END THE BLAME GAME

Thinking is like loving and dying. Each of us must do it for himself.
– Josiah Royce

The moment you begin to realize that truly, truly, only you are responsible for the decisions you take and the choices you make, you will cease to assign blames. You will experience many unpleasant circumstances in life, many people will take you for a ride, people you trust will let you down.

Question is who do you become in all of it? What kind of thoughts do you allow in those dreary seasons of your life? What do you begin to secretly call yourself and the people who victimize you? What kind of picture do you begin to paint of the future?

What decisions do you take then and what would be the outcome of your choices? These are deep questions calling for deep thinking; speaking of which, thinking is a chore that only you can do for yourself.

The trouble with most people is that they think with their hopes or fears or wishes rather than with their minds. – Will Durant

You can reel out a long tape of how ‘A’ was a bitch and how ‘C’ got away with crap. You can write a notebook full of all your sore ordeals and sour deals and attribute an entire phase of your life to someone’s inconsistencies. The ball still will remain in your court, waiting for you to call the shot.

Its like falling in love; you meet someone, you like his persona, you find that he is smooth talking and easy going, he is intelligent and very responsible or whatever. You begin to grow fond of him, and in spite of what people say, you fall in love with him and you become his woman. Now whose fault is that?

Whose fault would it be if it doesn’t work out in the end or who would be responsible if it did work out? The dating site or the matchmaker? Yeah, they probably had a hand in it, but really whose decision was it to go along with it in the first place?

It is same thing with choosing your thoughts and deciding which thought would be the dominant one. Do you lean in to regret, hate yourself for being such a fool or do you decide that the situation doesn’t have to get worse than it already is?

Do you stir-up arguments and heat up the bitching to prove a point or do you choose to loose the debate in order to save what is most important to you. Do you choose defeat for friendship sake or do you choose victory and rip apart an alliance?

Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought. – John F. Kennedy

Your whole life is hinged upon the choices you make daily. It is your responsibility to make exactly the right choice for you. You can ask for opinions from others, seek their counsel and crave their indulgence or whatever. After all said and done, the onus is on you to choose exactly the path you will follow and the action you will take.

Just as much as loving and dying, thinking also must be done independently and solitary. It is like molding a piece of pottery, you have all the details in your head and ll the patterns that inspire the design. Yet it is your ability to take one thought at a time while you work on that clay and the wheel, that determines the final outcome.

Choose one thought at a time, take life one day at a time. Don’t be afraid to make those choices. Even when you go wrong, realize where you missed it and choose afresh. Keep trusting your intuition and your super-consciousness to help you with the correct choice every time. You will never learn how until you try.

Never be afraid to sit awhile and think. – Lorraine Hansberry

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