success

You got to find what you LOVE!

As we come to the close of another month, I’ll like to share this piece with you. It inspires me anytime I read it and every word of it is so, so true. Many people inspire me, many things stir me to want to be better than I currently am. Like ordinary people doing extra ordinary things, like my awesome family members and their big hearts, like great books written by beautiful people, great movies with moving stories, like the author of this piece you are about to read.


“If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.”

You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.  Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.

STAY HUNGRY. STAY FOOLISH.

Selected text from the transcribed speech by Steve Jobs,
Stanford Report, June 14, 2005


I hope you’ve had an amazing July just like I’ve had.  I hope you’ve been inspired by my random musings. I hope you have learned something new. I hope you have been convinced, even if it’s just a little bit, that you are bigger inside than you could ever imagine. If you believe so, then why not, my July has certainly been awesome. Write down your goals for August, take a step of faith and reach for the stars! Be simply awesome!! XOXO

Reach for the stars

RULES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN

“Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.”
― Dalai Lama XIV


Maybe I’m a rebel at heart. Maybe we all should be rebels at some point in our lives. Maybe that is the way it should be if we must hone our unique abilities. You should be ready to break the rules when it gets to your turn. This isn’t suggesting you become a mindless rebel, like going without clothes because it is your unique ability to wade off the scorching sun or freezing weather! That would be insanity wouldn’t it? Even though following your heart sometimes can be likened to insanity, but of course you do know what I mean right?

Once, I use to think that people who did great things were special people. That they had, literally, a silver spoon in their mouths when they where born. No kidding. I used to be that clueless. I would stare at these images in glossy magazines and would spend tons of hours in front of the TV because I had to have my dose of mesmerization and there was never enough to go round. My eyelids would hang wide open in awe,  gaping with my mouth dripping, my internal senses stirred and roused, desiring to be like these superstars. These awfully lucky superstars.

Of course now, I know better. Now I know that people only become special because of handwork. Persistent handwork and mind drilling intentions. Now I know that I too can be special no matter the circumstance and that I can be a superstar if only I do the work, and then of course break some rules.

It’s a lot clearer now what I mean by breaking rules, isn’t it? It has to do with being great, being special and being a superstar. You probably have heard this before, that there is no such thing as luck only hard work. And that there is no such thing as talent, only persistence. Meaning if you work hard at it long enough, developing your skills and all you’ll become talented and you’ll be successful and then people will say, “oh look how lucky she is…”

Well, now you know the secret, that the only reason why you are still a spectator, observing all the wonders happen to the minority other than yourself is well, one of several things. You need to start breaking rules. You need to leave your confort zone and try the unusual, which is relative of course, I mean how do you try the unusual when you don’t even know whats usual for you. Big question.

Rules are good, don’t get me wrong. Rules are good because they show to you your limits, and what better growth is there than the one that stretches you beyond your limits. Rules show to you what others have done to get their own results, and in a way gives you clues of what you can do that no one has ever attempted. Rules show to you a road map of the routes available that you can take to reach your destination, and if you studied them long enough, you will begin to see new routes that no one ever knew existed.

It is the whole essence of life, to create and co-create. The process is on going and that is what makes life exciting — breaking the rules. If you are still feeling uneasy about this, then perhaps you are thinking about principles and not rules. Rules are man-made, and anything that is made by man is subject to errors, and alteration by another human. While principles operate by laws and laws exist by nature so whatever you do, no matter how ground breaking your intentions are, you can never cheat the laws of the universe. They are constant, they are real and they are alive.

So congratulations! Now you are free to break any rules that have kept you in the dark, held you back from shining like the star you were born to be. Only follow your heart and your big dream, you may rip a muscle or two in the process, but it would be worth it. Also find someone who can help guide you, someone who has gone ahead of you and believes in you, that is so important. As you go in pursuit of your goals, its always great to have a guide, like a coach or a mentor who is willing to support you and helps you navigate the thorn bushes of life. Again, congratulations!


“Following all the rules leaves a completed checklist. Following your heart achieves a completed you.”― Ray Davis


Eleanor Roosevelt 1884-1962

5 DISCOVERIES YOU WILL MAKE ON YOUR LIFE’S JOURNEY


A hero is born among a hundred, a wise man is found among a thousand, but an accomplished one might not be found even among a hundred thousand men. – Plato


1. There is always an extra mile, an extra push

Never think for once in your life that being mediocre has got its advantages. Maybe it does. In that case you will live a quiet meaningless life with not a single bother. You will spend most of your days a spectator, hardly a commentator because that would require a ginormous dose of gusto. But of course that isn’t in your plan. You may be thinking though, that well I am not Oprah, I cannot stand before a crowd and speak. Who says that’s what being a hero is all about? Who says it’s about trying to be someone else? Heroism is found within us. We become heroes when we realize that we matter in the world and in our own little way begin to make that impression on every soul we meet. We spread our pixie dust everywhere we go, we lift a dark cloud and leave behind some laughter, a soft touch, a big hug. We become wise when we embrace the joy of living with zest and with a niggling compulsion to be the soprano in every day’s symphony. This is a fact of life, that heroes and the wise can be spotted among a thousand. But the one who has gone the extra mile to hone her skills, and harness her innate power, is so hard to find. And isn’t it so, that the nurse in the small clinic downtown is known by her patients as one-in-a-million. And the teacher in the local school with broken windows, will always remain the favorite and most loved by her poor pupils, she is to them more than gold, a one-of-a-kind. And the single mum whose kids at Christmas would always inscribe in the card greatest-mum-ever. What is your purpose, what is your reason for being, what is your high calling? Is it to merely drift through life and bob at every opinion that wings its way through the air? Is it to be uninspired neither by sunshine or by rain? Is it to exude a lackluster vibe and be hidden from the stars above? Can you begin to discover the beauty muddled in disorder and find peace in chaos? Can you begin to make sense of your dilemmas? Can you find within you the courage, to piece together an image worthy of praise, with the fragments from your misfortune? Can you become a one-of-a-kind? Will you go that extra mile and be the one in one hundred thousand? Not the spectator.


You will learn as you get older, that the rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms and never, ever apologize for it. Mandy Hale


2. Rules are meant to be broken

Be unstoppable. Be brave. Be bold. As you evolve and your muscles toughen, you will begin to appreciate your journey more and love yourself even better. At every milestone you will realize how much you have grown, how much you have learnt and how lonely you have sojourned. You realize that indeed you have taken the road less traveled and even though it hasn’t been easy it’s been worth it. You have chosen the path that is uniquely yours and uniquely you. You have overcome the urge to trim off the very shoots that give you zing. You have embraced your quirkiness and in it you have discovered your greatest potential and now with it you will impact the world with wonder. But first you must travel this road, this rarely beaten path where the rules that exist are the ones you have chosen and designed, suitable for you and tolerable only by your quirkiness. You will learn this fact of life, first to be the unbearable pain and fear of being estranged, then later as an incredible reward; the joys of imperfections and the beauty of idiosyncrasies.


You will find your voice in so many places, it doesn’t mean you are insane, it only means that deep down, you recognize who you are and soon you will become at peace with that image. It means you are growing and are mastering your rhythm


3. You must make the effort to find yourself first, then everything else follows

As you journey through life you will see many wonders and creations that make you dance within. A line of thought, a song, a whisper. When you hear them, your heart leaps. In your search for yourself and what you love, you will meet many people, different origins and with different values yet something inside of them is recognizable to you. Something they say or do is familiar, like a faint memory, something in the way they interpret the world, aligns with something deep inside of you. In the myriad of hues, you find and choose the textures and patterns that are uniquely you and reflect your deepest desires. In the cacophony of tunes, you can single out the notes and tempos that resonate with you. In the midst of the dissonance, you find melody that only you can relate to the world. And within a jungle of views and values, from little pieces collected over time, you find rhythm, in it all there is concordance. As the puzzle assembles together, you begin to find yourself, your image is clearer, your voice is fine-tuned and your identity is certain. You have become a true citizen of the world. You have mastered your rhythm, now you can sing your song with audaciousness and grace. You have taken your place in the world.


You will learn that true love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion but on the contrary, an element calm and deep. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. – Ellen G. White


4. Your perspective about love will continue to evolve

A woman will discover love in the most awkward place, in the most unusual person, at the most unexpected time, and in the most defining moments of her life. If her life weren’t a defining moment at the time of falling in love, then finding love at the time, would certainly give it some definiteness. She would experience love in many colors, and many shades. At some point it is a roaring fire, some other time it is a ravaging beast, for some it is like the wind, never knowing where it is going or where it is coming from. For many it is a wild fire, it comes and licks up every ounce of their being. Life is saturated with tragedies and fairytale endings alike, where some have lost their senses, others have made sense of their lives, where some lose their reasoning, others found their paradise. Love is many things to different people, and overtime the wise ones among us have come to the conclusion that our perception of love is probably the last thing on the list. And time and again we will discover as we journey along, that love can be calm, and deep, like still waters running through rocky crevices. That it does after all, have eyes that can see, and it looks beyond the externals to discover emotions, gestures, motives and sensibilities within the person that is about to become lover or foe. True love is a mystery yet. One that will continually awe us for as long as the human race exists.

 


You won’t always get where you intended to go in life, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be. – Marc & Angel


5. You won’t always arrive where you intended, but it would be just fine

If truly this is a journey, then in your hands are a map, and a compass, telling you what turn to take and what bridge to follow. Your destination is new to you, you have never been there before but with the map, you know just how to get there, so you prepare and you begin your journey. You have a picture in your mind’s eye of what this utopia will look like, you have painted one and possible etched it unto a board you carry with you as you journey. You follow the trail as directed by your map, you take each day at a time, you encounter all kinds of hazards and eventualities on the road, you meet a few other travelers, you exchange values and notes. You are making progress, you are persistent, and after what seems like a gazillion miles, you arrive at a certain city, bustling with so much exuberance and the people  there bounced with enthusiasm and optimism. You thought to yourself that perhaps you would camp there a while and then get on your journey, then you realized how you loved this place, somehow everything seemed fine and perfect and in place. You fit in like a cut out rock in the temple walls in Jerusalem. You thought that perhaps, it wouldn’t be so bad after all if you chose to call this place home and then like a Christmas miracle, you are told not to worry your little head over nothing. You discover that this place that you have grown to love is apparently the only existing city along this route. And  that though it can be spotted on the map it certainly isn’t on ground. Far from disappointed, you are overwhelmed with joy, that even though it isn’t like you painted it, you are happy just being there. These sort of adventures will happen many times throughout your life journey. You will have plans like school, canning your masters or your PHD, then somewhere in between, you fall crazily in love, get married and have a set of twins. You set goals to start a business, then a prospective client turns out to be a fantastic boss, you’re hired by the big guns and now you live and work abroad. It wasn’t what you intended but it fits like a glove, you are happy, satisfied, and moving along your course with contentment and joy.

Mysteries

12 Secrets Game Changers Have in Common

I will do the work, it won’t be easy, it will be worthwhile

1. They are early risers
Love and cherish your mornings. There is something deep and spiritual about honoring your mornings with some reverence, like getting out of bed early enough and having some quiet all by yourself. It helps you begin your day on a fresh slate, knowing that every new day bears its possibilities as well as its challenges. You gain clarity, you set your priorities straight knowing there is only so much you can do in one day. Above all you drink in a blessing that is new, fresh, never before seen or heard or experienced, the blessing that is a new day, created for you to decorate and garnish as you so please. Ask any successful person you know and they will tell you that there is infinite power in honoring your sunrise. By rising early and quiet, with a clear mind, and a steady spirit intentionally free of worries, you are saying to the universe, “Here I am, ready yet again, to bring in a great harvest!”

2. They allow their angels to sing
Have you ever wondered why it seems like wealthy successful people have no worries? It is because they have mastered the art of giving the spotlight to their angels rather than their demons. We each have within us two voices telling us what we must do, the one you give prominence takes preeminence and that voice soon molds your personality. Do you lean more into your problems or do you lean more into your possibilities? This is not an easy thing to do especially when nothing seems to be going as planned. However it is one of the greatest strengths of game changers. When they have an idea, they plant it in their hearts and water it daily, never minding how long it takes for it to sprout. They are patient, they allow their angels sing to them with all kinds of sweet melodies, of hope, of positive eventualities, and songs about miracles, and impossibilities becoming possible. It is how Edison got through 1,000 mistakes without quitting. He did not allow his failures to trap his mind in limbo. He let his angels sing.

3. They are willing to wrestle their demons
Letting your angels sing isn’t exactly a joy ride. You are going to have demons in pursuit, your demons. Life is about an ongoing conflict between two masters, they go by different names in different circumstances. Light and darkness, truth and lies, positive thoughts and negative thoughts. In this case, they are called, angels and demons. It is a battle, a struggle, a tale of two cities. Be willing to wrestle your demons, only never give in. That is what keeps the tough going — tough times. And they are temporary, after a while your demons drawback, to fight another day. So be persistent, never let them overpower you, if you keep it up long enough, they soon mellow and bow to the stronger force — your never relenting singing angels. One way to keep your angels a gazillion steps ahead of your demons is by maintaining ‘number one’ — the early morning ritual. Angels love the lucidity of early dawns, it gives lift to their voices with their sopranos piercing through any obstacle and cracking it into bits and pieces, making room for you to spread your wings, creating new paths for you to explore, breaking new grounds for you to conquer. Never give in. Your demons are not as strong as they seem to be.

4. They hope afresh each morning

There is no greater destination in life than to have an endlessly changing horizon — for each day to have a new and different sun. — Marc & Angel

Hope keeps soul alive. Hope is food to the gladiator fighting to stay alive because he believes one day, if he pleases the crowd long enough, he might win his freedom. Have you ever been awed by a gladiators performance? The cheering crowd and the quivering coliseum are a sign that one day he could be free so in spite of the humiliation of being a pet project and a prisoner, he chooses to stay alive, all in hope of leaving the dungeon forever. A hopeless life is a meaningless life, with no pursuits, no aspirations, no pulse, only breath. One must always dream. Even when your goal falls through the cracks, derive another. Even when your treasure map goes into flames, awaken your instincts, let you intuition take over and see what surprises await you. Never wake up and just let things be, instead wake up and be awesome. Wake up and be gorgeous. Wake up and act as though it is christmas and there are tons of presents beneath the tree with your name inscribed on each.

5. They do something everyday to propel them towards their goal
Another way to put this is, they are not wishful thinkers. They are not day dreaming and snoring their way through life, cuddling their pillow and slurring about silly visions. They are real. They wake up and they pick up the axe, the pan, the golf stick, whatever it is they do for a living. They get to work. They put in another mile and then a mile extra. They give to each day, some sweat and some tears, then they put in more sweat and more tears. They keep going in this manner, day in day out, with their eyes on the big picture. They have a desired goal in mind. It is called a harvest. And we all know that harvests don’t drop from the sky, they are brought in by men who quite simply, go to work, and get their hands dirty. If Edison had 1,000 failures, it tells you how persistent he was day in, day out, trying something new in the direction of his goal and even though it seemed like he kept failing, each failure, being a result of action, only brought him closer to his eureka.

6. They recognize that the world needs them and they act accordingly

You are enormously significant. – You are one person out of seven billion people, on one planet out of eight, in one star system out of a hundred billion, in one galaxy out of another hundred billion.  And you are enormously significant! – Marc & Angel

If you’re going to be a game changer, then you must have a big ego, you must truly believe that you’re something to even think you can make a difference in your world. And that’s always a good to place to begin. Believing that you can be anything you choose to be and at any time or place or time. Its up to you. There are no special people only everyday people who have taken the courage to scribble the word special before their names. The minute you begin to realize that indeed you are special, you will move mountains, literally. Your mind opens up to all kinds of possibilities because you suddenly believe you can fly. And since you are special, it means there is something unique about you of which the world can benefit. Having this awareness will cause you to cherish your gifts and your talents, and it will make you want to invest precious time in developing these talents, so that your service is impeccable and memorable for all time.

7. They are genuinely concerned about the people they serve
It is not about you. Yes, you may get pretty comfortable in the end but this whole business isn’t all about you. It is for the greater good. For the good of mankind. Ever heard people say, that the fastest way to make money is to create better solutions for everyday problems. Little wonder food always sells, and power, and internet services in 3rd world countries, and mobile devices. Your rare talents are indeed gifts. They are what make you special and stand out in the world. They are what make you shine. They give you your luster among the stars. Gifts however are meant to be shared and not meant for you to keep away, or stored up to be eaten by moth. Successful people are genuinely concerned about their customers, audiences, subscribers and patrons. It’s always been about people and it always will. Keep improving. Keep seeking new ways to provide better solutions to the people you serve and do it with soul. Greed can only take you so far, but selflessness will continue to payoff long after you’ve left the scene.

8. They Maximize every second spent
Every second pays off. Game changers do not waste time. I read something recently, something that made me laugh silly and feel terribly sorry for myself at the same time. It said, “Ever wondered why you never see a commercial on Lamborghini cars? It’s because the people who can afford them are not sitting around watching TV.” In a generation only a few tabs away from going completely berserk with invention and creation, especially the invention and creation of entertainment, this may be a hard pill to swallow. However, there are people who have made significant impact in our world and they take their time seriously so that no second is unaccounted for, even when they play. This is going to shock you; would you believe, if I told you that the great Oprah Winfrey  never watches TV? Well she doesn’t. Google it! If the great TV content guru isn’t sitting around watching TV, then some of us have a long way to go. Then again it goes to say, that it must take some very serious commitment to ‘number 5’ for anyone to eliminate TV time. Also realize that anything that sucks up your attention and energy, like TV, is only sabotaging a significant amount of your precious 24 hours. I’m personally putting into practice the habit of placing my ‘number 5’ before any lousy indulgence.

9. They stay focused
Distractions can become a spice of life and less of a pain in the ass when you master how to hold the image of your big picture. Its like playing cards, you may deal a ton of cards and be dealt another ton in return but you never lose sight of your Aces. They are your game changers. Or like playing chess; ever watched two pros play chess before, the concentration is intense and the moves are few but intentional and deliberate. Whatever happens, your king must be kept safe from the opponent. Life can be likened to chess, your attention is your most treasured weapon. Let nothing but your target get your precious attention. Remember also, that energy flows where attention goes. Your attention is meant for making milestones and hitting a bull’s-eye. Be sure to have your focus stayed on your target at all times.

10. They make a mental note of every season in their lives
Game changers in someway, are historians. As part of their journey, they keep records, detailing every milestone that made a difference in their lives. They keep a notebook, a diary or a journal of some sort where they write down their big ideas, as well as their hopes and their conquests through life. We are able to read about the beautiful story of Anne Frank today because of the journal she kept during the war. Write down your goals, note down your mistakes, blunders and your genius discoveries. You don’t have to be a writer to keep a journal, and journals aren’t solely for heartbreaks and vendettas either. They are a place for storing your thoughts, your memories, your growth as you evolve through time. See it as a means for storing up delightful and adventurous stories of your life for the days ahead, like a road map. As a matter of fact, the journal benefits you the writer more than anyone else, because it serves as a compass for you on the days you feel lost or after you’ve taken a blow in major crises. Our experiences and our victories become to us a light and a compass when sometimes we find ourselves in the great maze of uncertainties.

11. They travel light
I first learned what it meant to travel light from my dad, rest his soul. He always placed emphasis on taking only what was needed for a trip. Likewise, on the journey that is the most important to you — the journey of your life — traveling light is essentially key. You will need your compass; your intuition, you will need your dose of inspiration, self-motivation and self-confidence among others, you will need your attention, your morning ritual, your singing angels, some soul and of course your blue print; the big picture. Anything else aside from these will be extra luggage, like guilt, regret, hate, self-pity, greed, arrogance, fear of the unknown to mention a few. Take your essentials, everything else is pretty much immaterial. Keep all your concerns to the minimal, even in your physical environment, make conscious effort to take out what’s in the way of your progress and your intentions. Too many junk at home have been proven to mentally clutter our minds with unwanted baggage. Free your living spaces and free your thought processes then welcome new horizons. There is too much good ahead to risk staying stuck in a hodgepodge of antiques.

12. They are night owls
I once read a romantic line that said, “Love, like a good cup of coffee, keeps you awake all night.” True that. If you have ever been in love, you will agree. Falling in love can be so consuming and enthralling, you lose count of time, musing, reminiscing, fantasizing, and desiring oneness. You are carried away writing poems and love letters or snuggled up in bed with your phone to your ears. It is the same with having dreams, a big idea or a goal. It feels like being high on something and you cannot sleep at night until you can place your actions on the same page with your blueprint. Until you can efficiently communicate your message to your audience. Until you have gotten it right for one day. Until you are fully satisfied, however vaguely, that you’ve had a connection with your one true love. You remain wide eyed long after everyone goes to bed and you are up first, long before the break of day. That’s the power of love. It goes to say, that one must fall in love with their dream. Sweet love that intoxicates the mind and drives the soul beyond the lengths until your image transmutes from a mere thought into tangible substance.

O_Magazine_cover

 

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right

Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you are right – Henry Ford

There is really no over emphasizing the fact that you are what you think about. If you are the kind that keeps saying to herself, ‘”people like us are not as lucky… ” or  “I know myself, if I try it, it won’t work… ” Oh, it wont work all right. Take a look at your life, and if you are sincere with yourself, you will see that everything you see is exactly as you have expected it to be.  Are you familiar with the phrase, “Didn’t I say so?” or ” what did I say before we got here?” or “I told you we would be asked to leave… ” And truly, you were spotted and bounced at the party like search dogs would sniff out cocaine.

Perhaps that  would serve as a perfect illustration for how our thoughts play out and how our outcomes sniff us out and take hold of us, just like the search dog. When you think you can’t, automatically, every difficulty known to man haunts you down and overwhelms you till you quit. When you think you can, no obstacle is big enough to stop you and each time, opportunity will sniff you out to help you to the next leave. So whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you attract the equivalent.

Its like throwing a soccer ball into the air and expecting a basket ball to drop back into your hands. Nope, that’s not the way it works, you get back what you put in and with cascading effects. The power of thought is so potent that a simple thought can have enormous impact on your life. A thought as simple as “I’m a failure” said with deep emotions of regret and heavy with disappointment, can attract to you a series of life events that shake you so hard, you are at the brink of losing your mind.

On the other hand, a thought as simple as “I’m the best” emotionalized during a very high season of your life will attract to you tons of happy outcomes, happening in sequence as though a door of fortune was opened unto you. Our emotions bear enormous power, they charge our thoughts with the equivalent energy it needs to produce results. They are like the honey to bees, like fireflies to light. Be careful what you think you are, especially at times when you are lowest in spirit. Don’t call to yourself anything you won’t be pleased to live with. Like dumb, stupid, failure, loser.

It is not our feelings that create our thoughts, its our thoughts that create our feelings. If you fell and hit your knee hard against a rough surface and it bled, during the scramble to get your car keys, and be on your way to pick up a check of a hundred thousand (choose your currency), would you suddenly slump and begin to cry “boohoo, I hurt my knee, Look its bleeding. Please don’t speak to me about any stupid check, I’m in a low state right now, my feelings are hurt… ” Of course not, you will spring back  to your feet and race for that check, cash it and bank it, and chances are you would have gone through the entire day before you realized that you hurt your knee when you fell.

Why didn’t you get sad and depressed when you fell? It’s because your thoughts were happy and jubilant thoughts, you’d just won a jack pot. Now imagine the opposite, imagine you get a mail, that you were being queried and that your job was on the line, and that you were needed at an executive meeting to explain yourself, and out of anxiety you race for your keys, and in the process you miss a step and tumble down the stairs and hurt your ankle. What will be your reaction? Easy isn’t it, you will feel a lot of pain, you will swear and curse and of course cry and you will anticipate the worse of the current situation.

You will probably miss the said meeting especially if your car decides not to start and by the time you arrive, limping and looking miserable, it would be too late, the meeting would be over and your boss tells you how your attitude to issues is appalling and that the board has agreed to let you go.

Now these are two very peculiar situations likable to happen to anyone. And you are probably saying to yourself, well, shit happens and either of the two couldn’t have thought otherwise. Maybe yes, maybe not. Let’s look at the second scenario again, say, you hear the news and before reacting, like running to get your car keys and make it early to the meeting, say you take a breath and think of the whole situation for a moment, just a second, to pull yourself together. You say quite simply, “this can only get better” and then proceed to get the keys, even if you eventually fall and hurt your ankle, and your car wouldn’t start, and you make it late, and you lose the job all the same, I can bet that you would be in a better state of mind to face what’s ahead than the one who let fear take the center stage.

Whatever happens to us, at whatever stage in our lives, we have the power to control what we think and what we expect. We are indeed powerful beyond measure, if only we will take the time to gather our power together and begin to harness our thoughts, and like search dogs, order them to bring to us exactly what we want to see in our lives.

Most times however we are lazy and let anything and everything travel through our minds like an unguarded path, haunted every now and then by robbers, and thieves and buglers. Negative thinking is mostly the byproduct of lazy thinking. It doesn’t take anything to think negative, it is the easiest thing to do.

However thinking positive and expecting positive results in our lives, takes discipline to harness its power, with persistence and consistent commitment. If you forget everything you’ve read, remember this, whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.

Courage

14 different ways to make your dreams come true

There is no shortage of dreamers, only a shortage of people doing what it takes to make their dreams come true.

1.    Reconnect with your true self and your inner genius:

It is easy to lose sight of who you are after going through a very tough process. I remember being in a near fatal accident in 2008 on my way back to Lagos from Kano. I managed to escape with only a few bruises. I was still terrified by images of the somersaulting bus and everything when, that same night, only a few miles from home, I was mugged and everything I had on me was taken away by two street thugs. A few weeks after, a relationship I believed so much in, fell apart. The accident and the cascading events that followed, shook me so bad, for many months I was a shadow of myself. I would stare blankly into nothing, still in shock over everything that happened to me, things I’d previously only read about in books, about being dumped, about motor accidents and muggers. For a long time I was traumatized. It was almost impossible for me to expect or believe any good about myself. When tragedies hit you, your confusion paints a sudden and false image about who you are and your reality. You don’t have to accept it. You can change it. Deep within you, you know your true self. She is not lost, she’s only hidden beneath the avalanche of circumstances. There are so many voices jabbing away inside your head, you cannot begin to hear yours. You feel lost and the only way to find yourself again is to take away those layers, one at a time. This could be a slow process, of finding your quiet again and getting centered and regaining focus. A slow conscious process of letting go, letting all the weights roll off your back or simply shaking them off. It’s okay to feel a little lost after being rattled by all kinds of experiences, so long as you make the effort to get back to center. Reconnect with your inner genius.

2.    Take a leap of faith:

They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.  ~Confucius

Physically as humans, we change daily and so does our minds, and our souls. We are in constant transition and transformation. We are becoming the image that we believe the most — the ultimate picture of what success means to us. We may not shed off feathers or skin as vividly as animals do, but we are changing and we change daily. We tend to accept physical change easier than our inner growth. In fact we mostly neglect out inner growth and focus more on how we look on the outside. So we try to enhance outward beauty and clutter our spaces with stuff. Change is not a bad thing. Change is pleasant even though it can be painful and distressing at times. Accept your little moments of transformation, and dare to be better than you were yesterday. It is that stretch you make, between where you were yesterday and where you could be tomorrow, that becomes the leap of faith. Continue to take that leap and your dreams will equally leap a step closer. Faith is having confidence in what we hope for, and even though we do not physically see it, we are certain it will happen. Keep taking those leaps.

By leaving behind your old self & taking a leap of faith into the unknown, you find out what you are truly capable of becoming.

3.    Stop building walls, start building bridges:

You are a victim of the rules and beliefs you live by.

A wise saying goes, you are confined only by the walls you build yourself. They are your limiting beliefs, they are those sour, sad, unpleasant images hanging all around you, saying to you, “This is how far you get, go no further. There is nothing for you on the other side. This where it all ends for you.” The sad part is you believe those images, and you believe them because you keep reinforcing them with new ones. Every time something doesn’t work out, you go to your wall of famous defeats and hang up a new trophy of failure and you don’t attempt to give life another try. Be determined to pull down those walls that limit you and begin to build bridges into your beautiful unknown. Take your risks and let those images of failure become the granite floors you will tread upon as you pursue your dreams. Never turn your back on life, whatever happens, good or bad, use it as building material for your bridge and move on right ahead. Let every experience you encounter create for you a network of bridges that lead you to your desired destination.

4.    Trust yourself:

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. – Golda Meir

Stop thinking too much about the steps you are about to take that you end up doing nothing about your life. You flounder because you are not sure the next step  you are about to take is the correct step. Follow your heart, trust your intuition, it’s not always going to be right or genius; but how else can you sharpen your senses if you don’t utilize them? The more you trust your gut, the more correct instructions it would give you. Spend more time doing something about your life than you spend speculating about it. If you don’t trust yourself, there isn’t a chance you will trust even the most reliable sources, or even the wisest of suggestions and advices when they come along. So stop stalling, stop guessing, stop asking too many questions that lead you no way and start doing, start trusting and start acting. The more you trust yourself, the sharper your intuition, and the wiser you become and the happier you will be to live with yourself. Only a centered person can make their dreams come true.

5.    By all means mean what you say:

I try to mean every word I say when I write because what I say in my writing today, is a reflection of who I am now, whilst what I say tomorrow will be a reflection of who I have become. My words are the chronicles of my metamorphosis. A collage of my beautiful imperfections. A tapestry of my life’s revelations as they unfold. Be true to yourself and mean what you say, every word of it. Being true in your conversations will strengthen your values and beliefs and make you more of a reliable source and less a coward. Learn the art of interpreting your true essence and your value systems through the things you talk about, let the image people see of you be the one you have crafted, not a counterfeit. Let it be the person that you are inside and the person that you are becoming. Don’t say one thing and be another. Don’t say something that is in total disagreement with your beliefs simply because it is trending. Stay true to who you are, it is the only way to begin to dream, by letting your true voice be heard.

6.    Forget what you’ve lost and focus on what you’ve learned:

You probably have had great opportunities, that you squandered and misused. You feel terrible about it and most of the time you are depressed because you can’t stop thinking of the great things you could have achieved if only you hadn’t been such an idiot. You feel stupid, silly, foolish. That’s okay. We all do. Every single one of us can tell a sordid story of how we messed things up at some time in our lives. It is the difference between successful people and the ugly has-been. Successful people learn from their mistakes, depressed, dull people can’t stop thinking about what they’ve lost and how sorry they are that they lost a great opportunity in the past. Choosing to learn from experience strengthens you and pushes you a rung higher on the ladder of life. It means you are not looking back or looking down, it means you have your eyes ahead, knowing how not to do things and where not to look. Life is like a big circle of events and everything that has gone around tends to come around. It’s in that second turn of events that all your hard lessons come to play, so that in the places where you stumbled, you now leap. You have grown tougher muscles and greater resilience. Your newly acquired traits now work for you because you have learned your lessons.

7.    Live in the present moment:

Don’t completely waste the season of life you are in now, simply because you want the next one to begin

Don’t be in a hurry to arrive in your tomorrow that you miss out of your today. Today is just as important to your dreams and as a matter of fact, all the time you’ve got. The future is simply a succession of several days. The quality of your future is the dependent on the quality invested in each day. It’s a natural human instinct to want to cram into one day what you should do in a week. It happens to us all. Wisdom comes from knowing that, that isn’t possible, instead do what you can for today and leave the rest. Put into one day what you know your strength can, then do a little extra. The laws that govern our universe always reward the extra mile. When you have done your best and your extra mile, add to both fullness of mind, body and soul. Be fully present, soak in every moment and watch your days mature into a star studded sky with fireworks and balloons. The richness of our lives is generated gradually from the fullness of time savored everyday. To be in so much hurry to begin the next phase of your life, is to escape the goodness of what today holds for you and without that piece of the puzzle, your tomorrow may not be as promising as you expect. Enjoy this moment, and if it is painful circumstance, then let it sink in, lean in to your pain, be fully aware of what you are creating, in good weather and in bad weather and when that building block is fully formed and cast, set it in place and await tomorrow’s opportunity. How do you build the longest wall in the world? One brick at a time.

8.    Be thankful:

Do not take anything for granted, not one smile or one person or one rainbow, or one breath, or one night in your cozy bed.  
~Terri Guillemet

In all things, give thanks for there is good in any situation. A life of gratitude is a life that recognizes that even the worst days of our lives have some virtue in them. Recognizing this and seeking out things to be thankful for everyday puts you in a position of strength and gives you power over the worst of conditions. An attitude of gratitude shifts your focus from the negative and places it on the positive happenings around you. Gratitude is the open door to abundance. Begin to note down at least 3 or 5 things to be thankful for at the end of everyday. Make this a habit and you’ll discover that even on the gloomiest days you will find yourself going to bed lighter and happier. You can never go wrong with gratitude, they are like tiny drops of water that make an ocean. Being thankful for the small seemingly insignificant things opens doors for the bigger things. When you have a set of written goals you want to achieve, having an attitude of gratitude sets into process the laws of attraction in your favor and more and more of the good stuff you expect begin to happen for you. I’ll like to share with you a note on gratitude I’ve had for sometime now:

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life, it turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into clarity, problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

It’s not happiness that makes us thankful, but thankfulness that makes us happy. – Marc & Angel

9.    Have a positive self-image:

You can’t do what’s right while you’re telling yourself the wrong things

You must have heard it said many times; you cannot outperform your self-belief and perception of yourself. If you think you can, you can, if you think you can’t, you can’t. A good book to read for more information on negative thinking, is ‘As a man thinketh’ by James Allen. You can have the biggest dreams and the brightest of ideas and you still will not so much as scratch the surface if you don’t think much of yourself and what you can achieve. Anyone can have a big dream but not many think they can achieve their dreams, that is why only a handful of the multitude are truly successful. Another book to look out for is ‘Think and Grow Rich’ by Napoleon Hill. Having a dream is only one side of the coin, believing that you can and letting nothing crush that believe is another ball game all the together. You can be anything you want to be, the key is to realize this and decide that following your dreams can only bring you one thing – true fulfillment. Believe you can and reinforce that belief daily.

10.    Take your chances:

In the end we regret the chances we didn’t take. We wish we took that exam or went back to school. We wish we had accepted the promotion that was going to take us to a new city, we wish had the baby, went on the road trip, loved more, made that call, we wish we walked away when we could. Why do we hide? It is because we are afraid, we are afraid of making mistakes and most times when we’ve made a mistake instead of taking a chance, a step of hope ahead, we make a more dreaded mistake and our lives begin to spiral further into the darkness. We are too afraid to fail so we hide and watch our dreams wither away. You have to take a chance on your dreams, take a chance on hope and trust that even if you fail, you would have at least conquered your fear. A life spent making mistakes is not only more enjoyable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. Take as many chances as you can. The Law of Probability tells us that, if you take enough chances in the direction of your dream, you will eventually hit a bulls eye. The key is to keep taking those chances.

11.    Pave your own unique path:

With great dreams come great responsibilities and part of that responsibility is you being original. You must recognize that, just like stars, we all have our own place in the sky, and we shine differently. What will make you stand out in the world is the very thing that only you is capable of creating. It doesn’t matter how many people are doing the very same thing, the magic you bring is the difference you make and that magic is found in your interpretation of life. Decide to bring your flavor into the mix all the time, not by being overbearing but with your own little contribution. Why do does it seem like everyone who makes it big has a magic touch, well, its because they do have a magic touch and its not just them, you do too. Everyone does, you only have to discover your style, and your method and it doesn’t have to be bizarre for it to be unique, you only have to trust it and love it when you discover what it is. Don’t try to be anyone else but yourself.

12.    Stop wasting your time:

You spend your most productive moments trying to make someone love you, or you spend the entire week talking cheap about other people, what they are not doing right, what they could do better, how the last thing they did was such a downer. You are out most of the time cruising around town and catching fun, in the name of life-is-too-short, for that reason you are having a girls night out every night and yet you are going to be famous one day. You are so certain of this because when you were much younger, you were known for having such a big talent. Stop wasting your time and wake up. Nothing big happens without handwork. Stop believing that crap that someday, whatever will be, will be, the angels have got your back. If you don’t put it in, you can’t get it out, period. So stop wasting your time and get busy. Read up about your profession, follow those who have gone ahead of you, have a set of written goals, have a plan and you’ll do just fine.

13.    Never forget how special you are:

You are one in a million. You have something to offer. There is someone out there waiting for you to awaken so that they too can find themselves. People always need someone to lead them, someone to tell them they can, someone to show them how. And all of our lives we are either of such people, we are either leading or are being led. While you’re looking up to those who inspire you, others are also looking to you for inspiration. You are a beacon to someone or some place. You can make a difference in the very place you find yourself. You are the answer to someone’s questions, you carry the balm that will heal some, a relief to many who are hurting. You are special, believe that you are, it is a good place to start. Your life will begin to change the moment you come to that awareness.

14.    Keep moving forward:

Anyone can feel overwhelmed and give up; it takes a wise person to take compassionate, persistent and committed action every day. – Marc & Angel

This whole dream-come-true business is a daily thing. Let your eyes look straight ahead. When you fall down, the next thing to do is to get up right back again and continue running. If you feel weighed down, take a moment and check yourself, you may be dragging a few weights around, let them go. Anger, pettiness, grudges and lies, will weigh you down and suck out all the energy you need to keep going. There would be slow days, days you will feel you are not doing your best, that’s fine, so long as you keep on the path. Then there will be the days when your energy is at its peak and you can almost feel yourself leap into the air and fly. They are the ups and the downs, and they are normal when chasing your dreams, only never give up. Only those who keep moving forward arrive at the finish.

You can try any of these steps and your life will change. There is a magic attached to intentional learning, what it does is that, the moment you adopt one principle and begin to make it work for you, you automatically embrace the other principles. The reason is this, no one principle exists in isolation, they are all connected. So start anywhere, begin with the one that speaks directly to you and your life will begin to change. You will find that making your dreams come true is not some strange business, that is isolated from the life you already live, the one is linked to the other.

Dreams

 

If you’ve been inspired in any way by this post, kindly share your thoughts in the comment section. If you will like to also share, privately, what you are learning, or have any questions, shoot me an email — citygirl_muse@yahoo.com. XOXO

DECIDE TO SHOW UP

“There are women who make things better… simply by showing up. There are women who make things happen. There are women who make their way. There are women who make a difference. And women who make us smile. There are women of wit and wisdom who — through strength and courage — make it through. There are women who change the world everyday… Women like you.” ― Ashley Rice

 

There are days when I’m not my best self. Say I’m out with friends or family, I’m supposed to be having fun but I’m mostly preoccupied with a nudging feeling whispering in my head, “Today would have been better assuming that conversation hadn’t ended sour.” “Oh this moment would have been more exciting assuming that deal had gone through.” “Oh, my weekend could have been better assuming that transaction hadn’t truncated.”

And it goes on and on and on. I give one excuse after another why I can’t be my best self. Why the today is going to end gloomy even when it begun well. I tell myself every lie possible to keep my mind locked in that sad, depressed state. Then no matter what happens, the day can only get as much energy as I pump into it, whether it is in what ifs, or regrets, it would be ultimately cheerless.

 

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude, toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.”

― Brian Tracy

 

Then there are other days when I’ve had the lamest of conversations and experienced the lamest of encounters and still face the remaining part of the day with all the gusto I can muster and be my best self. I quickly remind myself that the best parts of my journey are those down turns and groggy bends; they are those times when I muster my deepest strengths and bring on my mojo to influence whatever decisions I would be making when I get myself back. I am reminded to bring my charm every time and everyday. I learn to laugh at myself with every bluff I make and I’m quick to teach this lesson to those around me. That they too can learn to embrace themselves when they fail and pick themselves up when they fall. The moment I can bring myself into that space, and tell myself it was time I tried another trick in the book, I am quickly revived as I begin to create new paths toward achieving my desired outcomes. I am reminded that indeed the best parts of my journey are not the destination but the journey itself.

 

“The journey is what brings us happiness not the destination.”

― Dan Millman

 

Learning to show up each day isn’t exactly the easiest thing to do, our minds are mostly set in dysfunctional patterns, however once you can make it a habit to show up strong and be your best self each day, you would have found the easiest path to being happy. You may be wondering, how does a girl begin to decide to show up everyday of her life? (Her sometimes horrendously busy and dramatic life!!) I’ll share a few clues:

 

“I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances, Be more active, Show up more often.”

― Brian Tracy

 

Always begin your day on a positive note. I learned recently that there is no such thing as waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Right side, left side or middle, fall off a double-decker if you like, you still get to make a choice about how you want your day to go. You set the motion for the day, you bring the energy to every activity, you bring the light to each moment. It is up to you to decide, it is up to you to show up; so what’s it gonna be?

 

“Never complain, never explain. Resist the temptation to defend yourself or make excuses.”

― Brian Tracy

 

Always take responsibly for your actions. As humans, our society has preprogramed us to react to almost everything that happens in our lives, in the lives of others, the world at large, etc. We are either blaming, defending, judging or giving excuses. It’s definitely not going to be easy-peazy but knowing that every event can either be a lesson or a reward is perhaps one of the greatest lessons you’d learn.

 

“It doesn’t matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going.”

― Brian Tracy

 

Try not to focus on how many times you have fallen short on how many times you blundered. If you woke up grumpy and complaining about everything else, stop yourself the moment you realize it and begin afresh on a new page. Give your day a title if you must, like a movie you are watching and are having a good laugh or like a booking you are reading and are enjoying immemsely in the most quiet corner of your mind. Whatever you do, always remember to start over whenever you fail ’cause you would and often. Failure can be a good thing too.

 

“We learn from failure, not from success!”

― Bram Stoker

 

Always have a day plan. A day without a plan is a day destined for catastrophe. By not having a plan, you open the door for anything and everything to crowd your day. You become irritable and frustrated and you often sometimes disgust yourself. You are angry at everyone and at everything and nothing makes sense. That’s not a good place to be. So try to have a day plan. A day at a time is always a good place to start and one item on your to-do-list is not a bad idea. Achieving that single piece of command on your list can be a major victory and one giant step toward improving your self-esteem.

 

“You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.”

― Colette

 

Be true to yourself. Be kind too. Be open minded; to corrections and to new tricks. Stay positive and have faith that it will all work out in the end. One good day after another, and in that sequence, amounts to one good future, one good life well lived. So whatever you choose to do each day as you decide to show up in life, remember that you will do some foolish things, but that shouldn’t bother you, so long as you do them with enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is important because it leads to being happy, purposeful and focused. Enthusiasm is also a significant key to success.

 

Finally what ever happens ——->>>>>>>>>>>>

 

>>>>>>>>> “Never, never, never give in!”

― Winston Churchill

 

xoxo