Love doesn’t hurt, expectations do – Pushkaraj Shirke
Pain can be a real bitch at times. Especially pain inflicted by someone you love and genuinely care about. The more hurt you bear for the sake of love, the more danger you risk. You are at risk of the inevitable explosion that comes after the cup gets full and then it gets very messy. The broth is spilled on everyone and everything. You are at risk of letting your pain get in the way, it first poisons you, then it poisons the other. If you are familiar with snake bites, you know that poison must be stopped immediately from traveling further through the body fluid of the inflicted. Well, unlike snake bites, what unattended pain does to us is more like slow deadly poison. An emotional wound that isn’t treated becomes infectious and deadly.
Perhaps the easiest way to deal with pain is take your eyes off the offender and set it on their vulnerability, our vulnerability as humans. How we all can be weak, afraid and misguided. How we are easily misunderstood by each other because of our colored perceptions and how we often overreact and only begin to see sense once the milk is spilled. We only feel remorse after we have fully satisfied our urge to damage, mutilate and wreck a havoc. In a way we are like vampires, having a voracious appetite for human blood, easily aroused, then we are like the werewolf, remorseful naked and ashamed once our cravings are gratified.
However when we see and accept our vulnerabilities as humans then we can understand better and act in wisdom other than react out of fear. We can be wise and give some distance, go somewhere to heal. You must heal because you now know that an untreated wound can easily be infected and that it is slow poison in action. Therefore, going away from the scene and from your precious friend isn’t exactly out of disdain but an act of protection, protection for yourself first. It may seem selfish, but selfish is good at this time. Distance is required. You must heal, so that your heart can recover and your mind free of poison. You may want to cease interaction at this time with this person who is acquainted too well with bites and stings. It is for the greater good, both for you and for her. By going away, you may be perceived as unforgiving, hateful and resentful. But you do know deep down, that by that distance, you leave a door open.
Pain is a sudden hurt that can’t be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.”
― C. JoyBell C.