fear of the unknown

LOST BUT NOT LOST

Don’t be afraid to lose yourself in what you love, you’ll find yourself there right back again – Marc & Angel

This is a typical case of finding a needle in a haystack, how does that happen? By a miracle. Simple. Only a miracle will suddenly bring you to the spot, at a time when you aren’t even looking, and voila, your needle. You pick it up and you laugh to yourself because you know that sort of thing doesn’t just happen and not to everyone. You think for a moment that perhaps, you are special after all.

There are moments in life when, like the needle in a haystack, you are lost and completely clueless. When you first started out, it was fun and dazzling, now it is well… a step away from crazy and insane as in really bad. Not good kinda bad.

You are wondering, wasn’t I supposed to be on this job for two years and then return to my home country? Why isn’t that happening? Why haven’t I made a move to quit? Wasn’t this supposed to be a casual date, why do I suddenly want more than just a casual date? Why do I suddenly harbor thoughts of satin dresses and cakes? This wasn’t part of the plan? Didn’t I say no babies until I had my second degree? How come I don’t feel a tinge of regret since the third baby arrived?

What is wrong with me? Am I losing my zip? Is this what happens when, you feel you are on the right track only to discover  you’ve  made a wrong decision, and then before you know it, everything collapses on you? What is happening to me? Why do I feel lost? I do love my life, but this new path was never part of the plan, how much longer before I lose my joy? Trust me, I can tell that something is awfully wrong, I usually don’t do this, I’m  usually not like this. I used to be the life of the party. The person everyone wants to talk to. The one who always dressed the sexiest. My days were brighter and funner.

What’s happening is that, we shift and we morph and we change, and when we change, everything changes. We stop loving peppers and start obsessing over garlic. We suddenly don’t want to travel the world again, we want to build a family. We wake up with a new urge and we start to draw a new map. We are loving it, but we are scared. We are frightened. We are terrified because we do not know where this new yearn will take us, how far it will throw us and maybe too far from the original plan, too far from the original goal.

It is true that our goals do evolve. It may look like a different goal but it is the same target, same aim. Same dream to be, do and have more in life. The dream to be all that we can. The sheer knowing that we can do all things, causes our subconscious mind to constantly bring our way all kinds of possibilities to ensure that we drink our fill of life.

So, it’s okay to feel lost sometimes, that things aren’t going as planned and what’s even scarier is that you aren’t inclined to stop it. You love the change. You secretly enjoy what it is doing to you, but you feel deep inside that you may have betrayed your dreams, no you haven’t. Don’t be afraid to lose yourself in what you love, you will find yourself there, right back again. Meaning, it’s only a matter of time and then the fog will clear and you find that you are right where you should be at the very place where it all adds up.

Lost but not lost

 

Stop worrying about how it all adds up, keep moving ahead

Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not.  It just takes some time to connect all the dots – Marc & Angel

The only single thing required of you to do for the rest of your life is to remain in pursuit of what makes you happy. Keep your eye on that ball. Never let it go. Hold that image. Everything else will fall in place. All kinds of hazards and problems begin to happen when you begin to take things too seriously and try to understand everything that happens to you and why they are happening. Instead of burning so much energy trying to understand what life is about, what you did wrong to get punished this way, or where you missed a step to have fallen this far and hard to the ground, rather take the time to look around and see how you can get yourself back on track.

You’ve heard the saying, you cannot cheat nature. That statement is so, so, true. Its like cheating to loose weight. You follow the rules according to the books, you diet and exercise and all, and in a few months, you are back and bigger than you once were. What happened? The answer  is simple, you cannot cheat nature. You cannot deal with the outside without dealing first with the inside. You cannot want your body to look good when you haven’t first decided to love your body enough to keep away from junk, late eating, and over eating. The weight loss has got to begin inside first, with you disciplining yourself and controlling your eating. The exercise and diet routine are only extra support to help you reach your goal faster.

It is the same thing with life, we want to get to the top but we don’t want to follow the stair way, we like the elevator, one way ticket, the freeway, no turns, no sharp bends, no snaky roads, no speed bumps. Only speed. Growth like that is premature, what you end up having are weak muscles born out of an inexperienced mind. And since the higher you go, the greater the challenges you face, your inexperience will cause you a premature collapse from your high horses. When you think you can get by with unresolved issues in your car trunk, one day the corpses will bellow so hard, you will be forced to stop and deal with it.

Just as you can’t cheat nature, you cannot cheat the laws of the universe. Whatever goes up must come down. What goes around, comes around. What you put in, is what you get out. What you sow is what you reap. You don’t want to get to your summit with too much baggage. Chances are you may never arrive in the first place, bearing that much load, you tend to crumble beneath the weight. You want to be light as a feather and solid as a rock. You want to be light enough to surmount your obstacles and solid enough to withstand the deadliest storms.

Sometimes life will draw you back a step or two, or a mile or two in the opposite direction, and you will want to fight it, don’t. Let it play out. It is only in hindsight that you will be able to connect the dots. Sometimes in life, the winds will throw you so far from what looked like your horizon, don’t go and smack your head against the wall, look around, there is a very good reason why you are here at this particular point in time. Sometimes in life the waves will rise so high and thunderously above you, and in spite of your reciting the master’s ‘peace be still’ and mustering all the faith that you got, you still would witness with your very eyes, how the waves eventually crash your titanic and send you struggling  for dear life out in the Atlantic, in the middle of nowhere.

Don’t curse God then, and wait for death. Keep believing. If you couldn’t calm the storm, perhaps you cloud try walking on water. And if that doesn’t work out either, be rest assured something will. There is a reason for every season and most of the time, all through history, heroes have only been able to make sense of their dilemmas and tragedies only after they persevered and overcame. Only after they let go and moved on. Only after they went on ahead, where they able to see from hindsight that it all worked out for good in the end. Stop worrying about how it all adds up, keep going on ahead. It all works out in the end.

 

Woman