forgiveness

The trickster and his 99 days Part 10

The Day of Triumph


 

Junior’s heart had barely recuperated when he got news that Big his brother was heading his way with four hundred men. His heart sank at the news. His heart beat racing a thousand miles per second. Soon to burst within him; anytime from now and pieces of his heart would gag him.

How much of this trauma can any human bear? Who looses his family and all his life’s possessions in one day? Who runs for his life with his twin brother in pursuit? It only had to him – Junior!

It was time to pay his debts. The music was here and so was his funeral. Time to pay back what was stolen. Junior was distraught. He split his family into groups, and sent each batch of caravan ahead of the other so that one group had room to escape if the other was attacked.

It was the final trick left in his hat. The last joker card. Junior was done. And for all the tricks left in the world that could possible come to his aid, Junior knew that Big could avenge the stolen birthright in one breath. He knew he could loose all he had with one snap of the finger. This time he admitted to the fact that his heart couldn’t take it. He had come to the end of himself. He had come to the end of the road called trickster. It was time to cry for help.

So alone and afraid, dejected and burdened. Junior cried out to the Samaritan who accompanies us all on our journeys. The one who comes in when you shut out the rest of the world. The one who always knows what you should do when you get to that bridge.

“I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown me…save me I pray, from the hand of my brother…”

And when God showed up that night, Junior clung to him and wrestled with him, refusing to let him go until he blessed him. Until he rescued him from the fury of his twin brother Big.

That night would be the longest night of his life. A night when the deed that was done, but couldn’t be undone, was forgiven. The night of crossroads where the errors of the past were pardoned. A night when what was lost was restored. And even though Junior emerged limping on one foot, it wasn’t because he had been defeated, rather it was because he had triumphed over his fears and conquered.

Limping but reassured, Junior stepped out of the darkness into the light and into the waiting arms of his twin brother Big. The feud was settled. Fear had given way for love and even though destinies prevailed, forgiveness also prevailed.

Life isn’t only about the journey; it is also about our lives. How we are changing and who we are becoming. What we don’t let go and what we forgive. Ultimately it is about the unseen escort that comes along with us, uninvited but always present; the Good Samaritan. How much of our attention we give him is what majorly determines our outcomes.

Junior and Big will many days later, bury their old father. The twins and their families both grew into two great nations. Junior’s however would become one of the greatest and most blessed people on the face of the earth.

 

The End.

True Freedom

When we rid ourselves of all excuses
When there is no cause for apologies
When the needs of others take precedence
When there is absolutely no basis for complain
When we accept responsibility with grace
When we embrace our differences with compassion
When we become truly selfless and devoted to caring
Then would we have discovered the path to true freedom

What is forgiveness?

Is it when it no longer hurts or
Is it after we are even?
Is it when we let go or
Is it after we blowout?
Is it when the debt is paid or
Is it after we pay back?
Is it when we forget or
Is after we almost never remember?
Is it when we apologize or
Is it after we beg forgiveness?
Is it when our apology is accepted or
Is it after we are forgiven?

My bad

I shouldn’t have said what I said
I didn’t mean to hurt you
I shouldn’t have done what I did
I wish it could all go away
I didn’t want to but I did anyway
I was going to surprise you
I was going to call afterwards
I never meant for it to end this way
I should have told you the truth
I should have known
I should have seen this coming
I could have stopped this from happening
I am better than this
I expected more from you
I was carried away
I was too soft, too kind, too gentle
I was blind
I was naive
I was the gullible one
I was too careful
I was too late
I spoke too soon
I was wrong

Bless The Past & Say Hello to Your Future

You have to make peace with your past in order to keep your present and future from becoming hopeless battles. – Mark & Angel


I spent some quality time with my mum today. Talking about the challenges I’ve had in the work environment and sharing the victimizing experiences I’d had with former work colleagues over the years. I found myself laughing as I recounted the bizarre stories, and quietly but briefly, relived a few of the demeaning and humiliating moments.

I felt sweet gratitude wash over me as I shared these incidences because somehow it was hard to believe that I actually did survive them. I felt immensely thankful that they would now forever remain in my past.

I also felt hopeful about the future, knowing that the lessons I’ve learnt can only bring me good and gracious rewards. Just hearing myself laugh as I related these stories of meanness gave me a sense of contentment and tranquility that meant I was at peace with that part of my past.

Another thing that was so comforting during the conversation with my mum was hearing her share about her own sordid experiences in the work place. Many years ago as a young military corporal, and practicing Dental nurse, she had the devil for a boss.

She told me about the unrelenting sexual harassment and unwarranted punishments she had to endure and eventually, foregoing a promising career was the only way to end the continuing coercion.

Years later, she would later to be told by friends and former colleagues, about how the said officer was paid back in his own coin and severely too by time and chance. At the time, she had regained back her profession, and had had many more promising opportunities, some of which she voluntarily relinquished because she wanted to spend more time with us her children.

Today I’m reminded again, that life itself has got its own memory bank where it stores our dos and don’ts and then processes our wages alike. In due time it will give to each of us a corresponding feedback. Everyone in his own coin.

In this regard, I am reminded to consider my present moments as blessings, no matter how they turns out, because I know one day they would be my past. I am reminded also to bless the hardest and toughest of memories and to never hold on to pain, rather release them completely.

My mum also shared about another very disturbing encounter of victimization which she suffered from the hands of two female instructors at the Army Training School in Ojo cantonment, Lagos; in the 1970s. I wasn’t born at the time.

They were both her junior in age but she never spoke back in defense nor did she act rudely in any way. She was the only girl in her class, and for some reason, these instructors decided that they would make her life a living hell. In an attempt to explain how cruel they were, mum said that the only thing that kept her going was because she was bent on becoming a dental nurse by all means. Otherwise under normal circumstances, she would have quit.

Unbeknownst to them my mum’s uncle was a LT. Colonel at the time and as a result she had the acquaintance of several officers who knew her to be his niece. Still she never for once, did she fight back. Least of all make a boast or threaten to use her connections against these female instructors.

They would finally come to this knowledge during an unfortunate encounter with a third party and senior officer who witnessed the ill treatment they rendered to my mum. It was only then that the mistreatment stopped.

Several years down the line, their paths would cross again; they met at the military hospital in Yaba. Mum was visiting an old military acquaintance who worked there as a senior nurse. The story that ensues is one of soberness and regret with tons of apologies to my mum.

That nothing truly goes unnoticed will be my solemn conclusion from these stories. Life sucks it all in into its master memory board and each one of us must tread carefully as each step is a written code in that drive.

How about me and you? We too have also played our sordid roles one way or the other; somehow we have hurt others, mistreated another and betrayed some. Though the memories remain in the past, even so that past too should be blessed and released.

Today as you reminisce upon your own toughest and most engraving encounters, remember to bless them and release them, so that you can embrace the future. Life is too short to hold on to pain and too brief to hold back from liberation.


 

Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clearer vision – Mark & Angel

Bless the past

Forgiveness, as told by a movie

The ills we forgive only make us stronger. I’ve just finished watching a movie titled Need for Speed  about fast cars, money, personal vendetta, with love in the mix of course. Anyways I will learn yet again that when we forgive we grow stronger, our hurt suddenly ceases and we immediately grow wings that lift us high and above the darkness that held us down and takes us far away from being trapped by it again. Forgiveness is powerful, as Tobey Marshall, raced for the finish line, with clearly no one to contend with, and seeing Dino trapped, in a car turned over and on fire, he is immediately reminded of the death of his dearest friend Pete, and in that moment Tobey makes a call that is hardest and fearless at the same time. He turns the wheels around and goes to rescue the enemy, the murderer of his friend, and the betrayer and lover of his ex, who happens to be the sister of the late pete.

Need for Speed

Brewing Vendetta – Dino (Dominic Cooper) far right, makes a deal with Tobey, opposite left with his friends behind him.

What a twisted reality. Many would stay entangle in a tale like that, harboring pain, loss, regret, betrayal, and bitterness, and never letting go, refusing to disentangle themselves, wallowing in self pity and a reiteration of what was lost, broken, and maimed. When Tobey turned the wheels around, he made the right call, he rescued Dino from the crash, and even though he struck him hard on the face afterwards, he had done the right thing, he told a better story and had the last laugh, with forgiveness in his heart and loads of cash in his pocket. Through forgiveness, Tobey became the better man, Dino goes down and Tobey remains hero. In the end he wins the De Leon, (a mystery car race) only to discover that dreams do come true after all, even after the death of the foreteller (Pete had predicted the Tobey would win the De Leon). There couldn’t have been a better ending if you ask me. He got a bunch of new fast cars, the victory, a few months in jail for violating parol and then he got the girl. A forgiven past and a new start. The future couldn’t get better than this for this race-car-loving addict. The ills we forgive only make us stronger, better, and richer.

 

[Need for Speed Starring, Aaron Paul as Tobey, Imogen Poots as Julia, Harrison Gilbertson as Pete, & Dominic Cooper as Dino]

Need for Speed - Movie

L-R Pete (Harrison Gilbertson) and Tobey (Aaron Paul)