“They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.”  ~Confucius

You probably already know that this statement is true, that change is indisputably necessary for your growth. You may also have accepted it to be invariably correct. The only obvious reason why you may be part of the majority who seldom experience this change would be because change itself rarely comes wrapped in silk and satin.

That the preceding statement is truer is possibly the reason change is so often a discomforting and distressing process. Our default reaction to change is usually denial and resistance. The familiar is usually a safer place to be. We are often thrown into disquieting and sometimes traumatic circumstances by life itself.

The purpose is to cause us to shift in our thinking by constantly making us vulnerable because it is only in vulnerability that we are pliable and able to learn; take a new form of being and adapt a new form of thinking. It a process quite similar to smelting iron, it is only in extremely heated conditions that iron can be fabricated into a new shape and form.

And as humans we are frequently set in our ways, easily adaptable to conditions and easily comfortable. Life never proposes change to you upfront, it knows you will fight it and by all means find ways to avoid it. Hence why the presentation comes through difficult circumstances and complications. The essence is to make you vulnerable, learn a new lesson, have a new perspective.

These altering processes are ongoing throughout our lives. We are subject to change whether we like it or not and it is expected that we become stronger, better, and bigger inside. And the degree of strength we muster is determined by the degree to which we allow the difficulty to make us malleable and pliable. In other to become strong, we must first become weak.

If you would attain to what you are not yet, you must always be displeased by what you are. For where you are pleased with yourself, there you have remained.  
Keep adding, keep walking, keep advancing.  
~Saint Augustine

It is true that life does have the power and authority to throw you into circumstances meant to change you but it can only go so far, the choice to change however must come from you. You are the person responsible for that part of the negotiation. It is left to you to become vulnerable or be resistant.

The difference between the one who becomes vulnerable towards change and the one who isn’t is this; one changes for good and the other gets worse. Its like the desert storm, the same storm that blinds the eye shapes rough stones into finer pebbles. Like the quarry, some rocks appear jagged and others even better refined. Like the refiners fire, from it materializes both pleasant and grotesque pieces.

The state of your mind is your most precious asset when it comes to confronting life’s most difficult circumstances. If you can protect your mind from being poisoned then you will be fine. If you can protect your mind from being injected with blame, and with regret and guilt, you will do well.

The trick is to believe that everything good that comes to us never always come as expected, sometimes it is a rose bush. One that requires your vigilance and a cautious tactic. You can decide to end up with a vase of roses or with several scars inflicted by the thorns.

It is a matter of perspective. What do you see, what do you expect? Our actions or reactions are predetermined by our perception about the circumstance at hand. Do we want more, do we hope to be better, do we believe that our lives can be  more sensible? Then change is inevitable. It must also be desired and expected. It is meant to be embraced not negated.

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the courage to change the one I can,
and the wisdom to know it’s me.  
~Author Unknown

Wherever you find yourself in life, and whatever you become, never be misled to think that something strange is happening to you that you begin the grisly task of wanting to change things up and cheat the law of nature. Choose to be the butterfly, endure your process, knowing the end is a splash of colors and beauty. Difficult circumstances are perhaps the biggest puzzles in life and even though they always  seem to solve themselves in the end, they never truly make sense until you have crossed that bridge and then from hindsight begin to connect the dots.

So when things go wrong, instead of fighting the elements and inflicting more pain and sorrow on yourself, accept what is and keep walking, keep advancing, only don’t give in. It is not a time to blame or point fingers or be embittered. While in that maze, realize that in order to get out of it, you must be fully centered and focused on getting out first, then the rest will take care of it self.

You will be wise to come to the conclusion everything time you find yourself in a difficult situation that ‘you‘ are the center of attraction, you only, and not the other obnoxious individuals that have affected you negatively. You are the one in the mess and you are the one who needs to get out. It is also your responsibility to get yourself out not someone else’s. You are the subject and you are the object. You are the writer, and it is your decision to be either protagonist or villain. This your life so deal with it.