Month: June 2014

DECIDE TO SHOW UP

“There are women who make things better… simply by showing up. There are women who make things happen. There are women who make their way. There are women who make a difference. And women who make us smile. There are women of wit and wisdom who — through strength and courage — make it through. There are women who change the world everyday… Women like you.” ― Ashley Rice

 

There are days when I’m not my best self. Say I’m out with friends or family, I’m supposed to be having fun but I’m mostly preoccupied with a nudging feeling whispering in my head, “Today would have been better assuming that conversation hadn’t ended sour.” “Oh this moment would have been more exciting assuming that deal had gone through.” “Oh, my weekend could have been better assuming that transaction hadn’t truncated.”

And it goes on and on and on. I give one excuse after another why I can’t be my best self. Why the today is going to end gloomy even when it begun well. I tell myself every lie possible to keep my mind locked in that sad, depressed state. Then no matter what happens, the day can only get as much energy as I pump into it, whether it is in what ifs, or regrets, it would be ultimately cheerless.

 

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude, toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.”

― Brian Tracy

 

Then there are other days when I’ve had the lamest of conversations and experienced the lamest of encounters and still face the remaining part of the day with all the gusto I can muster and be my best self. I quickly remind myself that the best parts of my journey are those down turns and groggy bends; they are those times when I muster my deepest strengths and bring on my mojo to influence whatever decisions I would be making when I get myself back. I am reminded to bring my charm every time and everyday. I learn to laugh at myself with every bluff I make and I’m quick to teach this lesson to those around me. That they too can learn to embrace themselves when they fail and pick themselves up when they fall. The moment I can bring myself into that space, and tell myself it was time I tried another trick in the book, I am quickly revived as I begin to create new paths toward achieving my desired outcomes. I am reminded that indeed the best parts of my journey are not the destination but the journey itself.

 

“The journey is what brings us happiness not the destination.”

― Dan Millman

 

Learning to show up each day isn’t exactly the easiest thing to do, our minds are mostly set in dysfunctional patterns, however once you can make it a habit to show up strong and be your best self each day, you would have found the easiest path to being happy. You may be wondering, how does a girl begin to decide to show up everyday of her life? (Her sometimes horrendously busy and dramatic life!!) I’ll share a few clues:

 

“I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances, Be more active, Show up more often.”

― Brian Tracy

 

Always begin your day on a positive note. I learned recently that there is no such thing as waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Right side, left side or middle, fall off a double-decker if you like, you still get to make a choice about how you want your day to go. You set the motion for the day, you bring the energy to every activity, you bring the light to each moment. It is up to you to decide, it is up to you to show up; so what’s it gonna be?

 

“Never complain, never explain. Resist the temptation to defend yourself or make excuses.”

― Brian Tracy

 

Always take responsibly for your actions. As humans, our society has preprogramed us to react to almost everything that happens in our lives, in the lives of others, the world at large, etc. We are either blaming, defending, judging or giving excuses. It’s definitely not going to be easy-peazy but knowing that every event can either be a lesson or a reward is perhaps one of the greatest lessons you’d learn.

 

“It doesn’t matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going.”

― Brian Tracy

 

Try not to focus on how many times you have fallen short on how many times you blundered. If you woke up grumpy and complaining about everything else, stop yourself the moment you realize it and begin afresh on a new page. Give your day a title if you must, like a movie you are watching and are having a good laugh or like a booking you are reading and are enjoying immemsely in the most quiet corner of your mind. Whatever you do, always remember to start over whenever you fail ’cause you would and often. Failure can be a good thing too.

 

“We learn from failure, not from success!”

― Bram Stoker

 

Always have a day plan. A day without a plan is a day destined for catastrophe. By not having a plan, you open the door for anything and everything to crowd your day. You become irritable and frustrated and you often sometimes disgust yourself. You are angry at everyone and at everything and nothing makes sense. That’s not a good place to be. So try to have a day plan. A day at a time is always a good place to start and one item on your to-do-list is not a bad idea. Achieving that single piece of command on your list can be a major victory and one giant step toward improving your self-esteem.

 

“You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.”

― Colette

 

Be true to yourself. Be kind too. Be open minded; to corrections and to new tricks. Stay positive and have faith that it will all work out in the end. One good day after another, and in that sequence, amounts to one good future, one good life well lived. So whatever you choose to do each day as you decide to show up in life, remember that you will do some foolish things, but that shouldn’t bother you, so long as you do them with enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is important because it leads to being happy, purposeful and focused. Enthusiasm is also a significant key to success.

 

Finally what ever happens ——->>>>>>>>>>>>

 

>>>>>>>>> “Never, never, never give in!”

― Winston Churchill

 

xoxo

WHEN COMING… PLEASE BRING YOU ALONG

And remember, no matter where you go, there you are – Confucius

If you’re going to attend the baby shower, don’t go there if you’re going to leave your spirit and soul in your up-side-down closet. Your friends can see you at the event, with your morphed smiles and monologues but your mind is at home, rummaging the overturned closet your body left behind. If you have decided to spend the weekend at your best friend’s so you can let your hair down and get some sleep, take time off from the crazy 9 to 5 routine, then do just that. Don’t be there in body while your mind is busy running through the folders on your computer, the one you left at your office desk Friday before! Stay in the present moment. You may be wondering what that means. It means simply, don’t be in one place in body whilst your mind goes on a cross-country cruise fixing all the issues you left behind at home, at the office, with the kids, with your ex etc. Do not live perpetually in the past and do not permanently daydream about the future. If that’s your reality then where have you stashed your today, at the Laundromat? You may have heard it said before; the mind exists in the present moment. You bring what is needed to every circumstance and situation of your life. You can either choose to bring light, and brighten the shadows cast by your past or you can escape your current reality by refusing to participate in what is here this moment and now. You can choose to engage in piecing the puzzle together and to find answers or you can give excuses why you can’t. You can choose to be present or absent. It’s up to you.

 

Get involved. You don’t want to look back on your life and realize that you successfully managed to stay out of it. – Robert Brault

 

Say you are sitting down on a bench in the park and watching this chain of events happen, one surreal event after another. A few hours later, what seemed like a few hours have actually been days and weeks and years. Then you realize, what a long walk in the park that was and all those events you sat watching gloomily and tiredly had actually been your life. Scary isn’t? Wouldn’t you be in such a frantic frenzy to find out at the end of your life that you successfully managed to stay out it? Have you ever heard the frequent saying, “You don’t want to wake up one day and realize…” Well that is what happens when you elude the nitty-gritty of your existence; when you are present in body but absent in thought. When you simply let things be and tell yourself, “Somehow, it all works out…” well… it certainly does work out, but what essentially happens is that, you are left out of the game and you never have the full detail of how you spent your generous amount of days. Your life is lived in fragments and shards. You become a sad sorely has-been.

Bring you

It would be really sad as much as scary to suddenly realize that everything you have done and everywhere you have been to wasn’t exactly done consciously, that you were perpetually influenced by someone or something or by the trends. What’s worse is if you can’t even remember why you did those things or why you chose to go to those places. You are completely oblivious to the reasons why you have been such and such a person. You have become the forgetful one among your peers. Never truly listening. Never truly there. You are here but always somewhere else at the same time. No one moment is entirely good enough for you. No one moment is entirely real. If you can relate to this, then it is time you begin to ask the real questions. Everyday when you wake up, try saying to yourself, “This is where I am right now in my life, and this is what I am going to make of it. I am going to be happy being here because I know I can and will make the best out of it. Although I may be here now, it is not where I hope to be, but I will be here anyway because it is only by being here fully that I can find the strength to get there timely and adequately.” It sounds like blabbing but if you give it a try it is sure better  than daydreaming your way through life, and it sure beats sulking away in regret of the mistakes of your past. Richard Templar said in ” The Rules of Life”: The past should be a doorway where you go through for only a few minutes not a room where you reside! Same goes to saying your fantasies should energize you to work towards achieving your dreams, not the other part of your bipolar residence. So the next time you are off to an event or thing, remember to take ‘you’ along. Spirit, soul, and body.

 

Up to a point, a man’s life is shaped by environment, heredity, and movements and changes in the world about him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, “This I am today; that I will be tomorrow.” ~Louis L’Amour

 

There comes a time when YOU, not me, not your mum or your aunt or your boyfriend but you have to come to that place where you grab the clay of your life out of the hands of whoever’s got it and become the potter of your life. Only you can shape it into what you wish, what you want and what you desire. Going to college or university isn’t going to do that for you. Neither are all the fine things in this world. Some of us got it backwards. We have the cart before the horse and we wonder why our life is torn in different directions. We do everything and anything but take responsibility for our actions and what we are becoming as a result. Its time to wake up! Stop being the on looker, or the apprentice, in the workshop that is meant to be your own life; it’s time to resume the prestigious duty of being the potter of your life. Take responsibility. Face your demons. Make those changes. Be fully engaged in the nuances of your days, a day at a time. Choose to bring the bubbly, vibrant energy you need into your everyday. Enjoy the richness of every moment, celebrate your little victories and see how gorgeous and encouraging it all turns out in the end.

Puppets

Be the puppeteer of your life

Look at it this way; you are either the puppet or the puppeteer. If you are the puppet, then who, or what is puppeteering your life? That’s something to think about.

Don’t pass on the lamp, the genie and your three wishes!!!

Dancing Queen

If it’s your turn to dance

Get up and swirl, glide and show us the samba

Let your voice be heard

If it’s your turn to sing

Open your mouth and let out the best melody you can summon

Our speeches come alive

When it’s your turn to speak

Be gracious and share your wisdom, take us down memory lane

When it’s your turn to show up

Be your best self and embrace us with the warmth of your presence

Dare

Watching you dance has loosened the rigidity of my limbs

Now I can sway, gyrate and tango

Listening to your mellifluous voice has awakened the music in me

Now I belt out the most harmonious rhythms

When I heard your speech, my heart suddenly shone with light

Now I can find my way through this darkened tunnel

I am blessed by the richness you bring each time you are here

Now I make certain I bring my magic touch to every moment

Let your light shine

When you let yourself shine with all its brightness and luster

You give others the permission to shine as well

Flying geese

When you unhinge yourself from your limiting beliefs

You spread your wings, and as you fly you attract a flock of geese* in your wake

Flowing stream

When you shake of the urge to stay numb and cold

You melt into a vibrant stream gushing with life and effervescence

When you find the light within and allow it flood your being

You realize that you not only light your path, you light your world

Love is sharing and receiving

Don’t pass on a rare occasion in order to hide your quirkiness

It is the doorway that enables another to accept her peculiarity

Don’t pass on the gift that is meant for you to have and cherish

It is perhaps the last key in the bunch, the one that eventually unlocks the door

Love and Affection

Don’t pass up the moment for love and affection

It may be your window to discovering the treasures you embosom

Don’t pass on the lamp, the genie and your three wishes

It is your opportunity to uncoil, and with deep breathe, air your dreams, wishes and desires

Free

*Dr. Robert McNeish, a teacher from Baltimore, MD wrote: ‘when one goose flaps its wings, it creates ‘uplift’ for the birds that follow…’

Strut Like A Peacock

Okay I actually mean that in a good way. I’m not saying be ostentatious, rather be self-assuring and assertive. Strut your turf. That’s what girls do; we swagger, we sashay.

 

Whereas the average individuals often have not the slightest idea, what they are, what they want or their own opinions, self-actualizing individuals have superior awareness of their own impulses, desires, opinions, and subjective reactions. — Abraham Maslow

 

So what is it you really, truly want? Are your core activities in alignment with your deepest desires? Do you know why you indulge those routines day in day out? Can you truly describe the life you would rather have? If you did, would it in anyway look like the one you’re now stuck with or forced to tolerate?

 

You’ve got to have your antennas straightened and sharpened with heightened frequencies of your identity and capabilities as the girl of the moment. You cannot afford to slack. Slackers are average. And we already agreed that average isn’t an option. You can be your best self but first you must discover who she is, what she wants and where she wants to be. Then you must be her ambassador, be her forerunner. Be the go-between. Be the intermediary between your amazing self and the world at large. Be bold. Be proud. Be assertive. Strut your stuff. Walk the room, be a shinning vision of light. Allow the world the privilege and honor of enjoying your essence as you walk these paths. Overcome the temptation to cower behind the crowd and join the flock to no-man’s-land. Stop waiting for an invitation to do the very thing that only you could possibly contribute to humanity.

 

Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment. — Tao Tzu

 

We mostly take pride in predicting the world and the people around us. We like to lead conversations about tough subjects and political crises. We enjoy showing off our knowledge about mundane issues and everything else around us but once the spotlight swings our way for us to say something about ourselves, our wishes and our dreams, rather than seizing the moment to shine, we freak out and dampen it with excuses and denial. Instead of swanking, you duck. Instead of being the star of the Opera, you recline into the back seats of the theatre. Instead of brightening up the moment with the story of your milestones, you submerge it in gloom and toss the golden opportunity to another. You pass on the lamp, the genie and your three wishes. You slam the door shut on your benefactor. You are quick to embrace insignificance. You grasp tightly the delusion that says, you must never let your voice be heard, never let yourself be noticed, never embrace the spotlight when it’s your turn. You must hide, because you don’t belong in that circle. You don’t belong in that circle where you too can raise your head, smile and glide, and boldly claim your spot in the world. You cower. You recoil. You fade into the backdrop.

 

“They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.” ~Confucius

 

What then can one do to live dynamically and not monotonously? How will a girl find her way out of the maze or make sense of the mess she’s in. How can she possibly be aglow, it’s a dark cloud all around her. She can begin by first choosing to be happy no matter what. She can choose to laugh at her mistakes and pick herself up again. She can choose to realize that who she is, is the doorway to wonders never before known, never before heard and never before seen. She can choose to love herself. Celebrate her victories. Sing her praises. Let her hair down. Dance for joy. Laugh with abandon. She can choose to love herself. Love conquers all.

 

Love yourself, accept yourself, forgive yourself & be good to yourself because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things. – A wise one

Strut your stuff...

Strut your stuff…

BE YOU ON PURPOSE

My very first musing is inspired by amazing girls of our times and the first quote here is by one of the greatest country-girls of all time. From one Cowgirl to a City-girl…

 

Find out who you are and do it on purpose

– Dolly Parton

 

A girl’s life evolves with every heartbeat and new trend. It is easy for us to lose ourselves in the midst of it all. With new crazes, diverse luxuries to indulge, a million and one ways to make a living, and the gazillion amount of information available to us per second with the unlimited opportunities made available on the Internet. It’s easy for a girl to slip into hibernation mode and think she’s is still relevant.

 

Cut down your excesses. Think deep. Take a closer look at yourself and what makes you unique. Decide you will be more than average. Choose to be who you truly should be and do what only you can make happen. Be that difference. Wake up to who you were meant to be and be that person on purpose. Stay awake. Overcome the amnesia of constantly snoozing your way through life.

 

Be a first rate version of yourself – Judy Garland

 

The gift you can give to yourself is to be happiest being the best you can be. It is easy to quickly forget the life long commitment to be original and recline into the dimly lit corners of bars, get lost in the maze of shopping malls, and go gaga on the dance floor of merriment. We are busy looking fab on the outside while the girl inside is ashen and deprived of the spotlight. She is drained watching you become a second rate version of someone else. That can change now. You can be fabulous and still be you at the same time – not Harley Berry or Beyoncé. Not the girl who lives next door. Not a perfect mimic of your idol or fav celebrity. Not another version of your boss or the women who inspire you but your true amazing self. Be proudly you. Be YOU on purpose.

 

We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege & adventure to discover our own special light – Mary Dunbar

 

We seek adventure whilst the greatest adventure yet awaits our awakening to reality; the reality that is your beautiful life, waiting to happen. Go through the motions of rediscovering what you love, what you want and what you deeply desire. Immerse yourself in euphoria, and let that be the source of your energy as you embark on the journey of self-discovery. Follow the road to your dreams; take the bends and the turns. Backpack the rocky pathway, and with intention and purpose enjoy the ride. Embrace the woman you are becoming and celebrate your little victories.

 

Never try to do something that is outside of who you are. A forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart, so recognize it when it happens. Living a lie will reduce you to one. – Ashley Lorenzana

 

Perhaps your biggest struggle would be to listen and give in to the voices of the majority. To focus on what is going on outside rather than focus on the inner workings of your resilience and tenacity. It may take a while, but if you keep on long enough, the blurry vision and mirages along your course will soon align with your heart. Never live a lie, or sooner than later, you become one yourself.

 

As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as in being able to remake ourselves. – Mahatma Gandhi

Be You on Purpose

Be You on Purpose