food for thought

Everything comes around

Life in a way is like a carousel, a merry-go-round
Everything comes around,
Although it isn’t always merry in the true sense of the word
Still our circumstances are a thread of unheeded events, and unfinished businesses
And the unwanted sprouts of an unattended garden
Like a neglected wound, the pain and the resulting infection will force you to care
Like the unresolved issue that comes knocking at your door years later
It is also the beautiful reward,
Like a booming winery following the undaunted effort of grooming a vineyard
Life gives us what we put in, there are no jackpots, no lottery tickets, no shortcuts
And those who win will always begin with a mind to finish whatever comes their way
Life rewards the fearless; not the fugitive, not the deserter, or the runaway

Debutante

Anxious for vague perfection
Curious about external perception
A desire for casual compliance
The search for feigned acceptance
Concerned about lurking whispers
Enchanted by exaggerated pleasantries
Tripping to gratify luxurious tux
Rattled by devious expectations
Lost, like a pin a haystack

Goodbyes

We turn a new leaf
We ache all over from the changes we’ve embraced
We know what we must now do
We brace ourselves for what lies ahead
We move on
We have no pity, we feel no remorse
We see where the road ahead is going to bend
We know we must follow its course
We sense the struggle between two evils
We must soon let go of the other
We choose the pain of change over the pain of loss
We read the handwriting on the wall
We must now follow our dreams even if it takes us far apart
We cannot stop this river of tears
We know it is time to say goodbye

10 WEIRD HABITS OF SUCCESS GURUS WORTH LEARNING

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”― Mahatma Gandhi


1. Weird moments of solitude, staring into nothing
Have you ever tried thinking of all the bits of information that your brain has to analyze, ignore, memorize and retain? Hold that thought. Now think of these gurus and all the handwork they put into their businesses, lifestyles, relationships, managing their staff, clientele base, and the ever evolving big idea, finding a balance between them and making loads of cash at the same time. Cool. Now imagine the ginormous amount of information they have to analyze, ignore, memorize and retain? Seriously, for the success guru, silence is paramount. Moments when the mind is free from thinking and free from thinking about thinking are highly essential to anyone who’s going to make a difference in his sphere of influence. Silence will recharge your energy while your body and mind is at rest. One of the secrets of silence; finding some quiet and sitting in a complete hushed state, is that it boosts creativity. And creativity requires solitude. If you are having major blocks in your creative work as an artist or entrepreneur, or even as a stay-at-home mum, you should try silence; find a quiet spot and sit still for just 10 minutes, try it once a day everyday, and watch how the magic unfolds inner peace, clarity, creativity and self-discovery into your life.

2. Weird long hours writing and writing, stacking piles of notebooks
The journal. I think I might do a separate piece on the power of the journal soon. Perhaps next month in August. There is power in writing your thoughts, your goals, your dreams, your aspirations, your challenges and how you tackled them, your intentions and how the miracles that follow, your big idea and its exponential potential, your growth, your journey, your little victories, your gratitude. The list is endless. Only write. Great successes of history can attest to having stacks and stacks of notebooks about their dreams and then in turn, show you how those dreams have unfolded. A friend of mine, a politician and entrepreneur, who encourages me to keep writing, once said to me; whatever you do not write does not exist. Likewise, I say to you, whatever your dreams or your desires, or your hopes or your visions, even your little victories (the ones you so often ignore), unless you write them down, they do not exist. Writing down your goals among other things, gives you power. It is you reinforcing your voice, and your voice is your power. So begin today, get a notebook.

3.Weird moments of asking questions, inquiring
They are always curious. The desire to want to know, to understand, to seek out, to discover, to uncover, to find out, to grasp, to unearth, to comprehend is never ending for the one who will make it big even for the one who already has. The law of Curiosity by John C. Maxwell explains; Growth begins by asking why? Solutions come only to those who ask why? Great inventions happened to great inventors because they asked why? The secret to your success or  to greater success for you may actual lie in you becoming a complete nuisance so to speak, asking too many questions at a conference and becoming a pain in the ass. So long as you do it with the intention to learn more, know more, understand better and solve more problems. And guess what, the more problems you solve, the more success you attract. Good luck with getting more curious.

4. Weird quiet moments of observation
They have their eyes open at all times. They study everything and anything that is within the sphere of their vision. They are good at studying human behavior. They can look you over and in a moment and read you like a book. This quality gives them the edge in almost everything they do, from hiring the right staff to choosing a business partner. They read the small prints and are always reading between the lines. Nothing goes unnoticed. Therefore nothing takes them by surprise. They possess the characteristics of the lion and the lamb. They play the fool long enough to glean off as much as they need, then they crouch like the lion waiting to pounce on the next opportunity. Understand that you do no know everything and sometimes situation warrants, you learn by just watching, observing and absorbing, without speaking a single word. Make mental notes of your observations and then go back to the drawing board. Curiosity in asking why is awesome but asking in order to learn, isn’t always about speaking, it can be observing too. It pays to know what scenarios to apply either of both qualities.

5. Weird dietary routines and workout routines
They are ‘keep fit’ freaks. I guess they realize that they need to stay alive and healthy to make any difference in the world and the higher they go the more disciplined they get with what they eat, how they eat and the more concerned they are about how they look. In spite of their busy schedules they get to workout and go for frequent checkups with the doctor. Something Brian Tracy said come to mind; in life, the moment who make money, you begin to think less about money and start to spend your time doing other things that are most important. True. You begin to think about  family time more, your health and your well being and other pleasures of life. Money becomes the least of your concerns. On the contrary, if you haven’t made any money, it is all you think about.  Working out and eating right may be the last things on your to-do-list. We will do well though, to start taking our health and physical fitness a lot more serious and not wait till the time is perfect.

6. Weird obsessions about punctuality
I learned quiet recently that one can never go wrong with punctuality. It says too much about you when you’re late to an important appointment. Note the word, important. If you’re late then it probably wasn’t important after all. And worst still if the important meeting was with an important figure. I also learnt a new line of wisdom that goes thus; everything is everything. They way you do anything is the way you do everything. So you see why arriving late all the time tells so much about you. Sometimes you seem to just do things and barely think through your actions, meanwhile, someone somewhere is watching and writing a new chapter about you everyday by simply observing you and the things you do.  When people say no to you, think it through, what are they seeing? Likewise when they yes, what could you be doing right?

7. Weird simple appearances at social gatherings
My coach once said to me, when you go to a gathering, the person who is overly dressed is probably the poorest person in the room. Appearance is everything. This doesn’t mean you go everywhere looking anyhow and untidy. Sometimes people feel that caring less about their appearance is part of humility or it is their way of saying to the world, ‘I have better things on my mind’. Not a good idea. Appearance speaks volumes. And as humans we are usually ruthless with the rule called first impression. We can glance an individual over and decide what or how to feel about that person without even hearing them speak in the first instance. And our perception about that person is immediately colored forever by that initial judgement. The key is too always look good, look your best but don’t over do it. Over doing it is a hint on low self-esteem. Be big on the inside. Be confident and be awesome and you will be just fine. Most times, what is usually perceived is your aura not the clothing. When you have a strong positive aura, the clothing becomes of less importance.

8. Weird intense concentration when listening to anything
You can be talking trash and have the full attention of the big guns. It only means you will never fool them into bearing your company again. They listen to every thing said and unsaid. They are concerned more about what you are not saying with your mouth; what your body language seems to be bawling. Now imagine if you were talking sense, and you had the full hearing of the senator. Be sure to get invited for dinner, or expect a phone call from his secretary. Even if you don’t know what the hell you where saying , you must have said something right. Another trick is to keep silent if you have nothing to say. Silence is powerful and it takes a lot of character to stay quiet in a rowdy conversation where everyone seems to have something to say. Your silence soon presents you with an open mic and a platform in no time. Apart from loving wise words bold presentations, successful folks also know how to spot the quiet one who has chosen to remain confident in his non-vocal state.

9. Weird moments of silence when having a conversation, and fewer words
When speaking to someone of great importance, and he or she tends to respond with long moments of silence, don’t get uncomfortable and fill in all the gaps with gibberish. Just be silent in return. Especially if you have noting to say. Your quiet steadiness will, more often than not, pass off as confidence rather than stupid. Trying to fill in the gaps of silence will indicate restlessness or insecurity and a low self-esteem. Be still in your skin and you will be respected for surviving the steady gaze of the observing guru. Make it your turn to learn through observation as well. And when asked a question, try to make your responses as brief and detailed as you can. Remember to be honest too. You never know what they know. Don’t shoot yourself in the leg.

10. Weird humongous collection of books, always reading and reading
They never stop learning. Period. The moment you begin to think you have arrived you begin to diminish in value. Knowledge is inexhaustible and so is wisdom. There can never be enough of both. Like the proverbial saying of King Solomon; Of making many books there is no end, and too much study wearies the body. Humans will always continue to learn and want more information. It is the only way we can grow. Growth on the inside is the growth that is most important. Expand your mind, expand your horizon. Choose to improve daily. Begin with a book a month and then increase your speed. What qualifies a person as wise? Wisdom. Knowing. Understanding. It comes form reading, asking why, and observing. There is some much you do not know and so much you will never learn until you pick up a book and read.

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”― Dr. Seuss

I’m often told by my coach that the secret to success is so simple, that many people pass it off as ineffective and inefficient. That is why only few people are truly successful and wealthy. Like reading books for instance, or listening to audio programs. Don’t expect your 20 something or 30 something year old minds to suddenly want to turn around and begin to read a book or workout every week. It takes persistence to teach your already set mind to begin imbibing a new way of doing things. That is where the handwork comes in — persistence.

reading

5 DISCOVERIES YOU WILL MAKE ON YOUR LIFE’S JOURNEY


A hero is born among a hundred, a wise man is found among a thousand, but an accomplished one might not be found even among a hundred thousand men. – Plato


1. There is always an extra mile, an extra push

Never think for once in your life that being mediocre has got its advantages. Maybe it does. In that case you will live a quiet meaningless life with not a single bother. You will spend most of your days a spectator, hardly a commentator because that would require a ginormous dose of gusto. But of course that isn’t in your plan. You may be thinking though, that well I am not Oprah, I cannot stand before a crowd and speak. Who says that’s what being a hero is all about? Who says it’s about trying to be someone else? Heroism is found within us. We become heroes when we realize that we matter in the world and in our own little way begin to make that impression on every soul we meet. We spread our pixie dust everywhere we go, we lift a dark cloud and leave behind some laughter, a soft touch, a big hug. We become wise when we embrace the joy of living with zest and with a niggling compulsion to be the soprano in every day’s symphony. This is a fact of life, that heroes and the wise can be spotted among a thousand. But the one who has gone the extra mile to hone her skills, and harness her innate power, is so hard to find. And isn’t it so, that the nurse in the small clinic downtown is known by her patients as one-in-a-million. And the teacher in the local school with broken windows, will always remain the favorite and most loved by her poor pupils, she is to them more than gold, a one-of-a-kind. And the single mum whose kids at Christmas would always inscribe in the card greatest-mum-ever. What is your purpose, what is your reason for being, what is your high calling? Is it to merely drift through life and bob at every opinion that wings its way through the air? Is it to be uninspired neither by sunshine or by rain? Is it to exude a lackluster vibe and be hidden from the stars above? Can you begin to discover the beauty muddled in disorder and find peace in chaos? Can you begin to make sense of your dilemmas? Can you find within you the courage, to piece together an image worthy of praise, with the fragments from your misfortune? Can you become a one-of-a-kind? Will you go that extra mile and be the one in one hundred thousand? Not the spectator.


You will learn as you get older, that the rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms and never, ever apologize for it. Mandy Hale


2. Rules are meant to be broken

Be unstoppable. Be brave. Be bold. As you evolve and your muscles toughen, you will begin to appreciate your journey more and love yourself even better. At every milestone you will realize how much you have grown, how much you have learnt and how lonely you have sojourned. You realize that indeed you have taken the road less traveled and even though it hasn’t been easy it’s been worth it. You have chosen the path that is uniquely yours and uniquely you. You have overcome the urge to trim off the very shoots that give you zing. You have embraced your quirkiness and in it you have discovered your greatest potential and now with it you will impact the world with wonder. But first you must travel this road, this rarely beaten path where the rules that exist are the ones you have chosen and designed, suitable for you and tolerable only by your quirkiness. You will learn this fact of life, first to be the unbearable pain and fear of being estranged, then later as an incredible reward; the joys of imperfections and the beauty of idiosyncrasies.


You will find your voice in so many places, it doesn’t mean you are insane, it only means that deep down, you recognize who you are and soon you will become at peace with that image. It means you are growing and are mastering your rhythm


3. You must make the effort to find yourself first, then everything else follows

As you journey through life you will see many wonders and creations that make you dance within. A line of thought, a song, a whisper. When you hear them, your heart leaps. In your search for yourself and what you love, you will meet many people, different origins and with different values yet something inside of them is recognizable to you. Something they say or do is familiar, like a faint memory, something in the way they interpret the world, aligns with something deep inside of you. In the myriad of hues, you find and choose the textures and patterns that are uniquely you and reflect your deepest desires. In the cacophony of tunes, you can single out the notes and tempos that resonate with you. In the midst of the dissonance, you find melody that only you can relate to the world. And within a jungle of views and values, from little pieces collected over time, you find rhythm, in it all there is concordance. As the puzzle assembles together, you begin to find yourself, your image is clearer, your voice is fine-tuned and your identity is certain. You have become a true citizen of the world. You have mastered your rhythm, now you can sing your song with audaciousness and grace. You have taken your place in the world.


You will learn that true love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion but on the contrary, an element calm and deep. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. – Ellen G. White


4. Your perspective about love will continue to evolve

A woman will discover love in the most awkward place, in the most unusual person, at the most unexpected time, and in the most defining moments of her life. If her life weren’t a defining moment at the time of falling in love, then finding love at the time, would certainly give it some definiteness. She would experience love in many colors, and many shades. At some point it is a roaring fire, some other time it is a ravaging beast, for some it is like the wind, never knowing where it is going or where it is coming from. For many it is a wild fire, it comes and licks up every ounce of their being. Life is saturated with tragedies and fairytale endings alike, where some have lost their senses, others have made sense of their lives, where some lose their reasoning, others found their paradise. Love is many things to different people, and overtime the wise ones among us have come to the conclusion that our perception of love is probably the last thing on the list. And time and again we will discover as we journey along, that love can be calm, and deep, like still waters running through rocky crevices. That it does after all, have eyes that can see, and it looks beyond the externals to discover emotions, gestures, motives and sensibilities within the person that is about to become lover or foe. True love is a mystery yet. One that will continually awe us for as long as the human race exists.

 


You won’t always get where you intended to go in life, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be. – Marc & Angel


5. You won’t always arrive where you intended, but it would be just fine

If truly this is a journey, then in your hands are a map, and a compass, telling you what turn to take and what bridge to follow. Your destination is new to you, you have never been there before but with the map, you know just how to get there, so you prepare and you begin your journey. You have a picture in your mind’s eye of what this utopia will look like, you have painted one and possible etched it unto a board you carry with you as you journey. You follow the trail as directed by your map, you take each day at a time, you encounter all kinds of hazards and eventualities on the road, you meet a few other travelers, you exchange values and notes. You are making progress, you are persistent, and after what seems like a gazillion miles, you arrive at a certain city, bustling with so much exuberance and the people  there bounced with enthusiasm and optimism. You thought to yourself that perhaps you would camp there a while and then get on your journey, then you realized how you loved this place, somehow everything seemed fine and perfect and in place. You fit in like a cut out rock in the temple walls in Jerusalem. You thought that perhaps, it wouldn’t be so bad after all if you chose to call this place home and then like a Christmas miracle, you are told not to worry your little head over nothing. You discover that this place that you have grown to love is apparently the only existing city along this route. And  that though it can be spotted on the map it certainly isn’t on ground. Far from disappointed, you are overwhelmed with joy, that even though it isn’t like you painted it, you are happy just being there. These sort of adventures will happen many times throughout your life journey. You will have plans like school, canning your masters or your PHD, then somewhere in between, you fall crazily in love, get married and have a set of twins. You set goals to start a business, then a prospective client turns out to be a fantastic boss, you’re hired by the big guns and now you live and work abroad. It wasn’t what you intended but it fits like a glove, you are happy, satisfied, and moving along your course with contentment and joy.

Mysteries

Stop worrying about how it all adds up, keep moving ahead

Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not.  It just takes some time to connect all the dots – Marc & Angel

The only single thing required of you to do for the rest of your life is to remain in pursuit of what makes you happy. Keep your eye on that ball. Never let it go. Hold that image. Everything else will fall in place. All kinds of hazards and problems begin to happen when you begin to take things too seriously and try to understand everything that happens to you and why they are happening. Instead of burning so much energy trying to understand what life is about, what you did wrong to get punished this way, or where you missed a step to have fallen this far and hard to the ground, rather take the time to look around and see how you can get yourself back on track.

You’ve heard the saying, you cannot cheat nature. That statement is so, so, true. Its like cheating to loose weight. You follow the rules according to the books, you diet and exercise and all, and in a few months, you are back and bigger than you once were. What happened? The answer  is simple, you cannot cheat nature. You cannot deal with the outside without dealing first with the inside. You cannot want your body to look good when you haven’t first decided to love your body enough to keep away from junk, late eating, and over eating. The weight loss has got to begin inside first, with you disciplining yourself and controlling your eating. The exercise and diet routine are only extra support to help you reach your goal faster.

It is the same thing with life, we want to get to the top but we don’t want to follow the stair way, we like the elevator, one way ticket, the freeway, no turns, no sharp bends, no snaky roads, no speed bumps. Only speed. Growth like that is premature, what you end up having are weak muscles born out of an inexperienced mind. And since the higher you go, the greater the challenges you face, your inexperience will cause you a premature collapse from your high horses. When you think you can get by with unresolved issues in your car trunk, one day the corpses will bellow so hard, you will be forced to stop and deal with it.

Just as you can’t cheat nature, you cannot cheat the laws of the universe. Whatever goes up must come down. What goes around, comes around. What you put in, is what you get out. What you sow is what you reap. You don’t want to get to your summit with too much baggage. Chances are you may never arrive in the first place, bearing that much load, you tend to crumble beneath the weight. You want to be light as a feather and solid as a rock. You want to be light enough to surmount your obstacles and solid enough to withstand the deadliest storms.

Sometimes life will draw you back a step or two, or a mile or two in the opposite direction, and you will want to fight it, don’t. Let it play out. It is only in hindsight that you will be able to connect the dots. Sometimes in life, the winds will throw you so far from what looked like your horizon, don’t go and smack your head against the wall, look around, there is a very good reason why you are here at this particular point in time. Sometimes in life the waves will rise so high and thunderously above you, and in spite of your reciting the master’s ‘peace be still’ and mustering all the faith that you got, you still would witness with your very eyes, how the waves eventually crash your titanic and send you struggling  for dear life out in the Atlantic, in the middle of nowhere.

Don’t curse God then, and wait for death. Keep believing. If you couldn’t calm the storm, perhaps you cloud try walking on water. And if that doesn’t work out either, be rest assured something will. There is a reason for every season and most of the time, all through history, heroes have only been able to make sense of their dilemmas and tragedies only after they persevered and overcame. Only after they let go and moved on. Only after they went on ahead, where they able to see from hindsight that it all worked out for good in the end. Stop worrying about how it all adds up, keep going on ahead. It all works out in the end.

 

Woman

 

 

FIND WHAT YOU LOVE AND TAME YOUR HORSE

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die life is a broken-winged bird, that cannot fly – Marc and Angel

Dreams. Isn’t that what we all live for? You see a guy working so hard, killing himself over every dollar he makes just so he can make more. If you are lucky and you get him in a corner, you’ll discover it’s all because of this girl he’s met, she’s stolen his heart, she’s said yes and they’re going to be married. Nothing else matters to him than making her happy. You think to yourself that he’s stupid, that there are better things to kill one’s self over. Really? Better things like what? How else can we rev the engines of our lives if there is nothing driving us, anything?

Believe it or not, even the cold blooded robbers or the assassins have got dreams and they too probably have the girls they love   motivating them to take more lives and break into more homes. They have the city’s law enforcement on their heels, they don’t sleep easy, they are constantly on the run, yet they wouldn’t stop, because there is something driving them. A deep strong desire to be, do and have, that nothing would deter them. My point is, What is your strong desire? I’m not interested in knowing if its love, more money or a house by the beach, my point is there  has to be something driving you. There has to be something keeping you on the move or you’re finished because if you aren’t moving forward, then you’re retreating down hill. If you’re not retreating then worse still you’re on a standstill and standstill is synonymous to extinction.

A stale life is a dead life. If there’s nothing driving you, than you must be driving something, its got to be one of the two. Take a minute and think and ask yourself, why am I here? Here as in the very spot you are while you read this post. What took you there? Where are you going from there? What is the pivot of all your movements? And to what end? Remember, movement is not the same as motion. You could be a rocking chair going nowhere. So think about this a minute; what is your life about? Why do you do the things you do? Take some time to ask yourself some serious questions, and try quitting laughing about others when they talk about what drives them, when they share their dreams or where they hope to be in the next 5 years. Stop making fun of them and calling them names, like dreamer, or joker. If they are jokers for saying something about what they hope to make of their lives, then what does that make you, seeing you probably have none of such aspirations yourself?

Maybe you once had a dream and for some reason, some very, very good reason, you stopped and gave it all up. Don’t be a quitter, quitting can’t make dreams come true, but failing can. A failure can make her dream come true if she keeps trying and never stops believing her dream can be possible. While a quitter can do nothing more but go back to base, and become another has-been. It’s okay to fail, only don’t quit.

Here is how I see it, have a dream, live every moment for the cheer reason that you want to feel life coursing through your veins, because of what you are giving and what you are adding, because of who you are making happy, because of what you love and how it makes you big inside, because of the magic you bring to every moment, because of the colors you add to the world around you.

Life gets boring and painful when every night we go to bed, there is nothing to look forward to. When there is nothing bubbling inside of us, or simmering below the surface, waiting to be birthed, or hatched, when there is no excitement, no energy, no pulse, then there is concurrently no life, no meaning, no essence. Begin believing today that your life is for a reason, a meaning only you can give it. Do not be distracted or swayed by the meanings others have made of their lives, choose to create yours, you can make major leaps in life when you ride the right horse, the one that connects with you. Not someone’s. Find what you love and tame your own horse. There is so much ground ahead awaiting you, awaiting to be conquered by you.

 

Behind me is infinite power, before me is endless possibility, around me is boundless opportunity – Mac Anderson

Cowgirl

Forgiveness, as told by a movie

The ills we forgive only make us stronger. I’ve just finished watching a movie titled Need for Speed  about fast cars, money, personal vendetta, with love in the mix of course. Anyways I will learn yet again that when we forgive we grow stronger, our hurt suddenly ceases and we immediately grow wings that lift us high and above the darkness that held us down and takes us far away from being trapped by it again. Forgiveness is powerful, as Tobey Marshall, raced for the finish line, with clearly no one to contend with, and seeing Dino trapped, in a car turned over and on fire, he is immediately reminded of the death of his dearest friend Pete, and in that moment Tobey makes a call that is hardest and fearless at the same time. He turns the wheels around and goes to rescue the enemy, the murderer of his friend, and the betrayer and lover of his ex, who happens to be the sister of the late pete.

Need for Speed

Brewing Vendetta – Dino (Dominic Cooper) far right, makes a deal with Tobey, opposite left with his friends behind him.

What a twisted reality. Many would stay entangle in a tale like that, harboring pain, loss, regret, betrayal, and bitterness, and never letting go, refusing to disentangle themselves, wallowing in self pity and a reiteration of what was lost, broken, and maimed. When Tobey turned the wheels around, he made the right call, he rescued Dino from the crash, and even though he struck him hard on the face afterwards, he had done the right thing, he told a better story and had the last laugh, with forgiveness in his heart and loads of cash in his pocket. Through forgiveness, Tobey became the better man, Dino goes down and Tobey remains hero. In the end he wins the De Leon, (a mystery car race) only to discover that dreams do come true after all, even after the death of the foreteller (Pete had predicted the Tobey would win the De Leon). There couldn’t have been a better ending if you ask me. He got a bunch of new fast cars, the victory, a few months in jail for violating parol and then he got the girl. A forgiven past and a new start. The future couldn’t get better than this for this race-car-loving addict. The ills we forgive only make us stronger, better, and richer.

 

[Need for Speed Starring, Aaron Paul as Tobey, Imogen Poots as Julia, Harrison Gilbertson as Pete, & Dominic Cooper as Dino]

Need for Speed - Movie

L-R Pete (Harrison Gilbertson) and Tobey (Aaron Paul)

The power of gratitude

A   Poem on Gratitude
Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.
It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.
GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.
Author Unknown

 

Gratitude

If you’ve been inspired in any way by this post, kindly share your thoughts in the comment section. If you will like to also share, privately, what you are learning, or have any questions, shoot me an email — citygirl_muse@yahoo.com. XOXO

14 different ways to make your dreams come true

There is no shortage of dreamers, only a shortage of people doing what it takes to make their dreams come true.

1.    Reconnect with your true self and your inner genius:

It is easy to lose sight of who you are after going through a very tough process. I remember being in a near fatal accident in 2008 on my way back to Lagos from Kano. I managed to escape with only a few bruises. I was still terrified by images of the somersaulting bus and everything when, that same night, only a few miles from home, I was mugged and everything I had on me was taken away by two street thugs. A few weeks after, a relationship I believed so much in, fell apart. The accident and the cascading events that followed, shook me so bad, for many months I was a shadow of myself. I would stare blankly into nothing, still in shock over everything that happened to me, things I’d previously only read about in books, about being dumped, about motor accidents and muggers. For a long time I was traumatized. It was almost impossible for me to expect or believe any good about myself. When tragedies hit you, your confusion paints a sudden and false image about who you are and your reality. You don’t have to accept it. You can change it. Deep within you, you know your true self. She is not lost, she’s only hidden beneath the avalanche of circumstances. There are so many voices jabbing away inside your head, you cannot begin to hear yours. You feel lost and the only way to find yourself again is to take away those layers, one at a time. This could be a slow process, of finding your quiet again and getting centered and regaining focus. A slow conscious process of letting go, letting all the weights roll off your back or simply shaking them off. It’s okay to feel a little lost after being rattled by all kinds of experiences, so long as you make the effort to get back to center. Reconnect with your inner genius.

2.    Take a leap of faith:

They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.  ~Confucius

Physically as humans, we change daily and so does our minds, and our souls. We are in constant transition and transformation. We are becoming the image that we believe the most — the ultimate picture of what success means to us. We may not shed off feathers or skin as vividly as animals do, but we are changing and we change daily. We tend to accept physical change easier than our inner growth. In fact we mostly neglect out inner growth and focus more on how we look on the outside. So we try to enhance outward beauty and clutter our spaces with stuff. Change is not a bad thing. Change is pleasant even though it can be painful and distressing at times. Accept your little moments of transformation, and dare to be better than you were yesterday. It is that stretch you make, between where you were yesterday and where you could be tomorrow, that becomes the leap of faith. Continue to take that leap and your dreams will equally leap a step closer. Faith is having confidence in what we hope for, and even though we do not physically see it, we are certain it will happen. Keep taking those leaps.

By leaving behind your old self & taking a leap of faith into the unknown, you find out what you are truly capable of becoming.

3.    Stop building walls, start building bridges:

You are a victim of the rules and beliefs you live by.

A wise saying goes, you are confined only by the walls you build yourself. They are your limiting beliefs, they are those sour, sad, unpleasant images hanging all around you, saying to you, “This is how far you get, go no further. There is nothing for you on the other side. This where it all ends for you.” The sad part is you believe those images, and you believe them because you keep reinforcing them with new ones. Every time something doesn’t work out, you go to your wall of famous defeats and hang up a new trophy of failure and you don’t attempt to give life another try. Be determined to pull down those walls that limit you and begin to build bridges into your beautiful unknown. Take your risks and let those images of failure become the granite floors you will tread upon as you pursue your dreams. Never turn your back on life, whatever happens, good or bad, use it as building material for your bridge and move on right ahead. Let every experience you encounter create for you a network of bridges that lead you to your desired destination.

4.    Trust yourself:

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. – Golda Meir

Stop thinking too much about the steps you are about to take that you end up doing nothing about your life. You flounder because you are not sure the next step  you are about to take is the correct step. Follow your heart, trust your intuition, it’s not always going to be right or genius; but how else can you sharpen your senses if you don’t utilize them? The more you trust your gut, the more correct instructions it would give you. Spend more time doing something about your life than you spend speculating about it. If you don’t trust yourself, there isn’t a chance you will trust even the most reliable sources, or even the wisest of suggestions and advices when they come along. So stop stalling, stop guessing, stop asking too many questions that lead you no way and start doing, start trusting and start acting. The more you trust yourself, the sharper your intuition, and the wiser you become and the happier you will be to live with yourself. Only a centered person can make their dreams come true.

5.    By all means mean what you say:

I try to mean every word I say when I write because what I say in my writing today, is a reflection of who I am now, whilst what I say tomorrow will be a reflection of who I have become. My words are the chronicles of my metamorphosis. A collage of my beautiful imperfections. A tapestry of my life’s revelations as they unfold. Be true to yourself and mean what you say, every word of it. Being true in your conversations will strengthen your values and beliefs and make you more of a reliable source and less a coward. Learn the art of interpreting your true essence and your value systems through the things you talk about, let the image people see of you be the one you have crafted, not a counterfeit. Let it be the person that you are inside and the person that you are becoming. Don’t say one thing and be another. Don’t say something that is in total disagreement with your beliefs simply because it is trending. Stay true to who you are, it is the only way to begin to dream, by letting your true voice be heard.

6.    Forget what you’ve lost and focus on what you’ve learned:

You probably have had great opportunities, that you squandered and misused. You feel terrible about it and most of the time you are depressed because you can’t stop thinking of the great things you could have achieved if only you hadn’t been such an idiot. You feel stupid, silly, foolish. That’s okay. We all do. Every single one of us can tell a sordid story of how we messed things up at some time in our lives. It is the difference between successful people and the ugly has-been. Successful people learn from their mistakes, depressed, dull people can’t stop thinking about what they’ve lost and how sorry they are that they lost a great opportunity in the past. Choosing to learn from experience strengthens you and pushes you a rung higher on the ladder of life. It means you are not looking back or looking down, it means you have your eyes ahead, knowing how not to do things and where not to look. Life is like a big circle of events and everything that has gone around tends to come around. It’s in that second turn of events that all your hard lessons come to play, so that in the places where you stumbled, you now leap. You have grown tougher muscles and greater resilience. Your newly acquired traits now work for you because you have learned your lessons.

7.    Live in the present moment:

Don’t completely waste the season of life you are in now, simply because you want the next one to begin

Don’t be in a hurry to arrive in your tomorrow that you miss out of your today. Today is just as important to your dreams and as a matter of fact, all the time you’ve got. The future is simply a succession of several days. The quality of your future is the dependent on the quality invested in each day. It’s a natural human instinct to want to cram into one day what you should do in a week. It happens to us all. Wisdom comes from knowing that, that isn’t possible, instead do what you can for today and leave the rest. Put into one day what you know your strength can, then do a little extra. The laws that govern our universe always reward the extra mile. When you have done your best and your extra mile, add to both fullness of mind, body and soul. Be fully present, soak in every moment and watch your days mature into a star studded sky with fireworks and balloons. The richness of our lives is generated gradually from the fullness of time savored everyday. To be in so much hurry to begin the next phase of your life, is to escape the goodness of what today holds for you and without that piece of the puzzle, your tomorrow may not be as promising as you expect. Enjoy this moment, and if it is painful circumstance, then let it sink in, lean in to your pain, be fully aware of what you are creating, in good weather and in bad weather and when that building block is fully formed and cast, set it in place and await tomorrow’s opportunity. How do you build the longest wall in the world? One brick at a time.

8.    Be thankful:

Do not take anything for granted, not one smile or one person or one rainbow, or one breath, or one night in your cozy bed.  
~Terri Guillemet

In all things, give thanks for there is good in any situation. A life of gratitude is a life that recognizes that even the worst days of our lives have some virtue in them. Recognizing this and seeking out things to be thankful for everyday puts you in a position of strength and gives you power over the worst of conditions. An attitude of gratitude shifts your focus from the negative and places it on the positive happenings around you. Gratitude is the open door to abundance. Begin to note down at least 3 or 5 things to be thankful for at the end of everyday. Make this a habit and you’ll discover that even on the gloomiest days you will find yourself going to bed lighter and happier. You can never go wrong with gratitude, they are like tiny drops of water that make an ocean. Being thankful for the small seemingly insignificant things opens doors for the bigger things. When you have a set of written goals you want to achieve, having an attitude of gratitude sets into process the laws of attraction in your favor and more and more of the good stuff you expect begin to happen for you. I’ll like to share with you a note on gratitude I’ve had for sometime now:

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life, it turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into clarity, problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

It’s not happiness that makes us thankful, but thankfulness that makes us happy. – Marc & Angel

9.    Have a positive self-image:

You can’t do what’s right while you’re telling yourself the wrong things

You must have heard it said many times; you cannot outperform your self-belief and perception of yourself. If you think you can, you can, if you think you can’t, you can’t. A good book to read for more information on negative thinking, is ‘As a man thinketh’ by James Allen. You can have the biggest dreams and the brightest of ideas and you still will not so much as scratch the surface if you don’t think much of yourself and what you can achieve. Anyone can have a big dream but not many think they can achieve their dreams, that is why only a handful of the multitude are truly successful. Another book to look out for is ‘Think and Grow Rich’ by Napoleon Hill. Having a dream is only one side of the coin, believing that you can and letting nothing crush that believe is another ball game all the together. You can be anything you want to be, the key is to realize this and decide that following your dreams can only bring you one thing – true fulfillment. Believe you can and reinforce that belief daily.

10.    Take your chances:

In the end we regret the chances we didn’t take. We wish we took that exam or went back to school. We wish we had accepted the promotion that was going to take us to a new city, we wish had the baby, went on the road trip, loved more, made that call, we wish we walked away when we could. Why do we hide? It is because we are afraid, we are afraid of making mistakes and most times when we’ve made a mistake instead of taking a chance, a step of hope ahead, we make a more dreaded mistake and our lives begin to spiral further into the darkness. We are too afraid to fail so we hide and watch our dreams wither away. You have to take a chance on your dreams, take a chance on hope and trust that even if you fail, you would have at least conquered your fear. A life spent making mistakes is not only more enjoyable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. Take as many chances as you can. The Law of Probability tells us that, if you take enough chances in the direction of your dream, you will eventually hit a bulls eye. The key is to keep taking those chances.

11.    Pave your own unique path:

With great dreams come great responsibilities and part of that responsibility is you being original. You must recognize that, just like stars, we all have our own place in the sky, and we shine differently. What will make you stand out in the world is the very thing that only you is capable of creating. It doesn’t matter how many people are doing the very same thing, the magic you bring is the difference you make and that magic is found in your interpretation of life. Decide to bring your flavor into the mix all the time, not by being overbearing but with your own little contribution. Why do does it seem like everyone who makes it big has a magic touch, well, its because they do have a magic touch and its not just them, you do too. Everyone does, you only have to discover your style, and your method and it doesn’t have to be bizarre for it to be unique, you only have to trust it and love it when you discover what it is. Don’t try to be anyone else but yourself.

12.    Stop wasting your time:

You spend your most productive moments trying to make someone love you, or you spend the entire week talking cheap about other people, what they are not doing right, what they could do better, how the last thing they did was such a downer. You are out most of the time cruising around town and catching fun, in the name of life-is-too-short, for that reason you are having a girls night out every night and yet you are going to be famous one day. You are so certain of this because when you were much younger, you were known for having such a big talent. Stop wasting your time and wake up. Nothing big happens without handwork. Stop believing that crap that someday, whatever will be, will be, the angels have got your back. If you don’t put it in, you can’t get it out, period. So stop wasting your time and get busy. Read up about your profession, follow those who have gone ahead of you, have a set of written goals, have a plan and you’ll do just fine.

13.    Never forget how special you are:

You are one in a million. You have something to offer. There is someone out there waiting for you to awaken so that they too can find themselves. People always need someone to lead them, someone to tell them they can, someone to show them how. And all of our lives we are either of such people, we are either leading or are being led. While you’re looking up to those who inspire you, others are also looking to you for inspiration. You are a beacon to someone or some place. You can make a difference in the very place you find yourself. You are the answer to someone’s questions, you carry the balm that will heal some, a relief to many who are hurting. You are special, believe that you are, it is a good place to start. Your life will begin to change the moment you come to that awareness.

14.    Keep moving forward:

Anyone can feel overwhelmed and give up; it takes a wise person to take compassionate, persistent and committed action every day. – Marc & Angel

This whole dream-come-true business is a daily thing. Let your eyes look straight ahead. When you fall down, the next thing to do is to get up right back again and continue running. If you feel weighed down, take a moment and check yourself, you may be dragging a few weights around, let them go. Anger, pettiness, grudges and lies, will weigh you down and suck out all the energy you need to keep going. There would be slow days, days you will feel you are not doing your best, that’s fine, so long as you keep on the path. Then there will be the days when your energy is at its peak and you can almost feel yourself leap into the air and fly. They are the ups and the downs, and they are normal when chasing your dreams, only never give up. Only those who keep moving forward arrive at the finish.

You can try any of these steps and your life will change. There is a magic attached to intentional learning, what it does is that, the moment you adopt one principle and begin to make it work for you, you automatically embrace the other principles. The reason is this, no one principle exists in isolation, they are all connected. So start anywhere, begin with the one that speaks directly to you and your life will begin to change. You will find that making your dreams come true is not some strange business, that is isolated from the life you already live, the one is linked to the other.

Dreams

 

If you’ve been inspired in any way by this post, kindly share your thoughts in the comment section. If you will like to also share, privately, what you are learning, or have any questions, shoot me an email — citygirl_muse@yahoo.com. XOXO