promising career was the only way to end the continuing coercion.

Years later, she would later to be told by friends and former colleagues, about how the said officer was paid back in his own coin and severely too by time and chance. At the time, she had regained back her profession, and had had many more promising opportunities, some of which she voluntarily relinquished because she wanted to spend more time with us her children.

Today I’m reminded again, that life itself has got its own memory bank where it stores our dos and don’ts and then processes our wages alike. In due time it will give to each of us a corresponding feedback. Everyone in his own coin.

In this regard, I am reminded to consider my present moments as blessings, no matter how they turns out, because I know one day they would be my past. I am reminded also to bless the hardest and toughest of memories and to never hold on to pain, rather release them completely.

My mum also shared about another very disturbing encounter of victimization which she suffered from the hands of two female instructors at the Army Training School in Ojo cantonment, Lagos; in the 1970s. I wasn’t born at the time.

They were both her junior in age but she never spoke back in defense nor did she act rudely in any way. She was the only girl in her class, and for some reason, these instructors decided that they would make her life a living hell. In an attempt to explain how cruel they were, mum said that the only thing that kept her going was because she was bent on becoming a dental nurse by all means. Otherwise under normal circumstances, she would have quit.

Unbeknownst to them my mum’s uncle was a LT. Colonel at the time and as a result she had the acquaintance of several officers who knew her to be his niece. Still she never for once, did she fight back. Least of all make a boast or threaten to use her connections against these female instructors.

They would finally come to this knowledge during an unfortunate encounter with a third party and senior officer who witnessed the ill treatment they rendered to my mum. It was only then that the mistreatment stopped.

Several years down the line, their paths would cross again; they met at the military hospital in Yaba. Mum was visiting an old military acquaintance who worked there as a senior nurse. The story that ensues is one of soberness and regret with tons of apologies to my mum.

That nothing truly goes unnoticed will be my solemn conclusion from these stories. Life sucks it all in into its master memory board and each one of us must tread carefully as each step is a written code in that drive.

How about me and you? We too have also played our sordid roles one way or the other; somehow we have hurt others, mistreated another and betrayed some. Though the memories remain in the past, even so that past too should be blessed and released.

Today as you reminisce upon your own toughest and most engraving encounters, remember to bless them and release them, so that you can embrace the future. Life is too short to hold on to pain and too brief to hold back from liberation.


 

Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clearer vision – Mark & Angel

Bless the past

Recommitting to My Intentions

“Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.”
― G.K. Chesterton


I recently began a new venture that takes up all my morning. It began this month in August and my schedule had to undergo some minor adjustment. As a result I have been more occupied than I’d been in the past couple of months since June to be precise. I have also undergone a small inhibition that hasn’t enabled me to post on my blog as often as I would have loved to and in addition to that, my August morning engagements have eaten up a large chunk of my writing hours. I tend to be swamped with extra commitments, plus the other things I have to do daily, as a result I find that I have little time to write.

In the midst of all these, I would come to a new awareness. I realize how my writing invigorates me. I am amused by how much energy I draw from writing my inspirational pieces and having gone days without writing, I am now patched and dry and drained. I feel like I haven’t had my dose of high for a long, long time and that is true! I also realize that just maybe, my readers may feel the same way too; feeling patched and dry and missing their dose of inspiration.

So today I’m recommitting to my intentions, to being a muse of inspiration to thousands and thousands and hopefully millions of girls, and women across the world, and to the men who love them. I hope to make this recommitment daily, not only for them but more so for myself. I find that in creating hope, insight and revelation for others, I create the same in myself. Therefore in my giving is my receiving. In my sacrifice, is my reward. In my work, is my compensation. In my labor is immense pleasure.

This discovery and rediscovery will be the turning point of my success; it is the stirring of my essence, the revivification of my writer’s block and the creation of my brainwaves. Consistence holds the key to abundance and wealth. Persistence is the test of time as well as the test of our faith in what we believe. And together, persistence and consistence will implode into milky ways and fireworks.

In this light, I will like to encourage you stay the course, run the mile, hold your image. And if you are yet to discover what your mojo is muchless love it, then ask yourself these questions – What is that thing that I miss so much it makes my heart ache? What do I love so much it makes my pulse race with happy satisfaction? What infuses me with so much energy I feel I can move mountains?

I hope you find what you love. I hope that you love it enough to recommit to it everyday of every month of every year. Selah.


“Don’t be afraid to be who you are because you are the only person who knows you best.” ― Saredo Ali

Recommit

7 Reasons Why Work Is A Girl’s Most Important Companion Not The Man

People think at the end of the day that a man is the only answer [to fulfillment]. Actually a job is better for me. ― Princess Diana


I have a bone of contention. It is about young promising intelligent girls being eager for marriage before they even get a hang of what they are about. I think it is a big, big problem, and the consequences of this putting-the-cart-before-the-horse disease are enormous as they are poisonous and deadly.

I hear about many young women, who were once lovely innocent brides become devious wives because of this short-sightedness and miscalculation of purpose. I see others who have found themselves in marriages that became mirages overnight. I’ve seen young independent city-girls become frail, lost and confused wives.

Although a good number of marriages today have their roots solid in mutual understanding and reciprocal affirmations, there are a silent majority, in which the woman is on the receiving end of this misfortune. Where she is either deprived of work entirely, or is deprived of work that aligns with her purpose.

Below are 7 solid reasons why I believe that the first most important discovery the twenty-first century girl will ever make in her life is work and not a man.

1.    First and foremost never in human history has idleness ever being a good omen: I’ve heard of cases where a father protests the marriage of his young daughter soon after university because he feels she should enjoy her liberty a little longer in form of work or traveling before resigning herself completely to the duties of marriage. I think there is some sense in that. I know also that there are a few exceptions to the rule, but then again, this post isn’t for the exception. This post is for the girl who believes that when it comes to marriage, one can simply wing it, and that life goes on as normal, fair weather and all. And somehow expects that the man will give her what she wants. Well, that isn’t entirely true. If you are going to be happy in marriage, you will first have to be happy with work. Work gives you a sense of responsibility, improves your thinking faculties and above all keeps you busy. You are often likely to be found by your ideal man when you are busy than when you are idle. When you’re busy you have the liberty to choose and be certain of your choice because you’re not pressured. When you’re idle, you’re constantly pressured by wants and needs and your thoughts are usually one of escape other than a wise, well thought-out decision for the next level.

2.    Work that you love doing is one door away from work you were created to do: We were each created for a purpose and the earlier you discover what yours is the better and brighter your future — whether single or married. It is only when you realize that you are here for a reason that you begin to appreciate your life better. When you discover something you love, you soon begin to discover the greater potential that lies within your work and within yourself. You begin to see possibilities and life is a lot more exciting as you begin pursuing these possibilities. When you become appreciative of the life you have, you will seldom make silly mistakes like condescending to a relationship that doesn’t compliment you. The most exciting and successful relationships are usually founded on platforms of similarities where both partners enormously compliment each other mainly because they serve in the same field. Life is usually easier and sweeter when you discover a spouse in the line of duty so to speak. Allow yourself the liberty of discovering yourself first before you allow another human being into the equation. If you don not have a clue of what you are about why expect that your significant other would?

3.    When you begin to solve problems through your work, you increase your level of awareness, your worth and your relevance: Imagine that you begin to do very serious work as a youth, like running an NGO for instance. Such selfless work has tremendous spiral effect on your self-development as a person. I know a former schoolmate of mine who over 14 years ago, in her early 20s, began a health based NGO after her youth service. Today that NGO is recognized by respectable bodies such as the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, and has been a succor to several communities in Northern Nigeria. She is also happily married with kids and she’s still a part and parcel of the beautiful work she founded. You can have it both ways and be happy. Well, some people will say my friend is the exception; well in this case you can aim to be that exception, you can have it both ways; you can begin a booming career, get married and continue your booming career. Yes, it is possible. I really do not see the sense in throwing away passion, and the pursuit of purpose in the name of marriage. It has caused more hearts to break than it has mended or molded any. Our life essence flows from our ability to become channels of this essence and your work, your mission in life, is one of such channels. Wake up and live! The only reason why anyone would continue to nurture a dream even after they are married is because they believe that their lives is worth much more and that there is so much more to life than a mere status.

The thing women have yet to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it. Roseanne Barr

4.    When your life is stirred by purpose, you make better choices: From the moment you begin to appreciate life as a journey of purpose and a meaningful transition you will begin to make intelligent and wise decisions. You begin to think in terms of service, and on a longterm basis than on self-gratifying short-term pleasures. You will become wiser than your peers. Your heart is set on the future and the thought of marriage and starting a family begins to flow from a place of maturity other than a place of childlike fantasy. Your years of work and experience during or after school has helped to exercise your mental muscles and toughen your emotions so you do not have a fragile grip on reality.

5.    The contentment that comes from service that gives deep fulfillment also gives you self-confidence and self-assurance: Nothing entraps a girl more than being desperate to marry. Nine out of ten she ends up with the wrong guy. Anxiety is not the place to make any kind of decision, worse still marriage decisions. You need to be exceptionally or decidedly self-assured when you about to marry and begin a new life with your partner. Otherwise you will end up with a half-baked future and a routinely sad life. On the other hand, if you would rather not be desperate or insecure at the point when you make that life-time decision of choosing a partner, you must first find deep fulfillment in yourself. One way of achieving that is by finding contentment in your life through work and service that gives you deep fulfillment.

6.     Extremely positive and evolving work exposes you to learning and growth: The process of immersing one’s self in work is a transformational procession in its own. Work exposes you to new ideas, new possibilities and new challenges. These in turn cause you to explore your mind more by thinking a lot more and a lot deeper. You begin to discover possibilities about your capabilities that you never knew existed and this improves your self-esteem. A girl who is proud of herself is a girl who doesn’t need anybody’s approval to feel good about herself. And one way to begin to appreciate your amazing self is by standing up to solve more problems and being more relevant in your field of expertise. A simply vocation as being a school teacher who loves and understands children and is well versed in the subject she teaches her pupils can expose the young teacher to greater levels of growth within a year than she could ever have imagined. The key is to desire work that you love and to evolve with your work because work that is meaningful is never static, it is always in motion. The lessons you learn along the way, when you barely have responsibilities as choking as child rearing, will come handy when you finally decide to raise a family.

7.    Once you become self-assured and self-assertive of your purpose and invaluable potentials, you will inevitably attract suitors like yourself: There is a difference between being self-assured and self-assertiveness. The first is to be confident in your abilities or character, the latter is the confident and forceful expression of oneself, views and desires. When you become these two combined, you create around yourself a force field that attracts to you, your ideal man, who is equally confident in his skin and fearless about his confidence. It takes an insecure and fearful human being to impose upon another human being and constantly bully their right to live bravely. However, a person who is self-assured and self-assertive in his or her own skin will have no reason to want to control or put out the light of the other individual. That is the kind of man you deserve and to have such a man, you must become such a person. Like attract like.

There are probably a number of girls who do not consider work a serious piece of the puzzle that makes up our lives, you don’t have to agree with their school of thought. They probably think that purpose is secondary to finding the right suitor or getting settled, you don’t have to be one of them. You can be different. You can choose to see reason with the reasons listed above and become to take your life as a single girl a lot more serious. You can love work and do work you love because now you know it is only one door away from the life you were created to live.

Why is it men are permitted to be obsessed about their work, but women are only permitted to be obsessed about men? Barbara Streisand

barbra-streisand

RULES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN

“Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.”
― Dalai Lama XIV


Maybe I’m a rebel at heart. Maybe we all should be rebels at some point in our lives. Maybe that is the way it should be if we must hone our unique abilities. You should be ready to break the rules when it gets to your turn. This isn’t suggesting you become a mindless rebel, like going without clothes because it is your unique ability to wade off the scorching sun or freezing weather! That would be insanity wouldn’t it? Even though following your heart sometimes can be likened to insanity, but of course you do know what I mean right?

Once, I use to think that people who did great things were special people. That they had, literally, a silver spoon in their mouths when they where born. No kidding. I used to be that clueless. I would stare at these images in glossy magazines and would spend tons of hours in front of the TV because I had to have my dose of mesmerization and there was never enough to go round. My eyelids would hang wide open in awe,  gaping with my mouth dripping, my internal senses stirred and roused, desiring to be like these superstars. These awfully lucky superstars.

Of course now, I know better. Now I know that people only become special because of handwork. Persistent handwork and mind drilling intentions. Now I know that I too can be special no matter the circumstance and that I can be a superstar if only I do the work, and then of course break some rules.

It’s a lot clearer now what I mean by breaking rules, isn’t it? It has to do with being great, being special and being a superstar. You probably have heard this before, that there is no such thing as luck only hard work. And that there is no such thing as talent, only persistence. Meaning if you work hard at it long enough, developing your skills and all you’ll become talented and you’ll be successful and then people will say, “oh look how lucky she is…”

Well, now you know the secret, that the only reason why you are still a spectator, observing all the wonders happen to the minority other than yourself is well, one of several things. You need to start breaking rules. You need to leave your confort zone and try the unusual, which is relative of course, I mean how do you try the unusual when you don’t even know whats usual for you. Big question.

Rules are good, don’t get me wrong. Rules are good because they show to you your limits, and what better growth is there than the one that stretches you beyond your limits. Rules show to you what others have done to get their own results, and in a way gives you clues of what you can do that no one has ever attempted. Rules show to you a road map of the routes available that you can take to reach your destination, and if you studied them long enough, you will begin to see new routes that no one ever knew existed.

It is the whole essence of life, to create and co-create. The process is on going and that is what makes life exciting — breaking the rules. If you are still feeling uneasy about this, then perhaps you are thinking about principles and not rules. Rules are man-made, and anything that is made by man is subject to errors, and alteration by another human. While principles operate by laws and laws exist by nature so whatever you do, no matter how ground breaking your intentions are, you can never cheat the laws of the universe. They are constant, they are real and they are alive.

So congratulations! Now you are free to break any rules that have kept you in the dark, held you back from shining like the star you were born to be. Only follow your heart and your big dream, you may rip a muscle or two in the process, but it would be worth it. Also find someone who can help guide you, someone who has gone ahead of you and believes in you, that is so important. As you go in pursuit of your goals, its always great to have a guide, like a coach or a mentor who is willing to support you and helps you navigate the thorn bushes of life. Again, congratulations!


“Following all the rules leaves a completed checklist. Following your heart achieves a completed you.”― Ray Davis


Eleanor Roosevelt 1884-1962

10 tough decisions you will have to make in pursuit of happiness

In matters of style, swim with the current;
in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson


1.    Follow your heart to your dreams:

Have a set of written goals. The one who seeks to be anything in life will first dream and then after dreaming will have a plan to attain that dream otherwise, as the saying goes, she would have planned to fail. Deep within you is a familiar rhythm, your in born music, the one you have been humming from the word go. You know what makes you happy. There is a place for everyone on the grande stage of life and every time you look at the stars, you see a glimpse of  who you want to be and that image gets clearer as you take consistent steps towards your goals.

When you follow your heart ,you find your voice…and opportunity, love and a world of difference will be there to greet you!

Follow your dreams to reach your goals, and then follow your goals to reach your dreams. Hold your image. Life’s storms will always rise to rock your boat, and when life happens, hold fast to dreams. You will make many turns that turn out to be dead ends, you will start-over plenty of times, you will try many ideas that would last only a few moments of success like fireworks, you will fail many times. It sounds scary but it is true. It is the beauty of dreams and that is the price you pay for staying committed to them.You’ll face lots of mountains to climb, and you’ll have the strength and belief to do it.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.~Les Brown.

2.    Walking away from anything that no longer defines you

Life is in phases and some of the best decisions you will ever make in life is knowing when a phase is closing and then trusting your intuition to lead you into the next phase of your life. These change in seasons are like the changing tracks of a rail road, they are not in the least easy transitions to make. Once you fail to turn your wheels ever so slightly to take that new course, you will continue on a course that has no plan, and no future for you but routine which leads to staleness, unproductively and inevitably extinction. The only constant thing in life is change and to find true happiness you must keep changing, keep trusting your gut to walk away from overdue liabilities, obligations and interactions that no longer resonate with you. Sometimes life calls for you to adapt, grow new skills and adaptable traits. As you keep making these changes, you will learn the difference, to know when to adapt and when to walk away. One way to know, is to listen to your inner yearnings and longings, they never lie. Its like hunger to food, when you feel those pangs you know you have to eat. Ignoring your hunger will lead to ulcers.

You can find your way in life by start listening to the wisdom of your body, and your intuition when feelings of joy appear it’s a good thing to trust that you are on the right way

And once you succeed in making that change, you develop adaptable traits to adjust into a new territory of influence. You will be misunderstood and sometimes be seen as confused or ridiculous. In the last couple of years, I’ve changed jobs quite frequently, and even though many have seen this trait as unethical, I have somehow been able to make sense of all the transitions that occur in my career. As unethical as those changes seemed, each phase brought with it new experiences that have enriched my growth. Making these choices come at different stages for all of us, for one person it could mean saying goodbye to a job, while for another it could be changing location or moving house, it could be the close of one business and the start of another. Whatever it is, you must trust your instincts to make the right move once it is time. Also remember, if you aren’t on a journey, hardly will any of these make any difference to you. You have to be going somewhere before the road signs can make any sense to you.

3.    Staying true to relationships that grow you

Even the finest dreams and the biggest ideas, like great ships, can be sunk because of the slightest shift in focus. You must recognize for yourself people who continue to point you in the direction of your dreams and then nurture those relationships. These are the people who keep telling you how good you are at something even when you don’t see the good yourself. They are the ones who always remind you of promises you have made to achieving certain goals and they never condemn you when you fail. These people are usually the minority, they are hardly among the general crowd seeking entertainment. They’re only concerned to see you begin to live up to their expectations of you which is — you can do better than you are doing now! They are like your sounding boards, they help you stay in line, and caution you when you are drifting away from your own blueprints. They sense when you’re off track and then help you get back on course. They keep you accountable. They believe in you, in your talents and in your dreams. There’s no point crowding your life with a bunch of people who literally have no use in your growth. Stick with the ones who do and nurture these friendships. Remember to return the favor when opportunity presents itself. Be a trusted friend and encourager.

4.    Choosing your circles wisely

If you want to fly like an eagle, you’ll know then that your place isn’t with the chickens. And to desire to fly like an eagle, will mean you are an eaglet needing the skill an assistance of a full grown eagle. In choosing your circles, you will be deliberating creating for yourself an environment that will help you achieve your goals. There will be a lot of friction along this path, because your priorities begin to change and when your priorities change, the company you keep changes automatically. The places you go to begin to matter and your entire outlook begins to conform to your new rules of engagement. With your new ‘highly experienced’ associations you are not afraid to stretch beyond your comfort zone. Be prepared for backlashes at this junction, because a few people would begin to say the dreadful ‘you-have-changed’ and not too many people are comfortable with being told they have changed. It is a statement of betrayal that puts you in the position of the betrayer. However, in life, when in pursuit of happiness – the fulfillment of our dreams – many things would shift and if we don’t shift with the seasons, we put ourselves at the risk of simply existing.

Everything feeds you; food, music, environments, people. Let the best surround you

5.    Consciously shutting out negativity and toxic relationships:

Our minds have a default negative thinking pattern. It is usually easier for the human mind to think negative thoughts than positive thoughts. It is easier to feel fear than bravery, to anticipate the worse than to have faith. We sight the flaws very quickly than the pluses. However true happiness only comes to those who anticipate it not those who talk about it. You have to consciously expect to be happy to be happy, in that case happiness becomes a choice not a feeling. You have to make conscious efforts to shut out the nagging thoughts of doubt and crippling fear that show up anytime you  think about your goals. It is like a daily routine of workout, you keep at it daily, reminding yourself of  what you hope to achieve and repeatedly exchanging one negative thought for a positive one. If a thought says, “what makes you think you will succeed?”, you say “what’s stopping me from trying?” In the other hand, you have dream killers, and they come in different forms, sometimes they are simply negative people telling you your dreams are absurd, other times they could be a relationship that has gone from casual misunderstanding to poisonous. When someone keeps bringing up the past in peaceful times, that person does not align with your center, and continuous references to the past draw you back, you need to stay focused. It could be letting go of someone who continues to hurt you, a relationship you have to genuinely admit is over and can only do you more harm than good. Sometimes because we are deeply in love with someone, we are unable to see objectively but if we are in love with our dreams just as much, we can find the strength to let go of an abusive relationship and then take hold of our dreams. This can be a wrenching and extremely painful process but one you will be thankful for in the end.

6.    Let bygones be bygones:

Regret is the most wasted human emotion.  It removes energy, leads you down the wrong path.

Hold no one to ransom. Have no place for hate in your hate, hate is a poison that kills you slowly and sucks you dry of joy and peace. Forgive the offender. Blame no one for your misfortunes. Forgive the past, and believe that people can be better than they are and that your circumstances can change if you remain consistent and don’t look back. Make amends and build bridges, embrace new opportunities to experience the best out of every circumstance and and every individual. Look straight ahead and careless about people or stuff whose association you may lose along the way, consider them to be weights, as you must travel light on this journey if you must reach your destination.

7.    Love what you’ve got while seeking what you love

Be thankful for today, embrace the gift that is today and have hope for tomorrow. Cherish the gift of time you have now, and the chances and circumstances that come your way to bring you closer to your dreams. Nurture your youth and your health while you have the chance, spend time with your loved ones, and continue to remain loyal and committed to your dreams. And when tomorrow comes, you will be more than ready to harvest its fully bloomed fruits and goodness.

8.    Take responsibility for your actions:

Nobody but you is responsible for your life. When you’re in the wrong, apologize with deep sincerity and whether or not the other person is appeased, choose to forgive yourself and move on. When you’ve made a mistake, accept that you made a wrong call and learn from your misfortunes. Be kind to people you meet along the way even though you may be having the worse of the days. Always speak a kind word or say nothing at all. If words don’t come easily for you, then try smiling, a smile speaks many languages and never goes wrong.  Avoid giving excuses, only say sorry or thank you. Avoid explanations, accept the rebuke with graciousness. Work hard, stay focused and be consistent. Be a giver, give of yourself and expect less in return; the law of giving says, the more you give of yourself without expecting anything in return, the more will come back to you from the most unexpected sources. Take no prisoners. Take your own risks, trust your instincts, don’t wait to be spoon fed with the ideas of others. Follow your path, tell your unique story with each day that unfolds and trust that your own experiences will lead you to your grande finale.

9.    Be patient:

Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not.  It just takes some time to connect all the dots. – Marc & Angel.

Patience is a great virtue that comes with a very great price. It means that sometimes you will chose to walk the distance and not hitch a ride because you know that walking will toughen your muscles. Other times it will mean you will go the full length, encountering bumps, potholes and ditches, bushes and dry patches instead of using the shortcuts because you know the end will justify the means. Also patience means, putting in the work, because if you don’t put it in, you are getting nothing out. You will do well to have patience, because patience always carries within itself great rewards that only reveal themselves in the end.

Nature  does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
– Lao Tzu

10.    Whatever happens, choose happiness

In your pursuit of happiness, you will suffer many trials, you will have bad days, and bad weather. You will encounter dead ends, and negative people. You will fail many times, you will make silly and embarrassing mistakes. You will let people down, your priorities will change, you will change as well. You will keep changing, it is the one thing that remains constant, every other thing shifts to conform to your transitions and as you move along, some people will go, others will stay, many will disappear, and a few new ones will show up. Sometimes you will not understand what you are feeling or what you are doing nor where you are going, whatever happens, remember to choose happiness. Whether you’re down, or your just living, at every moment and at every junction, choose happiness. Make no exchange for less, trade it for nothing. Stay thankful, stay grateful, stay hopeful and ultimately, stay happy.

 

Choose happiness

3 important questions that sum up your entire existence

Did I love? Did I live? Did I matter? – Brendon Burchard

Did I love?

True love that is genuine and whole, is love that is first, love of self before it can be shared with another. Love that is truly pure, giving, and selfless must first love the being that embodies it. If you don’t love yourself, you cannot truly love another. In the bible, it says, Love your neighbor as your self. You can only know how to love another when you have immersed yourself in self-love. Did I love myself for myself? Did I love myself for who I am and what I am? Did I love my self with all its imperfections and inconsistencies? Did I love myself and believe in what I could become? Did I love?

Let’s continue doing good things for ourselves and each other, and dance to the wonderful tune of life

The answers you find, will tell you what to expect when you take the question to the next level. Did I love the people I came across during my life’s walk? Did I encourage or demoralize? Did I embrace or push away? Did I give or did I selfishly drain? Did I love or did I judge? Did I love or did I hurt? It goes to say, if you loved and accepted yourself, you will love and accept others. However, if you are in conflict with yourself most of the time, you will inevitably be in conflict with others. If you are a loving, centered, happy person, you will only give to others what you have not what you don’t have.

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate – Oprah Winfrey

When answering this very personal, and intimate question, remember to shine the flashlight on yourself first. Have you connected with your inner self enough to love who you are for yourself? Be kind with yourself, rather than being brash and mean, be gracious. There is no condemnation, discover your truth and make amends, after all it isn’t the end of your life yet. There is plenty of time to make amends. Begin now.

 

Did I live?

Create your own life story and make it a real epic adventure

I am an advocate for living life to the fullest. My friends know me well for taking risks and preaching the gospel of ‘risk taking’. Some say I am a free spirit, no actually the statement in question actually went thus “You are too much of a free spirit.” I still laugh at the memory of that conversation because I know a large part of it is true.

I just cannot stand for a moment anything that looks like or threatens to take away my freedom. Why should I be a caged bird when I can have the sky? Why should I be content with being someone’s pet — a gold fish in a fishbowl — when I can be my own boss in the deep blue sea? It is a risk I am willing to take, to be thrown into the deep blue and discover new territories of dominion. It’s been scientifically proven that a gold fish will grow more than twice its size when it is made to live in a swimming pool. Imagine what it could become if it were thrown into the ocean. I am all for taking risks and stretching beyond our comfort zones.

Dream no small dreams, for they have no power to move the hearts of men.
~Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Dream big and live life outside the glamorous, comfort of being a show piece in a fish bowl. Take your risks, write your our stories and be brave to tell them. And when you do, watch how it moves the hearts of men. Did I live? Did I give my best? Did I try all I could? Did I seize my opportunities? Did I play my cards or did I shy away in denial? Did I live or did I settle for less? Did I live or did I succumb to fear? Did I live or did I remain a coward? Did I live or did I fade into mediocrity? Did I live or did I give up my rights to be heard?

Life was meant to be lived and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn their back on life. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Again be kind to yourself, and be true as being true can get. Find what gives you the most fulfillment, pursue it because you love it, and in doing so you will achieve it. And whatever that means to you, make it your mantra to seek out what you love, and follow it till the end. Dare to go on your own adventure of self-discovery.

It could be taking photographs, and freezing moments of special memories for people and their loved ones, that may be the very thing that gives you zing. Or teaching in a local school and providing free education for poor children in a distant village. If that is what makes your heart beat faster, by all means be that person. Live!

To die is poignantly bitter, but the idea of having to die without having lived is unbearable. – Erich Fromm

Did I matter?

Life is service to humanity. Therefore finding the balance between self-gratification and that service is the place where your life begins to matter. Did I matter or did I simply sail by? Did I matter or did I fade into the background? Did I matter or was I only a spot on the huge canvass of life?

If you can not feed a million people, then feed just one. – Mother Teresa

There is wisdom in beginning right where you are while you keep your eyes on your big picture. Start with a loved one, a friend needing assistance, begin to spread your magic with your little circle of influence and witness the effect of your small touch spread into large waves of transformation. You can enlarge your circle of influence with just one meaningful action of purpose like the drop of a single stone in still water, the rippling effect will always spread beyond your physical effort.

However, if you get carried away chasing your dreams and riding your white horse to utopia, busying yourself with checking off your adventure list, harvesting and gathering, filling your truck with stuff and more stuff, and proudly waving the flag of having worked hard to deserve all your plunder; you adorn yourself with medals and with pride gaze upon your trophies and rewards, remember this,

Remember happiness is a way of travel, not a destination. – Roy Goodman

Remember that true happiness is not in what we acquire but in what we relinquish for the happiness of others. It lies in the reason why you have been beautifully endowed with so many talents, and ideas and genius. It is so you can fill empty cups, seal up leaking roofs, provide lamps for those in the dark, some gratification for people who follow you, a bit of hope to those who look up to you, and providing fishing nets to as many as you can teach to fish.

It is so that you can matter. Isn’t that the reason why we work so hard, so that our lives can have some sort of meaning, so that we can feel some essence bubble up our souls and flow through us to as many as possible, quenching their thirsts and satisfying their patched lips? Isn’t that why we spend so much time putting in the work and staying up at night?

We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. – Mother Teresa

In the long run, never hold back, never pull back, always be doing and always be giving, never feel you are not doing enough, always try to do your best. Remember the law of giving; give and expect nothing in return, give your best, give your all and your reward will come from places you least expect.

Did I love? Did I live? Did I matter? – Brendon Burchard

Angel's friend

You are good enough just the way you are

Forget what you’ve lost and focus on what you’ve learned – Marc & Angel


 

You have recently been fired and your morale is hanging on a loose thread, struggling for dear life. You do not know how to respond to those recurring questions over the phone, “Oh aren’t you at work today?” “Are you on leave?” You used to saunter around town with your fine silk suits now you sneak around with a hood and sunglasses.

You have taken the shreds of a single event and woven them nicely into defeat, failure, no-good, final blow, down and out. You have taken the letter of termination and made it into your label, a sticker that boldly reads — this is the best I could ever be. This is all that there is about this diva. The story ends here.

You allow a single detour, determine the stretch of your zeal to continue along the path that leads to true fulfillment. You allow little bumps along the way define the rhythm of your life and you sit slumped over in defeat and shame and regrets of all kinds. Fading away beneath the shadows of what could have been.

How about what you can become? How about what awaits you on the other side of the valley? How about what could be if you reached the summit? How about what you have put in, the time, the energy, the sweat, was it all for a silly self-imposed sticker?

Pain can be a nightmare, and with pain you have two choices. You can choose to wake up learn the lessons pain teaches you about what is missing, what went wrong, and what is needed for you to move on, or you can choose to numb your pain and hide from your reality.

I hope  you choose to learn from your pain, and not run from it. I hope you learn to nurse your wounds, and not lick them in self-pity. I hope you find the courage to look yourself in the mirror and say to yourself, in spite of your circumstances, “I am good enough…”

And indeed you are. You are good enough just the way you are because you can be better from the very spot you find yourself, however downcast you may feel, if only you will find the courage to move on. A drink or two is needed when you feel drained and exhausted from trying, but to sit back and watch life pass you by is to wilt away for lack of enthusiasm and zeal.

If you will only look within, you will find just what you need to take the next step and move on, and the next step is all you need to begin your walk in this new direction. If you will continue to follow your dreams, you will most certainly be pleasantly surprised in the end.


 

Experience is what you get when your life don’t go as planned,
but with a positive attitude you will always be pleasantly surprised – Marc & Angel

I love my life