follow your dreams

Dream…

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I like to tell my clients to just dream…

Because nothing is beyond you when you dream and it is in dreaming that we overcome our fears and start believing.

And like Eleanor Roosevelt said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

So seriously, dream…

Dreams do come true… if you believe…

14 WAYS TO NOT REGRET A THING IN YOUR LIFE

“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.”― Mercedes Lackey


1. Spend wisely: We each have the tendency to spend lavishly when we have money. The secret is to predetermine not to be extravagant and be prudent. No matter what is at stake, prioritize, have a weekly budget and determine to stick to it. Above all, learn to say No to sentimental triggers to spend, especially from loved ones. Delayed gratification always pay-off in the end. Tomorrow when a real need arises, they will love you more for being able to help then.

2. Save money every time you can: Money does have wings and when its gone, you can hardly account for it. Even when you can account for it, you wonder at why you had to spend so much for certain things. Discipline yourself to put money away for a long time, either true mutual funds, or with the help of a financial adviser, invest in some trusted venture. Money that isn’t stored away will be spent eventually.

3. Never have too many expectations of people or have none at all: Half of the time we are busy coloring other people all kinds of hues. And we expect them to be such and such. We expect them to speak a certain way at a certain time and when that doesn’t happen we are pissed. The only person answerable to your rules of engagement is you. Be reasonable, respect people for who they are. This is about the hardest tip on here. Still there is no harm in trying.

4. Always find a way to keep your dreams floating around you: In other to stay focused we need reminders, like a daily journal where we make notes about our daily lives; our little victories and our goals. Or a calendar or date book, where we note down all our very important to-dos or a vision board where we stick-on all kinds of pictures, notes, reminders, magazine tarots etc. Anything to remind you daily & steadily about where you are headed.

5. Have self-rule or self-government, you must have limitations of your own: We will keep tripping over ourselves if we don’t have clear cut rules and principles. If you’re not the party or the clubbing type, don’t do it because you want to make your girlfriends happy. And if you don’t enjoy going drinking alcohol or its just not ‘your thing’. Don’t do it because you suddenly realize you should live! There are many ways to catch your fun. Discover them and stick with them. There’s difference between living a lie and being adventurous. Be principled, have your point of view.

6. Always be the gracious one, be the giver: Never be the disadvantaged one. Even when you do not have the kind of money you wish to have, or are broke, jobless or sharing an apartment with a mate. Be the gracious one, the encourager, the helper, the giver, and the reasonable one. Always summon your inner power, think through your words and let your words be few. Be the sort after, the one who always knows what’s best and offers her insight with politeness.

7. Never place too much worth on things: Sometime we get too engrossed with stuff, like phones and tablets, cars, or furniture that we find ourselves lashing out heatedly at a loved one. Simply because of a scratch, crack or stain. In the end we are regretful and full of apologies and that’s if we are lucky. Sometimes we may never get the chance to take back those hurtful words no matter how sorry we are. Things can be replaced when they get shattered, but hardly can we repair the human heart once its bruised.

8. Make room for failure: It is okay to miss the target. It is okay to fall short of your deadline. It is okay to be laughed at. It is okay to be fired or jilted. It is okay to make a bluff. So long as at the end of the day, you are taking away with you, a hard learned lesson, one that would motivate to try again no matter the obstacles. Make room for tough times, they are  a part of your journey.

9. Don’t be too hard on yourself: It is good to set goals and have a calendar or timetable so long as it doesn’t become a rope around your neck. Whatever systems you put in place are to keep you motivated and on course not to sentence you and strangle you when you fall short. Stay motivated not agitated. Be easy on you, conserve your energies for greater challenges ahead.

10. Always set a goal that is bigger than you for the purpose of stretching only: When you are about to set a goal, you are usually advised to set big goals. The purpose is for you to stretch in the process of reaching that goal, not that the goal itself is an embargo on your productivity. It is not to draw blood when you don’t meet up, it is for sake of you becoming a more aware, more confident and goal oriented person. Life is about the journey no the destination.

11. Never say never to love because of heartbreak: When you shut the doors against love entirely, you put yourself susceptible to matters of the heart. You expose your life more harmful relationships more often than not because you may decide to think that so long as your heart is not involved, you are fine. The heart however is the most deceptive and slippery part of man. You cannot lie to your heart no more than you can to yourself.

12. Make it a point of duty to learn about the person you about to date: One of the easiest way to feel your beautiful life wit ‘had I knows’ & ‘If only’ is by dating someone who overpowers you by controlling you and suppressing your liberty. In most cases we are either too carried away by fluttering butterflies that we ignore all the signs. Richard Templar said, “If it walks like a duck and squawks like a duck, it is probably a duck.” Learn to read the handwriting on the wall.

13. Don’t be a people-pleaser: Mark & Angel hit the nail on the head when they said, “Learn how to say “no” to people and obligations that do not add value to your life.  Your time on this planet is precious.” Master the art of saying No to negative people, and to negative relationships, energy drainers and haters. And guess what, you don’t have to explain yourself when you do. Just say no, end of story.

14. Everything comes to an end, stay and live in the present moment: Do not get too carried away pursuing dreams that you forget to live. A life lived with fervor and deep meaning is the one that noticed the other person’s successes and found the time to congratulate him. Live life here, and now not then and there. Live life in the present. Buy someone a gift, send a text of encouragement, return a visit, sit and genuinely catch up with loved ones. Everything that truly matters is here and now, not the past, not the future, but here and now.


“Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in.”― Katherine Mansfield

here and now

Every Seed Takes Time To Grow, So Do Your Goals

The best time to plant a tree is 20 years year ago… – Chinese proverb


 

Time is life’s determining factor. One thing that has killed many spirits and snuffed out many brightly lit and promising lives, is impatience, unreasonable thinking and fuzziness.

Have you ever written and sent a business proposal to a client and the reply delays in coming and then you begin to fidget and become restless, not sure what to expect, you begin to anticipate the worse of scenarios?

Do you find that you have the same attitude towards your goals? Say you have written down a few things you will like to achieve within the next 24 months; like change jobs, buy a car and move into a decent neighborhood.

You send out applications and go for interviews and in the midst of it all, you  get temperamental and high-strung. Cussing the companies that call you up for a chat or those who did but didn’t call you for the job.

If this is who you are when you expect results then you are rightly being impatient and unreasonable.

Think about the trees you see around and think about the gardeners who planted them. You think that there would be any trees at all if they cussed and dug out every seed they planted out of agitation?

Think a minute about the seed and listen to this; what do you think happens when a seed is planted? I am going to take my time to share some insight I learned about seeds and germination.

When a seed is planted, any type of seed; the first thing that happens is this; the seed first announces its potential to the universe and begins to attract unto itself what it needs for growth — water, sunlight, nutrients etc. It absorbs all of these, swells, splits up, cracks open and dies so that its inner energy can sprout, breakthrough the earth, push out the dirt and grow upward.

Depending on the seed type, the time frame for this underground phases usually differ. The seed type here is synonymous to your goals, long-term, short-term or mid-term, depending on what is at stake, because sometimes we are unreasonable with our timing and deadlines.

Brian Tracy says, there are no unreasonable goals, only unreasonable deadlines. Take a Baobab tree for example; it is very slow in growing. Yet when it  does, however, the tree reaches heights of 5 to 30 metres (16 to 98 ft) and trunk diameters of 7 to 11 metres (23 to 36 ft). Plus its trunk can hold up to 120,000 litres of water.

The growth pattern of the Baobab tree teaches us a lot about patience and the potency of acknowledging the time factor. If our goals and our dreams will become any good at all, we must learn to put in the work, one day at time, trusting that the potential of our seed will shoot out in exactly the right time.

You must however plant that seed first. Believe in your dream enough to have goals, written goals with stipulated time frames. If you don’t meet your deadline, set a new one. Revisit, re-examine, re-estimate, and keep tweaking till you find what works.

When you don’t meet up to deadlines, it is not a time to cuss and kill yourself with worry. Give it time. Trust that, all the applications and the interviews will all workout one way or another. One day, it will be exactly the right time for you and nothing will stop it.


 The best time to plant a tree is 20 years year ago, the second best time is now – Chinese proverb

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You got to find what you LOVE!

As we come to the close of another month, I’ll like to share this piece with you. It inspires me anytime I read it and every word of it is so, so true. Many people inspire me, many things stir me to want to be better than I currently am. Like ordinary people doing extra ordinary things, like my awesome family members and their big hearts, like great books written by beautiful people, great movies with moving stories, like the author of this piece you are about to read.


“If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.”

You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.  Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.

STAY HUNGRY. STAY FOOLISH.

Selected text from the transcribed speech by Steve Jobs,
Stanford Report, June 14, 2005


I hope you’ve had an amazing July just like I’ve had.  I hope you’ve been inspired by my random musings. I hope you have learned something new. I hope you have been convinced, even if it’s just a little bit, that you are bigger inside than you could ever imagine. If you believe so, then why not, my July has certainly been awesome. Write down your goals for August, take a step of faith and reach for the stars! Be simply awesome!! XOXO

Reach for the stars

10 tough decisions you will have to make in pursuit of happiness

In matters of style, swim with the current;
in matters of principle, stand like a rock. – Thomas Jefferson


1.    Follow your heart to your dreams:

Have a set of written goals. The one who seeks to be anything in life will first dream and then after dreaming will have a plan to attain that dream otherwise, as the saying goes, she would have planned to fail. Deep within you is a familiar rhythm, your in born music, the one you have been humming from the word go. You know what makes you happy. There is a place for everyone on the grande stage of life and every time you look at the stars, you see a glimpse of  who you want to be and that image gets clearer as you take consistent steps towards your goals.

When you follow your heart ,you find your voice…and opportunity, love and a world of difference will be there to greet you!

Follow your dreams to reach your goals, and then follow your goals to reach your dreams. Hold your image. Life’s storms will always rise to rock your boat, and when life happens, hold fast to dreams. You will make many turns that turn out to be dead ends, you will start-over plenty of times, you will try many ideas that would last only a few moments of success like fireworks, you will fail many times. It sounds scary but it is true. It is the beauty of dreams and that is the price you pay for staying committed to them.You’ll face lots of mountains to climb, and you’ll have the strength and belief to do it.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.~Les Brown.

2.    Walking away from anything that no longer defines you

Life is in phases and some of the best decisions you will ever make in life is knowing when a phase is closing and then trusting your intuition to lead you into the next phase of your life. These change in seasons are like the changing tracks of a rail road, they are not in the least easy transitions to make. Once you fail to turn your wheels ever so slightly to take that new course, you will continue on a course that has no plan, and no future for you but routine which leads to staleness, unproductively and inevitably extinction. The only constant thing in life is change and to find true happiness you must keep changing, keep trusting your gut to walk away from overdue liabilities, obligations and interactions that no longer resonate with you. Sometimes life calls for you to adapt, grow new skills and adaptable traits. As you keep making these changes, you will learn the difference, to know when to adapt and when to walk away. One way to know, is to listen to your inner yearnings and longings, they never lie. Its like hunger to food, when you feel those pangs you know you have to eat. Ignoring your hunger will lead to ulcers.

You can find your way in life by start listening to the wisdom of your body, and your intuition when feelings of joy appear it’s a good thing to trust that you are on the right way

And once you succeed in making that change, you develop adaptable traits to adjust into a new territory of influence. You will be misunderstood and sometimes be seen as confused or ridiculous. In the last couple of years, I’ve changed jobs quite frequently, and even though many have seen this trait as unethical, I have somehow been able to make sense of all the transitions that occur in my career. As unethical as those changes seemed, each phase brought with it new experiences that have enriched my growth. Making these choices come at different stages for all of us, for one person it could mean saying goodbye to a job, while for another it could be changing location or moving house, it could be the close of one business and the start of another. Whatever it is, you must trust your instincts to make the right move once it is time. Also remember, if you aren’t on a journey, hardly will any of these make any difference to you. You have to be going somewhere before the road signs can make any sense to you.

3.    Staying true to relationships that grow you

Even the finest dreams and the biggest ideas, like great ships, can be sunk because of the slightest shift in focus. You must recognize for yourself people who continue to point you in the direction of your dreams and then nurture those relationships. These are the people who keep telling you how good you are at something even when you don’t see the good yourself. They are the ones who always remind you of promises you have made to achieving certain goals and they never condemn you when you fail. These people are usually the minority, they are hardly among the general crowd seeking entertainment. They’re only concerned to see you begin to live up to their expectations of you which is — you can do better than you are doing now! They are like your sounding boards, they help you stay in line, and caution you when you are drifting away from your own blueprints. They sense when you’re off track and then help you get back on course. They keep you accountable. They believe in you, in your talents and in your dreams. There’s no point crowding your life with a bunch of people who literally have no use in your growth. Stick with the ones who do and nurture these friendships. Remember to return the favor when opportunity presents itself. Be a trusted friend and encourager.

4.    Choosing your circles wisely

If you want to fly like an eagle, you’ll know then that your place isn’t with the chickens. And to desire to fly like an eagle, will mean you are an eaglet needing the skill an assistance of a full grown eagle. In choosing your circles, you will be deliberating creating for yourself an environment that will help you achieve your goals. There will be a lot of friction along this path, because your priorities begin to change and when your priorities change, the company you keep changes automatically. The places you go to begin to matter and your entire outlook begins to conform to your new rules of engagement. With your new ‘highly experienced’ associations you are not afraid to stretch beyond your comfort zone. Be prepared for backlashes at this junction, because a few people would begin to say the dreadful ‘you-have-changed’ and not too many people are comfortable with being told they have changed. It is a statement of betrayal that puts you in the position of the betrayer. However, in life, when in pursuit of happiness – the fulfillment of our dreams – many things would shift and if we don’t shift with the seasons, we put ourselves at the risk of simply existing.

Everything feeds you; food, music, environments, people. Let the best surround you

5.    Consciously shutting out negativity and toxic relationships:

Our minds have a default negative thinking pattern. It is usually easier for the human mind to think negative thoughts than positive thoughts. It is easier to feel fear than bravery, to anticipate the worse than to have faith. We sight the flaws very quickly than the pluses. However true happiness only comes to those who anticipate it not those who talk about it. You have to consciously expect to be happy to be happy, in that case happiness becomes a choice not a feeling. You have to make conscious efforts to shut out the nagging thoughts of doubt and crippling fear that show up anytime you  think about your goals. It is like a daily routine of workout, you keep at it daily, reminding yourself of  what you hope to achieve and repeatedly exchanging one negative thought for a positive one. If a thought says, “what makes you think you will succeed?”, you say “what’s stopping me from trying?” In the other hand, you have dream killers, and they come in different forms, sometimes they are simply negative people telling you your dreams are absurd, other times they could be a relationship that has gone from casual misunderstanding to poisonous. When someone keeps bringing up the past in peaceful times, that person does not align with your center, and continuous references to the past draw you back, you need to stay focused. It could be letting go of someone who continues to hurt you, a relationship you have to genuinely admit is over and can only do you more harm than good. Sometimes because we are deeply in love with someone, we are unable to see objectively but if we are in love with our dreams just as much, we can find the strength to let go of an abusive relationship and then take hold of our dreams. This can be a wrenching and extremely painful process but one you will be thankful for in the end.

6.    Let bygones be bygones:

Regret is the most wasted human emotion.  It removes energy, leads you down the wrong path.

Hold no one to ransom. Have no place for hate in your hate, hate is a poison that kills you slowly and sucks you dry of joy and peace. Forgive the offender. Blame no one for your misfortunes. Forgive the past, and believe that people can be better than they are and that your circumstances can change if you remain consistent and don’t look back. Make amends and build bridges, embrace new opportunities to experience the best out of every circumstance and and every individual. Look straight ahead and careless about people or stuff whose association you may lose along the way, consider them to be weights, as you must travel light on this journey if you must reach your destination.

7.    Love what you’ve got while seeking what you love

Be thankful for today, embrace the gift that is today and have hope for tomorrow. Cherish the gift of time you have now, and the chances and circumstances that come your way to bring you closer to your dreams. Nurture your youth and your health while you have the chance, spend time with your loved ones, and continue to remain loyal and committed to your dreams. And when tomorrow comes, you will be more than ready to harvest its fully bloomed fruits and goodness.

8.    Take responsibility for your actions:

Nobody but you is responsible for your life. When you’re in the wrong, apologize with deep sincerity and whether or not the other person is appeased, choose to forgive yourself and move on. When you’ve made a mistake, accept that you made a wrong call and learn from your misfortunes. Be kind to people you meet along the way even though you may be having the worse of the days. Always speak a kind word or say nothing at all. If words don’t come easily for you, then try smiling, a smile speaks many languages and never goes wrong.  Avoid giving excuses, only say sorry or thank you. Avoid explanations, accept the rebuke with graciousness. Work hard, stay focused and be consistent. Be a giver, give of yourself and expect less in return; the law of giving says, the more you give of yourself without expecting anything in return, the more will come back to you from the most unexpected sources. Take no prisoners. Take your own risks, trust your instincts, don’t wait to be spoon fed with the ideas of others. Follow your path, tell your unique story with each day that unfolds and trust that your own experiences will lead you to your grande finale.

9.    Be patient:

Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not.  It just takes some time to connect all the dots. – Marc & Angel.

Patience is a great virtue that comes with a very great price. It means that sometimes you will chose to walk the distance and not hitch a ride because you know that walking will toughen your muscles. Other times it will mean you will go the full length, encountering bumps, potholes and ditches, bushes and dry patches instead of using the shortcuts because you know the end will justify the means. Also patience means, putting in the work, because if you don’t put it in, you are getting nothing out. You will do well to have patience, because patience always carries within itself great rewards that only reveal themselves in the end.

Nature  does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
– Lao Tzu

10.    Whatever happens, choose happiness

In your pursuit of happiness, you will suffer many trials, you will have bad days, and bad weather. You will encounter dead ends, and negative people. You will fail many times, you will make silly and embarrassing mistakes. You will let people down, your priorities will change, you will change as well. You will keep changing, it is the one thing that remains constant, every other thing shifts to conform to your transitions and as you move along, some people will go, others will stay, many will disappear, and a few new ones will show up. Sometimes you will not understand what you are feeling or what you are doing nor where you are going, whatever happens, remember to choose happiness. Whether you’re down, or your just living, at every moment and at every junction, choose happiness. Make no exchange for less, trade it for nothing. Stay thankful, stay grateful, stay hopeful and ultimately, stay happy.

 

Choose happiness