spotlight

LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE

How does a girl know if she is living her best life? Easy, check with your conscience. Check with your gut feeling. Check with your sweet spot. That place where, when you have done simply amazing stuff, you feel a tingly in the bottom of your stomach. A faint rumbling that whispers to you, “Wow, I am gorgeous. I was fab back there.”

Half the time we are day dreaming about how our tomorrow is going to be great, oooh we are going to be absolutely fabulous. Then when occasion calls for us to show up and be the best we can be, we sabotage our golden opportunity. By the way, every opportunity, and any opportunity at all that requires you bringing your energy to the scene to perform or to observe, is a golden opportunity.

Time is our greatest resource. Therefore, any occasion that demands your time is a golden opportunity. So, question, what have you been doing with your golden opportunities? I’m thinking  about mine in the corner of my mind and I must confess, not so good either.

Are you familiar with the phrase, “I’m not in the mood…” It is a second rate status that leaves us being second rate versions of ourselves. What does that statement mean anyway? Let’s take an instance: You happen to be at a gathering where the compere has just, unfortunately, cancelled on the celebrant. Your friend says to you, “Oh goodie, you are here! You can do this, it is your forte…” What do you say in response, “I’m not in the mood, because blablabla…”

You dampen the moment with excuses and sourness. Your friend gives you the break you need because you asked for it and someone else takes the spotlight. Then the inevitable happens. Your stomach sinks to the bottom of your belly. You know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have just let down your inner Mojo. You haven’t lived up to expectation!

That is probably the best definition of what it means to live your best life. Live, not to, but beyond expectation. Go the extra mile. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying live up to the expectations of people rather live up to the expectation of your highest potential.

Live your best life
Only you know deep down what your capabilities are, but most times we are crippled by fear and anxiety, and other people’s opinion. We let the fear of failure drown us in the sea of the unknown, the sea of uncertainties. Then we allow the many voices of other people’s opinion drive our inner voice to the background, crushed against a brick wall.

Each time we reject a golden opportunity, we shortchange our radiance in the world. We throw a blanket over our luminescence, and instead of shining, we are dingy. The more golden opportunities we giveaway, the less we believe we were created to shimmer and to gleam and the more we become comfortable with grim, drab and shabbiness.

Act your best life at all times. Give the best that only you is capable of giving and be that gift with gratitude and with graciousness. Fulfill your time here on earth by filling your cup at all times with the best wine pressed from the best grapes in your vineyard.

Make up your mind to be the first rate version of yourself everyday, make it a lifelong mantra and your life will always swing back with more strength and more zeal and drive than you’ve ever imagined possible.

Arrive at every event, every place, every moment with the intention to serve your best juice and you will be amazed how many of us have shown up with empty vessels waiting to be served and refreshed with your sensational offering.

Red wine

SUPER-DUPER “IT GIRL” OR LOST GIRL

A forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart – Ashley Lorenzana

You can be the super-duper ‘it girl’ and still be lost in your reality. How? Lets take a typical scenario. Say you’re a top model in the fashion industry with a gazillion runways and photo spreads to your portfolio. You are one of the successful minorities, with daily shoots and weekly traveling schedules, and a seasonal engagement with top fashion shows across the world. You have made your agent richer than he ever dreamed he would be in years. You are no longer the girl from the ghetto and your vocabulary has dramatically switched from local lingua to Ferragamo and Christian Louboutin. Your career is every girl’s dream because you make it seem so easy by gliding through your routines with such enviable grace. Seems like a perfect picture right? Yes it does but guess what?

 

Louboutin Stiletto

Louboutin Stiletto

 

Half the time, you are constantly self-motivating and gingering yourself to stay the haul. You get to work and you wish the hours would fly by so you can get back to where your day started, which is your cozy bed; So, to achieve that quicker and faster you switch to daydream and fantasy mode – hibernation mode. The place where you are happiest and calm, anywhere but what you are meant to do in the present. Anywhere but work. Your escape destination has become your favorite mind-travel destination. Do you love your job? Yes, but lately you’d rather not be dressing up and strutting the runway. Do you love the glamorous designer clothes? Yes, but you’d rather be in a jumper and sweats, having drinks with the girls all weekend. Do you love the shoes, bags and accessories that accrue to you courtesy your fab job? Yes, but somehow that’s been the only exciting things in your life for a very long time now, they’ve soon blurred into bore! That popular saying, “A million girls would kill for that job”, no longer thrills you and make your stomach tizzy. The joke that cracked everyone up is no longer funny; everyone is laughing his or her guts out but you. Maybe the joke is on you! You are in all the right places but for the wrong reasons. If this is your story then two things are correct; you are the ‘Super-duper it-girl’ and you are absent from your reality. Your repeated forced smile is a dire sign that something is dreadfully wrongly with everything. That picture isn’t good.

 

Ferragamo Shoe

Ferragamo

 

So what do you do, quit your job? Not really, at least not immediately. A job like this one comes with a lot of prospects, cherry and bubbly people, maybe happy, maybe optimistic. I guess it takes some dose of optimism and positivity and cheeriness to survive in an industry as tough and demanding as the fashion industry or any industry for that matter. Back to the question, what do you do? Let’s have a second look at that quote by Ashley Lorenzana.

 

Never try to do anything that is outside of who you are. A forced smile is a sign of what feels wrong in your heart, so recognize it when it happens. Living a lie will reduce you to one. – Ashley Lorenzana

Yeah the first line at the top was only a part of the original quote. Now with the complete text, what do you think you should do?

Here is what, I think I’d do if I found myself in situations where I am supposedly having a good time but can’t seem to drown the slightest nudge that implies I’m having a ‘not-so-bad’ time. Bad is bad! Whether it is the ‘not-so-bad’ or ‘not-as-bad’ type. I’ll begin first by asking myself, why do I feel a tad sad? Why do I feel very low after laughing so hard? Why is my heartbeat anxious at the thought of sunrise? ‘Why’ is always a good place to begin when seeking answers? What is the secret to my happiness? What gives me fulfillment; Status or purpose?

 

Ferragamo

Ferragamo

 

Sometimes awareness can be painful, especially when we judge ourselves so harshly by what we are becoming aware of in our lives. 

 

As the light begins to shine on you and you begin to find answers, try not to beat yourself up. Give yourself a hug and tell yourself, you are going to work this out and in doing so, you will surely find the strength to work out of limbo.

 

The words “I am” are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you. ~A.L. Kitselman

 

Avoid the temptation to say silly words like, ‘Gosh! How dumb have I been? The answers’ been staring me in the face all this time’, ‘If only I’d read this post before now’, ‘How could I have been so cowardly, and stupid?’ No, that’s unacceptable. Instead say to yourself, ‘Awesome, truly sewing gives me so much joy! I am going to reach out to all my top designer friends and begin my journey to stardom on a new path! Whoohoo! This feels real good!’   Say only what you want to become. You don’t want stupid and cowardly to come chasing you in broad day light like Freddie Kruger. Most certainly not, rather awesome, joy and victory cries will come after you to claim you.

 

 

Ferragamo

Ferragamo

Stay in the present moment

 

Finally, stay in the present moment. Be here, this moment and now, be fully aware and engaged with your thoughts, your actions and how you are evolving. Embrace the life that is your own. Choose the life that you want not the life that you need. There’s a difference.

louboutin

 

WHEN COMING… PLEASE BRING YOU ALONG

And remember, no matter where you go, there you are – Confucius

If you’re going to attend the baby shower, don’t go there if you’re going to leave your spirit and soul in your up-side-down closet. Your friends can see you at the event, with your morphed smiles and monologues but your mind is at home, rummaging the overturned closet your body left behind. If you have decided to spend the weekend at your best friend’s so you can let your hair down and get some sleep, take time off from the crazy 9 to 5 routine, then do just that. Don’t be there in body while your mind is busy running through the folders on your computer, the one you left at your office desk Friday before! Stay in the present moment. You may be wondering what that means. It means simply, don’t be in one place in body whilst your mind goes on a cross-country cruise fixing all the issues you left behind at home, at the office, with the kids, with your ex etc. Do not live perpetually in the past and do not permanently daydream about the future. If that’s your reality then where have you stashed your today, at the Laundromat? You may have heard it said before; the mind exists in the present moment. You bring what is needed to every circumstance and situation of your life. You can either choose to bring light, and brighten the shadows cast by your past or you can escape your current reality by refusing to participate in what is here this moment and now. You can choose to engage in piecing the puzzle together and to find answers or you can give excuses why you can’t. You can choose to be present or absent. It’s up to you.

 

Get involved. You don’t want to look back on your life and realize that you successfully managed to stay out of it. – Robert Brault

 

Say you are sitting down on a bench in the park and watching this chain of events happen, one surreal event after another. A few hours later, what seemed like a few hours have actually been days and weeks and years. Then you realize, what a long walk in the park that was and all those events you sat watching gloomily and tiredly had actually been your life. Scary isn’t? Wouldn’t you be in such a frantic frenzy to find out at the end of your life that you successfully managed to stay out it? Have you ever heard the frequent saying, “You don’t want to wake up one day and realize…” Well that is what happens when you elude the nitty-gritty of your existence; when you are present in body but absent in thought. When you simply let things be and tell yourself, “Somehow, it all works out…” well… it certainly does work out, but what essentially happens is that, you are left out of the game and you never have the full detail of how you spent your generous amount of days. Your life is lived in fragments and shards. You become a sad sorely has-been.

Bring you

It would be really sad as much as scary to suddenly realize that everything you have done and everywhere you have been to wasn’t exactly done consciously, that you were perpetually influenced by someone or something or by the trends. What’s worse is if you can’t even remember why you did those things or why you chose to go to those places. You are completely oblivious to the reasons why you have been such and such a person. You have become the forgetful one among your peers. Never truly listening. Never truly there. You are here but always somewhere else at the same time. No one moment is entirely good enough for you. No one moment is entirely real. If you can relate to this, then it is time you begin to ask the real questions. Everyday when you wake up, try saying to yourself, “This is where I am right now in my life, and this is what I am going to make of it. I am going to be happy being here because I know I can and will make the best out of it. Although I may be here now, it is not where I hope to be, but I will be here anyway because it is only by being here fully that I can find the strength to get there timely and adequately.” It sounds like blabbing but if you give it a try it is sure better  than daydreaming your way through life, and it sure beats sulking away in regret of the mistakes of your past. Richard Templar said in ” The Rules of Life”: The past should be a doorway where you go through for only a few minutes not a room where you reside! Same goes to saying your fantasies should energize you to work towards achieving your dreams, not the other part of your bipolar residence. So the next time you are off to an event or thing, remember to take ‘you’ along. Spirit, soul, and body.

 

Up to a point, a man’s life is shaped by environment, heredity, and movements and changes in the world about him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, “This I am today; that I will be tomorrow.” ~Louis L’Amour

 

There comes a time when YOU, not me, not your mum or your aunt or your boyfriend but you have to come to that place where you grab the clay of your life out of the hands of whoever’s got it and become the potter of your life. Only you can shape it into what you wish, what you want and what you desire. Going to college or university isn’t going to do that for you. Neither are all the fine things in this world. Some of us got it backwards. We have the cart before the horse and we wonder why our life is torn in different directions. We do everything and anything but take responsibility for our actions and what we are becoming as a result. Its time to wake up! Stop being the on looker, or the apprentice, in the workshop that is meant to be your own life; it’s time to resume the prestigious duty of being the potter of your life. Take responsibility. Face your demons. Make those changes. Be fully engaged in the nuances of your days, a day at a time. Choose to bring the bubbly, vibrant energy you need into your everyday. Enjoy the richness of every moment, celebrate your little victories and see how gorgeous and encouraging it all turns out in the end.

Puppets

Be the puppeteer of your life

Look at it this way; you are either the puppet or the puppeteer. If you are the puppet, then who, or what is puppeteering your life? That’s something to think about.

Don’t pass on the lamp, the genie and your three wishes!!!

Dancing Queen

If it’s your turn to dance

Get up and swirl, glide and show us the samba

Let your voice be heard

If it’s your turn to sing

Open your mouth and let out the best melody you can summon

Our speeches come alive

When it’s your turn to speak

Be gracious and share your wisdom, take us down memory lane

When it’s your turn to show up

Be your best self and embrace us with the warmth of your presence

Dare

Watching you dance has loosened the rigidity of my limbs

Now I can sway, gyrate and tango

Listening to your mellifluous voice has awakened the music in me

Now I belt out the most harmonious rhythms

When I heard your speech, my heart suddenly shone with light

Now I can find my way through this darkened tunnel

I am blessed by the richness you bring each time you are here

Now I make certain I bring my magic touch to every moment

Let your light shine

When you let yourself shine with all its brightness and luster

You give others the permission to shine as well

Flying geese

When you unhinge yourself from your limiting beliefs

You spread your wings, and as you fly you attract a flock of geese* in your wake

Flowing stream

When you shake of the urge to stay numb and cold

You melt into a vibrant stream gushing with life and effervescence

When you find the light within and allow it flood your being

You realize that you not only light your path, you light your world

Love is sharing and receiving

Don’t pass on a rare occasion in order to hide your quirkiness

It is the doorway that enables another to accept her peculiarity

Don’t pass on the gift that is meant for you to have and cherish

It is perhaps the last key in the bunch, the one that eventually unlocks the door

Love and Affection

Don’t pass up the moment for love and affection

It may be your window to discovering the treasures you embosom

Don’t pass on the lamp, the genie and your three wishes

It is your opportunity to uncoil, and with deep breathe, air your dreams, wishes and desires

Free

*Dr. Robert McNeish, a teacher from Baltimore, MD wrote: ‘when one goose flaps its wings, it creates ‘uplift’ for the birds that follow…’

Strut Like A Peacock

Okay I actually mean that in a good way. I’m not saying be ostentatious, rather be self-assuring and assertive. Strut your turf. That’s what girls do; we swagger, we sashay.

 

Whereas the average individuals often have not the slightest idea, what they are, what they want or their own opinions, self-actualizing individuals have superior awareness of their own impulses, desires, opinions, and subjective reactions. — Abraham Maslow

 

So what is it you really, truly want? Are your core activities in alignment with your deepest desires? Do you know why you indulge those routines day in day out? Can you truly describe the life you would rather have? If you did, would it in anyway look like the one you’re now stuck with or forced to tolerate?

 

You’ve got to have your antennas straightened and sharpened with heightened frequencies of your identity and capabilities as the girl of the moment. You cannot afford to slack. Slackers are average. And we already agreed that average isn’t an option. You can be your best self but first you must discover who she is, what she wants and where she wants to be. Then you must be her ambassador, be her forerunner. Be the go-between. Be the intermediary between your amazing self and the world at large. Be bold. Be proud. Be assertive. Strut your stuff. Walk the room, be a shinning vision of light. Allow the world the privilege and honor of enjoying your essence as you walk these paths. Overcome the temptation to cower behind the crowd and join the flock to no-man’s-land. Stop waiting for an invitation to do the very thing that only you could possibly contribute to humanity.

 

Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment. — Tao Tzu

 

We mostly take pride in predicting the world and the people around us. We like to lead conversations about tough subjects and political crises. We enjoy showing off our knowledge about mundane issues and everything else around us but once the spotlight swings our way for us to say something about ourselves, our wishes and our dreams, rather than seizing the moment to shine, we freak out and dampen it with excuses and denial. Instead of swanking, you duck. Instead of being the star of the Opera, you recline into the back seats of the theatre. Instead of brightening up the moment with the story of your milestones, you submerge it in gloom and toss the golden opportunity to another. You pass on the lamp, the genie and your three wishes. You slam the door shut on your benefactor. You are quick to embrace insignificance. You grasp tightly the delusion that says, you must never let your voice be heard, never let yourself be noticed, never embrace the spotlight when it’s your turn. You must hide, because you don’t belong in that circle. You don’t belong in that circle where you too can raise your head, smile and glide, and boldly claim your spot in the world. You cower. You recoil. You fade into the backdrop.

 

“They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.” ~Confucius

 

What then can one do to live dynamically and not monotonously? How will a girl find her way out of the maze or make sense of the mess she’s in. How can she possibly be aglow, it’s a dark cloud all around her. She can begin by first choosing to be happy no matter what. She can choose to laugh at her mistakes and pick herself up again. She can choose to realize that who she is, is the doorway to wonders never before known, never before heard and never before seen. She can choose to love herself. Celebrate her victories. Sing her praises. Let her hair down. Dance for joy. Laugh with abandon. She can choose to love herself. Love conquers all.

 

Love yourself, accept yourself, forgive yourself & be good to yourself because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things. – A wise one

Strut your stuff...

Strut your stuff…